Spinning Bottles
by knicnort3
Summary: This twist of fate story finds Edward Masen, CEO of Cullen Enterprises, getting thrust into the life that he would have had if he never left for college in New York after high school. *My take on the movie "The Family Man" * AH, B/E, AU, HEA, EPOV
1. Intentions

**Spinning Bottles**

Description: This twist of fate story finds Edward Masen, CEO of Cullen Enterprises, getting thrust into the life that he would have had if he never left for college in New York after high school.

~Originally based on the movie/story 'Family Man'(but we get much darker). No copyright infringement intended. I do not own 'Twilight' or 'Family Man', all sequential chapters apply.

AH, AU, E/B, OOC, EPOV, Rated M for citrusy goodness and adult language.

Drama, angst, some laughs, and as always with my stories, a HEA (Happily Ever After)

Warning! - This story does contain an abortion and a suicide attempt in later chapters. If this offends you, then you may not want to read.

***Banner on my bio/profile!

* * *

><p>~Chapter 1 – <em>Intentions<em>~

**Forks, Washington  
>July, 2000<strong>

"That's so weird," Bella said unexpectedly.

"What?" I replied concerned.

"The sky…it looks darker somehow," she said warily.

"Darker?" I questioned with a laugh. "How so? The stars are out, the moon is bright, and we've even already seen three shooting stars."

We were lying on the roof of her father's house, and like we had done so many times before whenever it was clear out, we were lazily watching the night sky and enjoying our time together – _at least I thought we were before she got all ominous on me_.

"I don't know what it is…it's just darker," she murmured before visibly shaking. "See, I've got the willies!" She held her arm up closer to my face, and pulled her sleeve up so I could see the goose-bumps there.

I smiled and grabbed her arm before kissing it gently.

"It's just cold out," I whispered to her, then brought my lips to her neck and began kissing there.

"It's more than the cold," she said, but her worry was definitely melting away as my kissing trailed down to her collarbone.

"Well, cold or eerie feeling aside, it's about to get a whole hell of a lot warmer out," I mumbled against her skin, and began unbuttoning her pants.

"We're on a roof," she protested feebly.

"And?" I said while pushing my hand down under her panties, and effortlessly finding my desired location. Despite her false weak verbal objections to my current hand position, her body was definitely singing a different story. As I began circling her moist sensitivity, her hips started lightly rocking to enhance the motion.

"Edward," she breathed.

"Uh huh," I said carelessly.

"My dad will be home soon," she said, which immediately made me pull back.

She had asked me to stop, but when I did pull away, she whimpered and tried to pull me back, but I needed to make something perfectly clear.

"Babe, do me a favor and _never_ mention your dad while I'm touching you like that again," I demanded.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I'm just….."

"Paranoid, I know," I said flatly.

"Ok, forget about it and let's go back inside," she told me. She started getting up so she could collect the blanket and snacks we had brought up, but I pulled her back into me.

"If you're dad is going to come home, he probably wouldn't think to look for you up here," I growled playfully and resumed kissing down her neck.

"Do you really want to fuck me on the roof….where _anyone_ can walk past and see us?" she asked incredulously.

"Yes," I stated. She huffed, but I couldn't help but laugh at her. "No one is out walking right now, and even _if_ they were, no one would have any desire to look up here….and even _if _they did, they couldn't see anything anyway," I reasoned.

I reopened her pants, but instead of just moving my hand inside, I pushed them down so I could remove them. When she lifted her hips so I could pull them down completely, I smiled to myself knowing she wanted it as much as I did – _but of course she did, the woman was always just as horny as I was_.

After I pulled her pants off of her ankles, I quickly moved to work on her shirt, and when that was successfully removed as well, I took a moment to admire what was mine.

God, she was beautiful.

Every part of Bella Swan was perfect, and I thanked my lucky stars that she has such poor judgment as to agree to date me in the first place.

I kissed her lips as she sat up to begin removing my clothes, but we both suddenly slipped an inch down the slop of the roof, which caused us to pause. We stared at each other for a minute, and then laughed before picking up right where we left off.

When we were both as naked as the day we were born, I moved over her and positioned myself between her legs, but she pushed me back.

"Say it," she demanded.

"What?" I played dumb, just as I always did before having sex.

"You know what," she said frustrated. She was just as desperate as I was for a release in that moment, but like always, she refused to continue until I told her what I knew she was waiting for.

"I love you," I told her casually.

"Nope, not good enough," she said before scooting farther away from me.

"Come on babe, my cock is throbbing here…and it's fucking cold," I complained.

"What, do you miss the days before I went on birth control and you had to wear a condom?" she asked smugly. "I'm sure that thin piece of rubber would be good for your frozen cock right now."

"Oh, hell no," I said quickly. "Nothing is better than going bareback. But it is fucking cold babe, please," I said like a moron. I felt like a total pansy sitting naked on a roof, begging my girlfriend for sex, but I would if I had to, because the truth was that I did love her, and I was being stupid for refusing her. It was a simple demand on her part, and for the life of me, I had no idea why I always pretended it was difficult to say.

"Last chance before I close up shop for the evening," she said while grabbing her bra and motioning like she was going to put it back on.

"Bella Swan, I love you more than anything in the entire world," I told her sincerely.

She smiled triumphantly at me, and then reached forward and grabbed the back of my neck to pull me back into her.

I held her for a minute and just savored our kisses, but then my previous eagerness swooped back in to regain control of me, so I pushed into her as slowly as possible. A friend of mine had recently told me that the best way to satisfy a woman was to go slow at first while massaging her clit, and then to gradually pick up pace; I wanted nothing more than for Bella to feel good and satisfied, _not that I ever left my woman unsatisfied or anything_, but I wanted it to be the best possible, so I was trying to follow my friend's advice.

"Oh Edward," she muttered in my ear, and as badly as I tried to hold on to sanity and reason, I completely failed. Her silky voice rolling over my name was such a turn on that I lost all control, and began pounding into her like there was no tomorrow.

Bella always felt so amazing, and regardless of the number of times we had sex, I knew I would never get bored or desire anyone else. She was like heroine, and I was entirely addicted and serving a life sentence. It didn't matter that we were both only eighteen, I couldn't imagine my life without her, and there wasn't anything I would ever let come between us.

Perhaps it was the new semi-public location, but I erupted into her stronger than I could remember ever doing before. I continued to push in and out as I felt her body tighten around me; it was absolute nirvana.

But, as if on cue, headlights flashed from the ground below, and I knew our fun for the night was over. Stupid fucking police chief.

"My dad's home," Bella whispered languidly.

"You don't seem to care," I said equally careless.

"I will…I feel like maybe I might care….in a few minutes…after this pulsating numbness goes away," she said, sounding a bit drunk. We had taken a bottle of vodka up there to share, but it went mostly untouched; she was just high on my mad fucking skills. I decided then to never listen to anybody else's advice about sex again; I knew how to take care of my woman, and that was all that mattered on the topic.

"He'll probably go check in your room for you," I said, and then pulled away to get dressed.

"Wow, look whose being the responsible one," she teased.

"I know; what the fuck is wrong with me?"

We got dressed, and then hurried back through her window just as Chief Swan was unsurprisingly coming through the door to check on her.

"Hey dad," she said casually.

"What the hell are you doing coming through the window?" Charlie grumbled with a scowl towards me.

"We were up on the roof, dad. No biggie," she said unfazed before going over and kissing her father on the cheek but continuing past him towards the stairs. "Come on, Edward," she called me, so I lowered my eyes like a fucking coward, and walked past the chief.

"You're fucking insane," I whispered lovingly in her ear when we got downstairs. She just smiled at me, and rubbed my stomach, which she knew always calmed my nerves.

"Dad, we ordered pizza; I'm sure it's still warm," she told her father when he finally got to the kitchen after us.

"Oh…well, thanks," he mumbled. He grabbed four slices and a beer, and then went into the living room to watch baseball. "Have you been up on the Mariners this season?" Charlie asked me casually over his shoulder. Bella's father never really liked me, but he tolerated me for her sake. He had been a friend of my father's in the past, but after he arrested him for a DUI, they hadn't really spoken, and Charlie seemed to lump me in with my father's irresponsibility.

"Uh…I haven't seen a game in awhile, but," I shrugged.

Charlie mumbled something, but it was obvious I wasn't meant to respond any more. His moment of self-forced attempt to converse with me, had past and we were both grateful for it.

"Ok…well, we're going out," Bella said quickly.

"It's late," Charlie said after looking at the clock.

"Dad, we're eighteen," she reminded him, so he grumbled some more, but didn't try to stop us from leaving again. "Get your keys," she told me quietly, _and believe me, she didn't have to ask twice_.

"So…where to, my lady?" I asked playfully when we got into my car.

"Let's go to your house," she said after a minute.

I scrunched my face in detest. "Why? My dad is probably drunk and naked on the kitchen floor," I whined, knowing she was going to insist.

"Oh come on, I haven't seen him in like a month," she said with a smile, knowing I'd go anywhere she wanted.

"Fine, but if he hits on you again…."

She rolled her eyes. "He never hit on me. He simply said you should hold on to me."

"While looking down your shirt," I added.

"He's harmless," she said dismissively.

I sighed. "Fine, but if he is drunk, we're leaving right away."

"Deal," she agreed.

Bella was actually right about my father, he was harmless; I was just embarrassed as hell of him. He was a smart guy who just….gave up after my mother died, and he was never able to crawl out of his rut. He and my mother had big dreams of owning their own vineyard, so the year before I was born, they found one for sale on the outskirts of Forks, and moved from their home in Chicago. The only problem was, the vineyard was garbage, and never produced good enough grapes to turn into wine. But my parents loved it regardless, and that's where we called home…crappy vines and all.

However, that evening, as Bella predicted, something was different.

"We did it!" my father came running out of the house cheering when we pulled up. Bella smiled at him and jumped in circles right along with him as he celebrated.

"Did what?" I asked him annoyed. My father didn't respond, he just kept jumping and dancing with a happy but clueless Bella. "Did WHAT?" I yelled again.

"We made wine, son; we made WINE!" he screamed towards the sky. He turned back to me and placed his hands on my shoulders. "God has finally given us a break. We had a good harvest this past season, and we will finally be able to become a real working vineyard."

"That's amazing," Bella said enthusiastically. "Congratulations."

"It's not just my victory, my dear girl, it's _our_ victory." He wrapped one arm around her, and then grabbed me with the other. "This is a family business, and you two will take over when you're older, and then your kids will inherit it, and so on and so forth."

I tried to control it. I tried to bite my fucking tongue and let him have his moment, but I just couldn't do it.

"NO!" I yelled and shook out of his embrace. "I'm not like you. I don't want to waste my fucking life working in shit poor soil for fucking fruit, and I don't want to stay in fucking Forks forever," I said harshly.

Bella and my father both looked at me shocked and hurt.

"Edward…this was our dream…your mother's dream," he said slowly.

"So? It's not mine."

"Now son, I realize I haven't been the best father for you, but all that's history now. I'm going to fix this…I'm going to fix our family and be better."

"It doesn't matter," I told him. "You're too late, dad. You haven't been here – not really anyway; I'm an adult now, and I've found my own way. I have dreams and goals of my own, and they have nothing to do with grapes or wine."

"I'm sorry," my father said quietly. "You're right; I've never asked you what you want. What do you want, son? What dreams do you have?"

I stared at him for a minute, then shook my head. "It doesn't fucking matter," I mumbled before turning away.

"Yes, it does. I'll be able to hire people to help me here, but you will always be _my son_," he said intensely.

I locked my jaw, and then sighed. "I want to get a degree in business; _real_ business, the kind where I live in a high rise and wear expensive suits every day. I want a fucking Porsche."

Something made me glance over at Bella, and she looked completely shocked. Surely I had told her about my desire to move to the city one day…surely we talked about it before…didn't we? My plans always included her and it never occurred to me that she may have different plans. I suppose in that sense, I was no better than my father expecting me to do what he wanted.

Fuck.

"I had no idea," my father said solemnly, bringing my attention back to him.

"Of course, you didn't. All you have cared about since mom died….was you. You're nothing but a fucking drunk, and look, now you're making wine. Surprise fucking surprise," I said bitterly, before turning back to my car.

I really didn't know why I was so angry. I should have been happy for my father; I should have smiled and said 'thanks, but no thanks.' But I couldn't stop the rage building just below the surface.

I resented him - for all the years I went hungry at school because he forgot to pay the cafeteria and didn't stock the fridge for me to make my own lunch to bring. I was pissed because I had to clean up his messes time after time, and there he was, wanting me to do it again. But most of all, I still hated him for the accident he caused, which resulted in my mother's death. He wasn't drinking that time, but I still blamed him and could never shake that feeling.

"Come on, Bella," I told her evenly, and waited in the driver's seat for her to get in the car.

She glanced at me, and then turned back to my father. She said something quietly to him, but I really didn't care to listen, and then she kissed his cheek before getting in the car.

I screeched the tires as I spun the car around, and sped off the property. Bella and I didn't speak as I drove her back home, but the tension was thick, and I knew she was pissed at me.

When we arrived in front of her house, I turned the car off, and we continued to sit there in strained silence.

"Just say something," I said finally.

"What do you want me to say?" she asked evenly.

"I don't know….yell at me for yelling at him. Be pissed because we haven't really talked about leaving Forks yet, and there I was shoving it in his face. Just say anything."

She took a deep breath. "Do you really want to leave, or were you just saying that to hurt your dad?"

"No…look, despite my….issues with him, I really didn't mean to explode like that. But…yes, I want to leave."

"And where does that leave us?" she asked stiffly. I knew what she was doing; she was withholding her emotions because she didn't want my decision to be based on how she felt. But what she didn't realize was that my decision _was_ based on her. I refused to leave without her.

"It doesn't change anything about us. We go together, or I don't go."

She laughed once humorlessly. "What am I supposed to do in Seattle?" she asked.

"Well…I was thinking more like New York."

"New York? Edward, I can't move across the country!" she exclaimed.

"Why not?" I asked frustrated. "Bella, what's so good about here? The kind of people who stay here, are the kind with no ambition; small town people with small ideas who are happy with mediocrity. I'm not one of those people, Bella."

"Well, what if I am?" she asked, taking me aback.

"You're not. You are so much better than anyone else here, and staying would just be a waste of how amazing you are."

"There is nothing wrong about here. And who's to say I'm better than anyone else? That's just cold, Edward. There are good people here; we could have a good life here if you just let us. I could never live in the city. I could never be so far from home and my family."

"Of course you could. You always said you wanted to be a writer….a journalist, right? What better place is there for that, then New York?"

She stared at me for a moment, and I could have sworn that she was trying to picture it, but then she shook her head. "It's just not me."

"No, it could be you, but you're scared. But baby, there isn't anything to be afraid of as long as we stay together."

She bit her bottom lip, and then unexpectedly wrapped her arms around my neck. "I love you so much," she cooed.

I smiled into her hair. "I love you too, and that's never going to change. Hey look at me," I pulled away from her slightly and then raised her chin so she would look me in the eyes. "I promise you, if you hate it there, we'll come back. Nothing in the world matters more to me, then you."

She nodded. "And nothing matters more to me than you, so I'll go…but…"

"But nothing. Everything will work out, it has to."

….

We spent the next couple of weeks looking into what it would take to move. Apartments, jobs, schooling; it was all so fucking expensive, and I was beginning to lose hope.

And then it happened.

"Holy fucking shit!" I yelled when I opened the letter. Bella was at my place looking at the New York Classifieds, so she looked up, momentarily startled by my outburst.

"What…what is it?" she asked anxiously.

I can't believe this," I said overwhelmed by the gravity of the moment. I turned quickly, and knocked one of my father's wine bottles off the table. I looked down as it fell, and strangely enough, it seemed to be in slow motion. It was like that moment when you know pain is coming, and there wasn't anything you could do about it. The bottle was going to hit the floor...and it was going to break.

Except it didn't.

Instead of shattering on the tile floor, the bottle bounced once, and then began spinning. For whatever reason, I couldn't take my eyes off the spinning, and I suddenly became dizzy from it.

"Edward, are you ok?" Bella asked me concerned. "Edward?" she repeated when I didn't answer her right away.

"What? Oh sorry," I said while shaking my head and trying to wake up from my brief stupor. I bent over and picked up the bottle, before setting it aside and trying to refocus on the amazing news I just received. "Out of the four hundred applicants, I've been chosen for a full scholarship at the New York School of Business."

"That's…great," she said with all the enthusiasm she could muster. I knew she wasn't really happy about it, but I was also convinced that if she did end up hating it, we would return to Washington and I could work out of Seattle. I would make life good for both of us, I knew I could.

"Yeah, and as soon as we hear back about you journalism internship at Times, we can finally make some real plans."

"Great," she said with a forced smile.

But then reality set in. Apparently my room and board was going to be covered by my scholarship, but I wasn't allowed to have Bella in the dorms with me. Which was fine, I didn't have to live in the dorms to get the scholarship, so I continued to look into apartments….except, with my schedule at school, I wouldn't be able to work….

"It's ok…I'm just going to skip school and try to get a good enough job full time to support us," Bella offered.

"No, I can't let you do that," I said hopelessly. "It's fine…we'll just…stay here. I'll go to the local college and work my way to a business degree. It won't be much different in the long run."

"Edward, this is your _dream_," Bella said intensely. "I can't let you give it up for me."

"No, you're my dream," I told her honestly. "All that I care about is being with you."

"Ok…how about this…you go to school in New York, I'll go here, and when we graduate, I'll move out there to be with you."

"Bella, I don't want to live away from you," I reiterated.

"The next four years will fly by; you'll see. We'll see each other whenever we can; holidays and breaks. It'll be fine," she assured me.

I told her no, and insisted that I was going to stay with her, but the more she tried convincing me, the more my persistence was faltering. We were solid. If anyone could withstand a long distance relationship, it was us.

So two weeks later, I packed my bags, and Bella drove me to the airport.

"Five months….five months, and then I'll be back for Christmas," I said to her, but was really talking to myself. I needed to psych myself into leaving her; otherwise I'd never be able to get on the plane. "And we have email…and letters…and…"

"We'll be fine," she said while rubbing my stomach soothingly.

"This isn't a good idea," I said with a gulp. "Tell me to stay."

"No. You need to go," she said supportively. "Just promise me you'll be back."

"Of course I'll be back," I said, slightly offended in her lack of faith.

"Promise."

"I promise I'll be back." I wrapped her in my arms one last time, and then kissed her passionately before forcing myself to let her go.

"I love you," she whispered.

I smiled. "I love you too," I said effortlessly, which made her grin widely. I grabbed my carry-on bag, pulled my ticket out of my pocket, and then took two steps away from her. "I'm going to marry you Miss Swan. It's only a matter of time."

"You better," she said strongly. "I'll be waiting."

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><p><strong>****We take a spin into present day next, but we'll be jumping around a bit throughout the story.<br>If you like this so far and want me to continue, PLEASE REVIEW! ;-)**


	2. Magic Vines

**Spinning Bottles**

A/N: Thanks so much for all the wonderful reviews! I'm planning weekly updates, sometimes even twice a week. I can't commit to a specific day, but when the chapters are finished, I'll post them :)

Thanks again,  
>~KC<p>

* * *

><p>~Chapter 2 – <em>Magic Vines<em>~

**New York, New York  
>Summer, 2012<strong>

"What the fuck?" I asked groggily as the bright sun was glaring in my face. I sat up and stared blankly at the window, wondering when the hell I opened the blackout blinds.

"No, you're not going crazy; I opened them," a female voice said as she breezed into the room.

I turned towards the familiar voice, and tried like hell to remember who the fuck she was. Obviously, I knew her. She was in my condo and moving around like she fucking owned the place…I only wished I remembered her name.

"Don't give me that look, we talked about me moving in here," she said frustrated. "Edward, if we're going to get married, then we should at least try living together first to be sure we can stand each other on a daily basis."

Oh right…she was my fucking fiancée. Stupid drunken proposal.

"Tanya, you know I don't like the fucking blinds open this early," I complained before grabbing the remote and closing them again.

"Early? It's one pm; it'll be dinner time before you even get showered," she said with attitude.

"Who says I'm showering?" I said carelessly.

"You don't go anywhere without showering…You even shower before you go out for a jog," she challenged me.

"Well, maybe today will be different."

"Edward, I'm not kidding. You need to get up so we can meet the priest in an hour."

I sat up, and glared at her. "I swear, talking to you is like talking to a fucking brick wall," I said harshly. "I told you, I'm not getting married by a fucking priest. You want some big elaborate wedding, then fine, tell me when and where and I'll be there. But no priests. Why don't you hire one of those dikey feminist bitches who chant at the trees, or some shit like that," I told her.

"Edward, our wedding was already announced in the New York Times and Business Week. Everyone who's anyone is coming. We can't have some crazy tree hugger officiating our ceremony," she said slowly so that it would sink in.

"Whatever, Tanya. The truth is that I just don't care what people think, so if there is a priest there, I'll turn right around, and walk away."

"You wouldn't," she challenged.

"Try me," I said straight faced.

"You would throw away all the time and money planning the wedding, just because I hired a priest? You would walk away from _us_?" she asked feigning hurt.

"Don't give me that bullshit!" I shouted. "We both know that I don't give a flying fuck about this wedding, and I'm only doing it because _you _want me to." I stood and walked over to my bathroom, and didn't even care that I was buck naked.

"You better really watch it. You're about to lose me, Edward Masen!"

"I'm fucking terrified," I said emotionlessly. It wasn't the first time Tanya had threatened to leave me, but she never did. That was just how our relationship was; I treated her bad, and she tolerated it and always came back.

_Yeah, I was a fucking douche._

"Fine, I'll find a boat captain, or something," she said with a huff, and stormed out of the room.

"Can't wait!" I called after her.

Tanya was the niece of the founder and largest share holder of my company. I was the CEO, but I was still at the mercy of the board, and the last thing I wanted was to piss them off by breaking it off with Tanya. In the beginning of our relationship, things were actually pretty good between us. We'd go out, chill with friends, and have great sex, but I suppose along the way I sort of lost interest and never really had the balls to end it.

"Jackson, I need to go out," I said after dialing his number on my cell.

"Hello to you too, fucking douche," J said bitterly.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I asked.

"Nothing, but a simple greeting would have been nice."

"Jesus fuck!" I yelled. "I just got finished being bitched at by Tanya, I don't need this shit from you too!"

"Whatever. Stop whining like a little girl," he said irritated. "Where the fuck do you want to go at this hour? It's not even dark out yet."

"Yeah well, I have a meeting tomorrow, so I can't stay out too late tonight anyway. Let's just go get something to eat, I'm fucking starved."

"Alright, Branding Iron?" he assumed, because that was where we always went.

"Yep. Be there in twenty."

I jumped in the shower, dressed, and then combed my hair back. It didn't matter if I was going to a casual lunch with a friend, running out on an errand, partying, or going to work, I always made sure I was dressed well. You never know when you may cross paths with a potential client or colleague, so it was best to always be prepared. Besides, I worked hard to afford the lavish lifestyle that I had become accustom to, and I enjoyed every aspect of it.

"Morning, Felix," I said to the lobby door guy as he held it open for me to leave.

"Good _afternoon_, Mr. Masen," he corrected me. "Have a good day."

After taking my dear sweet time strolling to the restaurant to meet Jackson for breakfast…_or was it lunch_…the hostess led me to the table where he was waiting.

"What the hell took you so long?" he asked bitterly when I came into view. "You said twenty minutes…that was like an hour ago."

"Oh, well I stopped for a blowjob from Britney at the beauty parlor," I said casually.

He just stared at me humorlessly.

"Oh, lighten the fuck up," I said while sitting.

"You know, if you really don't want to be committed to Tanya, then why the hell are you marrying her?" he asked me seriously.

"Commitment…is for idiots," I said while looking in my menu. "No offense," I quickly added.

"I, for one, am happy in my committed relationship," J said defensively.

"You're right, you are the _only_ _one_...The only one who falls in love and actually marries the sexy secretary instead of just fucking her on the side," I said with a laugh. "The modern world of relationships isn't like that anymore. Granted, there are still some old fashioned people who have found contentment with only one partner, but people like you are few and far between, my friend. People get married these days to share in mutual advancement; either monetarily or professionally. It's rare to get married for love anymore, therefore, open marriages are becoming the norm."

"Dude, just because you've never been in love before, doesn't mean you have to belittle it and knock those of us who are luckier than you," Jackson said assuredly.

"J, the sooner you realize that love is just a chemical reaction in the brain, the better," I said seriously.

"Uh huh, whatever. I just hope Tanya knows what she's getting herself into," he mumbled.

"Look, it's not like she doesn't know what a prick I am; we have an understanding. But even more importantly, it's not my fault she always comes back to me."

"Ok, why do _you_ keep taking her back, then?" he asked perturbed.

"She's the founder's niece," I said like my reason should be obvious. "I can't just dump her. What the fuck would Carlisle do? He could convince the board that I'm an irresponsible, untrustworthy, fuckup."

"Are you really that insecure in your job? I thought you were '_The Man'_; I thought the company would fall apart without you?" he said condescendingly. "Surely Carlisle wouldn't force you out just because you pissed off his niece."

"I run that fucking company!" I snapped. "I'm not saying he would force me out because of Tanya, but there are dozens of cocky little pricks coming in everyday thinking they're the answer to any problems we could possibly have. All it takes is one cat to impress Carlisle and for him to get pissed at me just enough, and I'm fucking ringing bells in Time Square."

"It wasn't that long ago that you were one of those little cocky pricks," Jackson pointed out.

"Exactly! I came along, and Carlisle didn't even think twice about convincing the board to push the other guy out. Let's face it, I'm not the youngest guy out there anymore."

"Oh, come on. You just turned thirty, most business guys are in their fifties and sixties," he argued.

"Yeah, but I was twenty four when I started there. Carlisle Cullen likes his talent as young as possible in order to keep ideas fresh. It's a dog eat dog world, and I have to do what I can to keep in the game."

"So…marrying and cheating on his niece is your solution?" J asked incredulously.

"Since when do you care so much about Tanya anyway?"

"I don't…I care about _you_," he said unexpectedly. "I mean, what the fuck is wrong with you lately? You're partying all the time, proposing to your sometimes casual girlfriend who you admittedly don't really care about, and you're hardly ever around anymore. I mean, really, you've been like a fucking ghost….A partying, loud, obnoxious, ghost."

I tried to be offended by his comment, but really, what was there to be offended by? He was right, I was partying more than usual, but I suppose after twelve years of nonstop school and work to get into my current career position, I was a bit worn out. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely loved my job and life in the city, but after turning thirty, I was oddly feeling more like sixty, and it was starting to scare me a bit.

"I just need a change," I said as I threw down my menu. "I love my job more than anything, but lately….I've been wondering what comes next."

Jackson nodded. "I hear you…but do you really think getting married is the answer; I mean, do you want to start a family and all that?"

"No, not even in the slightest. But besides Tanya being Carlisle's niece, being married also has other career benefits."

"Like what?" he asked confused.

"Like stability. Some higher ups and conservative business stiffs like that sort of thing."

"So, first you're getting too old, and now you need to show stability?" he questioned.

"Yes…no; I don't even fucking know anymore," I huffed, and then grabbed his glass that he had been drinking from, and chugged it.

"Hey!" he complained.

"Sorry, the waitress hasn't come around to get me my own yet. I'll get you another." I started looking around for someone to refill his glass and to get me one as well, but they appeared to be understaffed. Finally after another minute, I was able to flag someone down. "He needs a refill, and I'll have one too. You know what, why don't you just bring the entire bottle."

"Of course. I'll be right back with that," the waitress said before hurrying away.

"The entire bottle? Fuck man, I wish I had that kind of money to burn," Jackson said with fake bitterness.

"Well, that's what you get for branching out and opening your own business. I told you that was a dumb decision. A business is like a bottle of wine; it needs to be aged in order to be worth anything."

"I thought you hated everything about wine," he said with a laugh. "Now, here you are, buying bottles and comparing wine to work?"

I shrugged. "See, I'm going mad."

Just then, a kid at the next table threw something at me.

"What the fuck?" I asked angrily. The parents of the kid looked at me appalled by my language, but I really didn't give a shit; they needed to control their fucking child.

"Calm down, Ed," Jackson said quickly, trying to pull my attention back to him. "He's just a kid."

"Yeah, a kid in a restaurant that should only be patronized by adults without children," I said angrily, then turned towards the kid's parents. "Why don't you take him to Chuckie Cheese. No one here wants some little dirty, loud, smelly…."

"Ok, nice talking to you folks," Jackson said quickly, and then pulled my arm up and literally moved me to his seat, and he sat in mine. I was still glaring at the family, but thankfully they soon finished and left.

"You seriously need to calm the fuck down," J said to me sternly.

"Kids don't belong in a place like this," I said defensively. "This is for businessmen and other adults who were smart enough to not procreate, or at least leave them with a fucking sitter."

"Yeah, and its Sunday," he argued. "You know, family day…and no work. Maybe you should take a break and go on vacation or something."

"No, I don't have time for a vacation….Why the hell do you think I'm always going to the clubs."

"Well, that's not relaxing," he argued.

"Yeah, yeah; I'll relax _after_ I retire," I told him.

"You need some fucking balance man, before you have a nervous breakdown. Your life can't be all about work."

"You should talk," I told him with a laugh. "At least I didn't change my fucking name to get a job."

"Come on, would you hire a 'Jasper Whitlock'?" he asked. "I had to change it to 'Jackson Whitman', and guess what, I got hired right after that."

"And then you left and started your own business. I swear, you really should have stayed."

"No, you should have come with me. Maybe with your help, we could have been raking it in by now," he said, trying to give me a fucking guilt trip.

"That's the difference between me and you; I choose to only move forward, and starting completely over, is definitely not moving forward."

"Whatever…but speaking of _not_ moving forward," he said, obviously about to change the subject. "I got a call from someone the other day looking for you," he said unexpectedly.

"Where, at your apartment?" I asked surprised. Jackson was my old college roommate, and after we graduated, we got a crappy apartment together – _why he still lived there, I had no idea_. His business was currently struggling, but he still made enough to afford a better place, especially with his and his wife's combined income.

"Yeah, she said it was the only number she could find for you."

"Well, I guess that would make sense; I haven't been listed since I moved into my condo," I mused. "Well, obviously this person wasn't just some random sales call otherwise you wouldn't mention it, so who was it?"

"Uh, hold on, I took a note…" he reached in his coat pocket, and pulled out a yellow post-it with some illegible writing on it.

I took it from him, and did my best to read his horrible writing. "Tis-er-della Zuon?" I asked confused by the name.

"No, give me that," he said and then grabbed the paper back out of my hands. "Isabella Swan, and she has something of yours that she wanted to send you, but didn't know an address."

_Uh…_

It had been almost a decade since the last time I thought of that name, and as Jackson read the note, I abruptly felt like the room became smaller somehow.

_Why the hell would she be trying to contact me, and why the fuck was it affecting me like that?_

I tugged at my suddenly too tight collar, and then wiped the new beads of sweat off my temple.

"Dude, are you ok?" Jackson asked concerned. "You look like you're about to fucking keel-over."

"Yeah," I croaked, feeling like I had a lump in my throat the size of a fucking baseball. "I'm fine…Did she leave a number, or something?"

"Uh…yeah, right here," he said slowly while looking at me with confused concern.

I looked down at the piece of paper to make sure the number was legible, and when I was convinced I could read it, I shoved it in my pocket and tried like hell to forget about it…_at least until lunch was over_.

When the waitress finally brought the bottle of wine, I waited for her to pour me a glass, and then chugged that down as well.

"Uh, I know you're usually more of a scotch kind of guy, so you probably don't know this, but you're not supposed to drink wine like that," J said, seriously disturbed by my misuse of the wine.

"I don't want to fucking taste the shit," I said carelessly.

Jackson just shook his head at me.

When lunch was finally finished, I went back home, but when I got there, I realized that I hadn't drank enough wine to properly relax me, and I was out of scotch.

"I'm not a fucking alcoholic, I don't need a drink right now," I told myself. I sat down to watch TV, but there was nothing on and I started to get antsy, so I decided to go into the office.

The worst thing about being so fucking good at my job, was that I was ahead of schedule on everything, so there wasn't anything for me to do. I sat in my office and went through some files, but I also had amazing assistants who already had everything done. It was a Sunday, and back in my earlier days in the company, I would often work Sundays to stay on top of things, but now it was fucking pointless.

The little post-it note in my pocket suddenly felt heavy, so I took it out and stared at the number. I didn't want to call her, I didn't want to even think about her, so I crumbled it up and threw it in the trash can… but I missed.

"Damn it!" I yelled. I tried convincing myself to just leave it on the floor for the janitor to pick up, but then my competitive nature came out. I should have been able to make that shot, and I wasn't going to stop until I did.

I picked up the crumbled paper, and took it back to my desk; I threw it again, and again, I missed.

"Fuck! What the hell is wrong with me?" I rolled my chair over to pick it up again, but instead of rolling back to my desk, I decided to throw it from there.

Surely I couldn't miss from that position….except I did.

"You have got to be kidding me," I said and then stared dumbfounded at the piece of paper on the ground in front of me. "There has to be a draft, or something." I looked up and noticed the vent on the ceiling, and figured the air conditioner must have popped on; it was the only explanation for the miss.

I shook my head at myself, and then bent over to pick up the paper one more time, but since it had been thrown around a bit, it had become a little less crunched and I could see the writing again.

"What the hell," I said with a sigh, and then took it back to my desk. I picked up my phone, and dialed the number.

Ring one – "No big deal, I'll just give her my PO Box number so she can send whatever she has of mine," I told myself.

Ring two – "It's been twelve years, I'm sure she's long over everything. This won't be weird."

Ring three – "I'm the fucking CEO of Cullen Enterprises; I can handle my high school girlfriend."

"Hello…." The moment I heard her voice, I hung up the phone.

Yeah, I was a fucking coward.

But after my brief pathetic moment of being a complete pussy, I realized that I absolutely had to call her. I refused to be afraid of anything, and there was nothing to be ashamed of. We grew apart, we became different people, but that didn't mean I couldn't have a conversation with her.

I picked up the phone, and hit the redial button.

Ring one – I was perfectly calm.

Ring two – I really didn't understand why the fuck I was getting nervous.

Ring three – there were no thoughts for how I was feeling, because I really had no idea.

"Hello…" she said, so I decided to speak before I lost my nerve.

"Isabella, it's been a long time," I started to say like a moron, but then I realized it was just her voicemail.

"Leave your name and number, and I'll get back to you as soon as I can," her message said.

I tried not to think about her over the years, but when I did, my memory of her voice didn't do her justice. It hadn't changed, but I had just downplayed the intensity of what it felt like to hear it so much that I had almost forgotten it all together. It was silky, with just the right amount of insecurity to make her not sound conceited. There was always a curious quiet strength to her voice, one that I had once thought I would have a lifetime to figure out…A different lifetime, one that didn't exist in this universe.

I hung up the phone.

"Fuck, the alcohol is finally starting to get to me," I said while shaking my head.

I just needed to get it over with, so I pressed redial one last time, and kept my mind blank so I wouldn't over-think it. I wouldn't even allow myself to listen to her voicemail again; I just held the phone away from my ear until I heard the beep.

"This is Edward Masen; I'm returning your call. My friend said you had something of mine and needed an address to send it to, so here is my P.O. Box number – 555…" I said then thanked her and hung up. It was a very stiff, almost formal message, but I really had no idea what else to say. We weren't friends anymore, we weren't even casual acquaintances, so any other greeting wouldn't be appropriate.

For whatever reason, I decided then to clean up my act. My pathetic behavior since turning thirty was affecting my relationships and my job performance, in fact, I was even annoying the hell out of myself.

I apologized to Tanya for my callous actions towards her, and pretended to be interested in her latest wedding plans. I threw myself back into work, and stayed away from all alcohol; my father was the drunk, not me.

That week, my company had an opportunity to make a huge acquisition, and of course, that meant I was thankfully busy again. In fact, I was the most busy I had been since becoming the CEO, and I knew it was probably one of the most important deals of my career - But then, a week later, there was a knock on my door that would change everything…

"Oh, hey Felix," I said as I invited him in.

"I can't come in sir, I just have a package for you," he said strangely.

"Ok," I said confused, and then took the medium sized box from him. "Thanks."

After Felix left, I went to open the box, but then noticed the note on the outside.

_Mr. Masen,  
>I just swung by the post office, and decided it would<br>be easier to bring this to your condo instead of the office like I normally  
>do with your mail.<br>I hope that's ok, if not, just text me and I'll come back and pick it up.  
>~Gianna <em>

I put my assistant's note aside, and noticed that there was no name above the return address, which I thought was odd.

"It's probably a fucking bomb," I said to myself.

I opened the box, and was perplexed to find a bottle of some sort, wrapped in plastic bubble paper. I unwrapped it, and stared at the label.

"Fork's Own, 2000," I read it out loud.

It was my father's.

"Holy shit," I said quietly. "He did it, he really fucking did it," I said with a laugh.

I hadn't spoken to my father since the month after I left for New York. We had another big blow up, and since I was on the other side of the country, I didn't feel the need to smooth things over. Since then, I figured he screwed up the wine thing one way or another, but to actually see a real bottle, with a real label, full of real wine, was kind of a miracle.

'_Magic vines, my boy,'_ my father used to always tell me; it was his answer for everything that seemed impossible, and when I was younger, I actually believed him. Any trouble we ran into, any time we didn't know how we were going to make it through the week, _or even the day_, he'd always say 'magic vines', and somehow, things always worked themselves out.

But when my mother died suddenly, I was forced to grow up way too soon and those magic vines never produced any magic grapes, so I lost faith. But perhaps he was right, not in the literal sense of the word, but magic none the less. They would have to be for the old man to ever produce decent wine from the damn things.

For the first time, I allowed myself to have a minute of being proud of my old man. He was a serious fuck up, but for once, he actually followed through with something.

After a few more minutes, I put the bottle aside, and began to look through the rest of the items in the box, and was stunned by what was there.

"What the hell?" I said as I pulled out an old ratty sweatshirt. It was mine, and I knew it was mine, but I hadn't seen it in years and had no idea why it was being returned to me. I threw it towards the trash, and then continued looking.

A couple old books, some CDs, even some VHS tapes. It was all worthless old junk, but then something caught my eye - my mother's necklace. As much as I tried not to, my mind immediately jumped into a memory….

"_What is it?" Bella asked me with a heavy smile._

"_Just open it," I said eagerly._

"_Edward, you know I don't want to be celebrated," she complained. _

"_No, you said you didn't want me spending any money, but this was free," I told her with a smile._

"_How was it free?" she asked skeptically. _

"_Because it was my mother's," I murmured as I took the box back from her and opened it myself. "See?" I showed her the necklace, and she just stared at the heart shaped diamond pendant for a moment, and then looked back up at me with tears in her eyes. _

_I draped the chain around her neck, and she held her hair up so I could fasten it in the back. "There," I said as I took a step back to admire it on her. "Now this necklace has been worn by the only two women I'll ever love."_

"_I don't know what to say," she whispered with tears escaping down her cheek. _

"_Don't say anything, just know that I love you, and that won't ever change."_

"_Thank you…so much," she said while wrapping her arms around me._

"_Happy eighteenth birthday," I whispered against her lips._

….

I shook my head to escape the vibrant memory, but I just couldn't erase it. All of my memories of all the items in the box came flooding back, and they each took turns grabbing a hold of me.

My old sweatshirt she always stole from me; the same sweatshirt that she wore home the last night we spent together.

The VHS tapes that I had taken over to watch at her place, because her dad couldn't afford a DVD player.

Our favorite CDs we bought together.

Books from my mother's collection, which Bella had borrowed back in high school and I never even thought about since.

So why was she returning all of them? Why after a dozen years, did she decide _now _was the appropriate time to send all that junk to me? It just didn't make sense.

Every item in the box summed up to one really big memory; a memory of childhood love and innocent intentions. We were so naive back then to think it could last forever. Nothing lasts forever, and I was thankful that I finally grew up and learned that. But that one giant summed up memory, was like a wrecking ball slamming into a damn. That damn burst, and out came a bunch of other memories that were seriously threatening to overflow and drown me.

I needed to find a way to shut off my brain, even for a few hours, because if I didn't, my head was seriously going to fucking explode. I hadn't had a drink since that lunch with Jackson, but I suddenly became desperate and didn't know what else to do.

I went to my liquor cabinet, but it was empty.

Shit.

I went to the fridge and hoped to find some beer, but there wasn't any.

Fuck!

I considered calling down to the lobby to have someone bring something up, but the thought of waiting was excruciating and I really didn't want anyone to see me in that state anyway. But then I remembered my father's wine.

I told myself that I shouldn't open it. I even screamed at myself internally as I shoved the opener into the cork, but ultimately, I just didn't care.

I bypassed the glass, and just chugged it right from the bottle. I drank the entire fucking thing, and I didn't even feel guilty about it. I didn't feel bad about anything right then, because I didn't care about anything anymore.

I got up to go lay in bed, and something made me bring the empty bottle with me. When I got into my room, I tried to set the bottle on my nightstand, but because of the state I was in, I placed it too close to the edge, and it fell over and onto the floor.

I looked down expecting it to shatter on the wood floor, but it didn't, it just bounced once and then started spinning.

"Magic vines," I muttered. "You're not so fucking magic without the wine, are you!" I yelled at the still spinning bottle.

I wasn't sure if it was watching the bottle, or if it was because I was a little tipsy, but I suddenly became more than a little dizzy. I never got dizzy, even when completely wasted, so I was confused but more than anything, I just felt sick.

I laid back on my pillow, used the remote to close the blackout blinds, and then passed out…

* * *

><p><strong>***Uh-oh, something tells me Dorothy might be leaving Kansas. LOL - Edward finds himself in a very peculiar place, coming up next!<strong>

**Please Review!**


	3. In Dreams

**Spinning Bottles**

~Chapter 3 – _In Dreams_~

My fucking head was pounding.

I opened my eyes briefly, only to squeeze them back shut again. It was too fucking bright, and once again, I felt myself getting pissed.

"Close the blinds!" I yelled at Tanya. I had tried to be nice; I even went to the fucking garden where she wanted to have the wedding…but this was something I refused compromise on. I could lie my way through life with her, I could pretend to listen when she spoke and make it seem like I actually cared, but she needed to keep my fucking blinds closed or I was going to have a fucking meltdown.

But she didn't respond, so I yelled again. "I'm not kidding, CLOSE THEM!"

When she still didn't respond, I figured she must have opened them and then left.

Fucking bitch.

It was like she lived to make my life miserable, and I began to wonder how long after the wedding I would have to wait before a divorce would be acceptable. I mean, most businessmen had anywhere between three to five marriages over their life span, so a divorce wouldn't affect my job…would it? Most of the stiffs on the board would surely understand how a wife could be draining; even Carlisle was on his second marriage.

Perhaps I could work a job stability clause into our prenup; make a contract stating Carlisle couldn't force me out due to my failed marriage…but I highly doubted something like that was legal. Perhaps I could just pay her off to tell Carlisle it was her idea to divorce.

Realizing that I was more than likely alone, I decided to get my ass out of bed and into the shower so I could head to work. I opened my eyes and sat up while stretching…

"What the fuck?" I said to myself as I looked around the room.

I wasn't in my condo.

I looked at the strangely decorated room with purple bed sheets, and then I realized I was wearing nothing but my underwear.

"Shit." I must have gotten drunk the night before and went home with a random woman, and now I had no idea where the fuck I was.

The thing was, I didn't remember going home with a woman, and I didn't even remember being out drinking. I thought hard, and the last thing I remembered was being in my condo alone, and drinking my father's wine.

"Stupid fucking wine," I mumbled. The only possible explanation I could think of, was that I must have gone back out and been so fucking drunk that I couldn't remember any of it.

Maybe I was roofied.

I concluded that being drugged was the easiest culprit, so I decided to look around and figure out exactly what type of woman had wronged me.

"She must like purple," I said as I took in the amount of that color there was in the room.

But then I noticed something even more troubling - my underwear wasn't mine. They weren't my expensive soft silk Armani ones that I was sure I had gone to sleep in…they were cotton Wal-Mart brand.

_Uh…? _I had no idea what to even think about that.

I walked to the window and looked out, and was absolutely flabbergasted – it was a fucking vineyard. Rows and rows of fucking vines right outside, and I suddenly felt extremely claustrophobic. Where the hell was I?

Not knowing what else to do, I tried finding my clothes so I could leave as quickly as possible, but I couldn't find them.

And then the door handle started jiggling.

_Crap!_

I ran back to the window and tried to pry the thing open. I didn't even care that I was in nothing but underwear, I needed to escape before whoever the hell was on the other side of the door came in.

But the window was stuck, and I heard the door squeak open behind me.

"What are you doing?" a peculiar voice asked.

I turned slowly to face whoever it was.

"Oh shit!" I yelled, and jumped back into the bed and threw the covers over myself.

Standing there watching me curiously, was a little girl…a little girl who looked entirely amused by my action.

"You cussed," she said with a laugh.

"Uh…Where's your mom?" I asked in almost a panic.

"She's making breakfast. She said I should come in here and wake you up…" she paused to laugh again. "But it looks like you're already awake."

I narrowed my eyes at her. What the hell kind of woman would send their kid into their room to wake up their one night stand? But even worse than that, I knew better than to fuck a single mother; too much baggage, not to mention the fact that giving birth definitely mutilates a woman's vagina…_or so I was told_. What the hell kind of fun could screwing around with a woman like that possibly be? My lack of memory of the event aside, I was a fucking idiot to get myself in that situation.

"Maybe you could go back out to your mom, and let me get dressed," I suggested to the kid.

"Why?" she asked with obvious confusion.

_What the hell was wrong with this kid?_

"Because I'm in my underwear," I told her slowly.

"You always walk around in your underwear," she said strangely.

"Ok…well, thanks for telling me to get up…You can leave now," I told her hoping she would just have mercy on me and go back to wherever she came from. She crossed her arms in front of her, and stared at me in a suspicious way. I raised my brows at her, so finally she huffed and turned before thankfully walking out of the room.

"I need to get out of here," I said quietly to myself.

Since I couldn't find my clothes anywhere, I got desperate and took a chance by looking in the drawers of the dresser; I wasn't past wearing this chick's ex-husband's shit if it got me out of there. Luckily, I found some sweatpants and a shirt easy enough, and I didn't even care that they were cheap and riddled with holes. I just needed to leave.

I got dressed, and tentatively walked out of the room into the hall. I would have just hurried right out of the house, but I had no idea where the hell I was, and I needed whatever stuff I had come with. The woman probably hijacked my clothes, wallet, and keys, just so I wouldn't be able to run away the way she must have known I would have wanted to. But what the hell was she expecting; me to sit there and have breakfast with her and her fucking kid? - No way, not me. I refused to play daddy for anyone.

As I walked towards the smell of omelets cooking, I raked my brain for any kind of memory of this woman's name…or at least what she looked like. Sometimes a woman could look like a fucking nine when you're drunk, but the next morning you realize she was only a six at best, and that was sickening. I already had a fucking headache, I didn't want to barf on top of it.

When I found my way into the kitchen, I had to take a step back and I seriously considered just running for it and forgetting about all my shit. The kid was sitting at the table eating some cereal, and with her was a toddler covered in some kind of goo, and even worse, a teenager wearing headphones and looking through an iPod.

It was my worst fucking nightmare come to life.

The girl I had previously met looked over at me with a smile, so I quickly looked away. I really didn't have the patience to start another conversation with her at the moment.

The woman's back was to me as she was cooking at the stove, so I decided to just bid her adieu and ask for my things.

"Uh, I should really be going," I said awkwardly.

"It's almost done," the woman said in a rush as she darted to the opposite side of the kitchen.

"Are you going to work today?" the little girl asked. The teenager never looked up, but the toddler was babbling incessantly, and if I didn't know any better, I'd swear it was babbling at me.

"Yeah…and I'm going to be late if I stay much longer," I told her, and then turned back towards the woman. "Do you have my keys? Because I can't seem to find them anywhere."

"Edward, I never know where your keys are," she said, and then she turned around.

"Holy Fuck!" I yelled when I looked at the woman's face….It was Bella Swan…or at least, she looked just like her.

Her face dropped into one of disapproval. "Really?" she asked in a scolding tone.

"Daddy cussed again!" the little girl announced.

"Wha…who.." I was in complete shock, and it wasn't even possible to form a complete sentence at that point. I couldn't even form a sensible thought at that point.

"See, you cuss all the time, why the hell do I get punished when I do it?" the teenager jumped in bitterly.

"Fuc. Fuc. fuc," the toddler chanted.

"Nice," the Bella look-a-like said annoyed, and then turned towards the toddler. "We don't say that word," she scolded him gently.

The woman went back to what she was doing, and I just watched her dumbfounded. She looked like Bella – she was exactly like her, except different…older.

I swallowed hard.

"Bella," I said no louder than a whisper.

"It's fine, really. I know you're late and stressing out about this, so we'll all just forget those words," she said, and then turned to the kids. "Right?" she asked all of them.

"It's ok daddy, I won't tell my teacher this time," the little girl said with a wide grin and a failed attempt to wink.

"Daddy?" I managed to mumble. "Why…"

"This is so unfair. Why the hell does he get to say words like that in front of them, but I get my cell phone taken away?" the teenager protested.

"Ok, first of all, he's an adult and can talk any way he wants," the woman said strongly to him. "And second, you didn't get your cell taken away for cussing, you got it taken away for cussing out _your father_. There's a difference."

"How so?" the teen asked like a smartass.

"You know what, I'm really not concerned with your social life. If you want your cell back, I'd suggest you cut the attitude," she told him sternly.

"Fine," the teen said angrily. He stood and then stormed towards the door, but before he walked out, he stopped to tell me something. "You know what, your wife is a real bitch," he said, and then darted out.

Bella looked in the direction he left, and then back at me as if she expected me to do something about it…what, I had no idea. When I didn't move, she huffed loudly, and then went over to clean up the younger kids.

"I really don't know what to do with him," she said frustrated as she wiped the toddler's face. "Nothing is getting through."

"Uh…look, I really have no idea what's going on here," I finally managed to spit out.

"I know, I don't either," she said, misunderstanding my comment. "I guess we just need to keep taking it one day at a time," she took another deep breath. "Ok, well, you better get going. Sorry I didn't have breakfast done in time," she said, and then walked closer to me. "But it's really your fault." She leaned into me and kissed me lightly on the lips, and I was so shocked by the entire thing, that I didn't even have time to react to the surrealistic moment. She pulled back and smiled. "You really were amazing last night," she whispered. "I guess oversleeping is worth it."

She rubbed my stomach softly….just as she had always done when we were together, and then went back to the kids. She pulled the toddler out of the kid seat thingy, and then turned towards the other girl.

"Come on Carlie, we need to get you ready for school," she told her.

"But mom…" she complained.

"Nope, march on to your room; your clothes are laid out on your bed."

"Ok," she said with a sigh. "Bye daddy," she ran over to me and wrapped her little arms around my waist, before running off down the hall.

Bella followed after her with the younger kid in her arms, leaving me baffled, bewildered, and thankfully alone.

"I have to be dreaming," I said to myself. It was the only thing that made sense. But then I heard a car screeching away outside, so I looked out the window just in time to see the teen boy speeding away. "Nope, it's definitely a night terror," I decided.

I shook my head and tried pinching myself awake, but all that resulted in was giving myself a fucking bruise. I walked outside and looked at the massive vineyard stretched out in front of me, and I didn't know what else to do besides scratch my fucking head.

"Where the hell am I?"

Just then, a car pulled up to the house, and the passenger window slowly rolled down.

"Did I just see Alec driving away from here?" the driver asked me.

I bent over to look through the window, and nearly lost it. "Dad?" I asked.

"Who the hell else were you expecting?" he said with a chuckle. "Why aren't you dressed, we're going to be late."

"Uh…"

"Never mind, just get in the car," he instructed, and because I had no idea what else to do, I got in the fucking car. "Oh crap, you don't even have shoes on," he said when I closed the door beside me.

"I…couldn't find them," I said absently.

"Well, it's no wonder," he said casually. "That kid is disrespectful at best, I'm sure he's got you going just plain mad by now. I really don't know how Bella puts up with him."

"Bella?...So that really was Bella back there? Bella Swan?" I asked in a rush.

My father just looked at me, and then busted out laughing. "I would hope so, otherwise you're going to have some serious explaining to do….Although, she probably wouldn't be too happy about you calling her 'Swan'. What, did you guys have some sort of fight, or something?….Oh god, please tell me she's not leaving you."

"What? No…yes…no, I really don't have any idea what you're talking about," I said honestly.

"Well, if you two ever do split, I hate to say it kid, but I'm sticking with her. You know I love you, but that woman is the only reason why any of us are still sane.

"Gee, thanks," I said carelessly.

It was all just some horribly vivid nightmare, I was confident of that fact by then, and I really didn't seem to have a choice but let it play out. Obviously, I was in Washington; the sky was overcast, we were driving through a vineyard, and I was sitting next to my father.

"Where are we going?" I asked him. If I was currently stuck in a dream, then I might as well try to figure out what my subconscious was telling me.

He laughed once. "Are you feeling ok?"

"Yeah, I just…" I turned around to see the little house I had woken up in, disappear. It didn't fade away the way a dream house should have, it just was out of view from the bend in the road we had just taken. It was actually all very realistic for a dream, which was almost fascinating in some odd way.

I could feel the rumble of the car, as well as the bumps of the road under the tires as we went; I could even smell the tobacco on my father's clothes. I rolled down the window, and the wind hit me hard in the face, and my skin stung from the moisture in the air.

It was nothing like any other dream I had ever had before, which worried and intrigued me at the same time.

"The vineyard seems bigger than I remember," I mused as we continued to drive along side of it.

"It's doing good, but it's definitely not our best season," he replied.

That's when I realized that the house I had woken in, the one with Bella and the strange children, was actually the old cottage. When I was a kid, the cottage was a rundown dump. It was the place my father would always disappear to for days on end, just to escape his responsibilities. It was on the other side of the property as the main house, and it seemed as though I was somehow living there with my old girlfriend and some random kids.

It was a fucking trip…literally. I must have been slipped some kind of hallucinogen at some club somewhere, and for whatever reason, my brain was concocting this fucking horrible scenario.

As god was my witness, I'd never enter another fucking club again…I definitely learned my lesson. I only hoped I didn't wake up with some sort of STD as a result.

My father pulled to a stop in front of the fermenting room, and we both got out. I couldn't help but notice the way the sharp sticks and rocks under my bare feet hurt like hell as I walked, but I shrugged it off and tried to not think too far into it.

"They should be here any minute," my father told me.

"Ok," I told him, though I still had no idea what he was talking about.

Just then, two men dressed in business suits, were escorted into the room by a woman who I recognized, but couldn't place.

"Mr. Masen, Mr. Masen," one of the men greeted my father and me with an outstretched hand.

Immediately my business mind switched on, and I stood up straighter before shaking the man's hand.

"Well, this looks like a fine establishment you have here," the man said.

"Thank you," my father said with a wide grin. They went on discussing the different aspects of the winery, and after a more extensive tour which seemed to last a few hours, the men shook our hands again, and left. The entire thing was strange, and left me even more confused than before.

"What the hell was that about?" I asked my father finally.

"What, the investors?" he asked confused.

"Wait, they were here to see about investing in the winery?" I asked slightly impressed.

"Yeah…Are you sure you're ok, son?" he asked concerned.

"Sure, why not," I said with a shrug. I was having the craziest dream imaginable, but besides that, everything was perfectly fine.

"Why don't you go back home for the rest of the day; I'll hold down the fort around here," he said full of worry.

"Ok, why not," I said with a sigh. I turned back to him, and because it had been over a decade since I saw him last, I decided to say goodbye. "It's good to see you," I told him with a slap to his shoulder.

I started walking towards the cottage, but then my dad called after me. "Here, take my car…It's way too far to walk, especially without shoes on."

"Ok great," I said carelessly, and then went back to grab the keys from him. "This has been a blast," I told him before getting in his car, and driving back towards the cottage.

"I'm seriously going fucking insane," I told myself as I drove. But despite my lack of sanity, I realized the reason behind the dream - it was that stupid fucking box of shit Bella had sent me. I had gone to sleep with all that crap on my mind and my father's wine in my system, so that was the reason why I was having the dream. It was all suddenly clear, and I was positive that once the 'day' was over, I'd go to sleep, and wake up back in my New York condo. I just needed to finish the rest of the day.

When I got back to the cottage, I was surprised to see the place empty. I went inside, and strangely realized that I was fucking starving.

_Was it normal to feel hungry in a dream?_ - I shook my head at the thought and figured that since nothing about that particular dream was normal, I wasn't really going to question it. I went to the kitchen and started rummaging through the cabinets, and found a bag of Doritos.

"Fuck, I haven't had Doritos since I was a teenager," I said before opening my childhood favorite junk food. I had refused to touch chips of any kind since moving to New York, because I wouldn't allow myself to eat anything deep fried. That was a childhood indulgence, and I couldn't afford to lose control of my appearance and get fat; so I left Doritos with everything else in my life at that time, in Forks.

But since it was only a dream, and dream food couldn't affect my body, I began eating them.

God, they were so fucking good.

With each chip I crunched into, I began to wonder how the hell I went so long resisting them, and the next thing I knew, I had eaten every last chip.

"Holy fuck," I said as I stared into the pathetically empty bag which was being held by my cheese covered fingers. I took a moment to slightly feel bad about it, but then I shrugged it off.

I wasn't hungry anymore, but since the pantry was full of unhealthy food, and I couldn't really get fat from a dream, I decided to just eat anything and everything else that looked good.

But after a short time, I was really starting to feel sick, so went to go sit in the living room…and felt myself doze off. When I came to, I felt disorientated and once again, found myself back in the same cottage…but I wasn't alone anymore.

"Hey, sleepy head," Bella's musical voice bounced through my head. "How did it go with the investors?" she asked me.

"Huh?" I asked confused, and then tried to refocus back onto the dream I was currently trying to navigate through. "Oh, right, the meeting…with the investors," I remembered. I bent over and rubbed my face aggressively with my hands, and wondered when the hell I was going to wake up for real.

"Oh my god," she said with a laugh.

"What?" I asked, but momentarily got lost in the cadence of her giggles. It was a sound as unforgettable as the waves crashing on the shore, and despite the different paths that true life had taken us, the memory of her laugh was something I'd always take with me for the rest of my days.

"You are a mess," she said. I looked down, and she was absolutely right, I looked like a fucking pig. I was still wearing the sweats and t-shirt I had on since the morning, and I was covered in crumbs and a sticky orange film from the chips. It was absolutely disgusting, and had I been awake in my real life, I would have been appalled by it.

"Yep," I agreed with her comment, and then stood, letting all the garbage and crumbs fall carelessly on the floor.

"Uh…are you going to clean all that up, or were you planning on leaving it for me?" she asked with attitude.

I looked down at the mess, and then back up with her. "It doesn't really matter, everything will disappear soon enough," I told her.

"Oh, right. Maybe the garbage fairy will come take it all while we sleep," she said mockingly.

"Really, you think so?" I asked nonchalantly.

"What's wrong with you?" she asked irritated.

"Nothing…I'm having a wonderful time here in la-la land," I said casually.

"Are you drunk?" she asked bitterly.

"What if I was?" I challenged her.

"Why are you acting like this?" she continued.

"Because I can," I stated.

She stared at me full of resentment, but then the front door swung open and a tornado followed.

"Please wipe your feet," Bella asked the teenager.

"Whatever," he said without pausing as he walked through the house tracking muddy footprints as he went.

"Fine, don't listen to me," Bella told him. "But you won't be getting your cell back until all that mud has been cleaned…and another thing," she walked around him, and grabbed the keys out of his hands. "No more car."

"You can't do that!" he yelled, but Bella refused to respond any further to him, so he stormed off down a hall.

A few minutes later, a woman came to the door and dropped off the two younger kids, and for the next few hours, there wasn't a moment of quiet. Kids were running amuck, the teenager was sulking about, and Bella was moving around as if there was absolutely nothing wrong with the situation. I just sat there and tried like hell to tune it all out, and find a way to wake up.

It had to end sooner or later…_right?_

After some more time passed, it suddenly became quiet again and Bella entered the room looking frazzled.

"Only eight hours before they wake up, and the entire day starts over," she said tiredly as she plopped into the chair next to me.

"Well, I'm going to bed," I said casually.

"It's only nine o'clock," she said incredulously.

"Well, I'm tired," I said unfazed. All I wanted was to go to sleep and wake back up in my condo, and the sooner the better. It had to be the earliest I had gone to bed since elementary school, but I really didn't care.

I headed back to the room I had woken up in, but before I could round the corner, I turned back to Bella. "I have no idea why the hell I'm dreaming of you now, but…it's been….interesting," I told her lightly, and then continued on, leaving her looking just as confused as I felt.

I opened the door to where I thought was the right room – but it wasn't.

"Good night, daddy," a little voice sounded in the darkness.

"Um…ok," I said, having absolutely no idea what the hell else to say. "Go to sleep now," I told the little girl.

"Don't let the bedbugs bite," she added.

"Yep," I told her, before shutting the door and hesitantly opening the door next to it. Thankfully it was the right room, so I crawled into the bed, pulled the covers over my head, and forced myself to sleep….

* * *

><p><strong>***<strong>**A/N****: Much like the previews at the end of weekly TV shows, my post chapter A/Ns (such as this one), may contain little blips of the upcoming chapter. If this bothers you, and you don't want to know anything to come ahead of time, then just don't read anything other than the story. – Thanks**

_***** **__**Coming up in the next chapter**__**: Edward learns he may be in his 'dream' longer than he anticipated, and he must try to fit in as best as possible. He will also learn more about the three kids, and he won't be exactly happy about it. **_

(This is a story about Edward's emotional growth. It's not a spoiler to say that eventually he's going to have a change of heart, because that's basically the plot. And yes, this story will have a happy ending, but getting there will definitely be an emotional ride ;-)

**PLEASE REVIEW!**


	4. Alien

**Spinning Bottles**

~Chapter 4 – _Alien_~

Beep

Beep

Beep

"What the fuck is that?" I asked groggily. My eyes were still heavy with sleep, but the beeping refused to stop.

Beep

Beep

"I got it," a female voice said. I didn't even realize that someone had been lying in bed with me until she spoke, but then she started moving and her thin arm stretched out from under the blanket to hit the alarm clock besides my head.

_Fucking Tanya_ – I thought to myself, but having Tanya there to disrupt my peace would have been too simple, and I wasn't that lucky.

I slowly began blinking away the haze covering my eyes, and that's when I realized that there was a mess of _brown _hair sprawled out across my face and neck…

Obviously, not the very _blonde_ Tanya.

Fuck!

A warm hand began rubbing my stomach softly, and I had to admit, it felt fucking amazing, but I couldn't help but glance up and look at my surroundings.

"Oh shit!" I yelled.

"What?" Bella said concerned as she popped her head out from under the covers.

"No, no, no, no, no," I mumbled as I rolled out of bed. I jumped towards the window and looked out, and to my unsurprising surprise, there was still a huge vineyard there. "Fuck!"

"What's wrong?" Bella asked worriedly.

"I'm still here," I told her.

She laughed once. "Where else would you be?"

I shook my head. "Not here."

"Daddy!" a little voice shouted as the door swung open, and in ran the little girl from before.

"Oh, please help me," I asked towards the ceiling. I wasn't a particularly religious guy, but I figured that if there was a god, he was the only one who could get me out of there.

"Are you taking me to school today?" the little girl asked as she began bouncing on the bed. Bella had disappeared into the bathroom, leaving me helplessly alone with the strange child.

"Uh….look, kid, I have no idea what's going on here," I told her honestly.

"But you always take me to school on Tuesdays," she said disappointedly.

"I do?" I asked confused.

She nodded, and then stared at me intensely for a moment, and I didn't know what else to do but stare back. I tried to break free from her glare, but it was like my line of sight got completely frozen in hers, and I had no idea how to escape it.

"Carlie, go on and get dressed," Bella said as she came out of the bathroom. When the girl still refused to look away from me, Bella took a step closer and said her name again. "Carlie?"

The girl finally turned away, and thankfully allowed me out of her strange daze.

"What mommy?" she asked Bella.

"Wow, what's up with you two?" Bella asked her. "Yesterday daddy was acting all crazy, and now you're zoning out on me?"

"Sorry momma," the girl said distantly. "I'll go get dressed now." She glanced at me one more time, and then slowly walked out of the room.

"That was odd," Bella commented.

"Everything about this place is odd," I told her.

"Um…ok," she said, and went back to getting ready for her day.

I laid back in the bed and began hitting the side of my head, hoping to all things holy that I would snap out of the crazy place I had found myself in, and back into my life…but it was of no use. Ten minutes later, Bella reemerged.

"Edward…."

"Yep," I responded. My name was just about the only thing that made any sense at that point.

"Shouldn't you be getting ready for work?" she asked suggestively.

"I don't know, should I?" I said, refusing to get back up.

"Yes, you should…Are you not feeling well?" she asked. She then walked over to me, and placed her hand gently on my forehead.

"Uh…no, actually," I said, but lost my entire train of thought because all I could focus on was the way her hand felt against my skin. She moved it to my right cheek, then the left, and then back to my forehead. Her face was within inches of mine, and as her breath washed over me, I momentarily forget everything else. For a moment I was eighteen again, and wanting nothing more than to grab her and hold her against me and never let go….But it only lasted a moment, and then the moment passed.

"You don't feel hot," she said still concerned.

"No, I'm fine," I told her, and pushed her hand away from my face, before sitting up.

"Okay…. Oh, Em called, he needs you to close today," she informed me.

"Who's Em?" I asked with a sigh.

"Em…as in _Emmett_," she said slowly.

"Emmett McCarty?" I asked curiously. My childhood best friend was just about the only 'Emmett' I had ever met, so I assumed that was who she was talking about.

"Edward, maybe you should go see the doctor today," she said gently.

"No, no, I'm fine," I told her. I got up and headed into the bathroom, and tried to figure out what I needed to do in order to get ready for the day. If there was anything worse than having a strangely realistic nightmare, it was going to see a doctor, and I always did whatever possible to avoid them. I had no idea why the hell I was still dreaming, but I figured that it was probably best to play along. Who knew how long the dream was going to last for, so I might as well make the best of it.

Having no idea what the hell I was supposed to be dressing for, I decided to play it safe and put on a suit…except, I didn't have one. It seemed as though I owned a ton of t-shirts in an array of colors, some sweaters, and a few casual button downs, but nothing nicer than that.

"I get it," I said to myself as I pulled out the third pair of holy pants that I found. "I must have had alcohol poisoning, and now, I'm in hell."

I shook my head at the thought, and then reluctantly put the horribly cheap clothes on, before grabbing the equally tacky shoes, and heading towards the living room.

"Hey, Carlie said you weren't taking her to school this morning?" Bella questioned me. I noticed that she was dressed in what looked like a polyester skirt business suit, which I thought was odd. - _What the hell did she do for a living?_

"Uh…I didn't think that I was," I said quietly.

"You always take her on Tuesdays," Bella informed me.

"Right, that's what she said," I told her.

Bella narrowed her eyes at me. "If you need me to take her today, then I will."

Something made me glance at the little girl, and she deliberately but subtly shook her head no. I had no idea why, but I turned back to Bella, and said – "No, I'll take her."

"Are you sure?" she asked me.

"I always take her, don't I?" I said with more attitude than I intended.

"OK, great," she said, dismissing my sour tone. She then went over and kissed the girl on the head, before turning to the toddler sitting in the living room, and kissing him as well. "Have a good day," she told them, and then turned and left.

I stared at the toddler for a minute, and then it hit me – "Wait, I'm supposed to take him somewhere too?" I asked in a panic.

I ran to tell Bella to take her kids herself, but I was too late, and she was driving away.

"Fuck!" I yelled.

"My daddy doesn't cuss like that," the little girl said from behind me.

I turned slowly around and just stared at her blankly for a minute. _Did she just refer to her father as someone other than me?_

"Your daddy doesn't cuss?" I asked her.

She shook her head no.

"And who is your daddy?" I asked slowly. Despite the fact that I never liked kids, and even though the little girl wasn't real, I still didn't want to freak her out by telling her I wasn't her dad if that was who she thought I was.

She turned around, and went back into the house, so I followed her. She continued walking down the hall, and then stopped and pointed at the wall. "That's my daddy," she said quietly.

I didn't even notice the pictures hanging in the hall before, but when I looked at them, my heart just about leaped into my throat. There was a wedding picture of Bella, and she was standing with a guy that looked a whole hell of a lot like me. Beside that picture, was a bunch others of the family; most of which had me in them as well.

I already assumed I was dreaming, but actually seeing pictures of me in a life that didn't exist, was definitely a trip.

"Where did my daddy go?" the little girl asked me.

"Uh…I guess I am him," I told her, having no idea what the hell else to say.

She shook her head no.

"Yeah, I guess I have been acting strange yesterday and today, right?" I asked as nicely as I was capable of. I really didn't know how to talk to a kid, but she seemed pretty upset, so I was just trying to calm her.

"Are you an alien?" she asked me unexpectedly. "My friend Claire said that sometimes aliens come and take over people's bodies so they can study the way humans live."

"Uh…why do you think I'm one of those?" I asked curiously.

"Because I know you're not my dad," she said sadly.

"And how do you know that?" I asked.

"Because you don't remember anything."

"Well, maybe I just hit my head and having trouble thinking clearly," I told her.

She shook her head again. "No, his eyes are different."

"Really?" I asked puzzled. I looked back at the pictures, and saw that there was absolutely nothing different about that me, and 'me' me. "Nope, we're the same. See, we both have green eyes," I told her.

But she shook her head again. "It's not the color that's different."

"Ok, then what's different?" I asked, actually hoping that she knew something real and would cue me in on it.

"I don't know what it's called, but it's something behind your eyes….they don't sparkle the way his did."

"His eyes sparkled, huh?" I said with a sigh.

"Yeah, so are you an alien? It's ok, you can tell me, I can keep a secret…as long as you don't try to eat me or anything."

I couldn't help but crack a smile at her; either she was smarter than her years, or certifiably crazy. "Um…yeah, I'm an alien. You caught me…but, you can't tell anyone. Ok?"

"Where is my dad?" she asked protectively.

"Uh…he's back on my planet, we just changed places for a short time. But I promise, as soon as I'm done here, you'll have him back," I told her. I really didn't know why I went along with the alien thing, but something told me it would just be easier that way.

"Do you promise?" she asked intensely.

"Yes, I promise," I told her.

"And you're not going to hurt anyone?" she asked strongly.

"No, you can trust me."

She stared at me for a minute, and then nodded. "Ok, then I guess you're going to need my help then, right?"

"That would be wonderful," I told her thankfully. I could use all the help I could get.

"Ok…first, you need to take Anthony to daycare, and then drive me to school," she explained.

"Right…and Anthony is the baby?" I asked her.

"He's not a baby, he's fourteen months," she said as matter of fact.

"Ok, so Anthony is that one," I said pointing at the toddler. "And you're Claire?" I asked apologetically.

"No, my name is Car-lie. Claire is my best friend," she informed me.

"Carlie, huh? Where did a name like that come from?" I asked her curiously.

"It's like my grandpa Charlie," she said with a smile. "He died before I was born."

"Oh…really?" I asked stunned. "Well…that…sucks," I said regretfully. I never really liked Bella's dad, but hearing that he had died actually hit hard for some reason. "How old are you anyway?" I asked her.

"I'm six, and I'm in Mrs. Amun's first grade class at Forks Elementary," she said proudly.

"You have Mrs. Amun?" I asked disturbed. "She was my first grade teacher also."

"How? Do they have a Mrs. Amun double on your planet too?" she asked suspiciously.

"Um…Yes," I told her.

"That's so weird," she stated. "We better be going before I'm late."

"Ok," I walked towards the door, and held it open while waiting for Carlie to get her things.

"You have to get Anthony. He won't walk out by himself," Carlie told me.

"Why not?" I asked becoming slightly anxious.

"Because he won't," she said simply.

"Ok," I huffed and then walked towards the toddler. "Ok, kid, time to go."

"No go," he said, and then got up and ran down the hall.

"What the hell?" I said frustrated.

"See what I mean?" Carlie asked with a giggle.

"What do I do?"

"Chase him."

"Right," I said, and ran down the hall after the kid. He was standing in a doorway, so I bent over to grab him, but then he slammed the door onto my head. "Shit!" I yelled.

"Shit, shit, shit," the toddler began chanting from the other side of the door.

"No, don't say that!" I opened the door and found him smiling at me, and still repeating the word. "Stop saying that!" I yelled at him.

Immediately, his face dropped, and he started wailing.

"Oh crap, no, don't do that…shit," I said, but the kid wouldn't stop crying. Once again, I had no idea what to do, so I reached down and picked the kid up under his arms, and ran with him out to the car.

"You have to put him in the car seat," Carlie told me.

I did as she said, and then stared at all the straps wondering how the hell I was supposed to know what went where.

"Here," Carlie said. She unbuckled her seatbelt, and scooted out of her chair, and then showed me where everything went. All the while, the toddler wouldn't stop screaming.

"How do I make him stop?" I asked Carlie.

"Here, give him this," she said while digging in the mess on the car floor. She pulled out a pacifier, and shoved it in his mouth.

"Great…thanks," I said to her, grateful for the quiet.

Carlie told me that the daycare was around the corner from her school, so after finding it and dropping off the toddler, I drove her to the school.

"Pick me up at three, and then you can pick up Anthony after that," she told me slowly.

"Three…right," I said with a nod. She got out of the car and went to shut it, but then I called after her. "Hey Carlie?"

"Yeah?"

"Where do I go now?" I asked her.

"McCarty Garage," she said with a smile, and then she shut the door and skipped off.

"McCarty's Garage…of course," I said and then let out a loud huff.

McCarty's Garage had been in Forks for as long as I could remember, and I always feared that one day I'd get stuck working there. It was owned by my friend Emmett's father, and he and I had always complained about the fact that both of our fathers wanted us to take over the family businesses, and it seemed like in this nightmare, our fears were realized. Why I was stuck working at both the vineyard _and_ the garage, I had no idea.

As I drove down the familiar roads of down town Forks, I began to remember exactly why I had left it all those years ago – the place was a dump. The same old buildings, full of the same old people. Nothing was different than how I left it twelve years prior, but then again, since it was all just a dream, I guess nothing could really change.

I pulled into the McCarty Garage parking lot, and turned off the car.

"Shit, why am I even doing this?" I asked myself out lout. I leaned my head against the steering wheel, and actually banged it there three times.

I just wanted to wake the fuck up.

And then, there was knocking on my window.

I looked over and saw a man standing there waving with a huge cheesy grin.

"Holy fuck," I muttered to myself. He made a turning gesture with his hand, so I reluctantly rolled down my window. "Hey…Emmett," I said with almost a whine.

"Hey bro. Why the hell are you sitting in the car?" he asked entirely amused, and way too happy.

"Emmett, let me ask you something," I said to him. "Why the hell do we work here?"

He laughed. "It beats working at Taco Bell….'course, I do miss all those free burritos we used to get."

I nodded. "Free burritos were always good," I said remembering our time working at the fast food joint when we were in high school.

"Bella mentioned that you've been having a rough couple of days… So, the meeting with the investors didn't go to well, huh?"

"When the hell did you talk to Bella?" I asked him, slightly resentful and not really knowing why.

"This morning…on the phone…when I called to ask if you could close today," he said slowly, and then he laughed again, but this time, it had less humor to it. "Jeeze man, you sound paranoid like I'm going behind your back or something."

"Nah, you wouldn't do that, because you know I'd kill you," I said seriously.

He laughed again. "Yeah…right," he said, sounding unsure if we were joking or not.

It was funny to me that I almost seemed a little possessive of Bella, even though I really had no reason to be. She wasn't real, and I wasn't really married to her, and everything would all disappear soon enough.

"I guess we should get to work," Em said while opening the car door for me.

The next few hours went slow, and even though it was mindless mundane work, I still found myself getting confused as to what exactly I was supposed to be doing. First I didn't ring up a customer right, and then I neglected to check the oil on someone else's car. For the most part it was all shit I had been doing since I was a kid, but figuring out the business side of it was surprisingly more complicated for me.

"Dude, what the hell is going on with you?" Em asked me at lunch.

"You know, people keep asking me that, and I keep giving them the same answer – _I have no fucking clue_."

"Well, whatever it is, you know you can tell me about it, right? I mean, sometimes we go through crap that we can't even talk to our wives about, and that's why we have each other…You know what I mean?" he said.

"Yeah…well, if I have anything like that, I'll tell you," I assured him.

"Ok," he said. "More importantly, I hope your wrist is feeling better, cause we really need your strikes tomorrow for league."

"Huh?" I asked confused. It was like he was speaking a different language, and I had no idea what the hell it was.

"Bowling. You hurt your wrist last week and our team can't afford for you to sit out, so I hope you're back to normal by tomorrow night."

"Let me get this straight…we are part of a _bowling_ league?" I asked incredulously. "Us, as in you and _me_?"

"Uh.." he said baffled. "Yeah."

"Fuck man!" I shouted. "How lame can someone be? We used to be fucking cool, we used to rule this fucking town, what the hell happened to us?"

"Uh…Bowling is fun," he said confused but unwilling to push his questions onto me.

"Fun? FUN? Man, going to night clubs in New York _is fun_. Making a shitload of money _is fun_. Drinking until you're so drunk that you can't even think straight _is fun_; going home with a different chick every night _is fun_. Bowling is NOT fun!"

"Well, the money part would be nice, but everything else you just said seems…_lonely_ in a way. I don't know, maybe I am lame, but I'm happy I have a family to go home to every night. I like stability, you know?"

I stared at him for a moment and really thought about what he was saying, but then shook my head. "No, you only think that because you've never experienced what it was like to be a rich bachelor in the city."

"Are you having some sort of pre-mid-life crises, or something? Oh, I get it," he said with a chuckle.

"Get what?" I asked.

"You just turned thirty, and now you're freaking out about it. Fucking dork. It's really not that bad."

"Did you just call me a _dork_?" I asked incredulously. "What, are you a fucking child, or did your brain just stop developing when you were ten?"

"If my brain did stop developing at ten, then I'm sure it was _your_ fault. Every time I got in trouble or hurt in any way, it has always been a result of one of your harebrain ideas. Fuck man, no wonder why Alec is so screwed up; having you as a role model would fuck up any teenager." Emmett spoke like he was joking, but I didn't take it that way. I was pissed, and yet again, I really had no idea why.

"Man, I don't need this shit," I said bitterly, and then got up and walked out towards the parking lot.

"Where the hell are you going?" Emmett called after me.

"Anywhere but here," I replied.

"You were supposed to close for me!" he shouted.

"I'm sure you'll manage," I told him carelessly before getting in my car, and driving down the street.

"Fuck why am I here?" I asked myself. "Is this some kind of learning…thing? What the hell am I supposed to learn from all this shit?"

I drove around for a few hours and just relearned the town, but nothing was different. I passed by several more people I remembered from before, and they were all the same…except older. It was all surreal and yet, it strangely felt very real at the same time. But the less dreamlike my time there felt, the more I wondered what the hell happened to put me in that situation.

After driving the entire length of the town for the fifth time, I decided to finally drive home. On my way however, I passed by a big yellow school bus, and realized that I had forgotten something.

"Crap!" I shouted while punching the steering wheel.

I forgot to pick up Carlie.

I was supposed to be at her school by three. She told me that fact more than once, and I completely forgot. It was only three thirty, but I knew better than to be late for any meeting. But even more importantly, I knew what it felt like to be waiting at school when all my friends had already left for the day. My father always forgot to pick me up, and I hated the fact that I had done the same…even if it was only in my dream.

I sped to the school, and saw Carlie sitting patiently on the steps with a teacher. I practically jumped out, and ran over to her.

"Sorry," I said quickly. "Sorry," I added to the teacher standing with her.

The woman seemed annoyed, but otherwise unaffected by my apology. I picked up Carlie's backpack, and then walked her to the car. After helping her in, I began apologizing again.

"I'm really sorry Carlie," I told her.

"It's ok," she said with a shrug. "My daddy is never late to pick me up, but I guess it would be hard for any alien to compete with a perfect dad like him."

"Yeah, I guess." I said. I got back into the car, and couldn't help but glance back at her in my rear view mirror. She looked up at me and smiled, and then went back to looking out the window. "I won't be late again," I told her.

"Ok," she said.

I swung by the daycare center and picked up the toddler, and then headed back to the cottage. Thankfully, both kids were quiet for the trip, but when I pulled onto the property, I knew the peace was over.

The teen boy was just arriving from wherever he came from, and he turned to glare at me. I didn't know him, or who exactly he was to me, but I knew that look. I used to give my old man that exact same look when I was pissed at him for something, and I was sure the next few hours were definitely going to be hell.

* * *

><p><strong>****<strong>_**Coming up next**_**: More about the teen, bowling, and a frisky Bella ;)**

**Please Review**


	5. Problems

**Spinning Bottles**

~Chapter 5 – _Problems_~

_The teen boy was just arriving from wherever he came from, and he turned to glare at me. I didn't know him, or who exactly he was to me, but I knew that look. I used to give my old man that exact same look when I was pissed at him for something, and I was sure the next few hours were definitely going to be hell…._

"What the hell is wrong with him?" I asked Carlie as I helped her out of the car.

"That's Alec…he's a problem," she said casually.

"A problem?" I laughed. "What does that mean?" Obviously Carlie had picked up on some of the comments the adults around her had made towards the teen, but it was definitely amusing.

"He has issues, but it's just because he feels lost…at least that's what mom says. But I think she's a little crazy, how could he be lost when he's right there?" she said.

"Um… I have no idea," I told her honestly. "So, he's your…_brother_?" I asked curiously. Throughout my day of work, I had to write the date several times on different forms, therefore I knew the current time of the dream world was consistent with reality, so I really didn't understand how I could possibly have a kid old enough to drive; but then again, nothing made sense there so I suppose anything was possible.

"No, he's not _my _brother," she said strangely, but then the toddler started crying.

"What's wrong with him now?" I asked frustrated, but this time Carlie just shrugged. "Ok, just go into the house," I told her. I went around the car to get the toddler, but it quickly became clear why he was screaming…The kid shit all over himself. "What the fuck?"

I just stared at the horrific scene in front of me, and then closed my eyes tightly hoping more than ever that I would just wake up and be done with the dreadful place. But when I opened my eyes again, I was still there.

"FUCK!" I yelled, which only made the toddler scream even louder. For a moment I wondered what would happen if I just left the kid in the car; he wasn't real, so it wouldn't really affect anyone, but then I huffed. "Just get it done Masen," I told myself, so I took a deep breath, and then grabbed the kid under his arms, and ran with him into the house.

"What the hell are you doing?" the teen asked me full of attitude.

"Just go and start a bath," I told him in a rush.

"No, why should I…" he protested, but I cut him off.

"I don't give a shit about any of your sullen overly dramatic bullshit issues! I need you to go in there, and turn on the bath before I take this poop covered kid and dump him on your bed."

"I hate you," he said sourly.

"Good, do it anyway," I told him.

The teen stormed towards the bathroom, and then I heard the sound of the water running. I stood in the hall waiting for him to finish, all the while I was holding the toddler straight out, careful not to let any of his shit touch me or anything else, but my arms were getting fucking tired.

"Hurry the hell up!" I shouted through the door.

"There!" the teen said as he came out, and then he sulked past me without looking up, and slammed his bedroom door shut behind him.

_Stupid fucking teenager._

I plopped the toddler in the running water, and didn't even bother getting him undressed first. But the kid only screamed louder.

"Stop crying. Fuck!" I yelled at him, but then the water came in contact with my hand, and I realized it was freezing.

_Stupid fucking teenager._

I warmed up the water, and the kid finally calmed down a bit, but then I was stuck with a toddler in wet clothes, sitting in brown poop water.

But like a beacon of light, Carlie once again, came to my rescue.

"Mom doesn't put the plug in when she's washing the poop off," Carlie said from behind me.

"Wait, this happens a lot?" I asked perturbed.

"It's a learning curb," she said seriously.

"Learning curb? Wait, you mean learning _curve_?" I asked astonished. "Where do you come up with this stuff?" Carlie seemed to have a remarkably high vocabulary for a six year old, but with her not being real and all, I guess that didn't mean much.

"I'm almost seven," she explained.

"Right."

I pulled out the bath plug, and let the poop water go down the drain while Carlie grabbed a plastic cup and began pouring the water from the spout onto the toddler. I somehow managed to get the clothes off the kid, and then Carlie squirted some soap on his butt.

"Now what?" I asked uncomfortably.

"You have to rub the soap in," she informed me.

I looked at the kids butt, and then back at her. "No way, you do it."

"No, I'm a kid, it's _your _job to clean poop," she argued.

"But aliens don't poop like this, so I don't know how," I told her. I knew it was wrong to play the 'alien' card on her, but I was desperate.

She shrugged. "It's a learning curb," she said casually.

"Fine," I relented. I took a deep breath, then closed my eyes and quickly rubbed the soap into the kid's lower back and butt. It had to be the single most disgusting thing I had ever done.

When that horrifying event was done, the kid wore himself out from crying, so he thankfully fell asleep. I knew how he felt, I was fucking exhausted - but I didn't have the luxury of resting…

"I need you to sign this," the teen came out of his room and said.

"What the hell is it?" I asked suspiciously.

"It's a note from my teacher saying how _wonderful _I'm doing in class," he said mockingly.

"I'm sure," I said sarcastically. I read the paper, and it basically said that the kid was failing his English class. "Uh…does your mom know about this?" I asked him without really thinking.

He laughed once humorlessly. "Yeah, I bet she's so excited that she fucking died laughing."

I glanced over at Carlie, who was coloring at the kitchen table, and she was shaking her head 'no'. Obviously, I said something wrong.

"Look, why don't you tell me why you're failing," I told him.

"Like you give a shit," he mumbled.

"You're right, I don't," I told him carelessly. He looked at me shocked by my words, but it was the truth, I didn't care about any ridiculous excuse he could come up with. He was a teenager, and all teens thought their insignificant problems meant the end of the world, and I didn't feel like messing with it. He just needed to grow up and get over himself.

I signed the paper, and then handed it back to him.

"God, I can't wait until I save enough money to get out of here," he mumbled.

"That makes two of us," I replied.

"I hate you!" he shouted at me.

"Good, the feeling is mutual," I told him evenly.

"You're a fucking bastard!" he yelled.

"Yep," I said as I sat on the couch and started flipping through the TV channels.

He kept throwing insults at me, and the less I cared, the angrier he became. After a minute, he erupted and picked up a picture on the end table, and chucked it across the room…but I still refused to react. Eventually he must have gotten bored with his tantrum, so he went back to his room and started blasting his radio….and thus waking the toddler…FUCK!

"I still need help with my homework," Carlie said with an apologetic smile.

"Of course you do," I said frustrated. "Where the hell is your mom?"

She shrugged, so I huffed.

I put the toddler on the floor in front of the TV and found some sort of cartoon on for him to watch, and then I sat with Carlie and did homework…which was surprisingly difficult for first grade. When that was finished, Carlie informed me that she was hungry and it was dinner time.

I wasn't a cook, and I would have just ordered a pizza, but I didn't know where any money was, so I settled for some canned stuff I found in the pantry.

Three hours later, all the kids were quiet and in bed, and I found myself passing out on the couch, but then Bella finally walked in the door.

"Where the fuck have you been?" I asked her irately.

"Uh…work," she said slowly, like I was supposed to know that shit.

"Until eight pm?" I questioned skeptically.

"Edward, I left three messages on your cell. You know I'm in the middle of a big story right now," she said tiredly.

"Well, I don't' know where my cell is….and what the hell kind of big story could you possibly be working on anyway?" I asked.

"Just because it's the Forks Daily, doesn't mean that a story can't be big," she said defensively.

"You work at the Forks Daily?" I asked. "That lame newspaper that no one reads?"

She shook her head at me bitterly, and then walked towards the kitchen, but she was only in there for a minute before returning to bitch at me.

"Did you forget to clean up?" she asked.

"You have got to be kidding me. I just had the worst fucking day imaginable, and now you're complaining about me not cleaning the fucking kitchen?"

"Ok, why was your day so bad?" she asked condescendingly.

"First I had to drop the kids off, then I had to go to work, and then I had to pick the kids up," I said heatedly. She stared at me like I was a fucking moron, and I guess the things I described didn't seem all that awful. "But that was just the beginning," I added. "The toddler shit all over himself so I had to bathe him, the teenager kept cussing at me, I had to help Carlie with her homework, AND make dinner!"

She crossed her arms in front of her, and waited.

"What?" I asked her, unsure what her issue still was.

"I'm waiting for the part that would make it your _'worst day imaginable'_."

"Whatever," I said bitterly, and then I went back to watching TV.

…..

The next morning, I woke up on the couch…and still stuck in my fucking nightmare. Bella began breezing around the house getting ready for her day, but she refused to speak to me – not that I cared. The teen stormed out at some point, and Carlie managed to quickly explain that I was supposed to go back to McCarty's Garage, before Bella took her and the toddler to school and daycare.

I had no plans to go back to work that day, but after sitting there alone for over an hour, I got antsy and decided to go into the garage after all. Anything was better than just sitting there obsessing over ways to wake up.

"Hey man," Emmett greeted me quietly. "Sorry about yesterday…I didn't mean to say that shit to you."

"It's fine," I said dismissively.

"You know, I've just been so stressed about this adoption thing; Rose and I have been fighting a lot, and we're both just so frustrated. I guess deep down I'm worried that we're making a mistake. I see all the problems you have with Alec, and…I'm just scared shitless."

"Right…well…I'm sure everything will be fine," I told him. I really wasn't sure what the hell he was talking about, but he seemed pretty intense with it, so I decided to just play along and pretend to be supportive.

We got to work, but after a few hours, Emmett started bombarding me with questions that I had no way of knowing the answers to.

"So, when you had all those child welfare issues with Alec, did you feel like they were giving you the run-around a bit?"

"Uh…you mean…what do you mean?" I asked confused.

"Well, when you were adopting him, the child welfare made it really hard, right?" he asked.

"Why the hell would I adopt a teenager?" I asked without thinking.

"Um…maybe we should talk about this later," he said hesitantly. "You sure you're feeling ok?"

"No…I've had a freaking migraine for three days straight. Listen, can you just tell me the story about Alec; how the hell did he come about living with me?" I asked.

Emmett looked at me full of worry. "Your dad couldn't take him because of his legal problems, so you adopted him instead."

"Why would my dad have taken him?" I asked puzzled.

"Well, he is his father," he said, shocking the hell out of me.

"His father? How the hell is my dad that kid's father?"

"Man, you really are out of it, aren't you? Your dad met his mom at a bar a few months after your mom died…They had a one night stand," he said slowly, thinking I would remember. "Ten years ago you and your dad found out about him when his mom died in a car accident, and he was going to go into the system because your dad had been in and out of jail, so you stepped up and adopted him yourself…well, you and Bella. That's why you guys got married right then, so it would be easier to get custody of him."

"Hold on…Bella and I got married at twenty years old so we could adopt some illegitimate kid of my father's?" I asked incredulously.

"Yeah, you were both going to college, but you had to drop out to take care of him."

"Wonderful, so all my dreams of becoming a businessman went out the window because my father's drunken ass. I can't believe I would leave New York for that."

"New York? Man, you never went to New York. You and Bella decided to go to college together here."

"What?" I asked dumbfounded.

"Yeah man, you got all the way to the airport to fly to New York, but then you couldn't do it, and came back home. I thought you were nuts…giving up a scholarship like that for your girlfriend, but then you made me see the other side of it."

"What other side?" I asked appalled. "There is _no_ other side. No life with stinky smelly kids, living in some dump, and working at a garage could be better than being a businessman in New York."

"Well, that's what I thought…until I met Rose. Now, I couldn't imagine life without her. We've had our ups and downs, but…nothing can compare to the ups with her."

I shook my head and went back to work, but if I was in my real life, I would have been absolutely livid. I always knew my father was a drunken moron, but for him to knock up some chick, then not even know about it until that chick died leaving her kid alone, was absolutely despicable. But even worse than that, him just 'letting' me take responsibility for his moronic actions, just proved what I always knew; the guy was a fucking douche.

The rest of the day went just as slow as the one before, except instead of being forced to take care of the kids that evening, I was forced to go bowling.

_Fucking bowling!_

"So…you're not going?" I asked Bella while she cooked dinner.

"Why would I go?" she asked confused.

"Well, why the hell do I have to go if you're not?" I complained.

"You're on a team with your friends; besides, who would watch the kids if I went?"

"Oh, I don't know, a sitter?" I said sourly.

"Finding a sitter on a Wednesday night isn't the easiest thing to do," she said, and then went back to cooking.

"Well, I suppose getting away from here for the evening can't be a bad thing," I said with a huff.

I put on my tacky bowling shirt, and then drove myself to the alley.

_Fucking bowling._

"Hey, hey, there he is," Emmett said when he saw me. He was sitting at a lane with two other guys who I recognized from high school. Mike Newton and Eric Yorkie; both were fucking geeks.

"Yep, I'm here, you can all relax," I said annoyed.

I took my turn, and did absolutely horrible. A gutter ball, followed by only one pin down. I probably could have done better if I wanted, but I just didn't care enough to try. All of my turns went that way, which didn't bother me one bit. My teammates seemed surprised, but like a bunch of idiots, they were supportive and told me 'better luck next time.'

Because of my poor bowling performance, my team unsurprisingly had the lowest score of the night, and considering that we were up against a group called 'Big Mommas', that was pretty pathetic.

Even though I was having a miserable time, I decided to join my team at the lounge and have a few drinks before heading home. Anything was better than being at the cottage with all those loud kids and Bella nagging me. But after sitting at a table listening to the guys talking about their pathetic lives, I decided I had enough and went to sit at the bar alone to enjoy my imaginary beer in peace.

"Hey stranger," a woman said as she came and sat next to me.

I nodded a hello to her, but otherwise tried to ignore her presence… I only wished she would leave me alone.

"I called the garage to try and set up _a meeting_, but the receptionist said you were all booked," she said as she leaned closer into me. I really had no idea what the hell kind of meeting this woman could possibly have with a garage, appointments yes, not 'meetings', but I didn't care enough to ask either.

"Yeah…works been pretty busy. No time for meetings," I said uncomfortably.

The woman then scooted so close to me, that her breath washed down my neck and gave me the willies.

"Well, I really need my radiator flushed, but I'll only allow _you_ to do it. Perhaps we can arrange a time when the shop's closed so that you can concentrate solely on my _needs_," she said while walking her fingers down my shoulder. Because I was a fucking idiot, I didn't realize until right then that the chick was actually hitting on me. I turned to look at her in the face, and she smiled and whispered- "A soon as possible. My radiator is in _aching_ need or a little TLC."

I was in no mood to flirt, but I had to admit, the woman was fucking hot. Flaming red hair, her breasts hanging out of her shirt, and a skirt so tight that it was no secret that she wasn't wearing anything under. I'd have to be a pussy to pass that up, and from the way she was talking, I had probably taken advantage of her advancements in the past.

"As soon as possible, indeed," I told her suggestively.

She smiled at me, obviously pleased. "Jimmy won't be home tonight."

"Too bad for him," I said with a nod.

"I'm heading home now….You're really coming?" she asked suddenly sounding unsure.

"When do I ever pass on that?" I asked with a smile of anticipation…but she looked confused.

"Um, right…well, I'll meet you there….You're serious?" she asked again.

"Yeah, can't wait," I told her.

"Great," she said and then took off towards the parking lot.

I had no idea what the chicks name was or where she lived, but the idea of getting a blowjob to ease some stress was definitely appealing. But I needed some help, so I went to pull Emmett aside.

"Did you see the red head I was just talking to?" I asked him.

"Who, Vicky?" he asked confused.

"Is that her name? Whatever, listen, I need her address."

"What for?" he asked, sounding disturbed.

"What the hell do you think for? The chick is alone tonight, and she's fucking horny."

Emmett stared perplexed for a moment, almost as though I was speaking a different language. "What the hell are you talking about?" he asked angrily. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Everything is wrong with me, so I might as well make the best out of this situation and get something out of it."

"Man, you can't be serious. You can't cheat on _Bella_."

"I'm dead serious, and if you won't give me Vicky's address, then I'll go ask Mike," I told him. He just stared at me again, so I headed towards Mike, but Emmett grabbed my arm and dragged me out of the bar.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I yelled at him when we got to the parking lot.

"No, what the fuck are _you_ doing? You can't cheat on Bella!" he yelled at me.

"And why the fuck not?" I yelled back.

A group of people walked out of the bar, so Emmett stepped closer to me and lowered his voice. "Because it's Bella, man. You guys are '_Edward and Bella'_. I have never seen anyone look at someone else the way you look at her…Seeing you two together is what convinced me that being married is what I wanted…You're 'Edward and Bella'. If you two don't make it, then there's no hope for the rest of us."

"Emmett, let me cue you in on a little secret…it's all fake. Everything about my marriage…well, _my life_, it's fake. None of it is real, so me having a little fun with Vicky, won't matter."

"Look, whatever you're going through, whatever problems you and Bella might be having, it's not worth throwing it all away on a fling with that Vicky skank," Emmett tried convincing me.

"You have no idea what you're talking about, and it's none of your fucking business anyway" I said heatedly. "If you won't help me, then I'll go in there and ask someone else."

"I can't let you do that, bro. Those guys will start talking about it, and then it'll get back to Bella. This is a small town, those types of things never stay quiet. Now, I'm telling this to you as a friend…Don't do it, or I'll have to kick your ass."

I laughed. "You're going to kick my ass for fucking some chick?"

"Bella is one of Rose's best friends, and once it gets out, _because it will get out_, I'm going to have to take their side. You're my best friend and I love you like a brother, but what you're planning to do is wrong."

"Well, I've already done it," I told him. "The chick made it clear that it wasn't our first time between the sheets. So give me your best shot," I said, daring him to punch me.

"Man, you've never fucked her," he said assuredly. "You've joked about it before, but you never actually did it. Hell, even Bella knows that bitch wants in your pants, so you tease her about it and we all think it's funny."

"Why the hell would she talk to me like that then?" I challenged him. "And how would you know what I do privately anyway."

"Man, you would tell me, just like I told you when I thought about screwing around with that Lauren bitch. And why didn't I screw with Lauren? Because you talked me out of it. You said, 'don't mess with the best thing that ever happened to you', and you were absolutely right. Now I'm telling _you_, don't do it. Give yourself a few months, and if your problems with Bella don't get better, then talk to her about it or separate or something. Don't cheat."

"A few months? You expect me to live like this for a few _months_? No way in hell," I said, and then walked past him. I planned on going back inside the bar to talk to Mike, but instead I just kept walking. I didn't agree with anything Emmett said, but my mood had definitely turned for the worst, and fucking anyone was the last thing on my mind.

_Why the hell couldn't I wake up?_

On top of being pissed and walking around aimlessly, it started raining. Eventually, I made my way back to the parking lot where I left my car, but I was fucking soaked…so I reluctantly drove home.

When I pulled up to the cottage, I braced myself for what I was sure going to be another torturous evening, but to my grateful surprise, everything was quiet.

"Hey," Bella said softly when I walked into the living room. She was sitting on the couch reading a book, and apparently the kids were in bed.

"Hi," I replied.

"Oh my god, you're soaking wet," she said as she put her book down and jumped up to go get me a towel.

"Yeah, got caught in the rain," I told her distantly.

It was odd, but as Bella was draping the towel over my shoulders, a wave of guilt hit me like a tsunami. In fact, I couldn't remember feeling that guilty about something in my entire life, and I didn't even do anything. I had cheated on Tanya a bunch of times, and she was my real fiancée in the real world, and not once did I ever feel an ounce of regret, but this was different. In that moment, I absolutely hated myself for even considering messing around with the red head.

_I was going fucking mad._

"So, how did it go…besides the rain?" Bella asked me casually.

"Wonderful," I said sarcastically while stepping away from her.

"Not good, huh? What happened?"

"I didn't say it wasn't good, I said it was 'wonderful'," I told her irritated. I briefly thought about how I sounded a bit like the spiteful teenager did the day before, but I shrugged it off.

"Hey," she said strangely. She walked back over to me, and without hesitation, she pushed her hand under my shirt and started rubbing my stomach. "I don't know why you've been so upset lately, but if you don't tell me, I'm going to have to force it out of you."

"And how are you going to do that?" I asked absently while closing my eyes against my will. Her hand on my skin felt just as amazing as it ever did, and it was hard to concentrate on what she was saying because of it.

"Come, and I'll show you," she murmured in my ear. She grabbed my arm, and pulled me down the hall and into the bedroom. "I'm sure all this wet stuff is really uncomfortable," she said as she began peeling off my clothes. "Wow, how long were you in the rain for?" she asked when she realized I was more than a little wet.

"Uh…" But she didn't wait for me to answer.

"Doesn't matter, you'll be feeling a whole lot warmer in a minute." She pulled off my pants, and then pushed me back on the bed and climbed onto my lap.

"You want me," I said with a laugh. I didn't know why, but the idea of Bella wanting to have sex seemed like a foreign concept. She was always just as horny as I was when we were teens, but this older dream-Bella just struck me as a bit prudish - though seeing her pull her shirt up over her head and flinging it onto the floor, definitely made me reevaluate my view on her.

"That's the idea, yeah," she said with a sexy grin as she kicked her shoes off. "Oh wait, I bought something at the store today," she said quickly, before jumping off me and running into the bathroom.

Seeing Bella in her bra was definitely a turn on, and even the way she almost floated out of the room was hot as hell…but she wasn't Bella, not really anyway. Even if she was the real Bella however, fucking would be the last thing I'd want to do with her. I didn't want anything to do with her ever again. She was my past, and cutting ties with her all those years ago wasn't a mistake. I just needed to figure out what the hell I was doing in the strange dream, and then wake up from it.

Having sex with Bella was _not _an option.

So before she could come back with whatever the hell she went to go get, I rolled over, and pretended to be sleeping.

"What do you think?" she asked seductively, and then I heard her sigh. I was hoping she would just leave me alone at that point, but as her quiet footsteps came closer, I knew keeping still was going to be hard. I only hoped she had mercy on me, and didn't try to wake me up.

Her hair tickled my face, and her breath ran down my neck sending electric pulses down the length of my spine, and I was forced to use every bit of will power I was capable of to keep from moving.

She was going to wake me up, and then I was going to have to come up with some other excuse to get out of sex…_except she didn't_. Her lips pressed into my temple tenderly, and then I felt her move a blanket over my body.

And thankfully, she left me alone…

* * *

><p><strong>***AN: There will be NO cheating (well, except on Tanya). The temptation is just part of Edward's journey, and he'll soon realize that being with someone else is the last thing he'd ever want. **

**Also, Edward's reason for not wanting to have sex with Bella will be explained later…but I think it's safe to say that his resolve will definitely crumble as the story goes on ;)**

_**Coming up next**_**: Edward has a mini melt down, and he 'forgets' something else rather important (If you've seen 'Family Man', you may know what I mean).**

**Please Review!**


	6. Inception

**Spinning Bottles**

~Chapter 6 – _Inception_~

"_Daddy, I want a pony," my little girl said strongly._

"_We don't have space for a pony," I told her frustrated. She had been asking non-stop for a fucking pony, and it was driving me insane. _

"_Then make space!" she demanded. _

"_Darling, daddy will get you a pony next year," I tried placating her._

"_I want it NOW!" she screamed. _

"_Ok princess, I'll go tomorrow and get you one. We'll have to keep it boarded at a stable though, ok?" I asked her._

_She crossed her arms and glared at me. _

"_Now, you know I want to give you anything you ask for, but there's just no place to keep a pony in the penthouse," I told her._

"_Yes, put it on the roof," she insisted. Her sour face was a direct contrast to her golden angelic curls and floral dress she was wearing, which was almost disturbing to see in a way. _

_I sighed. "Of course, that's a great idea, pumpkin," I told her like a fucking spineless idiot. _

"_Don't call me pumpkin! Am I orange? No, so don't call me that!" she shouted._

"_Now, now, dear, we both know you'll end up getting it for her anyway," Tanya said as she walked into the room._

"_Well, maybe this time I won't," I said unconvincingly. "The roof is for everyone who lives in this building, we can't just take over the entire thing for a pony," I tried reasoning._

"_Don't be silly Edward, money can buy anything," Tanya said carelessly. _

"_I want it daddy, and I will not give you a moment's peace until you get it for me!" Out of nowhere, my beautiful princess morphed into the kid from 'The Exorcist', and her head actually started spinning…._

"SHIT!" I yelled while jumping back. When I jumped, the room suddenly changed, and I realized that I was back at the cottage, with Bella still sleeping on the bed next to me. I was sitting up and covered in sweat, and actually trembling from the horrific nightmare.

"Daddy?" a little voice said, and because of the nightmare, there was nothing more freighting then someone calling me that in that moment.

But instead of that little scary little demon diva girl, it was the sweet face of Carlie…looking actually pretty scared herself.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I asked her as I glanced over at the clock on the nightstand…It was three am.

"Oh…I heard you talking in here, and thought maybe the mother-ship was bringing my daddy back," she whispered sadly.

I smiled apologetically at her. "No, I'm still here…sorry," I said, and in that moment, I really was sorry. I had been wanting to find a way to escape the dream for selfish reasons, but as I looked at the way her little lower lip quivered ever so slightly, I actually wished there was a way to bring her dad back to her.

It was odd, and crazy, and made absolutely no sense seeing how she wasn't real…but what if she was? What if her dad and I really were the same person from separate dimensions, and we really did somehow switch places?

The thought was ridiculous, and even stupider than the nightmare I had just woken from, so I shrugged off the thought.

"Listen, I promise, as soon as I can, I'll bring your dad back here," I told her. Even if I didn't believe it, I wasn't about to tell her she was wrong.

She nodded. "Do you think he misses me?" she whispered.

"Of course he does…How could he not?" I told her. The room was dark, but I could clearly see the way her face lit up as a response to my words, and for the first time, I actually took a moment to really look at her. All the times I had spoken to her over the past few days, I had yet to actually see what she even looked like.

To me, all kids were the same; snotty noses, dirty faces, and tangled hair, but by finally looking at Carlie, I realized how wrong I was.

I noticed the way her eyes were an exact copy of Bella's, and the way her little nose curled just like Bella's as well. I used to stare at Bella when we were together in high school, I knew her face even better than my own, and I could definitely see her in Carlie…but I was there too. Besides the eyes and nose, Carlie actually looked quite a bit like me. My face shape and hairline, she even had my jaw, and I had to admit, it was kind of trippy to see what a kid would have looked like if Bella and I actually had one together.

She was absolutely beautiful.

"Will _you_ miss me when you leave?" she asked me unexpectedly.

For a reason I didn't understand, her question actually gave me a strange feeling in my gut, so I swallowed hard, and then reluctantly nodded. "How could I not?" I said with a forced smile. It was a confusing feeling, and I definitely didn't want to decipher it. She wasn't real, and eventually I'd be back in the real world where she didn't exist. Getting attached, even a little, was entirely insane.

She smiled back to me, and then asked me to walk her back to her room, which I didn't even mind doing.

"Sleep well," I told her, and then involuntarily leaned over to kiss the top of her head.

_Yeah, I was fucking crazy. _

She reached her arms around my neck and hugged me, and then started moving around to get comfortable.

"Goodnight," she said.

"Goodnight."

I walked towards her door to go back to bed, but then she had one more thing to tell me. "When you have to go back to your planet….I'll miss you too," she told me softly.

_Yep, there was that strange feeling in the gut again._

…

With it now being Thursday, I started to think that perhaps I'd be there for a week, as opposed to the one day I originally thought, so I actually relaxed a bit from the idea of there being an actual ending in sight. However, the nightmare about Tanya had freaked me out more than I'd admit, and I just needed to talk to someone about it.

"Hey Emmett," I said hesitantly at work that day. We hadn't spoken all morning, and I was fairly certain he was still pissed about the whole '_cheat on Bella'_ thing, but my mind was going crazy and I needed to talk about it before it exploded.

"Yeah?" he asked sourly.

I decided to just ignore his mood and ask my question anyway. "Have you ever had a nightmare that really shook you to the core?" I asked, feeling slightly embarrassed but not giving a shit at the same time.

"Yeah, I guess…Why?"

"I don't know, it's like this nightmare I had is completely fucking up my mind and seeping into my daily life."

"Well, what was it about?" he asked. Even though his anger towards me was still apparent, Emmett was one of those guys that would still be loyal to a friend no matter how rude the friend was. It was actually pathetic….though, right then, I was thankful for it.

"I was married to some brainless chick, and we had a daughter who spun her head all the way around like in 'The Exorcist'. I was a spineless oaf, and at complete mercy to that horrible child; I even used lame words like '_darling_'."

"Wow…kinda makes you grateful for Bella and the kids you do have, huh?"

"Definitely," I said without thinking. "Except…."

"Except?" he asked confused.

"Have you ever had a dream…_within_ a dream?" I asked him.

"A dream within a dream?" he asked confused. "Like, what do you mean?"

"Have you ever been dreaming, and in that dream you go to sleep and have another dream, then wake up back in the first dream?" I asked, sounding like a complete lunatic.

"Uh…you mean like in the movie 'Inception'?" he asked.

"Inception?"

"Yeah, where there's like different levels of dreams, like dreams within dreams…Is that what you mean?"

"Yeah…I guess," I said, unsure if that was what I meant or not. "Have you ever experienced anything like that?"

"Hum…" he thought about it for a moment. "Can't say that I have. Maybe you should really consider seeing a therapist."

"What if I told you that I'm stuck in a dream right now…That everything here isn't real and I have no idea how to get back to my real life?"

"Uh…I'd say you need a therapist."

"No, just listen to me for a minute. I live in New York. I'm the CEO at Cullen Enterprises and I haven't seen you or Bella, or anyone here, in over twelve years. This is all a dream. None of it is real."

Emmett stared at me intensely for a minute, and then said – "Yeah, you need a therapist." I huffed, so he sighed. "Look, if this is all in your dream, then tell me something, what did Rose and I do last night?"

"What?" I asked confused. "How the hell am I supposed to know that?"

"Exactly! If this was all _your_ dream world, then you'd know. I wouldn't have a life when you weren't here, I'd just disappear into nothingness until you dreamed me back onto the scene again."

"That's the stupidest thing I ever heard," I told him.

"_That's_ the stupidest thing you ever heard?" he asked incredulously. "You're sitting here telling me that we're all stuck in your dream, and what _I_ said was stupid? Man, get a fucking therapist."

"Yeah, maybe you're right," I mumbled.

"Whatever," he said bitterly, and then started walking away, but something made me stop him.

"Emmett wait…I didn't screw that Vicky chick," I told him.

"It's none of my business," he said with faux carelessness.

"No look, you were right, ok. I have no idea what the hell is wrong with me, but I swear, I'm not going to do something that stupid. I guess I've just been going a little nuts …from the stress. Alec hates me, my dad is an idiot, the toddler is still toilet-training - which basically sucks, and Bella is working all the time. I feel like Carlie is my only ally right now, and it's really fucking hard."

He nodded sympathetically. "Yeah, I guess that makes sense…Besides, we both know you'd never actually cheat on Bella…_right?_" he asked.

"Right," I said as confidently as possible.

"You know what, why don't you take an extra hour for lunch and go surprise Bella. Maybe you just need to go on some romantic spur of the moment dates."

"Maybe," I said, not really having any intentions of actually doing it.

"No, I insist. I need you two to reconnect so I can sleep at night."

"And why does our relationship status affect _your_ sleep?" I asked him.

"I already told you man, if you guys broke up, then that would just mess everything up for a lot of people. So do me a favor, and go take your wife out to lunch."

"Fine," I said, and then grabbed my keys and headed out. I considered just going to a drive-through and using the extra hour to take a nap, but then my nightmare of Tanya hit me again, and seeing Bella actually seemed like a good idea.

It was ironic that my nightmare of Tanya had the potential of one day coming true –minus the kid's head spinning of course- and yet, it seemed so much more horrifying then the unrealistic dream I was currently stuck in. I still didn't like kids and small town living, but anything was better than life with Tanya.

Perhaps that was the entire point to the dream; perhaps it was my subconscious telling me that I couldn't continue with my real life wedding plans.

Message received. I'd end my relationship with Tanya the moment I was able to.

Even though I was convinced that planning to break off my engagement was the key to waking up, I decided to go pick Bella up for lunch anyway. I told Emmett I would, and a part of me thought I owed it to him for being such a prick before. If Rose and Bella talked, I didn't want it getting back to him that I never went.

Bella had said she worked at the Forks Daily newspaper, and with it being a small town, I knew exactly where that was. When I got there however, she had already left for the hour.

"Do you have any idea where she went?" I asked the receptionist.

"Um…I think she mentioned the diner…But I could be wrong. Actually, Mr. Masen, I think she's eating with a friend, so it would probably be a waste of your time to head over there."

I nodded. "Ok, thanks."

I planned to go back to my original plan of getting fast food, but there was something about the way that receptionist was trying to convince me not to go see Bella, that made me absolutely have to go.

I drove over to the diner and parked, but as I was walking towards the front door, I saw her sitting in a window booth…and she was with a man.

There was nothing wrong with having friends of the opposite sex, but it was definitely not ok for them to be cuddling and for him to have his fucking hand on her face in an affectionate way.

Fuck.

"What a bitch," I said with a light laugh while shaking my head.

There was no point in confronting her, because I just didn't care. She wasn't really my wife, and the fact that she was screwing around with some prick really didn't bother me whatsoever….at least that's what I told myself.

Having lost my appetite, I drove calmly back to the garage and tried like hell to forget about the entire thing; soon it would be a distant memory, and I'd never have to think of any of it again.

"Hey man, you weren't gone very long," Emmett commented while I was putting my coveralls back on.

"Nah…Bella was busy," I said evenly.

"Oh, sorry man. Well maybe tomorrow then?"

"No, I don't think so," I said before walking away.

I finished the rest of the work day, and then drove home feeling strangely numb to the entire thing. I suppose it was the way I should have felt all along from being stuck in a dream, but really, that was the first time I felt stuck in a daze since being there.

On top of everything else, my father flagged me down as I passed by the main house in route to the cottage. Fuck! I considered just driving past him anyway, but figured that my day couldn't possibly get worse, so I might as well stop.

"Yeah?" I asked coldly.

"I need your help for a minute," he said casually.

"Fine," I said with a huff, and parked the car.

"Seth said the investors called and they need another meeting before they make their decision."

"Great," I said carelessly.

"I really don't know what we're going to do if they decide to pass. We may have to sell," he said full of worry.

"Well, let's hope they decide to invest then," I told him.

"Do you think you can meet with them and maybe try to schmooze them a little more?" he asked.

"Let me get this straight…first, I have to basically raise myself, then I have to raise your bastard, and now you expect me to save your fucking business?"

The old man had no idea what to say about that, so he just stood there and stared for a moment. "I – I – I…"

"You, you, you what?" I asked irritated. "This entire fucking place is insane, really. None of this shit makes sense, and none of it would ever happen in reality. You just dump all your shit on me, and I have to deal with it. I work at a job that I fucking hate, my kids are out of control, and my bitch of a wife is cheating on me…Not that I'm really surprised by the last part, she always was a fucking skank."

"What the hell are you talking about?" he asked even more baffled than before. He was bothered by my entire fit, but he strangely didn't decide to butt in until I called Bella a skank. "Bella has done nothing but support you….support _all of us_ for over a decade now. She gave up all her future career plans to marry you and move here to help us with Alec. Do you honestly think working at the Forks Daily is where she wanted to end up? Fuck man, what the hell is wrong with you? Maybe you've been too absent in your own life lately to be thankful for what you have."

I thought about what he was saying for a moment, and realized he was actually right. I never considered the pathetic life Bella was living because of this version of me, so I guess anyone in her place would have some kind of extramarital affair just to keep themselves sane. But that fact still didn't placate me.

"Right, so she deserves to be able to fuck around with whoever the hell she wants?" I yelled. "Just because I haven't exactly been the most attentive, that doesn't give her the right to screw around with someone ELSE!" I shouted at the end.

I knew I was sort of being a hypocrite with my words because I had thought about cheating on her before…but I wasn't the one who made vows promising to forsake all others in good times and bad, and all that bullshit. For all I knew, the version of me that lived in this dream was faithful, and his wife was completely betraying him. I was just looking out for the guy …at least that's what I told myself.

But in truth…I was definitely still bitter over what the real Bella had done to me, and I may have been channeling some of that long dormant resentment.

"What makes you think Bella is cheating on you?" my father asked frustrated.

"Yeah man, Bella would never," a man said from behind my father. I didn't see the guy walk out of the fermenting room, and I had no idea who he was, but he was seriously pissing me off for putting his opinion in the mix.

"Who the hell asked you?" I snapped at the guy.

"Sorry," he mumbled.

"Don't get mad at Seth because you know he's right," my father defended him. "Bella isn't a cheat, and you know it. You're just pissed at something else and taking it out on her."

"Man, you have no idea what you're talking about, and I'm tired of everyone telling me how great Bella is. I _saw her_ with another man."

My father and the other guy were quiet for a moment, and then my father sighed. "Perhaps you misunderstood what you saw."

"I didn't misunderstand shit. She was being all affectionate with some guy at the diner. They were cuddling and touching each other's faces and…"

"Hold on," the guy named Seth jumped in. "If Bella was going to cheat, she sure as hell wouldn't do it at a place as public as the diner…Besides, Jacob said he was having lunch with her today."

"Jacob…as in Jacob Black?" I asked bitterly.

"Yeah…what's wrong Edward?" Seth asked me.

I shook my head slowly. "Fuck this shit!" I said, and headed back towards my car.

If there was anyone I hated more than Bella and my father combined, it was Jacob fucking Black, and the fact that she was still messing with him made me absolutely livid….

**~Fall, 2000 (real world)~**

_As much as I hated being so far away from Bella, I convinced myself it was for our future, and ten years from then we would both be grateful for the time I put into it. But business school was so much harder than I ever imagined it would be, and it definitely took up more time than I originally anticipated. _

_On top of my heavy class load, I took an internship at a prestigious company that was surely going to look great on my resume when I applied to a job full time after graduation. But the hours at that job took up essential study time for my school, so I was forced to use the weekends to catch up. Most of the time I wouldn't even remember to pause for a meal, and by the time I got finished in the evenings, I was so tired that I completely passed out until my alarm clock woke me up the next morning to start it all over again._

_I was so focused on getting through it as quickly as possible, that entire weeks had flown by without me even realizing it. I knew it was no excuse, but my studying had turned into an almost obsession, and the next thing I knew, it had been three months since I called Bella last. _

"_Fuck," I said one day when I realized what had happened. Fifty three missed calls on my cell – a cell that I had neglected to charge in who knew how long. _

_I started listening to her messages, but most were the same. "Hey Edward, I know you're busy, but I was hoping to talk to you soon"… "I miss you"… "I love you"… "Are you ok?" As the messages continued, Bella become increasingly distant, and almost seemed resentful at times. "If you're not going to call me back, then I guess I know how you feel…"_

_But I never meant to not call her. So despite being late for study group, I called Bella's cell, except, her number was actually disconnected, which I thought was odd. _

_And then I called her home number, and that was when everything changed._

"_Hello?" some guy answered the phone._

"_Who is this?" I asked him._

"_Jacob, who is this?" he asked me. I knew Jacob Black, he always had a huge crush on Bella, and I was always two seconds from punching his face in. But Bella always said he was harmless and I needed to leave him along, so I always grudgingly did so…. Big fucking mistake!_

"_What the hell are you doing at Bella's house at this hour?" I asked angrily. _

"_Listen jerk, Bella doesn't want anything to do with you, so I suggest you leave her the hell alone…Bella is with me now, and I won't put up with you harassing her," he said heatedly._

"_What the fuck did you just say?" _

"_You heard me, so don't call back."_

"_No, you son of a bitch, put her on the fucking phone!" I shouted, but then the line went dead. I seriously considered buying a plane ticket and going to Forks to kick his fucking ass, but I didn't have any time to leave….I needed to be at school._

_It hurt like hell, but the fact that Bella didn't even care enough to tell me our relationship was over and she had moved on, pissed the shit out of me. But I refused to let it affect me, and I wouldn't waste one more moment on Bella Swan. I was better than to let some fucking broken heart ruin my life; I was driven, and I wouldn't stop until I became exactly what I wanted to be. I buried all my feelings for the girl who ripped my heart out, and in turn, completely forgot what it was like to feel anything. _

_But it was better that way; I didn't need anyone to complete me. The world was at my fingertips, and all I had to do was take it. _

**~Present day ('dream world')~**

It was a memory I never wanted to think about again, but knowing Bella was messing around with that same prick, just drudged all that shit back up and I was fuming.

"Edward, where are you going?" my father asked me as I opened my car door. "I need your help."

"Well, you said that if Bella and I ever break up, you'd stick with her…So why don't you ask Jacob Black to help you," I said coldly.

I was about to drive away…and not stop driving until I got back to New York. I didn't care that I was stuck in some dream world, I could be stuck there forever for all I knew, so I might as well try to make my life there again. Starting in the Cullen Enterprise's mail room would be better than staying in that shithole.

But then a car pulled up, and I was absolutely shocked when I saw who was driving the car…it was Jacob Black.

"Well, speak of the fucking devil," I said as I got back out of the car. I was never able to punch the guy in life, but I sure as hell wasn't going to pass up my chance there.

"What does that mean?" Jacob asked confused.

"What the fuck are you doing here? Taking my wife isn't enough for you, you have to come to my father's vineyard as well. What's next, my kids?"

"What are you talking about?" he asked.

"I saw you with her today at lunch…at the diner."

"Well, I think it's only fair," he said unfazed. "You've had my Seth out here all day, so I decided to take advantage of Bella."

I cocked my head. "What?" Regardless of my confusion, I was about to punch him, but then he walked over to Seth and shoved his tongue in his mouth….

"What the fuck?"

"Now, now, keep that stuff behind closed doors," my father said disturbed.

"Oh now, Mr. Masen, you know it doesn't bother you," Jacob said with a laugh.

"No, it doesn't bother me that you two's a couple, but that doesn't mean I want my face shoved in it. It just aint proper."

"Whatever," Jacob said, and then turned to me. "By the way," he walked over and slapped me on the arm. _What the fuck?_ "You need to stop sulking around and show your woman a little affection. She's worried about you, in fact, I spent our entire lunch trying to convince her everything is fine."

"Everything is fine?" I repeated absently.

It was a serious blow to my fucking ego…not only was I completely wrong, but I felt as though my entire life had been affected by just how wrong I was. I thought back to the phone conversation I had with him while I was in New York, wondering if maybe I was remembering it differently, but I wasn't. He had said they were together, so either he was lying, or the dream world just got it wrong. Jacob would have no reason to lie, so….

Regardless of Bella's innocent relationship with Jacob there, I had to assume that it wasn't the same in real life – I couldn't accept that nothing had gone on between them, and I wouldn't. I didn't close myself off to her and to all real emotions for nothing…right? – Of course not. Losing Bella all those years ago was the inception of who I became, and without that essential event, I wouldn't have been half as successful; the dream I was stuck in just proved that.

"I'm going home," I mumbled, and then got into my car, and headed towards the cottage.

* * *

><p><strong>***Ok, so obviously we didn't get to the part where Edward forgets the important event like I said we would on the last AN, but that will definitely come up next (at least I think it will, LOL ;)**

**Please Review**


	7. Nowhere

**Spinning Bottles**

~Chapter 7 – _Nowhere_~

"Hey…how was work?" Bella asked as she walked in the door with the kids.

"Fine," I said coldly.

It was strange, but learning Bella didn't cheat just made me even more resentful, and I wasn't exactly sure what that meant.

Bella stared at me for a moment, and then shook her head and walked down the back hall towards the bedroom.

That evening began to unfold just like before, with me sitting on the couch staring blankly at the TV, and Bella helping the kids with homework and cooking.

We all sat down to a 'family' dinner, but no one seemed particularly happy about the company, besides Carlie. Bella did her best to force a strained conversation, but Alec and I were equally unpleasant, and I couldn't help but find that somewhat amusing.

"You know, you two have the same exact sullen expression on your faces," Bella commented.

"I don't look anything like him," Alec disagreed sourly.

"Too bad for you," I told him with a humorless laugh. "I was lucky enough to take after my mother."

"Edward!" Bella scolded me.

"What? It's true," I replied.

"You know what…I've had enough of this," she fumed. She threw her napkin on her plate and then scratched her chair on the linoleum as she backed out, before storming off to the kitchen.

"Daddy doesn't say stuff like that," Carlie mumbled to me. Alec looked at her perplexed for a moment, but otherwise dismissed her.

"She's going to divorce you, you know," he said to me casually.

"Good," I said carelessly. "I hope she does."

"I knew it," he said bitterly, and then stood and ran out.

Bella must have heard Alec slamming the front door, so she popped her head out of the kitchen. "Where is he going?" she asked.

"Who knows," I said carelessly.

She huffed and then ran towards the front door, assumedly to try to find the little punk.

"Just leave him," I told her. "Maybe he'll get lost and not come back."

"What the hell has gotten into you?" she snapped in quiet anger. She was obviously upset, but she was trying to keep her voice down so the kids wouldn't get scared, but since they were fictional, I figured being loud really wasn't a big deal.

"Me? Nothing has gotten into _me,_ except maybe a really bad acid trip. But at least I'm sane enough to know the difference between reality and a really fucked up dream. You, on the other hand, go about life as if all this shit is ok and…normal, which it most certainly is not. I mean really Bella, you can't tell me you're actually happy in this shit excuse of a life."

"Our life isn't 'shit'. I can't believe you would even say that," she said with hurt heavy in her voice.

"It's not?" I asked incredulously. "You work for the Forks Daily and make next to nothing; I work at a fucking garage and part time at my father's run down vineyard. We live in fucking squalor with a bunch of obnoxious kids - and for what? Just so we could stay together. Were we really that fucking clueless as teens to think_ this_ would be better than getting separated and making something real of ourselves? How could _you_ be ok with this? Why the hell didn't you insist that I go to New York? Trust me, we would have both been a hell of a lot better off."

She stared at me for a moment and her expression was unreadable, but then she turned away slowly and walked back towards the kids. I thought she was going to go put them to bed or something, but instead she grabbed her car keys, and stormed towards the front door….and left.

"Great, just leave me with your fucking kids again!" I called after her, but of course, she didn't respond.

I glanced back towards the two kids staring at me wide eyed from the table, and realized that not only was I stuck babysitting for who knew how long, but they were also a mess, covered in their dinner.

"Fuck this," I said just as the fucking pounding in my head started to feel like my entire brain was going to explode. I walked quickly to the back bedroom and immediately started rummaging around, hoping to find something – anything that could get me out of there.

I needed to buy a plane ticket to New York and just somehow try to get myself back into the life I belonged…Except by that point, I could hear the toddler crying…and then the thumping of little feet against the floor came closer, so I forced myself to calm down just in time for Carlie to come into view.

"Please don't do this," she whispered so quietly that I almost didn't understand her.

"Don't do what?" I asked softly as I sat on the bed so I could be closer to her level.

"Please don't leave….Not until the mother-ship comes back with my daddy. My mom doesn't understand, and if you leave now then she'll think my daddy doesn't love her anymore."

_Shit. _

I closed my eyes tightly as a response to realizing my horrendous mistake. Dream or no dream; real or illusion, I absolutely hated upsetting Carlie like that, and in that moment I knew I needed to fix it.

I opened my eyes and looked back at the very worried Carlie, and sighed. The little girl was far beyond her years, but it was completely wrong of me to use her in the way that I had. She should never have to carry the burden of knowing that I didn't belong there, it wasn't fair to her, and I wouldn't make her stress about it for a moment longer.

"Don't worry….I won't let your mom think that your dad doesn't love her. I promise, I'm going to try to be better until he gets back," I assured her.

She nodded, but still looked anxious.

"What's wrong?" I asked her.

"Do you think my dad is as bad at being you, as you are at being him?"

I thought about that for a moment, and then remembered my company's big deal we were in the middle of - "God, I hope not," I told her, but was really saying it to myself. The Podunk version of me that lived in the dream world would never survive in my business, and if I was stuck in more than just a dream, then I sure as hell hoped I had a job to go back to when we finally switched back.

"Come on, let's get your brother to bed," I told her, so we walked back out to the kitchen to get the toddler, but then Bella surprisingly walked through the door.

"I can't find Alec," she said with a shaky voice. "I dove around to all his usual spots, but he's not at any of them."

"I'm sure he's fine," I said quietly. "Don't worry, he's not your problem, I'll take care of it."

She shook her head. "Don't do that."

"What?" I asked puzzled.

"Don't you dare tell me that he's not _my_ problem."

"Bella, I only meant that he's _my_ bro…"

"He's not your _brother_!" she said with tears in her eyes. "I've been here…every day…raising him since he was six years old. You have no right to get pissed at life and then stand there and say that Alec isn't my problem because I'm not genetically connected to him… He's my child, just as much as Carlie and Anthony are. Things have gotten hard with him, but that doesn't mean I love him any less. He's lost Edward, and maybe instead of wallowing in whatever the hell is going on with you, you could get your head out of your ass for three seconds and realize that we are going to lose him permanently if we don't do something about it."

"What are we supposed to do? He's a teenager; teenagers go through stuff that they think is so much worse than it really is. He just needs time to grow up," I told her. I really wasn't trying to be rude at that point, it was just how I honestly felt, and I did think she was worrying over nothing so I was trying to calm her.

"Maybe that's true with most teenagers…but most teenagers didn't lose their mothers at five years old, only to learn later that their dad was a drunk who couldn't support him. Edward, he just needs us to be there for him, and to never give up. He's going to push and push, but as long as we just hold on, he'll make it through, I know he will."

I really had no idea what to say to that, and for the life of me, I couldn't understand how she could possibly love a kid who was that out of control when he wasn't even hers. It was strange, and crazy, and absolutely incredible.

"You're right….I'm sorry…for everything. I'm going to go look for him," I told her, and then took the keys out of her hand, and went to the car. I didn't have any way of knowing where kid would be, but I knew his type; in fact, I was his type, so I was sure I had a better chance at finding him.

I was once a sixteen year old kid in Forks that hated my home life; I was a fuck up and despised the world just like Alec…so where did I go then to escape?

The answer was simple… The Lot.

The Lot was an abandoned parking lot at the far end of town, which was obscure enough from the police for the kids to get into whatever kind of trouble they could think of. It was the spot where many local teens went to escape pressures of life, and that's where I knew I'd find Alec.

When I drove up to the old familiar location, I realized nothing had really changed; it was still covered in graffiti, and still crawling with the same old riffraff losers who were on the fast track to nowhere.

"Well look who's slumming it," a familiar voice said, so I looked out my window and saw him…

"James Noman…wow, good to know you have done absolutely nothing with yourself," I said sarcastically. In addition to the teens who wanted to escape, The Lot also consisted of people like James who never had the balls to grow up. It was really pathetic.

"Fuck you!" he said angrily. "Just because you don't hang here anymore, doesn't mean you're better than any of us."

"Actually, that's exactly what it means…fucking loser," I told him.

"Oh, I'm a loser? At least I don't fucking live off of my old man," he argued.

"You obviously don't know what you're talking about, my father lives off of me and _always_ has. But don't worry, I'm sure your buddies over there will always let you sleep on their piss stained couches until you drink yourself to death."

He glared at me, and then took a step forward. I thought he was going to try to throw a punch, but instead he just leaned in to tell me something. "We both know that if it weren't for Bella, you'd still be here, just like us."

I scrunched my brows at him, but then shook my head and rolled up my window. I really didn't need to waste my time with his pathetic ass….even if he was right….which I wasn't ready to admit.

I continued to drive through the stagnant rabble, and in the furthest group back, I spotted Alec.

"Hey, get in the car!" I yelled at him.

"What the hell are you doing?" he asked spitefully. "You never come out here."

"Well, Bella wants you home, so get in the fucking car," I told him.

"Why should I listen to her? She's not my mom."

"You're right, _your_ mom was a woman who'd rather buy booze then to take care of you," I told him without even thinking.

"Man, go fuck yourself," he said and then began to walk away, but I wasn't going to put up with that shit. I put the car in park, and then got out and grabbed him. The kid was going to get into my car whether he liked it or not. "Let go of me!" he shouted.

I threw him in the back seat, and because of the child proof locks, he couldn't get out.

"You're fucking crazy! This is kidnapping, you can't…"

"Shut the hell up!" I yelled at him. "I have custody of you, so it's not kidnapping, idiot."

"It doesn't matter if you take me home, because I'm just going to leave again, and next time, I'll make sure to go where you can't find me."

I didn't respond to him, instead I decided to try to knock some fucking sense into him. I drove back to the vineyard, but instead of going to the cottage, I took him to another of my old getaway spots…the back creek.

I parked facing the water, and we just sat in silence for a few minutes."What are we doing here?" he asked finally.

"You tell me. How did we get here?" I asked him, and I was fairly certain he knew I wasn't speaking in the literal physical sense.

He huffed. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yes, you do. I know you've always had some issues, but things weren't always this bad, so I want to know what's changed."

"There's nothing wrong with hanging at The Lot," he said defensively.

"I know, I used to hang there too," I told him.

He looked at me surprised by my admission, so I thought it was best to explain. I didn't want to keep turned around in my chair to talk to him, so I decided to get out of the car, and let him out as well. I was slightly worried he was going to run off the moment he was free, but instead he just leaned against the car so we could continue the conversation.

"I can't imagine you hanging at The Lot," he said skeptically.

"I was pretty screwed up for awhile too," I said quietly.

"You? Mr. Always Under Control…screwed up? I don't buy it."

"I'm always under control of myself?" I asked shocked.

"Well you want everyone to think you are. You run the vineyard, the garage, and you never lose your cool at home…well, except for lately. What the hell is wrong with you this past week anyway?"

I rolled my eyes. I was really sick of the fucking question, especially since no one believed me when I gave them the true answer.

"Look, do you want to know about me and The Lot, or not?" I asked while trying to swallow my irritation.

"Yeah," he said with a huff.

"I was pissed at my dad for always being a fuck up, my mom was dead, I pretty much hated my life and figured I had no future."

He laughed once humorlessly. "Are you talking about you, or me?"

"See, that's my point. I was exactly like you at sixteen," I told him. "I spent all of my time there, smoking dope and getting drunk. I was going nowhere fast, and if something didn't change, I was sure to end up just like James Noman. A worthless nothing.

I could see him biting the inside of his cheek, and then he sort of turned his body so he was facing towards me. "Well, what made you change?" he asked after a minute.

I actually hadn't thought that far ahead, and it took me a few minutes to really remember what event had actually made me change…and then it all came back to me.

"Bella," I said to him.

….

**~14 years earlier~**

"_Hey, aint that Bella Swan?" James asked._

_We were hanging at The Lot like we always did, and I was just about to light another joint when I saw her. _

_Bella Swan had been in all my classes since preschool. We weren't exactly friends, but we didn't hate each other either. Bella just never really stood out from the crowd; always quiet and never making any trouble. But my view on her definitely changed when we were thirteen while at a party in Mike Newton's basement... _

_We were all playing an innocent game of Spin the Bottle, and when it was my turn to spin, it landed on Bella Swan. I had never kissed anyone before, and the moment her lips touched mine, I knew I was done for. I fell hard for her that night, except it seemed fate had other plans. She moved out of state to live with her mom the next day, and she took my sad crumbled thirteen year old heart with her._

_But there she was again, like a lighthouse breaking through a black storm, and my days of wasting away were definitely numbered. _

"_Yeah, I heard she just moved back with her dad," Lauren answered James._

_I couldn't take my eyes off her as she moved through the crowd; she was even more breathtaking then when she was thirteen. She walked with a certain subtle confidence, but it was one that she obviously wasn't aware she carried. Jessica Stanley was leading her around and reintroducing her to everyone, but she seemed to legitimately not care what people thought of her. Her hair was a mess and her clothes looked cheap and dull, but she made no apologies for it, and she was absolutely beautiful._

_When Jessica finally brought Bella around to the group I was standing in, I did my best to pretend to be indifferent._

"_Edward Masen, it's been a long time," Bella said with a smile._

"_Yep," I said with faux carelessness. _

"_Ok, well, I'll see you around," she said, and then she was gone. _

_I was a fucking idiot._

_Turned out, however, that Bella just happened to be put in my biology class, and we just happened to be partners. At first I resisted her intoxicating aroma and deep eyes that pierced right through me, except it was pointless, because it wasn't long before she had me laughing, and all my self-protecting walls came crumbling down to become nothing more than rubble at her feet. _

_Once again, three years after our first kiss, I found myself head over heels in love with Bella Swan, except this time, I didn't have to stop kissing her. We became joined at the hip, always together, and nothing else mattered. Bella didn't want to hang at The Lot, so we didn't; Bella had goals to go to college, so her goals became mine. I would do anything for her, including turn my life around and become a better person. _

…..

**~Present Day ('dream' world)~**

"Why are you telling me this?" Alec asked me after my trip down memory lane.

"My point is, I thought I didn't have a future, so I wasted my time away at that shithole, but the truth was, all I needed was someone to believe in me. To love me and show me a different way to be."

"Well, sorry. There's no chick here like that for me," he said sourly.

"There doesn't have to be. It didn't have anything to do with the _way_ Bella loved me, it was just knowing I was loved at all."

"Nobody cares what happens to me," he mumbled.

I tried to think of what I would say if I really belonged in that world, so I took a deep breath. "Look, despite the way things have been lately, you're my brother, and I…care about you. But even more importantly, think about what all this shit is doing to Bella_."_

"I don't have to think about her, she'll be out of my life soon enough anyway."

"Ok, enough with that running away bullshit, we both know you're not going anywhere," I told him annoyed.

"I don't have to, _she'll _be gone!" he exploded.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I asked him.

"All you care about is yourself. You don't even give a shit of what is going to happen once she realizes what a jackass you are!" he turned away from me and then started pacing around. "I always knew this was coming. It was only a matter of time," he mumbled.

"What's coming?" I asked frustrated.

He stopped, and glared at me with the tears in his eyes."She's going to divorce you, and then I'll just be collateral damage. She's going to take the kids, but because I'm only related to you, I'll be left completely alone. You won't want me, dad can't take me, so I'll just be…nowhere."

I shook my head. "Do you really think that? Look, it doesn't matter what happens between me and Bella, you will always have her. She loves you, and not even me fucking up will change that."

"You don't know that!" he shouted with the tears streaking down his face.

"Yes, I do. She has been worried sick about you, in fact, she was the one out looking for you tonight and she was freaking out…I've been a fucking idiot lately, and she still is only worried about you," I tried convincing him, but he wasn't really listening.

"Why are you doing this? We were all fine before, so why are you pulling away from everyone now? You're going to ruin everything," he said to me.

I hadn't realized that he even noticed my cold behavior, but it became clear at that moment, that my sulking had affected more than just Carlie and Bella. And for the life of me, I didn't know why I even cared. He wasn't real, none of it was real…except I did care, even if I pretended not to.

In less than a week's time, I managed to completely screw up a family, and it made me feel like absolute shit. Bella was crying to her gay friend about me, Carlie was begging me not to make her mom think that her daddy was leaving her, and Alec thought he was going to be abandoned.

_I was a real fucking douche._

"Your issues have gone on a lot longer than this past week," I said quietly. Carlie had mentioned that Alec was a 'problem' and despite my behavior adding to it, I couldn't have been the entire reason behind it.

"Because, I always knew this was going to happen," he muttered. "You and her always go around all happy all the time; you rarely fight, and when you do, you're always kissing and hanging all over each other by the end of the day. And even when we have no money, you two always find a way to laugh about the situation. It isn't normal. Things can't always be that perfect. It was only a matter of time until you started acting this way."

"And what way is that?" I asked him.

"Like this. Like you hate everything and everyone. It was bound to happen sooner or later. There's only so much of that lovey dovey crap that people can take before they crack and start hating each other. Things were always good in the beginning with my mom and her boyfriends. And then…it all sucked."

"How long have you been living with me and Bella?" I asked then.

"Ten years," he said questionably.

"And how long were you with your mom?"

"Six years."

"Ok, so you've been with us longer right?"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, so stop comparing us to her, and stop thinking everything is going to come crashing down. People fight; couples get mad and go through rocky patches. But that doesn't mean that they're automatically going to break up. Bella loves you…just as if you came from her biologically. She just told me that before I went to find you. So even if things don't work out, she'll still be here for you, just like she will be for the younger kids. And me and dad…well, _I_ will be here too."

He laughed once. "You don't have much confidence in dad, do you?"

I cocked my head. "Well, I have to give it to him, he's still here, which is more than I ever thought he would be. But…the guys a flake, and we can't count on him. But I promise, I am _not_ him. I've worked my entire life to not be him, and I will never fail at that. We're going to stay together as a family, and we're going to get through whatever obstacles we come across."

He nodded, and we were both quiet for a minute. I had no idea where that particular speech came from, but I hoped it was what I would have said if I actually belonged there, and I really hoped I would have had the balls to follow through if I was really in that situation.

"But why are you doing this?" he asked unexpectedly. "Why are you pulling away from everyone now? What happened recently to make you seem like you hate life?"

I didn't know how it happened, but the concerned conversation had turned towards me, and suddenly I felt like the sullen teenager and he was the sane one trying to counsel me.

"Uh…I've just been a little…confused, and it's made me a little…bitter," I said confusingly. I didn't even know what the hell I was talking about. "But I already promised Carlie that I was going to try to get back to normal, so that's what I'm going to do. No more lazy bickering…ok?"

"And I'll try too. Well, at least I'll try not to yell at Bella too much anymore. You still piss me off, so it may take longer for me to stop yelling at you."

I smiled. "I can handle it."

"I know," he replied.

As much as I still wanted to wake up and get back to my real life, I was done trying to resist everything. Obviously, being a dick and hating every moment of being stuck there wasn't working, so I needed to do what I promised Carlie, and at least try to fit in. If there was a way I could help get the family back on track and undo some of the shit I caused, then I was going to do it.

* * *

><p><strong>***Coming up next, Edward makes a real attempt to do things right, and it may just backfire on him. - We will also start seeing much more EdwardBella interaction per chapter ;)  
>Does anyone else hear the sound of Edward beginning to crumble? Lol<strong>

**Please Review**


	8. Panic

**Spinning Bottles**

~Chapter 8 – _Panic_~

Alec and I talked a little more, but I knew Bella was worried, so we headed home. When we walked inside the house, Bella immediately came out from the back hall, and the look of relief was heavy on her face. Alec didn't say anything to her, he just walked past and straight on to his bedroom, but I knew things with him were going to be different, even if it took a little time.

"Where was he?" Bella asked me when we were alone.

I took a deep breath, and went to sir on the couch. "The Lot," I told her.

"You have got to be kidding me," she said worriedly. "Is he high?" she asked extra quietly.

"No…I don't think so. He was just hanging with some of his friends, but that's not to say he wouldn't have gotten a hold of some drugs at some point tonight. I just really can't believe kids still hang there. I mean, can't they all find better crap to do then waste their lives away in a shithole like that?"

"Things don't change very much around here," she replied with a sigh, and then she walked into the kitchen, so I followed her. She began doing the dishes and it seemed as though all the kids were in bed for the night, so rather than sitting on my ass, I figured I would help her and at least clear the table. "Thanks," she said, sounding surprised.

"What, don't I ever help clean up?" I asked, slightly amused by her perplexed expression.

"Not in the past week," she said with a laugh. "Does this mean your sour mood is over?"

"Hopefully," I mumbled.

"That's not very convincing," she said teasingly, and then she walked over to me and wrapped her arms around my neck, and tried to pull me down towards her…but it was far too close for comfort.

"We should get this place cleaned up before it gets too late," I said quietly as I pulled her arms down, and turned away from her.

"You're right…So why don't _you _wash the dishes," she said while handing me a rag. "You're faster at it than I am."

Fuck.

I really wanted to tell her to do it herself, but I thought of Carlie, and bit my fucking tongue. I huffed, and then went to the sink.

When she laughed at me again, I turned to look at her questionably.

"I was kidding," she said and tried to take the rag back, but I was stubborn as all hell and refused to give it to her.

"No, its fine, I'll do it," I argued.

"Edward, come on, we both know you're horrible at doing the dishes."

"You just said I was faster than you."

"Yeah, faster because you only clean them halfway, so hand it over."

"I said I'd do it," I snapped.

"Fine," she relented. "I'll dry then."

We stood there quietly for a minute, side by side. I scrubbed the disgusting dishes and wondered why the hell we didn't have a dishwasher; Bella dried, but the tension radiating between us was definitely thick.

"See, you missed a spot," she said, and showed me a cluster of soap bubbles on the plate that I had just handed her to dry.

"Here," I said, and reached for the plate back, but she wouldn't give it to me.

"I'll rinse it," she told me and then grabbed the pull-out sprayer and sprayed the plate, but purposefully got me wet at the same time.

"That's not funny," I said seriously.

"Oh, I'm sorry, it was an accident," she said with faux innocence.

"Right," I said bitterly.

I tried ignoring her, but from the corner of my eye, I could see her turn her body towards me and raise the sprayer to my face. I probably would have had time to duck or grab it from her, but I didn't think she would actually go through with it…but I was wrong. The water hit the side of my face, and it was fucking cold.

I clinched my teeth and tightened my grip on the dish I was holding, seriously trying to convince myself not break the thing over her head. The water dripped off my face in fast droplets straight down my neck, to my shoulder, and all the way down the length of my arm…but I still didn't move.

I was a neat freak, and hated to be dirty or wet when I wasn't showering or swimming, so I was pissed that she would be so childish. Even still, I probably would have forced myself to forget about it and to let it go, except she was having a noticeably hard time containing her laughter, and I couldn't hold in my anger for a moment longer.

"That's it!" I shouted. "I'm so sick of this shit." I picked up a pot out of the sink, which was full of dirty soapy water, and dumped the entire thing over her head.

She stood there sopping wet for a minute in pure shock, but then it was war. She grabbed what food was left from dinner, and began throwing it at me, so I retaliated by grabbing the ketchup and squirting it all over her chest. She gasped, but it didn't slow her down. Next she went for the fridge, and took out an almost empty jar of pickles…

"Don't you dare," I warned her as she began unscrewing the lid. "I hate the smell of that shit, you better not…" But I didn't have time to complete my threat, because she threw the pickle juice at me. I tried to duck, but all that resulted in was the juice splashing over my head. "Oh, I get it, you're playing dirty," I said as seriously as possible.

She nodded mischievously, but then watched with wide eyes as I went to the freezer and took out the ice compartment.

"Edward don't," she said, but she knew I wasn't going to stop, so she took off running…and I chased her. "Edward, no," she said while giggling, but I caught her easy enough and dumped the ice over her head, making sure to get some cubes down her shirt. "Ohhh, it's so cold…Let go!" she cried. She tried to wiggle away, but I grabbed a hold of her so she couldn't get the ice out of her shirt. "It's in my bra!" she shouted breathlessly.

For whatever reason, the mention of her bra made me pause long enough to realize we were acting like a couple of idiots, so I finally let her go.

We both stood there for a moment to catch our breaths and calm down, and then she went to take a step, but slipped on a piece of ice, causing her to stumble. I tried to catch her so she wouldn't fall, but that move just threw us both off balance and sent us crashing down to the floor.

"Oh shit, are you ok?" I asked her. I managed to push my hand behind her head so she didn't crack her skull on the ground, but as I laid on top of her, I realized she was probably hurt in some other way.

But the fall just created a new round of laughter from Bella. I was trying to be serious and concerned, but her giggles wouldn't stop, and I curiously found myself laughing with her again.

It was disgusting. She was a mess, I was a mess, and the house was thrashed, but we were both laughing so hard that neither of us could even care.

I had no idea how it happened, but the next thing I knew, my restraining her had turned into me embracing her; our arms were linked around the other, and our mouths were working tirelessly together. Her tongue found its way into my mouth, and she tasted so fucking good that I couldn't even think of anything other than that. She knotted her hands in my hair and pulled me even closer to her. Our bodies molded together and fit like two puzzle pieces that were made to be attached.

In that moment, it felt right. It felt like we were always supposed to be together, and almost as if we never separated.

It was too much. It felt too real. It needed to stop.

I pulled out of her arms, and then got up and took a step back. "It's getting late," I told her, and didn't wait for a response before heading back to the kitchen to clean up.

We didn't speak much as we cleaned, and I had no idea how she reacted to me pulling away, because I was trying like hell to avoid looking at her. I just couldn't go there with her, and I needed to figure out a way to get out of it in the future as well. I didn't know how long I'd be stuck in that world, but I still didn't belong, and it was only a matter of time until everything and everyone disappeared. Getting attached and further involved was pointless.

We took turns showering, and by the time everything else was clean, it was late and we both crashed for the night, thankfully without any further physical closeness.

After the first few days of waking up in that strange place, I began to get used to it, but when the sun woke me up the next morning, I jumped, surprised to see Bella sitting there staring at me. She was fully dressed, and looked way too excited about something, but I had no idea what.

"Hey…_honey_," I said confused. It was weird calling her 'honey', but I figured that was what most married couples called each other, and I was really trying to make an effort for Carlie's sake. I was willing to do whatever it took to make everyone think I was fine…anything except having sex with Bella, of course.

"Happy Anniversary," she said as she handed me a wrapped package with a great big bow on the top.

Uh…._Shit._

"Happy Anniversary," I said slowly.

"Ok, now I know you can never wait to give me whatever you got me, but I really want you to open mine first," she said in a rush.

Fuck.

"Uh…I really think we should wait…Maybe until later…like after dinner, or something," I told her uncomfortably.

"Wait? You can never wait to give me something," she said with a laugh. "Come on, open it," she said impatiently.

I reluctantly lifted the lid to the gift, and inside was an envelope. I looked at her confused, but she gestured for me to open it, so I did.

"It's plane tickets?" I said slowly. "To New York?"

She was practically squealing with excitement, which was a first for her…or at least, _I _had never seen her act that way. Bella was always reserved when it came to showing her emotions, especially over gifts and such. In fact, she never liked gifts at all in the past and had always refused to allow me to give her anything, so I wondered what changed.

"Well, you always wanted to go to New York, so I've been putting a little away over the years, and what better time to go than for our tenth anniversary," she said with a huge smile.

_Tenth anniversary?_ People had talked about how Bella and I were married for ten years, so I assumed that meant we already had our tenth anniversary, but I suppose they were all just rounding up.

"Because…I've never been there," I mumbled.

"No. New York was always an unfulfilled dream, but now we can spend a few days there and sort of play the 'what if' game, you know?" she said softly.

"Right," I said quietly, and then exhaled with a heavy breath.

"Anyway…we leave on Wednesday and fly home on Sunday. Emmett and Rose are watching the kids, and they're actually excited about it…Which makes sense seeing how their adoption is taking so long."

I nodded. "Wow, this is incredible. Thank you," I said with as much enthusiasm as I could muster. I had been praying for a way to get back to New York, but in that moment, it almost felt like something to dread, and I really had no idea why.

"Well, I'm glad you're excited. You really do deserve the trip, and I can't wait to go with you," she said sweetly. "Ok…?" she said switching topics. She closed her eyes and held out her hands waiting for me to give her whatever present I had…which because I had no idea it was our anniversary, I didn't have anything for her.

I seriously felt like total and utter shit.

"Um…well, like I said, your gift is coming later," I said quickly.

"Later? You're worse at waiting then I am; I'm surprised you didn't wake me up at midnight like you did last year," she said with a laugh.

"But, this year I have to wait because….your gift hasn't arrived yet," I said like an idiot.

Her smile faded, and she stared at me blankly for a moment. "Oh my god, you forgot," she said quietly.

"No," I said quickly. "I didn't forget…I just…."

"I can't believe you actually forgot our anniversary," she said quietly.

"I…I…I'll make it up to you…I'll go out right now and get you something," I told her.

"No, its fine, you've been…distracted lately," she said, trying to sound unaffected, but I could hear the hurt in her voice.

"I'll make it up to you, you'll see, just give me a couple hours." I started to look around for my clothes to get dressed, but I couldn't find them anywhere.

"Edward, it's fine, really. I have to finish getting ready, the kids are going to be late," she said evenly, and then got up and walked out of the room.

"Fuck!" I really screwed up that time, and I had no idea how I was going to make it up to her. "I had to have something planned," I said to myself, and then began rummaging through my closet hoping the other me had hidden something in there. "Carlie would know," I thought out loud.

I ran over to Carlie's room, but Bella was calling her to leave for school so she was on her way out.

"Carlie wait," I said quickly. "Where would your daddy hide a present?" I asked her.

"Uh –oh," she said worriedly. "I forgot to tell you about the anafersary. Daddy always does something big."

"Yeah, like what?" I asked desperately.

"Carlie!" I heard Bella calling her.

"Quick, what do I do?" I asked in a panic.

She shrugged. "Daddy didn't tell me what he had planned this year."

"Ok, what did he do in the past then?" I asked knowing they didn't always have a lot of money, so it probably wasn't as expensive as a trip to New York.

"Once he named a star after her," she replied.

"A whole star huh?" I said with a sigh. "Don't you think that's a little…cheesy?"

"She liked it," Carlie disagreed.

"Carlie!" Bella called again.

"I have to go. Good luck," Carlie said with a supportive smile, and then ran off.

"Shit," I said again.

Having no other ideas, I took out my cell and called Emmett.

"Yo," he answered.

"Hey, today is my anniversary," I told him.

"Yeah," he said unsurprised.

"So, I don't think I'll be in…I have to come up with some kind of gift for Bella."

He laughed. "You're joking, right?"

"No, why?"

"Man, the package came here a few days ago. That's why I was confused when you didn't come back to pick it up yesterday."

"Wait…what package?" I asked confused, and a little hopeful. The other version of me was far less of a douche bag, so I was really hoping that 'me' came through for Bella.

"Uh, the one you had delivered here for Bella," he said slowly, as if I was a fucking head-case…which I guess I was.

"I'll be right there," I told him, and then hung up and hurried back to my room to get dressed. I sped to the garage, and practically ran inside to collect the box. "Where is it?" I asked Emmett in a rush.

"In your office."

"My office, right," I said and then went there to get it. I saw the box right away, it was tucked in behind my desk, so I grabbed it and rushed back to the car.

Since it was in a brown box, I had no way of knowing what was inside, so I was taking a huge risk by bringing it right over to her without looking at it first, but I was desperate, and didn't want to waste any more time.

I drove to her work, and brought the box with me inside.

"Is Bella back there?" I asked the receptionist.

"Yes, of course Mr. Masen…Um, might I say, the flowers you had waiting here for her this morning were very beautiful. And I just love how you had the ten red roses for each year of marriage, plus the seven lavender roses symbolizing the years before marriage you had loved her for. It's so romantic that you knew that the lavender ones mean 'love at first sight'," the receptionist gushed.

"Uh…Well, that's me, _Mr. Romantic_," I said, unsure how else I should respond.

"I mean, just to think that you've loved her since you guys were only thirteen, and you're still madly in love all these years later…It just makes me think that fairytale love really exists."

"Um…thanks," I said to the odd woman, and then walked past her towards the private offices.

The place was fairly small, so finding the door with Bella's name on it was easy enough, but I had to admit, seeing a plaque with the name '_Isabella Masen'_, was kind of a trip. I knew that was her name, but actually seeing it in writing was a whole other experience. I had wanted to marry her since I was thirteen years old, and even though our lives went in a different direction, it was still extremely surreal in a pleasant sort of way.

I knocked on the door quietly, and then I heard her say "Come in," so I opened it slowly and peeked my head in.

"Hey," I said gently.

Bella looked like she was on the phone or about to make a call, but when she saw me, she quickly hung it up and got up to walk over to me.

"I'm so sorry I was acting like a lunatic this morning," she murmured as she reached to embrace me. "I should have known that you'd never forget our anniversary. Thank you, the flowers are beautiful," she said sincerely while hugging me.

Once again, she was far too close for comfort, but since I thought it would be offensive if I pulled away, I decided to just grit my teeth and wait for her to let me go first.

"You don't have to apologize…I did forget," I admitted after she finally stepped back.

"You did…but?" she said confused as she gestured towards the flowers.

"I ordered those last week," I told her honestly – well, semi-honestly, I personally didn't order them, but the other me did. "But, _this_ I forgot at the garage," I said, and placed the box on her desk. "It's nowhere near as cool as a trip to New York, but I hope you like it."

"What is it?" she asked with hesitant eagerness.

"Open it," I told her.

"Ok," she said nervously. "Gosh, I swear, even after all these years, I still get shaky when opening your gifts."

"I know. Whatever happened to your aversion to presents anyway?" I asked in a teasing tone, but was actually curious for the answer.

"Yeah right, I couldn't afford to get that upset over your gifts anymore. You'd give them anyway, and I was starting to get grey hair over the stress they caused…so," she said with a shrug.

I couldn't help but smile at her. She was still the same Bella underneath all the little changes the past twelve years had brought since I really saw her last, which was definitely bittersweet.

I pushed those feelings aside, and waited anxiously while she cut open the tape on the box.

Inside the medium sized brown box, was another smaller box, and it was wrapped in light blue shinny paper with a silk bow. Even the better version of me couldn't have been capable of wrapping like that, so Bella and I both knew someone else had done it.

Bella tore into the wrapping carefully, and inside we were both stunned by what she found…it was an old book.

"It's 'Wuthering Heights'," she said quietly.

Holy fucking shit. The other me was the fucking man. I knew in that instant, that it wasn't just any copy of the book, it was her grandmother's.

I watched as she gently caressed the tattered bindings, and opened the book carefully. She held it with reverence, and looked at the worn pages in awe. It obviously carried no monetary value, but she loved it, and I loved that she loved it.

"How did you get this?" she asked with tears in her eyes.

"Uh…" I said, having no idea.

I knew she always wanted that book. I had known that since she was sixteen when she first told me all about it. Her grandmother had read that exact copy to her dad, and her dad had read it to her. But when her grandmother died, her aunt had gotten the book, and because of bad blood between her aunt and Bella's dad, she refused to let them have it. I suppose with Charlie being gone now as well, that book would have an even greater importance to Bella, and the other me made sure she got it.

"There's a note," Bella said through her tears, and then she went on to read it out loud… _"Dear Bella, that is some persuasive husband you have there. He made me realize what's truly important in life, and I am so sorry for the distance between us. I only wish I got the chance to tell your father that before he passed. I love you, and hope we can renew a relationship between us. All my best, Aunt Sue."_

Bella looked back at me, and her tears were running faster down her cheeks, so she got up and hugged me again. "Thank you…so much," she whispered.

"You're welcome," I said, though I had to admit, I did feel a little bad that I got to take credit for it. The other me put all that thought and leg work into it, and he wasn't even there to enjoy seeing her open it.

_Oh well, his loss._

Like the night before, Bella pressed her lips against mine, but instead of pulling away, I tensed and tried to think about anything other than the amazing way it felt.

"I love you so much," she said against my lips.

As much as I was trying to do everything the other me would have done, telling her that I loved her was not something I was capable of doing in that moment.

And thankfully, there was a light knock on her door, which saved me from having to say the L word back to her.

"I'm sorry to interrupt Mrs. Masen, but there's someone on the phone for you, they said it was important."

"Ok, thank you," Bella said, and then pulled away from me.

"Well, I'll let you get back to work," I told her, and then quickly backed out of her office before she tried to kiss me again.

"Ok, I'll see you at home," she called after me.

I couldn't get out of that place fast enough, and by the time I got to the car, I was almost hyperventilating.

"What the fuck is wrong with me?" I asked myself as I panted for air. I could feel my heart rate elevate, my vision went blurry, and I began to sweat profusely. I was only wearing a casual button-down, but suddenly the collar felt too snug, and the shirt even felt tight around my chest area.

I sat there and took several deep breaths to try to calm down, but I felt like I couldn't get the oxygen deep enough in my lungs to be effective.

If I didn't know any better, I'd say I was having a fucking panic attack, but why the hell would I have one of those? I used to get panic attacks in the years that followed my mother's death, but I had since grown out of them, so for the life of me, I couldn't figure out what would have triggered one right then.

Finally after a few minutes, I started to feel better, so I finally backed out of the parking lot. "What the hell was that?"

…..

Later that afternoon, when Bella got home from work, I was surprised to see that she didn't have the kids with her.

"Hey, where's Carlie and …." I momentarily forgot the toddler's name, but Bella didn't seem to catch it.

"Believe it or not, Alec agreed to babysit tonight, so he picked them up and is taking them to pizza," Bella explained, and as a result to her words, I gulped. I could feel my chest tightening again, but there was no way I was going to lose it like I did before, so I forced myself to stop.

"So…we're going to be alone for awhile?" I asked nervously. I had been trying to think of ways to get out of the inevitable 'anniversary sex' all afternoon, but it seemed that was going to prove to be even more difficult than I had thought.

She laughed. "Don't get ahead of yourself, we do have reservations tonight, remember?"

"Yes, right," I said, feeling slightly better. "So…Italian?" I assumed. Bella and I had always gone to the same Italian restaurant in Port Angeles for every single special occasion since our very first date, and since nothing seemed to really change around there, I figured the tradition was still going.

"Of course," she said. She reached up and kissed my cheek. "Why don't you get changed while I jump in the shower."

"Yeah, ok," I said.

I hadn't wanted to run from the situation that badly since I first got there, but I really didn't have a choice. I just wanted to wake the fuck up.

I dressed in the nicest clothes I had in the closet, and waited for Bella to finish getting ready. When she finally came out however, I nearly lost it. Her hair was up in a messy bun thing, she didn't have much makeup on but more than what she usually wore, and she had on the tightest-shortest dress I had ever seen on her.

She was drop dead sexy, and I just wanted to drop dead.

Fuck.

* * *

><p><strong>****Oh Edward. Trying to be nicer, but still an idiot! LOL <strong>

**Coming up next: Edward has a hard time keeping his hands to himself ;)**

**Please Review**


	9. Betrayal

**Spinning Bottles**

~Chapter 9 – _Betrayal_~

I really had no idea how I was going to get through the night, and with Bella looking as hot as she did, I wasn't even sure how I was going to get through the next hour.

So I had to not think about it. I had to escape into my own mind whenever possible, and try to think of anything other than the amazing way her dress hugged the curve of her ass. I tried to not even look at her body much, and forced my line of sight to stay above her shoulders, but I couldn't help seeing the way the men around us didn't give the same courtesy.

The waiter looked down Bella's dress as he showed us to our table, and he wasn't even subtle about it.

"What the hell are you looking at?" I snapped at him.

"Edward," Bella said quietly embarrassed.

"No, I'm not going to just sit here as the little prick looks down my wife's top," I said angrily.

"My apologies sir," the waiter said quickly, and then hurried away. He had someone else take over our table after that.

We settled into our chairs, and didn't even need to look in the menus; we had always gotten the same things there, and I doubted that changed over the years. So while we waited to order, I tried to make small talk.

"So, ten years huh?" I said to Bella.

"Ten years," she said with a nod.

"I guess we didn't get much time to ourselves with Alec coming to live with us and all," I commented.

She inhaled deeply, and then let it go slowly. "No, we didn't have time to be just married, and I suppose we would have waited awhile longer if he didn't need us, but…it was sort of like a surprise pregnancy. We would have ended up the same way if I had accidently gotten pregnant around that time. But it's been really amazing, and even with all of Alec's issues, I wouldn't have changed a moment of it."

"Really? You wouldn't change anything. Not your job, or our house…nothing?" I asked curiously.

She shrugged. "I guess when you combine all the little imperfect things…it adds up to something really great. I mean, without struggling, would we even know enough to be grateful for what we have?"

"Oh, I think so," I told her.

"Really though. If we ended up moving to New York and everything was just easy for us, it probably would have been just as easy to grow apart. Our struggles are what bonds us together and strengthens our relationship for the harder times that life always throws at us."

"Wow…poetic," I said evenly.

"Don't mock me," she said, and playfully threw her napkin at me.

"No, I'm not trying to be rude, but…I just don't agree with you. We could have made it work either way, and being happy the entire time would only make us…happier."

I really had no idea what the hell I was talking about. I was a cynic at heart, and actually didn't believe a word I was spewing, but I was still trying to keep up with the whole '_what would the other me say'_ crap. If we had stayed together and went to New York together, we probably would have ended up breaking up eventually. It was just a fact that the odds were against teen romances, which was why everyone called it 'puppy love'. We only stayed together as long as we had in this dream world, because we had Alec to take care of, and then the other children came, and all our debts…staying together was means of survival by that point.

But Bella smiled, obviously pleased with my false belief.

"It's nice to think that we'd still be together and happy, even if fate had a different life planned for us," she mused.

"Yeah, well…" I said, but let my comment trail off. We weren't together in at least one different life, but I really didn't have the heart to tell her that.

But it was odd to think of yet another alternate path we could have taken. I was already so consumed with living in the two versions I knew, that I didn't have room to consider a third and I hoped to all things holy, that I wouldn't be forced into experiencing another. Though, I had to admit, the idea of Bella and me living our lives together in New York, if we actually managed to stay together and happy, was actually very appealing.

The replacement waiter finally came to bring us our food, and we finished the rest of our time at the restaurant with light talk and a few laughs. It was a surprisingly fun evening; I had almost forgotten how much I actually enjoyed Bella's company. The conversations flowed easily, and there were never any awkward moments of silence. But that was how our relationship always was. Simple; a sense of peace that didn't seem to exist anywhere else.

Life with Bella felt like finally being at home after a long difficult extended business trip. It was the same feeling a child might have when he was allowed to be with his family again after being gone the entire summer at some torturous camp.

But I wasn't a child back from summer camp, and I wasn't a businessman home from a difficult trip. I was stuck in some paralyzing dream, and eventually I would have to wake up and those feeling would be gone. I couldn't allow myself to feel them at all, so I did the only thing I could, I buried them. It was easy to do; it was what I had done all those years before when I first lost her. It was the only way to live through it.

"Sir, this was sent here for you," the waiter said as he brought me the bill.

I opened up the note, and was surprised by what it said.

"What is it?" Bella asked curiously.

"It's from Emmett. He already paid our bill as an anniversary present," I told her.

"What? He shouldn't have done that," Bella said.

"Definitely not," I agreed. "He also picked the kids up to stay the night as his place," I said after reading the rest of the note.

"They're already watching the kids for four nights when we got to New York," Bella commented. "Gosh, they're so sweet. We're really lucky to have such great friends."

"Yeah, we are," I said. _Too bad they don't really exist_ – I added internally.

"Well, we really need to find a way to make it up to them."

"Definitely," I agreed.

Even though it was nice of them to pay for our dinner and then watch the kids all night, I couldn't help but be bitter about it. I was really hoping Alec fed the kids a bunch of sugar and they were up all night bouncing off the walls. It was my only hope for getting out of sex, so then I was left trying to come up with a different solution.

When we got in the car however, I couldn't help but notice the way Bella's too short dress had ridden up even further, and I could actually see her panties peeking out.

Shit, I was done for.

I wanted to touch her…No, I needed to touch her, and my hand and brain were fighting a war against each other. My brain was shouting, begging for my hand to stop, but my hand wasn't listening. Without my permission, it found its way into her lap as I drove, and began moving upwards towards her panties.

But I couldn't look anymore. I was driving, so obviously removing my eyes from the road would have been hazardous, but even more importantly, my hand had gone rogue and my eyes wanted no part of it. It was a betrayal of the worse kind. When a man couldn't trust and control his own body, then there was no hope for anything anymore.

I kept caressing Bella's leg, and she kept on letting me, but otherwise, we didn't talk on our drive home; she just kept looking out the window and humming to the music on the radio. When we got off the freeway into Forks however, things changed for the worse. First she started tracing my arm, sending chills up and down my spine, and then she leaned into me and began kissing my neck.

Fuck, it felt too good.

"Babe, I'm driving here," I protested feebly, even though my hand still wouldn't leave her upper thigh.

"Don't worry, there's no traffic," she murmured against my skin.

And then she reached down, and unbuttoned my pants. "Uh…you're seriously going to make us crash," I said anxiously.

"I think you can handle it," she said unfazed, just as she slipped her hand inside to grab a hold of me.

"Uhhahh," I gasped by her touch, sounding like a pathetic virgin who had no idea what it felt like to be touched in that way.

She giggled at my noise.

It didn't matter how good it felt, I was trying with every ounce of will power I was capable of to stay focused on the road…but Forks was a small town….too small…and we arrived home way too quickly.

I pulled her hand out of my pants, and practically jumped out of the car. I couldn't get to the house fast enough, but she mistook my speed as eagerness and became all the more playful.

I struggled to find the door key, as she continued to kiss and nip at my neck.

_*Cough*_ "Honey, you probably shouldn't be this close, I think I'm getting sick," I told her with another fake cough.

Yeah, it was lame, but I was fucking desperate.

"Oh…poor baby, I guess I just need to take care of you tonight then," she said seductively.

_*Cough*_ "No, I don't want you getting _*cough*_ sick too," I told her unconvincingly.

"Don't worry about me, I rarely ever get sick," she replied.

I finally managed to open the front door, but that just made the situation get completely out of hand. She started dancing around sexily, and actually began unzipping her dress…slowly.

It wasn't a fair fight.

I tried…oh how I tried to not be affected by it…but my stupid dick was a traitor and rose as if Bella was singing the National Anthem.

In that moment, something in my brain switched. I could keep my feelings locked away, and still enjoy a little physical activity. Bella was every bit as sexy as the women I fucked in New York, in fact, she was even more so. I could think of it as nothing different than a casual fling. It was something I was used to, and as long as I didn't lose control, I knew I could handle it. My dick was right; I had been without sex for far too long, so I owed it to him.

I grabbed her arm, and she giggled again as I pulled her into me, and in one swift motion, I lifted her up so she could wrap her legs around my waste. I didn't want to take her to the bedroom because that would have been too intimate, so I just carried her over to the couch and plopped her down.

"Oh baby, I'm going to fuck you so hard," I said, giving her my usual foreplay line.

"Huh?" she questioned, but I didn't give her time to expect a response, because I crashed my mouth down on top of hers.

I ran my hands up her legs to pull her panties down, but they got stuck on her shoes so I had to pull those off first.

"Uh…Edward," she mumbled, but I wasn't about to stop and have a conversation with her at that point. I kissed her harder, and began unbuttoning my pants. There was no need to get completely naked, I rarely ever did with sex, I just wanted to fuck. "Edward," she said again as I positioned myself between her legs.

"Don't worry baby, I'm going to take care of you," I assured her. I brought my hand to her sensitivity, and began caressing it with gentle circles. She moaned, and her attempts to speak had definitely ceased.

Her lips moved with mine, and her hips rocked against my fingers. But when I moved again to reposition myself at her entrance, her talking resumed.

"Edward, tell me," she said breathlessly.

"You're so fucking sexy," I said quickly.

"Mmm," she moaned again. "Tell me."

"I'm going to fuck you so hard that you can't walk straight after," I told her.

"Edward?" she nudged me back, and looked at me angrily.

"What the fuck Bella?" I asked bitterly. The chick was seriously giving me blue-balls, and it hurt like hell.

"Why are you acting like this?"

"Me? You're all over me one second, and now you're pushing me away? What gives?" I asked her irritated.

"You know I just want you to tell me."

"Tell you WHAT?" I shouted frustrated. She huffed and then rolled out from under me, so then I got desperate. "Look, if you want me to say some kind of phrase to get you going, then just tell me what it is so we can fuck and be done with it."

She gave me a look of absolute disgust, and then stormed off towards the bedroom.

With the mood gone, I refastened my pants and sat on the couch completely baffled. I had no idea what the hell just happened, and I was beginning to question Bella's sanity along with mine. The chick was possibly a head case, and I was slightly worried for the children.

Needless to say, I spent the night on the couch.

If I had really tried, I probably could have figured out what she wanted me to say. In fact, I probably knew what it was without even taking the time to think about it. But the truth was, I didn't want to. Maybe I was just a coward and too afraid of letting those things back in after so long.

I wasn't the guy I used to be, and I sure as hell wasn't the guy that belonged in that life….except, what if I was?

It was all getting really fucking screwed up, and I was seriously beginning to question everything. What the hell kind of dream was I in? Was it even a dream at all? Everything was starting to seem twisted, and I was losing touch with reality. Maybe my life in New York was the dream, and my life here was what was real but I just somehow forgot. Perhaps I had been resisting it the whole time because deep down, I knew it was where I was truly meant to be.

Maybe….

* * *

><p><strong>****I know, he's a dick….but he's really just afraid to love because he truly believes he's in a dream and it's all going to disappear. 12 years of suppressing his emotions isn't going to be fixed overnight. <strong>

**Coming up next, Bella and Edward have a heart to heart, and resistance is futile. LOL**

**Please Review**


	10. The Edge

**Spinning Bottles**

~Chapter Ten – _The Edge_~

I spent that entire night tossing and turning, and falling in and out of consciousness. It didn't help that the couch was seriously uncomfortable, but the truth was that I felt like shit for the way I treated Bella, and I kept replaying the entire thing over and over in my mind. Bella was the only girl I ever cared about; she wasn't one of those cheap fucks I had in New York, and if anyone else had ever acted that way towards her, I wouldn't have hesitated to kick their ass.

But it didn't really matter, because it was all just a dream…. At the same time, dream or not, I couldn't remember a time when I felt worse.

When morning came, I heard her moving about in the back of the house, but I was too much of a coward to go back there to talk to her. Despite all my shit however, I never expected what came next….

"Hey," I said gently as she appeared in the living room…lugging a suitcase behind her. "It's a little early to pack for New York, isn't it?" I asked, already knowing that I was way off.

She inhaled deeply, but then shook her head. "I'm leaving…for awhile…until things get…better," she said brokenly. She was clearly upset, but she was trying like hell to keep control of her emotions.

"You're leaving _me_," I said quietly, it wasn't a question.

"I just think it's best…You don't have to worry about anything, I'll take care of the kids….I'll call you later and we can try to figure out a schedule for you to be with them."

I wanted to tell her to stop. I wanted to tell her the truth; it was on the tip of my tongue, but she would have just thought I was crazy. So I tried to come up with a different excuse for my behavior, something that would make sense and get her to change her mind about leaving. It was exactly what Carlie and Alec were worried about, and if only for them, I wanted to fix it…I just didn't know how.

I didn't mean to not respond, in fact, I was busying my mind with what exactly I should say, but she took my silence as an insult, and she continued out the door.

Once again, I fucked up, but it was the worst yet. It didn't matter that I couldn't explain my actions; I should have gotten down on my knees and begged her not to break up her family, not to leave the husband that loved her enough to think about stuff like important anniversary gifts and saying words of affection before touching her intimately. She didn't deserve a fuck up like me to be stuck with, and I sure as hell didn't deserve her. I didn't deserve anything good in life.

I was stuck in a hick town, full of hick people, with hick friends, and a hick family, and every single one of them was better than me. I learned in that moment that even the world's best education and a sophisticated life in the city, had nothing to do with class.

How was I going to face Carlie after she realizes that I broke my promise, how was I supposed to look Alec in the eyes after failing him so miserably? The answer was simple – I couldn't. So I decided to leave. I didn't belong in that family, not really anyway, but I didn't belong anywhere in that world so I had no idea where to go.

I sat there for the next few hours trying to come up with an idea, a place to go until I somehow found a way out of the dream... but the hours continued to tick by, and I continued to sit there. The light outside the window darkened and lightened again, all the while, I hardly moved.

I wasted away the entire weekend in that manner. My cell phone buzzed a few times, and when I saw that it was just Emmett, I ignored the calls. But when Monday rolled back around again, I decided enough was enough.

I showered, got dressed, and actually decided to go into the garage. I had no reason for it, I just went as if I was on autopilot.

"Hey man, how are you doing?" Emmett asked when he saw me.

"Peachy," I said sarcastically. Obviously he knew Bella had left, in fact, I bet she probably went with the kids to stay at his house.

"You know, when I took the kids for your anniversary, I meant for you two to have a _good_ night, not separate," he said gently.

"Yeah, about that…thanks for buying our dinner, I'll pay you back," I said, feeling like shit that he paid for something that ended so poorly.

"Nah man, that's not what I meant. I was just really hoping you guys would work out your issues."

We were quiet for a moment, but then I had to ask. "Have they been staying with you?"

He nodded hesitantly. "Yeah. She was pretty upset and said she didn't know where else to go. Jake and Seth's place is bigger, but they're house isn't really kid friendly, you know."

"Well…thanks for taking them in. I'm really grateful to have you as a friend," I told him sincerely.

"Of course man, you'd do the same for me."

_Would I? Taking in a woman and a bunch of kids? … I guess I would._

Emmett reached over and patted my back. "It'll all work out, you'll see," he said encouragingly.

"Is she ok? You said she was upset, but…"

"Yeah, she's staying strong. She loves you man, she just doesn't understand what's going on with you."

"I don't either," I said truthfully.

We got to work, but a few hours later, Emmett had a worried expression on his face and told me I had a phone call. It was Alec's school. Apparently he was in a lot of trouble, and I needed to get down there before they had him arrested.

"Emmett, I gotta…"

"Just go man, don't worry about a thing," he told me, so I rushed to the high school.

When I got there though, I was surprised to see Bella's car in the parking lot. Apparently, the school called her as well.

I walked in the building towards the office, and saw Alec sitting on a bench with his head in his hands.

"Hey, what happened?" I asked him.

He looked up at me, and then shrugged. "I got caught tagging the east wall."

"Alec! What the hell for?" I asked incredulously.

"Seemed like a good idea at the time."

"No, don't expel him. Suspend him with community service, but expulsion isn't the answer," I heard Bella say from inside the office.

"I should go in there," I told him.

"Hey Edward," he said when I put my hand on the door to open it.

"Yeah?"

"You said you were going to fix things with her."

"I know," I told him regretfully.

"But…she took me with her. I thought she'd want me to stay with you…"

"I told you she would still want you," I said to him, and even though he tried to hide it, I could see a smile playing on the edge of his lips. At least some good came out of the mess; Bella's leaving proved her devotion to him. "So do me a favor, and stop making her life harder by screwing up like this all the time," I added.

He nodded. "You should look in the mirror when you say that."

"I know," I agreed. "If you're not here when we get out, I'm going to hunt you down and lock you in the basement," I warned him as I went into the office.

I opened the door, and went into the room slowly. "Sorry I'm late," I told Bella and the principal.

Bella looked at me with a mix of relief and irritation, but the principal just looked pissed.

"Mr. Masen, if you're not going to be serious about your brother's problems, then perhaps you should look into other custody arrangements," the principal snapped at me.

"Now, hold on there," Bella interrupted. "My husband and I have been to every meeting, and every event that Alec has been involved in. Edward runs two businesses, and always makes it here; which is more than I can say for most parents in this town," she said strongly. "You have no right to get on him like that, especially when this wasn't even a scheduled meeting…"

"Mrs. Masen, the truth is that this is not Alec's first round of trouble. Perhaps if he was in more capable hands…"

"More capable hands?" Bella said incredulously. "This school district neglected to diagnose Alec's dyslexia for years. We asked and asked to get him evaluated, but everyone kept insisting that he just didn't pay attention. And last year, _your_ school refused to stop the bullying that Alec endured, and claimed that he instigated those kids' harassments. It seems to me that we should move him to a more capable school, or at least go to the board about all of this."

"That's not necessary Mrs. Masen, I'm sure we can come up with some sort of agreement as to how we're going to handle this situation," the principal said quickly.

"Well, I hope so," Bella told her.

I couldn't believe Bella's fierceness. She was always so soft spoken and non-confrontational as a teenager, but she had definitely grown into an amazingly strong woman, and I had clearly not given her enough credit before.

She was amazing.

The three of us discussed Alec a bit more, and then the principal excused herself and left the room.

Bella and I sat there silently for a few moments, and I had to admit, it was freaking uncomfortable. The entire time that I had been in the dream world, it had been slightly odd between us, but that was different. It was like there was so much I wanted to say, but had no idea what or where to start.

But I couldn't let her leave again without saying something.

"Bella…I'm really sorry for the way I acted the other day. I wish…I wish I knew how to undo the entire thing and get back to where we were before," I told her softly.

She sat there and listened to me, but she didn't turn to look; she just kept staring blankly in front of her and responded calmly."Look, when we got married, I promised 'for better or worse', and I intend to keep that promise…"

"But," I prompted her, knowing it was coming.

"But you're going through something that you won't let me be a part of, and you've gone somewhere that you won't let me follow. You've pulled away from me, and you won't tell me why."

"I wish I could."

"Then tell me," she said while finally turning towards me with tears in her eyes. "You know you could tell me _anything_. Haven't we always been there for each other? No matter what it is," she took a deep breath. "Is there someone else?"

"No," I said quickly. "It's nothing like that."

"Then what?" she said desperately.

"This isn't the time or place for this," I said evenly before getting up. Talking seemed like a good idea before, but I realized doing it in the principal's office was a bad decision…Or perhaps I was running again like the coward I was…I couldn't be sure.

"Well _this_ is all we have, because Alec is out there, and we need to confront him about this together."

"Fine, you want me to tell you?" I asked, really hoping she would say no. I couldn't lie anymore; I owed her the truth, no matter how unbelievable it was.

"Yes!" she said frustrated.

"Ok, here it goes," I said anxiously. "This isn't my life," I admitted. "I'm not your husband, and those aren't my kids. Before I woke up here a little over a week ago, I was a businessman in New York."

She shook her head at me full of disbelief and pain. I absolutely hated seeing that look on her face, but I wasn't finished yet; I had to tell her everything.

"Look, I haven't seen or heard from you in twelve years, and I have no idea how I got here," I told her slowly.

"Edward, please," she said quietly.

"Bella, I know this sounds ridiculous and crazy, but I swear, I am not lying to you," I said intensely, begging her to believe me. "I went to business school, you insisted that I go, and then we just… I never came back. Bella, I have a career and a condo in New York, I have a life that has nothing to do with you or these kids. I didn't even know I had a brother until last week. I had no idea this type of life with you was even possible anymore."

She bit her lower lip and shook her head in denial, and then took another deep breath before getting up and leaving the room.

I didn't have a right to be hurt by her lack of faith, I knew it was crazy and I had been so horrible to her that she was probably closed off anyway, but I was. I actually thought she would believe me, and the fact that she didn't really tore me up, and I didn't know why.

But I guess I deserved it.

The problem was, by telling Bella the truth, I had lost what little faith she had left in me, and I knew any further trying was pointless. I failed, and I just needed to accept it. I only wished there was a way to make it up to Carlie.

And then I came up with a plan; I knew what I had to do to set everything right…

People always said that it was impossible to die in a dream, so obviously I needed to die there in order to wake back up in my real life. I wasn't suicidal, and if I really thought I was in danger of literally losing my life, I would have never considered it, but I was past desperate.

The Quileute River was fast running that time of the year, and the drop to the bottom from Coyote Bend was surely far enough. People had died there in the past, so it was the best plan I could come up with at the moment.

When I arrived at my intended location, I got out of the car and walked to the edge of the cliff, and carefully climbed over the rail. I shouldn't have been nervous, a sane person wouldn't even worry about jumping off a cliff while in a dream…but I was scared shitless. It hadn't really felt like a dream since the beginning, _at least not any dream I had ever experienced before_, and as I stood there looking down at the rushing water, it felt as real as it possibly could.

"Just get it over with Masen," I told myself.

But surprisingly, it wasn't a fear of dying that had me hesitating. It was the idea of leaving, and never seeing anyone there again. I knew I didn't belong, but perhaps leaving without saying goodbye was the wrong thing to do. Leaving without apologizing to Carlie…leaving without ever seeing Bella smile again; I just couldn't do it.

I took a step back, but then the ground shifted under my feet, and I slipped. It all happened so fast that I didn't even realize it until I was dangling there, holding on with everything I had.

"Shit," I grunted as I clung to the ledge. I tried convincing myself to just let go, but my hands were long past listening to me, so it was pointless.

My arms throbbed, and I could feel the blood rushing out of my palms as they hopelessly tried to pull my body up, but it was of no use.

I was going to fall, and as my muscles began to lose strength, I had a strange moment of clarity. If it hurt that bad to hold myself to the rocks, then it was safe to say that landing from the fall would hurt ten times worse.

I didn't know how I ended up in that life in Forks, but it wasn't a dream, and falling wasn't going to send me back anywhere. I was going to die, and there would be no waking from it in any version of the world.

"Edward!" I heard someone yell. I had no idea who it was because by then, the blood whooshing behind my ears was even louder than the river rushing below.

But I couldn't hold on any longer, and I lost my grip. I expected to feel myself falling, but instead, my body moved up, and then I was lying safely on the ground by my car.

I was confused, and in so much pain that I lost consciousness….

"Come on kid, wake up," a man's voice said through the darkness.

"Huh?" I asked groggily. I forced my eyes to open, and noticed I was still lying on the ground, but my dad was hovering over me. "Dad?"

"Thank god," he said with a heavy sigh. "What the hell were you thinking?" he asked angrily as he helped me sit up.

Something warm and wet dripped down my forehead, so I instinctually reached up to it and realized my head was bleeding.

"What the hell?" I asked momentarily forgetting that I had fallen.

"Please tell me that you didn't purposely jump," my dad said full of concern.

"What? No…yes…Wait, where the hell did you come from?" I asked confused.

"I was out here fishing when I saw your car pull up. I headed over here to talk to you, but then I saw you fall…or _jump?" _he said questionably.

"I fell," I semi-lied.

"What the hell are you doing out here anyway?" he asked. "Bella said you two were taking some time apart, and now you're out here looking like you're trying to kill yourself."

"Well…Bella left me because I'm a fuckup…but I wasn't trying to kill myself," I told him.

The blood kept rushing into my face, and the cuts on my hands hurt like hell, so trying to stop the bleeding wasn't easy. I didn't even remember hitting my head when I fell, but apparently that was exactly what happened.

"I think you're going to need stitches," my dad told me, and then he reached under my arm to help me up. "Come on, I'll drive you."

My father gave me his sweatshirt to press against my head as he drove; it didn't help the pain whatsoever, but the jackass still thought that was a good time to have a tense conversation.

"So, what happened that resulted in Bella walking out on you?" he asked intrusively.

I glared at him for a minute, but decided that since he possibly just saved my life, I might as well humor him. After all, what difference did him knowing my business make at that point.

"I guess I just feel like…I'm living someone else's life…and I haven't been treating Bella the way that I should because of it."

My old man nodded. "Your mom and I….we were so obsessed with making this vineyard work that we neglected our relationship for awhile…but then she got sick," he started telling me.

I already knew where his story was going, it was yet another of his '_woe is me_' bullshit and how I needed to be grateful for what I had, but for some reason, something made me keep my mouth shut and let him say what he thought he needed to. I heard it all before, and yet, it almost seemed to have a different meaning the way he was telling it that night.

"I loved your mother so much, and I couldn't handle losing her… All that wasted time," he mused. "I couldn't look at you because you have her eyes, and she was always there in them, looking back at me with such…disappointment. I promised her she wouldn't die…but she did. I hated myself…and I hated you for looking so much like her.

I drank so much…so, so, much. It was the only way to dull the pain. I begged god that if he would just give me one more day with Liz, one more minute even, I would tell her everything I never got a chance to say….And then I saw her. Alec's mother looked so much like her, and I needed her so much…but when I woke up the next day, I realized it was all in my imagination because she didn't look a thing like her. I screwed up, but I thought if I could just make the vineyard work, it would somehow all be ok.

I couldn't look at you because you looked like your mother, and I couldn't look at Alec because he didn't. He shouldn't have existed. Your mother shouldn't have died, and I should have never been with his mom that night. He should have never been conceived, so I did the worst thing a father could do, I resented him. But you, you kept it all together, you took over when I couldn't."

"So…?" I asked waiting for him to get to the moral of the story. I wasn't trying t be rude, I was actually interested. I never heard my father talk about my mother before, and learning how Alec came into existence was actually comforting in some odd way as well.

"You and Bella, you've been through a lot together," he said, and waited for me to agree.

I nodded, so he continued.

"And you don't really know what it's like to live without her?" he said strangely. It almost sounded like a question instead of a statement, except that couldn't have been right because he knew that version of me had been with Bella every day since we were sixteen.

"Right," I said, prompting him to continue.

"So it's natural for you to wonder what life would have been like if you took a different path; to lose sight of what is truly important and focus on the 'what ifs'….On the other hand, you ran from the life you should have always been living because you were too afraid of the alternative. That's my fault son. I had been so guarded and so…lifeless since your mother died, that you became afraid of the same thing happening to you. You let your life with Bella go because it was easier than losing her against your will."

"Wait…I'm confused," I said honestly. The man started out talking in a way that could possibly make sense for the dream life I was stuck in, but then it morphed into something else completely, something that would really only pertain to my real life… Suddenly I felt strangely exposed, as if he knew the truth about me but just refused to admit it.

"It's about control, Edward. You're just like me in that sense. You need to feel like you're in control of your life, and being in love is the exact opposite of that. Being in love is having someone so important that you can't afford to lose them; it's all consuming, and you forfeit that individual self preservation that's so ingrained deep within you. Being in love makes you vulnerable because if you allow her in and still end up losing her somehow, you risk ending up just like me….a drunken lonely nothing."

"So what should I do?" I asked him. I was past trying to understand the basis of the conversation, I just was looking for some help, and for whatever reason, I felt like my dad had the answer.

"Make a choice," he said.

"What kind of choice?" I asked.

"On whether to fight for what you want, or just to let it go and never understand what it's like to truly live."

"And how do I know what I really want?"

"Now, that's up to you…but I think you do know. I think that's what you're really afraid of."

"What if I can't do it? What if I can't _love_ her the way she needs me to?" I said without allowing myself to think about what I was really saying.

"Oh son, you already do…You just have to allow yourself to feel it."

"I don't know how."

"Because you're afraid. You're a better man than me Edward, but you've seen what it's like to lose someone, so you push it away before it has a chance to grow into something really amazing. But you also have something I didn't, a second chance…Don't waste it."

We had already arrived at the hospital; we were still sitting in the car finishing our conversation, but I supposed my head wouldn't stitch itself, so we went inside.

After hours in the ER, ten stitches in my forehead and five in the palm, plus a cat scan to check for brain injuries, I was finally released from the hospital. My dad drove me back to the cottage, and I was beyond surprised to see Bella sitting on the porch swing waiting for me. I pushed and pushed her, but she just kept coming back.

"I called her," my dad mumbled as he parked the car.

"Great," I said feeling that familiar attack of panic that I had continued fighting off since arriving back in Forks.

"She wanted to go to the hospital to be with you, but I convinced her you were fine and it was best to wait for you here."

"What did you tell her?" I asked quickly as I noticed the way Bella's face was twisted with distress.

"The truth….that you tried to jump into the river," he said casually. I glared at him, but he just shrugged. "I guess you better go explain yourself so she can stop driving herself insane with worry. Poor thing, probably blames herself."

"You are a…" I let my sentence trail off because it didn't really matter. He was right, Bella looked horrible and that was all that mattered right then. "Thanks," I muttered before getting out of the car.

Even from several feet away, I could see that Bella was trembling as she looked me over, and then she reached for me….

* * *

><p><strong>****I thought that was a good place to end it, I'm sure you probably disagree. LOL. <strong>

**Coming up next, Edward does a 180 and tries to convince Bella to cancel the New York trip. Anyone else smell something citrusy? ;)**

**Please Review!**


	11. Flipped

**Spinning Bottles**

~Chapter 11- _Flipped_~

_Even from several feet away, I could see that Bella was trembling as she looked me over, and then she reached for me_…and slapped me across the face. "Don't you ever do that to me again!" she yelled. But before the sting could subside, she grabbed a hold of me, and pulled me into her arms. "Thank god you're ok. What were you thinking?"

"Bella, I'm sorry." It sounded stupid apologizing yet again, but I had no idea what else to say.

"It doesn't matter anymore," she said while holding me tightly. "Just tell me what you need, and that's what we'll do." She pulled back and looked at me in the face. "I'm so sorry for walking out on you like that. I should have been more patient. I should have…"

"Bella, stop apologizing to me," I told her strongly. "You didn't do anything wrong. I just…I slipped."

She looked at me skeptically. "Your dad said you jumped. Why would you go out there anyway?"

"I just went there to…think, and the ground gave way under my feet."

"But you had to have been on the other side of the rail?" she questioned.

"Yeah, I climbed over because I…wanted to see something. I promise, I'm not suicidal. Everything is fine…well, fine considering all the shit I've been causing lately," I tried assuring her. "Look, it's getting late, why don't you go back to the kids, I'm sure they're driving Emmett and Rose crazy by now."

She reached her hands up, and gently cradled my face in her hands. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to be here until you're ready to talk…and if you decide you never want to discuss it, then I'll still be here because I love you more than anything. I should have never left; these past couple days have been just …torture."

Her eyes were intense as they pierced straight through me, and at that moment, I felt like she truly saw me. She didn't have to believe the truth, because she saw the real me and she knew me entirely. I could see myself clearly reflected there in her eyes, and I realized then that perhaps that was where I had always been. Perhaps I didn't bury myself like I always assumed, perhaps I left myself there with her all along.

My father's words replayed in my mind…I needed to figure out what I really wanted, and in that moment, I was sure that I knew. I wanted to be that guy; I wanted to be the man reflecting in her eyes, the one she loved more than anything. It was the only thing I was really sure of anymore.

"How do you do that?" I asked her softly.

"What?"

"After all the hell I've put you through this past week, how can you still look at me like that?"

"We've had our ups and downs over the years…but the good far outnumbers the bad. We'll get through this, just like we've done with every other obstacle we faced," she said confidently. "Come on, let's get you inside."

My father was right. I had been running from where I knew I belonged for so long, that I had forgotten what it was like to really feel anything. No one ever loved me unconditionally the way Bella had. Not since my mother died had I ever felt that sense of hope that most people seemed to carry. I began to feel it with Bella before as teens, but I was young and stupid, and far too much of a coward to hold onto it. But this Bella was still there, still loving me regardless.

I briefly wondered what the Bella from my world was doing, and where her life had taken her. And as selfish as it was, a part of me wished she still loved me somewhere deep inside her. But that Bella didn't have a loyal me to hold on to her, that Bella was probably also a mother and amazing wife…just with someone else as her husband. She deserved to be happy, and I prayed to all things holy that she found it.

Bella ran off towards the kitchen, and reemerged with an icepack and a towel to wrap it in.

"Here, this should help with the swelling," she said while putting the pack on my bruised hand. "Does it hurt?"

"Nah, they gave me some painkillers at the hospital."

"Wow, look at those stitches. You're going to have a scar there," she said as she looked closer at my forehead.

"Great, now I'm going to look like Frankenstein," I joked.

"I don't know, scars can be sexy," she said casually.

"Really?" I questioned with my lower region taking interest as well.

"I think so," she said with an intoxicating smile. "Just don't get it near me until the stitches are out though," she said in a rush.

"Why…because you have a weak stomach and they're making you a bit queasy?" I asked with a grin, already knowing it was correct. Bella never could handle blood and such.

"You know that's why," she said getting slightly uncomfortably by her close proximity to my wounds.

"Well, I think it's time you get over it," I said playfully, and then scooted even closer to her.

"Edward don't," she said, trying to be serious but failing miserably.

"Come on Bella, if you love me, you have to love every part of me," I teased, but then her caged smile faded.

"I do love every part of you," she whispered seriously. She climbed on my lap, and then shocked the hell out of me by kissing my forehead, right over the stitches. When she pulled back, I watched her carefully for any sign of gagging, but there wasn't any whatsoever.

She was completely relaxed, and as I stared at her, I couldn't help but notice the subtle changes in her face that weren't there in high school. I had been so absorbed with my own bullshit since arriving there, that I didn't notice the soft lines that now danced at the corners of her eyes, or the extra freckles that hadn't been there before. She was different…older, and she had never looked more amazing then she did at that moment.

"God, you're beautiful," I told her honestly. I didn't intend to give her a compliment right then; it just came out uncontrollably, but it was absolutely true. She completely took my breath away.

She smiled at me, but otherwise dismissed my words. "You should probably get some rest," she told me. She climbed off my lap and grabbed my hand as if I needed help up, and then she led me back to the bedroom.

When we got to the room, she started unbuttoning my shirt and then pulled it down off my shoulders. I had several large bruises on my torso from the fall, so she caressed her fingers over them gently, and then let her hands come to a rest on my chest. She stared at me for a moment, but then she quickly took a step back and went to the closet.

"I know you don't usually like to wear a shirt to bed, but…" she said while walking back to me with a t-shirt. "This may help prevent your bruises from rubbing on the sheets."

She held the shirt out to me, but I shook my head no. I knew what she was doing, and I wasn't going to let her. I had spent the past week trying to get out of intimate encounters, and she obviously noticed, so she was trying to give me the space she thought I wanted.

But I didn't want the space, not anymore. All of those dormant emotions came flooding back like a broken damn, and fighting it was useless. I didn't know how long I'd be in that place for, but it didn't really matter. If there was even a chance that my life had changed permanently, then I wasn't going to waste another moment of it.

"I love you," I told her sincerely. The words seemed so impossible before, but saying them right then was as easy as breathing and just as important. "I've have loved you every day since we were thirteen, and I'll love you long after I've left this world."

Tears pooled in her eyes, and then she reached her arms around my stomach, and rested her cheek against my collarbone. "That was all I wanted to hear," she whispered.

We held each other for a few more moments, and then she turned her face so she could kiss the skin just below my neck. In return I kissed her hair, and then our mouths sought each other out like magnets. Her lips felt like silk against mine, and even though I had kissed her since being back, this was different.

It was tender and soft, but still intense in a completely unique way. It was the physical representation of every emotion I ever felt for her, which was combined with years of numbly missing her. Kissing her was always amazing, but knowing what it was like to lose her just made me appreciate it so much more than I ever imagined.

And just like that, I felt whole. She filled in the pieces that I didn't even realize were missing, and I knew I would never find that with anyone else no matter how long I searched.

Our kiss deepened, and then intensified even more.

It became less about a want, and more of a need…I needed to be inside of her, that's all there was to it.

I lifted her shirt over her head, and then she unbuttoned my pants. It still felt like she was hesitating, waiting for me to back out again, but it wasn't going to happen and I wanted her to stop worrying.

"Bella," I breathed against her lips.

She tensed, readying herself for me to pull away, but she had the wrong idea, and I absolutely hated myself for ever making her feel that way.

"I want to be inside of you," I murmured.

I could feel her body relax as a response to my words, and yet, the temperature between us only burned hotter.

"Then what are you waiting for?" she replied with gentle desperation.

I guided her back on to the bed, and then gently moved over her. Our lips only parted for a moment, and then they were right back together. Our shirts were already off, so we turned our efforts to our pants; each working at removing the others'. We managed to get our arms and legs all tangled with our pants, but we couldn't be bothered with caring.

Finally, we were free of everything but each other, and as I positioned myself between her legs, I whispered "I love you," one more time, just to reassure her.

"I love you too," she replied, and for the first time in my life, those words in that situation held a mountain of meaning. I loved her when we were together before, but I was never exactly sure why the words needed to be exchanged every time before we made love. But I understood then. The weight of the words added to the sensation; it was just as beneficial as a touch in a specific area, and after so many years away from her, they were definitely beyond important.

I pushed into her slowly to savor the moment, and I couldn't believe how amazing it felt.

I always had a cold superficial belief that women who had given birth would feel differently, but I was so wrong. Bella felt amazing; better than amazing. There wasn't even a word that properly described the combination of the physical aching bliss, and the emotional desperation of being inside Bella.

_My Bella. _

She wasn't just my first love or high school girlfriend anymore, and she wasn't a long suppressed regret; Bella Swan was _my _wife.

"Oh shit," I said with a gasp.

"What?" she asked concerned.

"I…I…I don't know what happened," I said mortified.

"What?" she asked again.

"I'm done," I mumbled embarrassed.

"What? Why?" she asked anxiously, and then I realized that she probably thought it was something that she did wrong.

"No, babe, I…_came_ too early," I said sheepishly.

"Oh…" she said, and then started laughing.

"I don't think it's very funny," I grumbled, but she only laughed harder, and I couldn't help but laugh with her. "It's your fault really," I went on while trying to control my laughing.

"Oh yeah, how so?" she asked breathlessly.

"You shouldn't feel that good."

"Sorry, I'll try to do worse next time…How do I do that?" she asked, trying to be serious.

"I don't know…fart or something," I said like a moron, and then we both busted out laughing again.

But our bodies were still connected, and the vibrating from our joint laughter sent electric waves to all the right places, and I quickly became ready for round two. I pressed my lips to hers in order to let her know my intention, and then I began rocking in and out of her again, slowly picking up pace.

"I'll do better this time," I said against her lips.

I could feel her smile. "You already are."

Her body moved with mine like a well choreographed dance, and yet, every move left me wondering what the next would be. She was perfect, and I had no idea how I lived without her for so long.

I started moving faster as my body took over control, but I wouldn't allow myself to lose it completely; I wanted Bella to reach her climax as well. I couldn't believe the way my body was responding to her. Physically, I felt like a prepubescent teen getting his willy played with for the first time, it was ridiculous, but I was so beyond happy that I didn't even care.

I slowed down my motions to try to get better control, but I wasn't going to be able to hold on for much longer, so I pulled out all the stops. I brought my hand to her swell, and began caressing it gently to match my pumping.

"Oh Edward," she breathed. The sound of my name rolling off her lips in that situation, was just far too much to handle, and once again, I lost it.

With a grunt, I released into her…but thankfully, I could feel her body shudder as she found her own release around me.

We laid there for a few moments, and caught our breath as our foreheads rested against each other.

"Everything is really going to be ok?" she asked after a minute.

"Oh honey, I swear, I'll never make you question it again," I said wholeheartedly.

"You better not, because I really have no idea how much more I could take."

I kissed her again, and then pulled out and laid next to her. But I wasn't ready to let her go just yet, so I pulled her back into me so she could rest against my chest.

We spoke quietly for awhile, and then we drifted peacefully off.

...

It was tacky, and cheesy, and absolutely ridiculous how amazing I felt waking up with her lying in my arms.

I never understood how anyone could be so serenely happy living in the assumption that they were only ever going to be with one person for the rest of their life, but that's how I felt. I could live in that room alone with her forever, and love every moment of it. The idea of being with anyone else was as appealing as getting bamboo shoots shoved under my nails.

It wasn't even a question; I found my place, and I was never going to let it go.

Life seemed different after that…lighter, like anything was possible. The kids came home, and even Alec had a bounce in his step as he moved.

And then another tornado hit us. Anthony had a diaper blowout, Carlie threw up everywhere, and Alec accidently started a fire on the kitchen stove - and that was all in the same night. It was utter chaos…and I loved every moment of it. These weren't strangers that I got stuck with anymore, they were my kids, my family, and being upset or even grossed out by such events seemed ridiculously impossible.

Bella and I worked together effortlessly to get the kids bathed and in bed, and then the house cleaned. Even though I was still new at the whole 'dad' thing, it all seemed familiar, like I knew what I was doing without knowing anything; almost a déjà vu in a way. Whether it was all common sense or a phantom memory, I wasn't sure, but either way, I was grateful for it.

But we were still a mess, so when everything was calm and the kids were all sleeping, we decided to shower _together_.

It didn't matter how exhausted we were from the crazy night, we somehow got a second wind, and fully took advantage of the quiet. We had sex in the shower, and then again in the closet when we were trying to get clothes, and after we finally managed to get dressed, we stripped it all back off and made love on the bed. It was too much and I was actually sore from it all, but at the same time, I couldn't get enough of her.

"Oh god, it hurts," Bella complained with a lazy giggle as we laid next to each other naked in bed.

"Well, here, let me rub it," I said evenly and reached over to begin caressing her sensitivity.

"No, you'll just make it worse," she said while playfully pushing my hand away.

"How will I make it worse?" I asked, feigning hurt.

"Because, we'll just end up having sex again," she said truthfully.

"Yeah, I guess we have been having more sex than usual," I said, assuming that after fourteen years together, she didn't have sex as often with the other me, as we had in the past couple days.

"Well…it's been a few weeks," she said casually. "But it's definitely good to be back to normal."

I stared at her in shock for a moment, and had a momentarily bout of jealousy when she mentioned her abundant sex life. It didn't matter that she had been having sex with the other me, it still wasn't _me_ and I actually hated the guy.

Yeah, I was a moron, so I forced myself to forget it.

I moved my hand from her vagina, up her body to her lower stomach, and then noticed something.

"Stop," she said as she tried covering the spot I was looking at.

"No, I want to see," I said, and pulled her hand away. "Are those stretch marks?" I asked incredulously.

"Why do you sound so shocked?"

I shook my head. "I just haven't seen them be- _in awhile_." I was about to tell her that I hadn't seen them 'before', but I changed it for obvious reasons.

"Well stop…they're ugly," she complained.

"No they're not," I said and then bent over and kissed the area. "They're beautiful," I said sincerely.

Like the brainless oaf I was before, I had always thought stretch marks were just one more reason why having sex with mothers was gross, but seeing Bella's, I was strangely turned on.

"Beautiful?" she argued.

"You got them while growing my babies, of course they're beautiful," I told her softly.

Bella was right, her 'pain' just got worse, because we ended up making love again after that…though, she definitely wasn't complaining.

...

Everything was different during those few days, but then the panic set in again.

"What are you doing?" I asked Bella that Tuesday evening after the kids had all gone to bed.

"Uh…packing. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you remembered."

"Remembered what?" I asked anxiously. The last time I saw her with suitcases, she was leaving me. _I shuddered at the memory_. It had only been two days, and I already couldn't imagine my life without her.

"We're leaving for New York in the morning," she reminded me.

_Uh oh._

"Um…do you think that's such a good idea? I mean, the kids have been spending a lot of time at Em's house lately," I said, trying not to panic. I had no idea what would happen if I went back to New York, but I sure as hell didn't want to find out either.

It was odd how quickly my desires had flipped. I had spent over a week trying to escape and find a way back to life in New York, and after just two days of admitting my love for Bella, I wanted nothing more than to stay as far from New York as possible…and I couldn't think of a further place in the US, than in Forks. I went from trying to get out of sex, to trying to get out of the trip, and that kind of deflection was fucking exhausting.

"The kids are fine," she told me. "In fact, I can't remember the last time Alec seemed so content."

"Yeah…but, give it time, I'm sure Alec will come up with another crisis," I argued. Even though Alec was happier, he was still a teenager, drama was inevitable.

"Edward," Bella said with a smile. She walked over to me and placed her hands on my stomach. "We're going to be gone for four days…not four weeks." She reached up on her toes, and kissed me.

"I love you," I told her involuntarily, as I had done so many times in the past couple days.

"I love you too," she said with another smile. "Now start packing."

"Babe…" I said, thinking of something.

"What?"

"I forgot, tomorrow is league day. I can't let my team down by missing."

"Don't worry, Emmett got Jacob to fill in."

_Damn it._

"Jacob? He'll spend more time polishing everyone's balls then actually bowling," I complained.

"Funny," she said sarcastically.

"No, I didn't mean like that. You're disgusting, get your mind out of the gutter," I joked.

"Honey, you're only going to miss one meet. Everything will be fine," she tried assuring me.

"One week could throw off our entire season's record," I said, reaching for anything I possibly could that would get us out of going.

"I think you did that already last week," she said teasingly.

"How'd you know that?" I asked, slightly offended.

"Emmett," she said with a shrug. "He said he had never seen you do so bad."

"_Fucking jerk_," I said under my breath. I was slightly worried that he may have mentioned something about the red head to her as well, but then I shook off the thought. Emmett was a good friend; he wouldn't sell me out like that. I hated that it had happened, but I wasn't the same guy anymore, and Bella finding out would only hurt her. "Well, maybe we should just reschedule anyway. This past week has been…shitty, so maybe…"

"You're right, this past week has been horrible, which is why we_ need_ this vacation. It'll be great, you'll see," she said with another quick kiss, and then she disappeared into the closet again.

_Fuck._

* * *

><p><strong>*****Drastic switch, huh? Maybe too drastic? I figured all he needed was a swift kick in the ass to make him realize his terribly wrong view on everything, and I think his brush with death and her undying support was definitely that for him. <strong>

**Don't be too mad that Bella let him off the hook so quickly; they had ten great years together, so a week of hell is worth sticking through. Plus, this Edward will definitely have some hard work to do ahead, so he will pay for his misdeeds ;)**

**Anyway, fun times in the city (and some uncomfortable encounters)…coming up next.**

**Please Review!**


	12. Colliding

**Spinning Bottles**

A/N: A lot of people keep asking if Edward is going to end up back in his old life, or if he stays in this one, but that is one question you are all going to have to wait to be answered. I will say this - if you stick it out until the end, you won't be sorry…I guarantee it! Like with ALL my stories, this too will have an HEA that will be satisfying for everyone (hopefully) LOL ;)

~Chapter 12 – _Colliding_~

"Honey, calm down," Bella said worriedly as the plane sped down the runway. She began rubbing my knee soothingly, but my nerves wouldn't cease.

"No, I'm fine…everything is fine," I lied pathetically.

The plane lifted off the ground, and I nearly puked.

"Just lay your head back and close your eyes," Bella suggested.

"I don't want to close my eyes!" I nearly shouted. I didn't mean to snap at her, but I was in full blown panic mode, and I was having a really hard time controlling it.

The worst part was that I wasn't even afraid of flying; I actually loved it, and was a regular transatlantic commuter to our European offices. But this was different, it had nothing to do with the flight itself…it was the destination.

Just a few short days, and I was a changed man. Just a few short days, and my life suddenly depended on the woman sitting beside me. It was fucking terrifying.

"Maybe we should go have sex in the bathroom, or something," I said brokenly as I continued to shake.

"Well, that would definitely be distracting," Bella said with a laugh.

"Ok great, I'll go to the bathroom first, and you just wait a minute and then meet me there," I told her.

"Ok, sure," she said with another laugh.

I started getting up, but then she grabbed my arm. "Where are you going?" she asked.

"To the bathroom," I said slowly, confused as to why she was confused.

"Wait, you were serious?"

"Yeah…you weren't?" I asked. She looked at me disturbed, so then I started laughing. "Babe, I'm joking," I lied. I really wasn't joking, but she was obviously uncomfortable with it, so I decided it was better just to forget the whole thing.

The flight was long, and the annoying stewardess kept flirting with me. At first I thought it was all in my head, but after the fifth time that she came out to offer a 'refreshment' to _just_ me, I had enough.

"Listen lady, I'm here with _my wife_, so can you just leave me the hell alone."

"Edward," Bella said embarrassedly.

"I'm sorry honey, but this chick is seriously getting on my nerves." I probably could have gotten thrown off the plane for speaking to the woman in that way, but she walked away quietly because we both knew I was right.

_Too bad; getting thrown off the plane would have actually been preferable than going to New York._

We landed in the familiar airport a few hours later, and as we walked towards baggage claims, I nearly lost it again.

"Shoe shine?" a voice asked from behind me. I squeezed my eyes shut, and then turned around slowly. I didn't want to, but I figured if it went wrong I could just grab Bella and run for it. "Shoe shine, sir?" he asked again.

I looked at the man, and then took a step closer. "Alistair," I said quietly.

"Yes sir…Would you like your shoes shined?"

"Do you…recognize me?" I whispered, hoping Bella couldn't hear.

"Sorry sir, I shine a lot of shoes," he said with a friendly smile.

I glanced at Bella, and she was watching our interaction curiously, so instead of questioning the guy any further, I decided to just move on. I had spent a lot of time at that airport, and I usually stopped by Alistair's stand. He knew me by name, and would always have a chair waiting…but he thankfully didn't seem to recognize me in this world.

I was momentarily relieved, but then again, Alistair was never the sharpest tool in the shed.

"Do you know that man?" Bella asked confused as we continued on our way.

"No, why?" I asked quickly.

"You said his name."

"Oh, because it was on his nametag. I always feel bad for guys like that, I just wish I was wearing shoes he could polish," I said while gesturing to my tennis shoes.

"Yeah, I guess they only make a living if people buy their service," Bella agreed.

We got our bags, and then went to the airport curb to flag down a taxi, but it was a busy afternoon, and there were a lot of people waiting around for taxis.

"Wow, we're going to be here all night," Bella said wearily as we watched the crowd ahead of us.

"Don't worry about it," I assured her. "Wait here."

The thing with New York taxi drivers was, they knew exactly who was a tourist, and how to screw with them. You had to know how they thought in order to not get dicked around, and I definitely knew how they thought.

I basically walked through the crowd, demanded a car to stop, and told him not to fuck with me. It was as simple as body language and the tone to your words, and it worked. The guy even got out of his car to help with the bags.

"You got a taxi?" Bella asked surprised.

"Of course. Let's get going."

Bella had done all the planning and reservations, so when she told me what hotel we were going to, I just had to grit my teeth and pretend to be excited.

The Edison Hotel was a three star at best, and had I been in my world, I would have never been caught dead at the place; but it was in a decent location, and with our budget it was probably the best we could get. As long as the bed was clean enough to make love to my wife on, then it was fine by me.

When we got there, we checked in at the lobby, and then went up to our room.

"Wow, this is nice," Bella said as we looked around the room.

"Yeah…it's…great," I said with as much enthusiasm as I could muster. The truth was however, that after living in a tiny cramped cottage with four other people, the hotel was actually nice in comparison.

"So, what now?" I asked her as I walked over and wrapped my arms around her waist.

"Well, we could go see Time Square, or the Statue of Liberty," she said with a giggle as I began kissing her neck. "Or Rockefeller Center," she continued feebly.

"Or, we could just stay in," I told her while pushing my hand down her pants.

"We could do that," she agreed absently. "We could definitely stay in for awhile…it was a long flight."

"Really long," I told her and then lifted her up and carried her to the bed. "Hold on," I said quickly and threw the covers off before laying her down. "They never wash those things," I explained before resuming our kisses.

It was strangely erotic having Bella in New York, and I knew I would never get through any of the cheesy sightseeing tours she had planned for us, if I didn't get a chance to be inside her first.

"I love you," I told her as I pushed into her. I didn't even think about saying it anymore, it just came out at all the appropriate times.

"I love you too," she murmured in response. No matter how many times she told me that, I never got tired of hearing it….but every once in awhile, I had a wave of guilt wash over me. No matter how much I meant those words when I told them to her, her words weren't meant for _me_. She really loved the other me; I had brought nothing but grief and pain to her. But it was my new life goal to be worthy of her love, and I refused to fail.

….

I managed to stall our departure until that evening, but no amount of sex could quiet our stomachs, so we dressed for dinner and then went out to see what we could find.

"So, I looked up some restaurants close enough to walk to, and I found a few," she told me as we began walking away from our hotel.

"Um… how about this one," I said as we passed a small bistro.

"It looks like a coffee shop," Bella said, confused as to why I'd want to go there for dinner.

"No, see they have…sandwiches and… pastries," I said pathetically.

The truth was, I just wanted to avoid every place I had ever been before on the off chance that someone may recognize me. I didn't really think it was possible, but I still had no idea how I ended up with Bella in the first place, so perhaps Forks was just an isolated episode of the 'Twilight Zone', and everywhere else was normal. It was a stretch, but so was my entire 'reality', so I didn't want to take any chances.

"Uh…well, let's keep it in mind in case we don't find anywhere else to go," Bella said dismissively.

"I don't know, I think we're walking away from a great place," I said, but we continued on regardless.

We walked a few blocks more, and all the while Bella was looking at the buildings around us in awe, but all I could look at was her.

"_Gosh, isn't this amazing?" she'd say._

"_Incredible," I'd respond while staring at her face_.

It was a nice little walk, but our hunger wouldn't allow us to go much further.

"Oh, what about here?" she asked.

"Uh…this place looks really expensive," I said quickly.

"That's ok; I budgeted for a couple nice restaurants while we're here. Come on, let's go in," she said, and didn't wait for me to protest before pulling me inside.

With it being a Wednesday night, with no particular holiday near to attract tourists, we only had to wait forty five minutes to get a table, which was rather quick for a walk up in that particular restaurant. I hadn't been a frequent patron there, but I knew of it and knew the type of people who dined there on weeknights.

We sat down at our table, and looked through the menu.

"Uh…" Bella said confused.

"What?"

"There are no prices," she whispered.

"No, it's all market," I told her.

"And how do you know?" she asked amused.

I shrugged. "Time Magazine," I told her, which made absolute no sense, but she didn't question me on it.

As we settled in and ordered our meals, both of our demeanors changed. I was in my element; the lavish setting and fine dining was what I was used to, so my entire body reacted. My posture straightened, and even the tone to my voice stiffened to match. But Bella was the opposite. She was fidgety and antsy, and kept looking around anxiously and forcing herself to straighten her back and shoulders.

And then she spilled her water.

"Oh god," she said mortified.

"Babe, relax," I told her as the waiter came to clean up her spill.

"I'm so sorry," she kept apologizing to the man.

"Bella, it's fine," I assured her.

I hadn't seen anyone as uncomfortable at a table since the first time I was at a restaurant like that. I was in my junior year in college, when the company I was interning for took me and a few others out to a gourmet restaurant. I was a total embarrassment, my lowest point being when I caught my napkin on fire from the candle lit there. But I learned, and I was sure Bella could too.

"I just don't know how to act here," she explained. "Why are you so calm?"

"What's the worst that can happen?" I asked her. "We make asses out of ourselves, and then leave and never see any of these people again. So, the way I look at it, _fuck them, and let's have a good time._"

She smiled at me. "You're right."

She relaxed after that, and we finished the rest of the meal without any more problems.

…

The next day we did the tourist thing and went to see the Statue of Liberty, which was actually a first for me. I never had time for such trivial sightseeing spectacles, in fact, I never had time for anything other than work and the occasional drunken night at a club. Seeing the city with Bella was definitely a new and surprisingly exciting experience. I didn't even get irritated by Bella's souvenir shopping, the way I would have with anyone else.

After the Statue of Liberty, we went to Times Square and just walked around a bit, always holding hands as we went. We lunched in a casual restaurant, and got salted pretzels off a street vender. We laughed the whole day, and kept taking much needed make-out breaks. It was all going so well, that I even managed to forget my worries for a few hours.

And then it was dinner time again….and that was the beginning of my two worlds colliding.

"Ooo, let's go here; the sign says it has the best calamari," Bella said excitedly when we passed by a little eatery.

"Uh…babe, we live in Washington, nowhere has better calamari than us back home."

"Oh, come on," she said, and walked inside.

We were seated at a table, and took a few minutes to look over the menu, and then the waitress came… A waitress I was all too familiar with. Her name was Hilary, and she was just one of my regular casual hookups I had in addition to Tanya. She was fun and spunky, and a little too clingy for my taste…which was only going to lead to mayhem if she recognized me.

_Shit!_

So the moment she asked us for our order and I realized who she was, I ducked.

"Honey, are you ok?" Bella asked me.

"Yeah, just dropped my napkin," I said from under the table.

"Um…ok, did you find it?" Bella asked when I still didn't get up.

"Yep," I said and then sat back up, but buried my face in the menu. "We'll have the calamari to start and then I'll have the special," I said in a rush.

"Ok, and you ma'am?" Hilary asked Bella.

"Uh, I'll have the mushroom ravioli."

"Excellent choice," she said and then took Bella's menu - and tried to take mine as well - but I wasn't going to let her have it.

"Oh, I'm still using it," I told her while pulling it back out of her hands.

"Um, ok," she said, and then walked off to put in our order.

"Is everything ok?" Bella asked me worriedly after I finally put down my menu.

"Yeah, why?" I played dumb.

"Wow, you're sweating," she said concerned, and then she reached over and felt my face.

"I'm fine, it's probably just…jetlag. But…maybe we should turn in early tonight anyway."

She nodded. "Yeah, that's probably a good idea."

Bella and I made small talk, but I was having a really hard time paying attention to her because I couldn't help but keep my eye out for Hilary. I needed to come up with an excuse to leave the table when she brought the food, and I was completely consumed with trying to come up with excuses.

When Hilary was serving the table adjacent to us, my nerves reached an all time high. She would probably be coming back to our table next, and if she recognized me, I had no idea how the hell I was going to explain it. How do you tell your wife who you've been with for fourteen years, that the waitress was a bitch you dated a few months prior? The thought made me nauseous.

"Were you seriously just checking out that waitress right in front of me?" Bella asked abruptly, trying to be offended but looking rather amused in spite of herself.

"What? No," I said quickly, really hating that she had come up with such an erroneous conclusion. "I was just wondering what's taking so long, that's all."

"Uh huh, sure," she said while shaking her head slowly.

"Babe, I wasn't, I swear."

"Edward, it's fine. You're only human; you have every right to find other women attractive. I just can't believe you're doing it so obviously."

"Bella, I'm not denying it, if I was checking the chick out, I would say '_damn, you caught me'_, but I'm not."

"Ok, whatever, lets' just drop it," she said with a smirk, still not believing me.

But then it happened. I lost track of Hilary, and suddenly she was standing in front of me; escaping was impossible.

"Sir, can I get you a refill?" she asked me…while looking me dead in the eye….and not recognizing me whatsoever.

I breathed a momentary sigh of relief, but then there was another problem. I looked at her nametag and noticed that it read 'Heidi', and not 'Hilary' like I had thought. – _Was she not the same girl I was thinking of?_ She looked exactly like her; I could even still clearly remember the face she made when climaxing, as well as the annoying way she'd laugh through her nose.

I was confused more than ever, and once again, questioning everything.

On one hand, I was never the best with names, so I could have been remembering it wrong; Heidi, Hilary, it was close enough. But perhaps I was right before when I wondered if my entire New York life was actually the dream. The waitress, the shoe shine guy, all the places I thought I knew; perhaps they were all just projections of the dream that I had confused with reality.

If I didn't see the waitress's face, would I have remembered her? If I didn't read Alistair's nametag, would I have known his name either?

The whole thing was giving me a migraine.

"Honey…Honey….Edward!" Bella said, a little louder than normal.

"Huh?" I said, wondering why she was on the verge of yelling.

"You're completely zoned out."

"Oh sorry," I said absently. "I'm fine," I told Hilary/Heidi, who was still waiting to know whether I wanted a refill or not.

As much as I was trying to relax and enjoy the meal, I couldn't stop my brain from moving a mile a minute. I needed to figure it all out, and I needed to do it before I left New York if I was ever going to be able to live without worrying that my other life was going to come back to bite me in the ass.

The waitress was a lost cause. I felt like I remembered her clearly, but the name threw me, so I needed to find someone that I knew well, and most certainly knew me in return.

But I was running out of time in the city, so the next morning I decided to try something drastic. "So…I booked you an appointment at the hotel spa for the morning," I told Bella when she got out of the shower.

"Why would you do that?" she asked confused. "I thought we were walking Central Park today?"

"Yeah…but I thought a spa treatment would be nice first."

"And, what are you going to do while I'm at the spa?" she asked with playful suspicion.

"Ok, don't get upset…. I just want to go down town to talk to someone about investing in the vineyard."

She looked at me skeptically. "Invest in the vineyard? What makes you think you can find someone to do that?"

"Yeah…see, Emmett has a…friend who works in a big company here, and he's hooking me up with a meeting," I lied horribly. "Look, I know this is our anniversary trip, and doing work of any kind is _horrible_…but I just don't know when I'll be able to get another chance like this."

She narrowed her eyes at me, but then she sighed. "You know I'm not a big 'spa' person. I would have rather gone with you to the meeting."

I smiled at her. "The fact that you don't like to go is exactly why you should. You need to be pampered and learn to relax every once in awhile."

She rolled her eyes at me. "Ok…but promise me you won't be gone all day. We leave tomorrow and I don't want to waste time being stuck inside for too long."

"A couple hours, tops. I'll probably be done before you are."

"You expect me to be at the spa for a _couple hours_?" she asked incredulously.

"Heck yeah - massage, facial, nails, hair….it'll take a few hours at least."

"Edward, all that is going to be too expensive. Can't I just…wait in the hotel?"

"Absolutely not. You are going to the spa, and you're going to relax, and you're going to enjoy it."

She grumbled quietly, but didn't argue any further. I walked her down to the spa, and then I went out to the street to get a cab.

The drive from the hotel to my office didn't take too long, but when I got there, I started having second thoughts. I really just wanted to go straight back to Bella and beg her to let us go home right away, and try to never think about my old life again, but I knew that wasn't possible. I'd always think about it, and I'd always worry that one day I was going to lose everything.

I could never be sure that I would never return, but I could figure out if I was in danger of someone outing me, so that's what I intended to do.

I walked through the doors of my office building, and looked at the directory on the wall. "Cullen Enterprises," I read, and then looked for the name of the CEO….it said 'Jackson Whitman'. "Holy shit," I said to myself.

That was enough proof for me. I was in a completely different world, and no one from this place would know me. I was satisfied with that, but call it fate, or just dumb luck, but at that moment, Jackson walked past me, and I couldn't stop myself from talking to him.

I should have just let him pass. He glanced at me and didn't know me, so I should have left it at that, but I was an idiot and decided to talk to him.

"Jackson," I said, just as he was about to exit the building.

"Yes?" he stopped to look at me, obviously having no idea who the hell I was.

"Hey man, it is you," I said confidently. In this world I had never met Jackson, we didn't go to college together, and we had never even crossed paths, but I was about to make him think that we had.

"Yeah…I'm sorry…," he said, confused as to why I knew him.

"Edward…Edward Masen. We were frat brothers…Beta thetas," I told him. Rule one in business was to act like you know things even when you don't, so I knew Jackson would play right into my hands.

"Yeah…Edward…?"

"Masen," I 'reminded' him. "I was the one who gave you the idea about changing your name from Jasper."

"Edward…that's right," he said with a confused nod. "Sorry, I've been a little distracted lately. How are you man?"

I was a hundred percent sure that he still had no idea who I was, but he was going to go along with it simply because of how confident I was.

"This is such a trip, I was just thinking about when Ben jumped in that fountain on the west campus buck naked in the middle of December," I continued on, just to seal the deal.

"Yeah, that was funny," Jackson agreed. Even back in my 'world' I wasn't in Jackson's frat, but he told me enough about it to make it believable. "So, how have you been? I have to meet my fiancé right now, but it would be great to get together."

"Well, I'm here from Washington, and we're leaving tomorrow. Too bad, it would be good to catch up."

"Yeah," he paused to look at his watch. "Do you have some time now? My fiancé just wants to meet for ten minutes or so to go over some wedding details, but after that I'm free."

"Ok, sure. Is there some place you want to meet?" I asked.

Even though I'd gladly trade my friendship with Jackson for a life with Bella, I guess I still wanted to know that he was happy in this world too. After I left New York for good, he was probably the only person I would miss, so it was good to see him one last time.

"Why don't you just come with me? It really shouldn't be too long," he suggested.

"Yeah, ok," I said.

We walked to the trendy cafe where he was meeting his fiancé, but when we got inside, I was definitely shocked.

"There she is," Jackson said, pointing to a blonde with her back to us.

_Uh… when the hell did Alice become blonde?_

We walked over to the woman, and Jackson tapped her shoulder, so she turned around.

_Holy fucking shit…._

"Edward, this is my fiancé Tanya; Tanya, this is an old college buddy of mine, Edward," Jackson introduced us.

She glanced at me carelessly, and then glared at Jackson. "I thought we were supposed to go over some things," Tanya bitched, just like she would have at me in that situation.

"You said it would only take a few minutes. I just wanted to catch up with my old friend before he leaves the state."

She huffed. "Fine, whatever."

"You know, I'll just wait outside," I told Jackson.

"No, you don't have to go," he said quickly back, almost as if he was desperate for me to not leave him along with the bitch. I didn't blame him.

"Ok," I said, and took a seat.

Watching them interact was a complete trip, and as much as I was glad it wasn't me, I did feel horrible that Jackson got stuck with her instead. If I could do one thing for my best friend, it would be to convince him to leave her before it was too late.

When they were finally done, Jackson and I walked out, and he grabbed my shoulder. "I hate my fucking life," he said quietly.

"Yeah…Uh, your fiancé is…something else," I told him.

"She's a complete bitch."

I nodded. "Bosses niece, huh?"

"How'd you know?" he asked surprised.

"Just a guess. Hey, did you ever have a secretary by the name of Alice Brandon?" I asked him.

"Alice Brandon?...Doesn't ring a bell."

"Short dark hair, really bubbly?"

He thought about it for a minute. "Actually, I think we did have a secretary like that. She was really sweet, but.." he shrugged.

"But what?"

"Tanya didn't like her, so she had her uncle fire her," he explained. "Why?"

I had no explanation. – "No reason. Look, I know it's not my place, but that woman is going to make your life miserable."

"I know, but what the hell am I supposed to do?"

"Have you ever thought about branching out on your own?" I asked him. That was his path in our other life, and he seemed to enjoy it, so I figured he could do it there as well.

"I guess I've thought about it…But I make far too much money to do that."

"I hear you. Although, anything would be better than wasting your life away with Tanya."

He nodded. "So, what is it that you do now?" he asked, changing the subject.

"Uh…I run a garage, and own a vineyard with my father."

"Oh…that's…nice," he said, trying to be polite. "Family businesses can be tricky though."

"Yeah, it's not going too well."

"Well hey, do you have a business license? We have an opening at Cullen Enterprises, and it could be a really great opportunity for you," he asked unexpectedly.

"What's the job?" I asked curiously, not really expecting much.

"Well it's for an account executive. Starting pay would be 350K, but there's plenty room to grow. I'm looking for someone I can trust and has aspirations of moving up in the company. "

Three hundred and fifty grand a year wasn't what I was used to making at that company, but combined with the potential of growth, it was very appealing. It would be basically starting over, but I actually really didn't mind.

"Is there a position at the west coast office?" I asked hopefully.

"No man, I'm sorry but the position is for here in New York. Would your family be up to moving?"

It only took me a moment to realize that I could actually have the best of both worlds - literally. Being with Bella and the kids was what I wanted, but if there was a way to have that combined with the job I had always enjoyed, then I was definitely going to take it.

"Um, I'm sure I can convince my wife," I said, trying to control my enthusiasm.

"Well, the job comes with a four bedroom condo in Manhattan as an incentive."

"Are you shitting me?" I asked excited. "That would be perfect."

"Do you have kids?"

"Yeah, three."

"Well, the best schools in the country are here."

"Ah man, that would be perfect," I said again.

"Well, here, this is my card. Go talk to your wife, and then give me a call. I can meet you guys at the condo tonight to check it out, and if you'll be here in the morning, I'll set up an early meeting to give you an official interview and offer."

"Wow, that would be great. Thanks Jackson," I said sincerely.

I took his card and then got a cab to take me back to the hotel, all the while my entire body was buzzed with excitement. I would be completely fine if I was stuck working at Emmett's garage for the rest of my life because I had a family to go home to every night, but the idea of having a job that I loved _with_ the family, was absolutely irresistible.

That was the reason why I ended up in that world. It wasn't to give me a shitty job with a mountain of debt in the butt crack of Washington; it was to give me a family, and to bring them back to New York so I could give them a better life as well. I was sure of it.

It was my two worlds colliding in the best way possible, and I couldn't imagine anything better than that.

*****Coming up next - Bella's reaction to Edward's plan….I'm sure you can guess how that will go ;)**

**Please Review**


	13. Regrets

**Spinning Bottles**

~Chapter 13 – _Regrets_~

"So, how'd it go?" Bella asked me when I got back to the hotel.

"Great….Wow, you look amazing," I said as I noticed the way her hair was done.

"Thanks, but…"

"See, I knew you would like the spa."

She shrugged. "It took me a while to get comfortable with having a big brawny man rubbing down my bare back…but I got used to it…Although, I think my boob might have popped out a few times. The guy was really handsy." she said casually.

I didn't respond verbally, but I could feel the jealousy creeping in, and I was sure it was written all over my face. _The massage was definitely a bad idea. I didn't want anyone touching my woman like that except me_.

She smiled at my disturbed facial expression. "You're so funny," she said, knowing exactly what was bothering me; we both knew she said it on purpose. "Maybe that will teach you to force me into something like that again."

"Let's just…not talk about it anymore," I said through gritted teeth, but she just giggled again. "Are you hungry? Cause we should head out if we're going to have enough time to walk Central Park."

"Ok…but aren't you going to tell me about the meeting?" she asked, refusing to let me avoid the topic.

It wasn't that I was nervous to talk to her about it; I just figured it was best to show her the condo first, before she had a chance to form an opinion on the matter.

"There will be plenty of time to talk about the meeting, but not much more time to see the city," I told her. I didn't give her a chance to protest anymore, I just grabbed her hand and towed her out of the room.

We tried to squeeze whatever sightseeing we had left into the remainder of the day, which was good because it kept her from having a chance to press the meeting topic. But then we headed back to the hotel to dress for the evening, and I managed to discreetly text Jackson to set up a time to go see the condo.

He first told me to head over right away, so I planned on telling Bella we were going to dinner and then just surprise her with the condo when we got there, but then he texted back to ask if we could push it off another fifteen minutes, which didn't make a difference to me. But the buzzing back and forth from the texting didn't go unnoticed by Bella, and once again, she came up with the wrong conclusion.

"Ok, what's going on?" she asked frustrated, and far more upset then she was trying to let on.

"What do you mean?" I played dumb.

"You hate texting, and now all of a sudden you're having a texting conversation with someone?"

"Uh…"

"I just don't get it. It just seems to me…." She let her sentence trail off, but I really wanted to know what she was thinking.

"What? Just say it," I encouraged.

She took an unsteady breath. "You know I'm not one of those jealous paranoid types….But first you were eyeing that waitress last night, then you suddenly have a spa treatment for me so you could disappear for a few hours, and then you refuse to tell me about the so-called meeting…And now you're texting."

"Hold on," I said, really thinking I was understanding her wrong. "What the hell are you accusing me of?"

"I don't know," she said on the verge of tears. "You have been so distant lately, and then we come here and you're being all secretive. I just don't know what to think anymore."

"Yes you do - You know exactly what you're thinking, so just come out with it," I urged her. I had no idea why the hell I was getting so upset, Tanya accused me of cheating all the time, but at least she was up front about it. I really couldn't stand all the innuendos, and the fact she even thought I would do something like that was a kick in the gut. For the first time since high school, I had no desire to cheat on who I was with, and I hated that she would think otherwise, especially with how close we had gotten in the past few days.

"I don't want to fight, I just want to know what's going on," she dodged my comment.

"No…say what you're thinking." When she still didn't say anything, I continued. "You actually think I went off to bang some slut waitress."

"No, I…"

"You're right, you caught me. I had sex with you this morning and twice last night, but for whatever reason, I guess I needed another fuck. So I slipped the waitress my number and told her to text me so we could meet up while you were at the fucking spa…And then I was just texting her again to make another date. Sorry, but I'm just a sex addict, it's not my fault," I said condescendingly. "I mean really Bella; do you honestly think I have the stamina for something like that?"

She just stared at me with pain plastered all over her face, and it absolutely killed me.

"Bella, I'm sorry," I said quietly. "I swear, I didn't cheat on you."

"Have you ever?" she asked, taking me aback. "Have you ever been with someone else?"

Fuck.

Those were two different questions with two very different answers, and I had no idea what to tell her. My hesitation just upset Bella even more.

"Oh my god…you have," she said brokenly.

"No…yes…"

"Yes?"

"No! Bella, you know I wasn't a virgin when we started dating. I was a teenage…horny…loser. I was drunk at that stupid Lot most of the time, and I don't even remember some of the girls I was with. I regret every single one of them, and I am so glad you came back into my life when you did… You saved me back then, you know that."

"But that's it?"

I stepped forward and cradled her face in my hands, and then looked deep into her eyes. "I swear to you, I have never cheated on you. I love you, and for you to even think…"

"I'm sorry, I know that, I'm just…I just don't know what's happening anymore." She pulled away from me, and then began pacing the room. "Just tell me what's going on."

I nodded. "I have been distant lately, but it's not about you. I just keep thinking about what life would have been like if we lived here."

"Okay?" she said slowly.

"I did have a meeting…And I was offered a job."

She stared at me in shock for a moment. "A job…_here?_"

"Yeah, it's for a major company here. Well, I wasn't actually offered the job, I have to go in for an interview, but I know I can get it."

"And how are you going to do that? You don't have a college degree."

"I know, but I figured all I have to do is take the test and if I pass it, I'll get licensed."

"Do you really think you can pass that test though? It's supposed to be just as hard as the Bar. You haven't studied in years."

"I can pass it," I said confidently. "And I will get the job, I know I can. The schools are amazing here, and the job comes with a condo…That's who I've been texting, the guy who wants to show us the condo," I explained.

"Hold on…this is all happening too fast. You actually expect us to all move here…like soon?"

"Yeah. I mean, it was always our dream right?"

"It was always _your _dream," she murmured.

"Bella, we could have really great lives here. I'll be making so much more money, it'll give Alec a new start and a chance to make some new friends, and you can finally get a real job."

"A real job?" she asked incredulously. "I have a real job, I like my job. And Alec likes his friends."

"The kid is constantly getting into trouble, new friends could only be a good thing."

"But Carlie loves her school, and what about your dad and all our friends?" she said anxiously.

"She'll love school here more, and we'll still see my dad and everyone else. With the kind of money I'll be making, we'll be able to afford to fly to Washington whenever we want. You won't even have to work if you don't want to."

"I want to work, I just like my job now," she argued.

I couldn't believe how much of a fight she was putting up about the whole thing. I felt like shit when she thought I was cheating, but now I was getting angry. She had a comeback for everything I was saying, and she refused to consider anything positive.

"You're being unreasonable," I told her. "It's like you're completely closed off to it before you've even had a chance to think it through."

"Fine, then let's think about it."

"Yes, lets… Starting with checking out the condo and driving by the school the kids would attend."

She stared at me for a minute, and then nodded. "Ok," she said quietly.

I texted Jackson, and because I was a dick, I showed Bella the text just to prove I wasn't cheating. She huffed, and then moved away from me.

When Jackson was finally able to meet us, we got into a cab and went to Manhattan to where the condo was located. God, I loved the city. The condo was just a few blocks from where my old one was, and I couldn't wait to see the inside.

Bella stayed quiet as we walked in, and I could actually feel the resentment radiating off of her.

"We're here to meet Jackson Whitman," I told the receptionist in the lobby.

"He's already here, go on up," she replied.

The tension was thick as we stood quietly in the elevator, and the fact that Bella refused to even look at me, I knew it wasn't going to go well.

When the doors opened, we walked out to the private hall and noticed that the condo was the only one on the floor…it was perfect; even Bella would have to agree to that.

"Edward, good, you found the place," Jackson said when we came into view.

"Jackson, hey, thanks for meeting us," I replied. "This is my wife Bella, Bella, this is Jackson."

"Nice to meet you," Bella said with a friendly smile and an awkward handshake. The strain between us didn't matter, Bella wasn't like Tanya, she wasn't a bitch and she wasn't about to be rude just because she was upset with me.

"Well, here, let me show you around," Jackson said.

The condo was less lavish than what I was used to, but that was the difference between a top level executive penthouse, and the nice four bedroom family condo. But for what it was, it was definitely appealing. A big open floor plan, gourmet kitchen, great views, four bedrooms, two bathrooms, and access to the roof. I was sold.

"This is awesome," I said enthusiastically when our tour was finished.

"I'm glad you like it. The school is in walking distance, and there's a great park around the block," Jackson told us.

"I can't think of anything else we would need," I added.

Jackson nodded, but then he looked at Bella. "You don't seem to agree."

"Oh, no, it's…beautiful. There's just…so much to take in, I'm a little overwhelmed."

"Well, you'll definitely need to take some time to talk it over and think it through. Moving across country is a big deal, you definitely don't want to take it lightly."

She smiled halfheartedly as a response.

"I have an idea. Why don't you guys stay here for the night…try it on for size. All the furniture here comes with the place…It's all brand new, so no one has ever used the beds, everything is clean. Just try to imagine yourselves living here, and we'll talk in the morning," Jackson offered.

"That's a great idea. Thanks J," I told him.

"Is eight am too early for you to make it in to the office for our meeting?" he asked me.

"No, that's perfect because we have a one pm flight we need to catch," I replied.

"Great, see you then."

Jackson left, and Bella and I just stared at each other uncomfortably.

"Say something," I said after a minute.

"What do you want me to say? This place is beautiful, and I can definitely see the appeal."

"But?" I prompted.

"But our entire lives are in Washington."

"We can build new lives here," I argued.

"Why? What is wrong with the way our lives are now?"

"Bella, give me a break. We are up to our armpits in debt, we live in a cramped cottage, and I work at a fucking garage. Forks is nothing but a drain; you have to see that."

A tear rolled down her cheek, but she quickly wiped it, and then turned away. She faced out the window to look at the buildings there, but I could still see her face reflected in the glass. She was terribly upset, but she was trying to control it.

"Ok," she said no louder than a whisper.

"Ok?" I asked, thinking I heard her wrong.

She took a deep breath, and then turned around. "Ok," she repeated. "If you really want this, then we'll do it. We'll take Carlie out of the school she loves, and we'll move Alec a country away from your dad and everything else that makes him feel secure. We'll change our lives completely if you need us to, because you have done nothing but support us as a family, so the least we can do is support you. What's important is the five of us staying together. Everything else we can live through."

"We can always go back if it doesn't work out," I tried assuring her. "But this will be a really good thing; you'll see."

She nodded again, and then wiped another tear. "Ok," she said somberly.

I hated that she was so upset, and I never wanted to be the reason for her to feel that way again, but at the same time, I was sure she would adapt and enjoy living in New York if she just gave it a chance. If I didn't believe it was best for all five of us, then I wouldn't pursue it so hard.

I walked over to her, and wrapped her in my arms tightly. "It'll all be great," I murmured in her hair before kissing her there. "I love you."

She held me back, and buried her face in my chest. "I love you too," she mumbled.

I moved my lips down to her neck, and she held the back of my head as I kissed her. She wasn't her usual motivated self, but she began unbuttoning my shirt just the same. I picked her up, and carried her to the bedroom. It was our last night alone for awhile, and even though Bella wasn't thrilled with the situation, we were going to take full advantage of our time there.

…..

The next morning, I kissed Bella one more time, and then got out of bed to get ready for my meeting. She was still sleeping, and I really didn't want to wake her…but she woke up anyway.

"You're leaving me here?" she asked as I was heading out the door.

"I'm just going to meet Jackson at the office. I'll be back in an hour or so."

"I think I'd rather go back to the hotel."

"Oh…well this is going to be our home, don't you want to hang out and get to know the place for awhile?"

She shook her head. "You have to get the job first."

"I will. Damn, have a little faith," I said playfully.

"Either way, our luggage is at the hotel, and we still have to leave this afternoon."

"You're right," I agreed. "Ok, get dressed and I'll ride with you back to the hotel before I go to the meeting."

"It's in the opposite direction," she argued.

"But I have to run by the hotel to get changed anyway. We might as well go together."

"You'll be late if you wait for me. I know the way, I'll just get my own cab to take me."

"You've never done that before," I said, unsure if I should leave her alone.

"Well, if I'm going to be living here, then I better get used to taking cabs places by myself," she said with a sigh.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine."

"Ok," I ran back over to her, and kissed her again. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

After hurrying to change at the hotel, I headed to my interview and felt extremely calm. I was in my element, and I was sure it would all go my way. Not having a college degree was definitely a strike against me, but there have been a few guys over the years that made it without them. It wasn't a requirement, just a preferred quality. But I could more than make up for it with my business know how, and my stellar selling skills. I wasn't worried.

But when I got to the interview, I was surprised to see Carlisle waiting to meet with me, along with Jackson. It was odd; in my world, all the hiring and firing was done by me, the CEO, but in this world, Carlisle seemed to be just as much a part of that process. Perhaps he didn't have as much faith in Jackson as he did in me.

But I knew exactly how to work Carlisle, probably even more so than Jackson. There wasn't a question I couldn't answer, and I was beyond confident as I told Carlisle and Jackson my long term ideas for the company.

Needless to say, they were impressed….well, Carlisle was anyway.

"You better watch out Jackson, Edward here is bound to take your position," Carlisle said with a laugh.

I even managed to make my lack of a degree appealing; it was all about the presentation, and that was my specialty.

So at the end of the meeting, I walked away with an even better paying offer, contingent on my ability to get my license, of course. But that wasn't a problem.

I was beaming with excitement, but as I walked out to the street to get a cab, Carlisle followed me out and asked to speak to me alone.

"Sure, what's up?" I asked him.

"I just have to say, you are exactly the kind of guy I've been looking for," Carlisle told me.

"Uh…what do you mean?" I asked confused.

"Listen, Jackson is your friend, so I don't want to talk bad about him… But the man just doesn't have what it takes. I keep him around because my niece is marrying him, but what I really need is someone like you to bring this company into the next bracket."

"Uh…ok," I said, unsure how else to respond.

"You do well in the position we're hiring you for, and in no time, you'll be promoted to Senior Vice President, and then CEO by the end of the year."

"And, what about Jackson?" I asked.

He shrugged. "You bust ass here, and I'll have no choice but to give you the position. I can't ignore the truth, he just doesn't put the time in, and if you do, then I'll have to give you his position. The board will insist."

"What if I don't want the position? What if I'm happy in the job you hire me for?" I asked curiously.

Carlisle laughed once. "We both know I'm not hiring you for that position long term. I'm hiring you because you are who I was looking for. I need someone with balls to run my company, not a coward like Jackson."

"What if I don't turn out to be everything you're hoping. I don't have a degree you know, I'm sure you can find someone else more qualified."

He shook his head. "The economy is finally bouncing back, but Cullen Enterprises still isn't doing as well as most. The more 'qualified' guys with degrees prefer to go to one of the abundance of other opportunities out there right now. I need _you_. Someone other companies wouldn't even consider because of your lack of experience; someone that can kick ass regardless."

I nodded. "I can definitely do that."

It was everything I had gone there to get, and more. It was better than I hoped. I wouldn't be stuck starting over in the company, I could just slip back into the top position right where I belonged. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity…well, twice in a lifetime for me, but still beyond amazing.

I reached out my hand for Carlisle to shake.

"We have an understanding?" Carlisle asked when our hands clasped.

"We definitely have that," I said with a smile. "Thanks for this amazing offer…but I have to turn it down."

"Excuse me?" Carlisle said confused. _We were both shocked._

"I'm sorry, I just can't take the job," I told him.

"I don't think you understand. I'm not offering the job that you came here to interview for. I'm offering you a piece of the company. I'm offering you a life that you and your family could only dream of."

"I understand perfectly. But the thing is…I just don't have it in me. Not anymore," I said vaguely. "Thanks for your time." And with that, I walked away.

The entire thing wasn't planned. I didn't consciously think about turning it down when I did, but as I waited for a taxi, I knew doubtlessly that it was the right decision. I wasn't past doing something as low as back stabbing Jackson to get what I wanted; I had done things just as wrong in the past, it was a dog eat dog world after all…but the truth was, I wasn't that person anymore.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I couldn't do any of it. As much as I was sure that Bella would adapt eventually to the city, I knew it wasn't where she belonged.

"_You have done nothing but support us as a family, so the least we can do is support you,"_ she had told me, and I should have realized right then that moving the family was the wrong decision. I had done nothing to support that family, the other me did, and the other me was happy living in Forks with the family he created, so it wasn't right or fair to drag them all the way across the country. New York was my life, not theirs, and if I was going to fit into their world, then I needed to do it their way.

When I got back to the hotel, I was relieved to see Bella's purse sitting on the bed. I wasn't sure why, but leaving her alone in the city was far more nerve-racking than it should have been. Bella was a different type of person, she was smart and strong willed, but she wasn't streetwise, and that was more than ok. The city wasn't for everyone, and even though I would always love it, I loved Bella more. She was willing to change her whole life for me, but it was me who needed to change, and I felt like I could finally accept that wholeheartedly.

"Bella?" I said while knocking lightly on the bathroom door.

"I'll be right out," she called back. When she opened the door, she looked like she had been crying, which just reaffirmed my decision that much more. I was such an insensitive prick for putting her through all that.

I wrapped her in my arms, and she just held me back tightly.

"Did you make it back here ok?" I asked without letting her go.

"Everything was fine," she mumbled into my chest, but then she pulled away and took a step back. "Congratulations," she said unexpectedly.

"For what?" I asked confused.

"You got the job…That's really amazing, I'm proud of you."

"Wait, how do you know that?" I asked confused.

"You left your cell here, and it was buzzing like crazy so I checked it thinking it was you trying to find it. But it was Jackson. He was texting to let you know how excited he is to be working with you."

I didn't even realize I had left my phone, but I wished I hadn't. I really wanted to tell Bella that I didn't get the job, just so she wouldn't feel bad about me turning it down, but I suppose honesty was always best.

"I turned it down," I told her.

"What?...Why?" she asked concerned.

"Bella…you and the kids, you belong in Forks…._we _belong in Forks. I know that now. I guess this was just a stupid…pipe dream."

"No, a pipe dream is something unrealistic, but you got the job. Edward, we'll be fine…I just need time to get used to it."

"No you don't. Bella, I already turned it down. Trust me, it's for the best."

"I don't want you to go through your life with regrets. You'll just start resenting me, and then…"

I pressed my lips to hers to shut her up. I needed to make her understand, and it wasn't going to happen if she kept talking. I kissed her for a minute, and then I pulled back but kept my hands on her arms.

"I love you, and I don't want to change our lives. I got there and listened to the offer, and realized it just wasn't going to work. You're right, there's nothing wrong with our lives the way they are, and changing things is just…crazy."

"We could make it work here," she said feebly, and fighting off a smile. She was happy we weren't staying, even if she refused to admit it.

"We could," I agreed. "But I would be working all the time, and hardly get to see you guys. That's not what I want. Our lives aren't about the job I do, but I think that if we stay here, that will change. I'm not willing to risk it. I'm not willing to work longer than necessary to get by, because our lives won't wait. And I don't want to miss any of it."

"We're really going home?" she asked with contained enthusiasm.

I smiled widely. "We're really going home."

* * *

><p><strong>****So what do you think of Edward's decision? Is he really turning around for good? - We'll see ;) <strong>

**I can't work for peanuts, but a review would sure be tasty! *This is me begging* LOL!**


	14. Hercules

**Spinning Bottles**

~Chapter 14 – _Hercules_~

I never thought it would feel so good to step foot back on Washington soil, but when our plane landed, it truly felt like home.

"So are we picking up the kids at Em's place, or is he bringing them to ours?" I asked Bella as I drove us into town.

She smiled at my eagerness. "We're picking them up there."

"Great," I said with a smile, but that smile quickly faded when I realized that I had no idea where Emmett lived. "Uh…"

"What?" Bella asked curiously.

"What would be the best way to get to his house from here?" I asked stealthily.

"Um, well, take First up to Powers, and then over to Birch," she suggested.

"Right, that should be faster," I agreed clueless. I knew where all those streets were, but I still had no idea where the house actually was.

When I drove onto Birch, I was shocked. I used to have a friend that lived on that street, but I had forgotten just how 'low income' the area actually was.

"You passed it," Bella said while pointing behind us.

"Oh, sorry…I must have zoned out for a minute," I told her and then turned the car around. I pulled up to the house Bella had pointed at, and really didn't know what to think. The place was clean, but tiny, and looked like it needed a ton of repairs. Seeing it made me hate my complaints about our cottage even more than I already did; it was a mansion compared to Emmett's place.

"Hey, there they are," Emmett said as he came out of the house. "Kids, your parents are here!" he called behind him.

"Mommy!" Carlie yelled while running out towards us.

I didn't even realize how much I missed her little face until she came into view, and I wanted nothing more than to scoop her up and just hold her tightly, but that move would probably scare her. She still thought I was an alien, and I suddenly became worried about how I was going to change her mind. I wasn't going anywhere, so she needed me to be her dad, not her dad's temporary other worldly replacement.

"Hey sweetie," Bella said excitedly as she hugged her. "We missed you sooo much."

When Bella released her to hug Anthony, she turned to me and just looked at me apprehensively. I was at a loss. I had no idea what she was thinking or how I should interact with her, so I did the only thing I could think of – I smiled and opened my arms. She hesitated for an extra moment, but then she smiled back at me and stepped into my embrace.

"I missed you," I told her quietly.

"I missed you too," she said…but she still wouldn't call me 'daddy'.

When I looked over to find Anthony, I saw that Alec had come out, and Bella was hugging him tightly. Alec didn't even try to hide his smile as she held him; I didn't even know he was capable of looking so happy.

"It's good to see you're not in jail," I teased him after they pulled out of their hug.

"Yeah well, I figured I should just behave while you were gone…you know, as an anniversary present," he replied with a grin. "But now that you're back, I can't make any promises. There's a freshly painted wall downtown that could sure use some tagging."

"Oh, you…" I grabbed him in a headlock, and ruffled up his hair. He tried to get out of it of course, but he wasn't as strong as me, or as tall – he had no hope of winning that one.

"How were they?" Bella asked Rose and Emmett. We had talked to them every day that we were gone, but I suppose the questions were necessary again now that we were face to face.

"They were perfect, as always," Rose cooed.

"Yeah ok, now tell us the truth," Bella said with a laugh.

"Nah, they were great," Emmett jumped in. "Nothing we couldn't handle."

"Well, thanks again for watching them," I told Em and Rose.

"Our pleasure, really," Rose insisted.

We took our kids home, and it really felt great to have our family all together again. We were just gone four days, but it felt exhaustingly long, and for the first time, I really understood just how empty my life was without them.

We ordered pizza and just laughed through the evening before settling in for 'family movie night'. Apparently it was a norm with the family; well, for everyone but Alec.

"Wow, you're hanging with us?" Bella said pleasantly surprised.

"My social calendar is open tonight," he replied.

"What are we watching?" I asked curiously. I couldn't think of a single movie I knew of that would be suitable for kids.

"Hercules," Bella said casually.

"Hercules? Do you really think something like that is good for the kids?" I asked concerned, thinking it was some kind of violent film.

"I agree," Alec jumped in. "Danny DeVito as a goat-man is an image no child should have to endure," he said like a smartass.

"Carlie and Anthony love this movie," Bella said with a smile and dismissive head shake.

We all sat and watched the movie, and I had to admit, it was far less torturous than I was expecting. I never liked cartoons, even as a kid, but this movie wasn't so bad, but then again, it could have been hearing the kids' laughs that really made the entire thing.

As the movie was reaching its climax, I couldn't help but notice something out of the corner of my eye - Anthony was copying me. Every move I made, every time I popped some popcorn in my mouth, he emulated it. It was actually hysterical, and left the others wondering why the heck I was laughing during the serious parts of the movie.

"What are you doing, huh?" I asked Anthony with a playful growl, and then grabbed him and pulled him on my lap and began tickling him. His giggles were infectious, and I think that was the moment I fell in love with him. Apart from the couple poop incidents, I really hadn't interacted with him. He was always either whining or quiet, but at that moment, he became my son.

My family – my _life_ was falling into place; Bella was happy again, Alec seemed more confident, and little Anthony managed to wiggle his way securely into my heart…I even somehow managed to like my dad again. My only remaining challenge was Carlie.

When the movie finished, I asked Bella if I could put the kids to bed, and she agreed with a surprised smile. After ticking Anthony some more and reading him a story, I kissed him goodnight, and then went into Alec's room.

"What are you doing?" Alec asked with concerned confusion.

"Tucking you in," I said casually.

"Uh…" he didn't have time to finish expressing his discomfort, because I quickly kissed his forehead and then tucked the covers under his chin.

"Goodnight sweetheart," I told him, and left him staring at me with his mouth gapping. I laughed to myself.

Last, I went to Carlie's room, and she watched me with suspicious eyes as I walked to her bed to sit.

"It's good to be home," I said quietly with a smile.

She nodded.

"I missed you," I added.

Again, she nodded.

"So, I was thinking, maybe it would be best if we forget the whole 'alien' thing. I think people will start to notice when you don't call me 'daddy'."

She looked up and narrowed her eyes at me.

"When is my daddy coming back?"

I anxiously ran my hand through my hair and adjusted my weight. "The thing is….I wasn't honest with you before when I said I was an alien. Carlie, I am your daddy; I haven't gone anywhere." It wasn't a lie…not really. Technically I was her dad; in fact, even a DNA test would say so.

She shook her heard ever so slightly. She didn't believe me, but she didn't call me a liar either - she didn't have to, her untrusting expression was more than enough.

"I need you to try to act normally around me," I told her.

She took a deep breath, but as the air came whooshing back out of her little lungs, it whistled. The noise was so innocent yet so heavy sounding, and once again, I was reminded the fact that I had probably left permanent emotional damage to her. It wasn't something she could forget, and the thought of her alien father would probably haunt her for the rest of her life.

I really hated myself.

"Maybe I'll try harder to pretend you're my daddy around other people…but you promised he'd come back, remember? I don't think he'd like living on a spaceship forever."

I nodded. "Probably not." I kissed her forehead and whispered "goodnight" before getting up and leaving the room. I didn't reaffirm my promise to bring her daddy back, and I was sure she noticed.

Damn, why the hell did she have to be so smart? It surely wasn't normal for a six – _almost seven_ – year old to be that bright.

Carlie was going to continue to be a challenge, but that was ok. I didn't deserve easy sailing; it was only fair that I had to work for a spot in her life. Her dad had six years on me, but I was intent on having the next sixty.

…..

The next day marked the beginning of a whole new week, and a whole new outlook and sense of enthusiasm in my new life. There was no longer any friction in my desires to be there anymore, and all I had to do was ease a way into normalcy permanently. It was actually quite exciting.

But when I got to work however, my mood was immediately soured by Emmett's strange behavior. He was uncharacteristically cold and bitter.

"What's wrong?" I asked him after he snapped at the third customer.

"Nothing, everything is perfect!" he yelled at me.

I felt for the guy. He always seemed like a calm person with a kind disposition, but there was definite change in him, and it seemed to happen in the past twelve hours or so. He was perfectly normal the night before when we picked up the kids.

"Em, come on, it's me. If I can trust you with all the shit I've pulled recently, then you can definitely tell me what's going on."

He huffed, and crossed his arms in front of him as if he was a hard ass, but then his face broke and he actually started crying.

_Uh….?_

I had changed a whole hell of a lot in the past couple weeks, but dealing with a crying grown man who was practically twice my size, was definitely something beyond me.

"We're going to lose him," he said puzzling.

"Lose who?" I asked. I considered just going along with it on the chance that it was something I should know, but he was too upset and I really didn't want to BS my way through it. He helped me when no one else could, and I at least owed it to him to listen to his problem honestly.

"Benny. The paperwork was supposed to come through and he was going to come live with us by the end of the week, but now it's all falling apart."

"Ok, what happened?"

"Well, turns out, he has three siblings, and there was an order for them to all stay together. No one told us that. Why the hell did they let us get to know him and bond with him if they were just going to pull him away like that? Rose thinks they did it on purpose…to get us to adopt all of them. Rose was crying all night. She kept begging me to take them all in, and you know I would, but….man you've seen our house. We don't have room, and we can't afford four kids. She's pissed at me, but I'm against a brick wall here."

I nodded. "I see." I really wanted to help him, and I really wish I had the means to do so. It wasn't fair. "Look, Em…if there is anything I can do…"

"No, there's nothing. It's just really heartbreaking, you know? I just don't know what to do. Rose and I are both devastated. We already love Benny like he was our own, but at the same time, we wouldn't even want to separate him from his siblings."

I couldn't help him financially, but I could offer him my support. "Listen, go home, spend some time with Rose and just try to come up with some kind of decision on the matter. I'll take care of everything around here," I assured him.

"Are you sure? You just got home, I bet you've got some serious jetlag."

"I'm fine. Go."

"Thanks man," he said, and quickly left for the day.

As I struggled to keep up with the orders of the day, I was reminded why I hated that job so much. It was mundane, but draining at the same time. I counted the hours until closing, and I only took solace from the fact that I would be making love to my wife in only a few hours. Bella was happy, the kids were happy, so that made me happy. I guess the job was of little consequence.

When I was finally finished for the day, I was excited to get home to be with my family, but of course, whenever something more could go wrong, it usually did. When I drove onto the property, my dad flagged me down before I could continue on to the cottage.

"What's up?" I asked him.

"The investors finally called, none are a go."

"None?" I asked incredulously.

"I really don't know what we're going to do. We need investors or we're going to fall under."

"Shit," I said to myself. "Ok dad, I'll think of something," I told him, and then flicked a wave and drove towards the cottage.

_Think of something?_ What the hell was I going to think of? I was in over my head, and the truth was, I really didn't know enough about the vineyard to properly sell it to potential investors. I had no contacts, and I didn't know all the ins and outs of the wine business. I was seriously fucked, and I briefly wondered if the other me would know what to do in that situation.

But I put it all aside for the evening, and just enjoyed my time with my family. I was shocked; Alec pulled out a notebook of some of his 'tags', and I had to admit, I was quite impressed. The kid had some serious artistic talent, and I decided then to push him in that direction.

"Art school?" he asked confused.

"You're sixteen, you graduate next year, and conventional college isn't for everyone. San Francisco has a great school."

The way I saw it, it was never too early to plan for the future. The kid just needed a goal to work towards, something to look forward to in order to be motivated enough to stay on track and out of trouble.

"Do you really think I can get in?" he asked.

"Alec, I'm not kidding, these are really amazing," I told him as I flipped through the book. "They'd be idiots to not let you in."

"What do you think dad would say?" he asked. There was an unexpected undertone of desperations in his voice; desperation for acceptance, I assumed. I hated it. I hated that my dad couldn't be more supportive of him, but at the same time, I actually understood it. As selfish as it sounded, he kept a distance for Alec's own good. He wasn't capable of being what Alec needed, and no one hated my dad more than my dad. I was Alec's 'father' figure; I could fill that void, I was sure of it, we were more than half there. But our dad – _my_ dad would have to forever live with the regrets he has burdened himself with.

In a way, I was selfishly thankful for all my father's shortcomings. He showed me what true regret looked like, and it was something I would never allow myself to fall into again.

"I think he would say it was a good idea," I told him softly. Alec smiled as a response, but my answer seemed less important to him than it would have previously. He wanted his acceptance, but he wouldn't allow it to effect him anymore. Bella and I were his parents, and we would continue to work toward solidifying that in his mind.

….

With the chaos of my daily life seeming to calm down, I found out that Emmett's was just beginning.

"We're doing it," he said to me at work the following week. His day off had turned into the rest of the week, which was fine by me. I hated work, but I owed him for the time he gave me.

"Doing what?" I asked.

"Taking all four." His excitement was definitely laced with fear and anxiety as he spoke. The man was actually shaking from the anticipation of it all.

"Wow Em, that's a huge responsibility."

"I know, going from no kids to four is definitely crazy. Tell me we're crazy Edward. Tell me not to do it," he almost pleaded.

I nodded. "It's crazy…but if anyone can do it, it's you."

"We live in a two bedroom house. How the hell are we going to pull this off?" he asked, heightening his voice to a near panic as the realization hit him full force.

"It's not a two bedroom _house_ Emmett…it's a _home_, which is more than the kids are used to."

"Yeah…but, where are they going to sleep?"

I thought about it for a minute. "How about out in your garage?"

"I can't do that," he spat disgusted.

"No, not as it is, but let's finish it. We'll get a couple of the guys from work, and we'll put in some insulation and bored it all up. We can probably make two bedrooms out there."

He nodded absently, but then shook his head. "I don't have money for that. I have to buy them all beds and clothes…god, the amount of food they're all going to go through…" he let his words trail off.

"It'll all work itself out."

He stared at me in shock for a minute, and then he smiled and slapped my shoulder with his hand. "There's my old optimistic best friend. I've missed you man."

Mr. Optimistic, I guess that was who the other me was. I was consumed with a mix of guilt and hate for him. I felt guilty that I was enjoying his life, but I never hated anyone more. Call it jealousy, but I didn't care. I hated him with a passion, and I realized it was out of fear that I could never measure up.

_Could I ever be as good as the other me?_

There was a small amount of resentment within me after that, and I would carry it with me wherever I went. They all loved that version of me more, and I knew I would spend the rest of my life trying to measure up. Perhaps it was my punishment for easing my way into a life I wasn't worthy of, a constant reminder that I didn't truly belong. I tried to ignore it. It was _my_ life now, and I wasn't going to give it up for anyone; not even for an almost seven year old who was way too observant, and definitely not for the more qualified other version of me. I was far too selfish.

Emmett was pleased with my confidence in his situation, but then his anxiety returned.

"What if they don't let us have any of them due to my low income? Can they do that?" he asked.

"I'm not sure. Logistically, I wouldn't think they would give the kids to people who can't really afford to feed them," I told him, which made his face fall. "But," I added. "Isn't there some kind of tax credit or government aid to help? I mean, the system wants to get kids adopted right?"

He nodded. "Yeah, but it really won't be enough to convert my home garage into two bedrooms. I just really don't know what we're going to do."

"It'll all work out," I told him again.

Despite how genuinely sorry I was for Emmett's stressful predicament, it just made me appreciate my own kids that much more. But it was still very difficult for me to accept that there wasn't anything I could financially do to remedy his problem. I wasn't used to the feeling of being helpless; I didn't like it, in fact, there wasn't anything I detested more about life there. Whenever there was a problem in my old life, I would fix it; there wasn't much that money couldn't rectify.

I realized then, that money was my power - Hercules's half godly strength, and when stripped of that force, I had no idea how to fight the Cyclops to save my friend. What did I have to sacrifice? Between the vineyard going down, and Emmett's struggles, I had to seriously tackle my thoughts of calling Carlisle back. I missed my hefty bank account, the way one would miss a passed on relative. I grieved the loss.

But I supposed titan sized struggles were normal to mid-class citizens; just barely making it by was how most lived. There were no godly heroes, and it really fucking sucked.

Through all the hardships of life in Forks, I was still consumed with a sense of peace. I wasn't lying when I told Em that I was sure it would all work itself out, things always seemed to do just that when surrounded by close friends and family as a support system. He would figure it all out, just as I would figure out the vineyard. It was a means of survival, and I was sure we would all survive.

But I should have known we hadn't hit the bottom just yet. Life always had a way of testing people's limits, and regardless of my new found optimism, I had an eerie feeling that my limits were about to be stretched beyond elasticity – and I was right. The titans were nothing in comparison; the battle with Hades loomed, and as I neared the one month anniversary of my new life, everything turned to complete chaos….

* * *

><p><strong>***What now? – For heaven's sake, can't this man get a break? LOL. Just remember how much we all loved to hate him in the beginning, and you'll realize that he deserves what he gets! ;)<strong>

**Please Review**


	15. Repercussions

**Spinning Bottles**

A/N: Mega Chapter Alert! This is a longer than normal chapter with a lot going on. I'm just warning you so you don't go into this one thinking it'll be a light read, just in case you were planning to rush though it on a break or something ;)

As always, thanks for following this story. Enjoy!  
>~KC<p>

* * *

><p>~Chapter 15 – <em>Repercussions<em>~

As I stood at the podium, I had to take a deep breath to steady myself. It had been the worst week of my entire lives-_both of them_- and I wondered how we could ever get back to where we were.

I looked down at my speech written sloppily in my hands, and I realized that I couldn't say any of it. The words just weren't right. I briefly wondered what the other me would have said, and I was actually sorry he wasn't there to grieve the loss.

I crumpled up the paper, and threw it over my shoulder.

Sweat beaded on my temple, and I could feel the moisture collecting under my arms. _Great_. Never had I been that nervous to speak since my first business presentation ten years prior. But suddenly I felt like the alien from Carlie's imagination, and I was in front of Area 51 scientists waiting to dissect me. It was completely nerve-racking.

I needed to find some strength, but as I scanned all the eyes staring back at me, I knew the strength wouldn't come from within me, it would come from her. We locked eyes, and she stared so deeply, so intensely into mine, and I found what I needed. It didn't matter that she was pissed and hurt by what I did, she was still my support, the source of everything that mattered.

With a subtle yet heavy nod from her, I began to speak…..

*****One week prior*****

"Hey, we need to talk about something," Bella said one evening after the kids were in bed for the night.

"Sure, what's up?" I asked with a playful grin as I tried to pull her into me, but she just pushed me away.

"This is serious. I need to tell you something."

"Ok," I said quietly, suddenly concerned that she somehow found out the truth – _Was I about to lose everything?_ The thought made me nauseous. "What is it?"

"I don't know how…but…" she turned and began pacing.

"Babe, you're killing me," I said anxiously, so she stopped and stared at me.

"I'm late," she whispered.

"Late?" I squeaked, sounding like a pubescent boy whose balls just dropped. I had feared that word in that very context for over a decade. As a single guy in the city having casual hook ups, there weren't many things that I was more terrified of than an unplanned pregnancy. I had never wanted kids, but after falling into fatherhood, I realized that there wasn't much better in life. Even in the short amount of time I had been there for, being a father was a joy I never knew existed before. An infant however, was completely different; a whole new level of anxiety.

But then I had a realization. An infant - a new life created from the way _I_ loved Bella. Me. From _my_ body. I loved Carlie and Anthony to the ends of all known universes, but this baby was different - mine. Something that the other me had no part in.

Suddenly I was beaming.

"Say something," Bella said nervously.

I was at a loss for words, so I stood there and gapped like a fish while I tried to collect my thoughts in order to form coherent sentences.

I wanted to hear her say it. I wanted reaffirmation that the timing of it could only mean what I already knew. "How…" I was about to ask _'how far along do you think you are'_, but she completely jumped to the wrong conclusion – again.

"I don't know HOW!" she yelled at me unexpectedly.

"Whoa, babe, what's wrong?" I asked concerned.

She closed her eyes, and then took a deep breath. "Sorry, my hormones are going nuts here. Why aren't you more concerned about this?"

"Concerned about what?" I asked meekly.

She stared at me for a moment, and a silent thought danced in her eyes, but she shook her head and dismissed it. "Edward, we decided after Anthony was born with all his digestive problems, that we weren't going to have any more kids. We barely make it now as it is, and his medications were so expensive. The doctors said that if we had another one, the baby would more than likely have the same issues …which is why you went and had a vasectomy."

_Uh…shit!_

"What about insurance?" I whispered.

"We have horrible insurance, and they won't cover the special formula. We're still paying the debt from all the credit card overages from before."

Suddenly we were in the same predicament as Emmett. Always stifled due to a lack of funds – what I wouldn't give for just half a month's salary from my old job.

"We don't know for sure the baby will have the same issues," I said quietly, trying to be _Mr. Optimistic_.

She began pacing the room. "I just don't get this, how could I have ended up pregnant? We need to go in and get you tested. I mean, there's a one percent chance of failure with vasectomies, but why now? You got it done right after Anthony was born."

_Yep, definitely my baby _

I was in a strange cloud of excitement and worry, and it was completely overwhelming. But I began to wonder what Carlie and Anthony were like as babies, and once again, I became jealous that the other me got to be there to see all of it. Their first breaths, first steps, toilet training - _well, I suppose I wouldn't have mind missing the toilet training_. But now I was going to get a chance to see it; to really know what it's like to be a father from the beginning. The finances would all work themselves out…_right?_

We spent the next two days reeling over the upcoming new addition to our family, and after a positive pregnancy test, I was over the moon. Bella was still confused about how it was possible, and I just played dumb, but I supposed I would have to come up with some sort of excuse eventually in order to get 'new' permanent birth control.

By Wednesday Bella's nerves had decreased. She decided to accept the baby as a miracle and not question it anymore, but she had to rein me in because I was so excited that I really wanted to tell everyone about it, and she insisted that we wait. I hated waiting.

"Why don't you come with me tonight," I suggested. It had been a long exhausting day at work, and I was feeling particularly clingy to Bella, but I wasn't sure why. I didn't want to be separated from her, not even for the few hours it took for League Night.

"We don't have a sitter," she said with a giggle as I kissed down her neck. _God, I loved the sound of her giggles._

"What if I can get a sitter?"

"Well, then I'd say I'm at your disposal."

"Disposal?" I said with mock offense. "Never baby."

She giggled again, and then pushed me away. "Go find a sitter."

"Already gone," I said, and then quickly ran towards the kitchen to get the phone.

I tried all the numbers in the phone book listed under 'sitters', but none were available, so I did the unthinkable and called my dad.

"You want me to babysit?" he asked surprised.

"Well, it's really not going to be very long. The kids will be in bed before we leave, so you basically need to hang out and watch TV, and just make sure the house doesn't catch on fire."

"I can do that….Thanks kid."

"Thanks?"

"Yeah, for trusting me. I know I haven't been very reliable in the past, but I promise, everything will be fine."

I had a moment of doubt, but I shrugged it off. _What could possibly go wrong?_

Bella was wary of my chosen babysitter, but I convinced her it would be fine. She always loved my dad, but trust was a hard thing for anyone when it came to him.

When we got to the bowling alley, we were met in the parking lot by Emmett, and surprisingly, Rose.

"I texted her," Bella explained. "If I have to sit by and cheer you guys on, then so does she."

We got out of the car, and Rose looked annoyed at Bella. "I can't believe you're forcing me to hang out here tonight. You have a sitter, we should go for drinks," Rose whined.

I wrapped my arms around Bella's waist from behind, and rested my head on her shoulder. "You can get drinks here."

Rose scowled at me. "The lounge here always smells like…sweat and BO."

Emmett laughed. "Two of your favorite smells, dear." She rolled her eyes at him.

"Oh come on, once you fill your house with all those kids, it'll be a while before we can go out again," Bella told her.

"Exactly, which is why we should go _out_…to somewhere else."

Bella laughed at her, and then we all went inside.

I was still horrible at bowling, but Emmett was past being shocked by it. I managed to get a lucky strike on my third up, but I guttered it on my next turn. I hated fucking bowling. But it wasn't about the game itself, it was being there with the guys - and this time, the girls, and was actually a pretty good time.

"Anyone want a drink?" I asked as I headed to the snack bar.

"Beer!" Emmett and Mike shouted at the same time.

"Ugh, I guess a Long Island," Rose said.

"Can you get me a Sprite?" Bella asked.

"A Sprite…like with Vodka?" Rose asked confused.

"No, just a Sprite," she said with a smile.

"I thought we were drinking?"

"Umm, not today," Bella said uncomfortably.

"Why?" Rose asked suspiciously. I didn't know Rose very well, she didn't live in town when I was there last in my world, but she seemed a little bitchy. I couldn't see the appeal in her at all, but Emmett loved her, and Bella seemed to enjoy her company, so I guess that was all that mattered.

Bella bit her bottom lip. "I just don't feel like it."

"Okay," Rose said slowly, and then suspiciously glared at her before finally turning away.

"We should tell them," I whispered in Bella's ear.

"No. They're trying to adopt kids because they can't have their own, so we don't need to rub it in their face that I get pregnant so easily that it even happens _after_ your vasectomy," she whispered in a rush back to me.

"They'll find out eventually."

"Not until they have their kids in their home," she replied.

I shook my head and sulked. I hated waiting.

I kissed her cheek, and then went to go fetch everyone's drink. It was a bad decision.

"You never showed," a woman said from behind me. Fuck. Even without seeing her, I knew exactly who she was. I turned slowly.

"It was a joke," I lied.

"My ass, it was," Redhead replied curtly.

"Right," I scoffed. "When the hell have I ever been serious about fucking you?"

"You were a few weeks ago. Right. Over. There," she said while walking her fingers up my arm and gesturing towards the lounge area.

I jerked my arm away from her. "Nope, that wasn't me being serious, that was you being a fucking slut with delusions set far too high."

She laughed humorlessly. "Maybe we should repeat that_ joke _to Bella, shall we? Bella, do you want to hear the hilarious joke Edward said to me a few weeks ago?" she asked while looking behind me.

I squeezed my eyes shut for a long minute in utter horror, and then painfully opened them and turned to face my wife.

"Hey baby. Did you change your mind about what you wanted?" I asked as casually as possible.

She wasn't buying it. "Actually, no, I'd really like to hear this _joke_."

"It's nothing," I said with hushed intensity.

"Doesn't sound like 'nothing'," she said bitterly.

Rose must have noticed the confrontation because she showed up behind Bella, and glared between me and Redhead.

"Vicky, why don't you go slut it up at a different venue," Rose told her coldly. "Edward doesn't want you, Emmett doesn't want you, hell, not even Mike wants you, so buzz the fuck off!"

"Well, Edward sure wanted me the last time we were together," Redhead rebuffed.

"Sure, in your dreams and our fucking nightmare," Rose said with a laugh.

"Well, then this is your nightmare come to life," Redhead said smugly. "Edward propositioned me when Jimmy was away on business. I told him that just because he was having problems in his marriage, that didn't mean he should throw away everything they have." She then turned to Bella. "Don't worry hun, I turned him down."

"Right, not in this universe, skank," Rose said strongly, and I practically choked on my own spit. Rose was more right than she could ever know, because in this universe, the other me would never consider cheating on Bella.

"You have got to be kidding me?" Rose said after watching my reaction. "You bastard!" she shouted at me. "What kind of fucked up…." She continued on with her verbal assault, but I really didn't care what she had to say, so I tuned her out. The only thing that mattered was Bella.

With a pleased smirk, the bitch Redhead turned and walked away. _I really wanted to take my bowling shoe off and throw it at her_.

I took a deep breath, and looked back at Bella. I told myself I was done lying to her, but perhaps I should one last time. She was pregnant, and knowing Redhead's words were actually true, wouldn't be good for anyone.

"Did you?" she asked impassively.

Rose finally shut up to listen for my admission. But I wasn't ready to give it; I just wanted the whole thing to blow over.

"I told you that I never cheated on you," I said dismissively. "The woman is just a bitch. Come on, let's get the drinks."

"I wasn't asking if you cheated, I was asking if you propositioned her!"

I swallowed hard and meant to tell her no as confidently as I was capable of, but I couldn't force the words out, and I ended up just staring at her like a moron.

"Yes, or no, Edward?"

"Nothing happened," I said no louder than a whisper. I wasn't capable of anything louder at that point.

"But you planned to?"

_Fuck. _

Again, I tried to say no, but the best I could do was a forced subtle headshake.

"Oh, you son of a bitch," Rose seethed.

"Rose!" Bella snapped. "Can you just give us a moment, _please_?"

"Sure, sorry," she said quietly, and then gave me a parting glare before walking back towards Emmett.

Bella and I stared at each other for a minute, but then she broke. "Why?" she asked with pain devouring her features.

"I don't know," I said honestly. I really didn't know anything at the time it happened. I was convinced I was stuck in some dream, I was pissed at the world, and I was still holding unjustified resentment towards her for the way our relationship ended. I was a moron, and I wished more than anything I could take it all back.

"I can't believe this," she said brokenly.

"Babe…I'm sorry," I said just as broken.

She shook her head, and then nodded – obviously confused. Her face was distorted in a torturous way, and it made my chest and stomach constrict in agony.

Not that it was forgivable, but I wished more than anything that she believed my truth. It may not get her to forgive me, in fact, she'd probably hate me even more for taking her real husband away from her, but at least she might understand just a little more.

"What am I supposed to do?" she whispered. "I really don't want to stand here with you right now. I want nothing more than to storm out of here and throw darts at your picture. But…."

I understood. She wanted to leave me – again. I deserved it. But she was torn because of my previous 'suicide' attempt. It really wasn't fair to put that kind of pressure on her.

"I never tried to kill myself," I murmured. "If you want some…time, I won't do anything stupid. I swear."

The last thing I wanted was to lose her, and I refused to let it happen. But if she needed some distance, than I would definitely give it to her. A few days…weeks…I wasn't sure what I could handle. I needed to come up with a grand gesture as an apology.

Tears ran down her cheeks, and then she nodded. "Just maybe…I don't know."

I stupidly stepped forward to try to comfort her, but she took a step back.

"Maybe just…a few days…or…I just don't know," she said again with a new round of tears.

"Bella…I swear, nothing happened. I was an idiot, and said some things that I wish I could take back….But I love you more than anything, and there isn't a single person I want other than you. I'm so, so sorry."

She nodded, but again, changed it to a head shake. "I just…need to think about everything. Just…please, don't…"

"I'm not suicidal Bella, I swear to you…. Can I drive you somewhere?"

"I don't know where," she said crying harder, twisting my chest even tighter into knots.

_Everything is going to be fine, she just needs a couple days to get control of her pain and anger_ – I kept telling myself over and over again.

"I'll go stay with my dad, you can stay with the kids in the cottage," I told her, knowing she wouldn't leave them.

"You hate that house," she argued feebly. She was right, I did hate my childhood home, which was probably the reason why we were all stuffed into the cottage instead of the big five bedroom Victorian.

"I'll deal," I assured her.

She nodded. "Ok," she whispered.

"Bella….I give you my word, _for whatever it's worth_, this will never happen again."

She suddenly stopped crying, and crunched her brows together. "It should have never happened at all."

"I know."

I drove Bella back to the cottage, but she wouldn't speak to me the entire time. I hated the silence. But in a way I was grateful she finally knew. It was a weight off my shoulders, not that I deserved that, but carrying around my guilt for what almost happened was horrible. No more lies – that was what I promised myself, and even though she didn't believe the truth about me being from a different universe, at least I told her. The redhead was my last lie, and it would never happen again.

Of course, in order for me to never lie to her again, she would have to give me another chance. -_Everything is going to be fine, she just needs a couple days to get control of her pain and anger._

I assumed the kids were all sleeping, so I didn't go in to kiss them goodnight, I just simply whispered an 'I love you' to Bella, but she didn't say it back. I didn't blame her, but I knew she still loved me regardless….at least, I hoped….No, I knew…maybe.

We would get through it, I didn't have a doubt.

I drove to the big white house on the other end of the property, and looked at it warily. I hated the place as much as I had as a teenager, and I briefly considered sleeping in the car instead. But then my dad's car pulled up behind mine. Fuck, I didn't want to deal with his meaningful scolding stories right then.

"Are you going to stay in there all night?" he asked me dryly.

"Haven't decided yet," I said through the car window.

"Get the hell out of the car, son. It's late." Obviously Bella had told him what happened already, otherwise he would never be so welcoming.

Like a sulking child, I did as I was told and followed him in the house. I blinked blindly as he began switching on all the lights while he walked through. When my eyes adjusted, I couldn't help but notice how nothing inside had changed, except for the thick layer of dust encasing everything.

"Well, now I know what to get you for your birthday," I mumbled.

"What?" he asked clueless.

"I duster."

"I have six. But what's the point, no one visits me here, so there's no need."

"Maybe people would come if it was clean…and you actually invited them in."

He shook his head. "I like my privacy…won't matter soon enough anyway."

"What the hell does that mean?"

He didn't answer me; instead he went and sat at the table. "Come and sit with me, son."

"I'm tired, I think I'll go to bed," I told him. I really didn't feel like one of his hypocritical lectures.

"Edward, sit!" he demanded. I narrowed my eyes at him, but for whatever reason, I decided to comply.

I braced myself, waiting for him to lay into me with more confusing questions and advice about Bella, - _Everything is going to be fine, she just needs a couple days to get control of her pain and anger_ - but he actually didn't go there.

"So, you still following baseball?" he asked casually.

"Um…not lately," I admitted.

"How's the bowling thing doing?"

I shrugged. "It's really not my thing, I only do it cause Emmett asked me to."

He nodded absently. "I wanted to try to spend a couple hours getting to know you again…it's been a really long time." And just like that, I was back to thinking he knew the truth about me.

"What's there to get to know? I keep fucking up my marriage," - _Everything is going to be fine, she just needs a couple days to get control of her pain and anger_ – "I still don't know what the hell I'm doing, and my bank account is the lowest it's ever been."

"Well, I'm sorry for your struggles son, and I really mean that. Tell me about the kids, how have they been doing?"

"The kids are great. Well, at least they were before my latest fuckup. I have no idea how they'll be in the morning. Carlie is excelling in reading, I guess having Bella as a mom influenced that," - _Everything is going to be fine, she just needs a couple days to get control of her pain and anger.- _"Anthony is almost done with his toilet training, hasn't had an accident in a couple Alec…he's doing better. He really wants to be an artist, and he has some serious talent."

My dad nods. "You're a good father, Edward," he said quietly. "The amount of excitement you have when talking about them is just so natural and honest."

"I wish I was as good at being a husband," I said under my breath. - _Everything is going to be fine, she just needs a couple days to get control of her pain and anger._

"Well, you're still new at it," he said casually, and then got up and began making some tea. I just stared at him with my mouth hanging wide, completely baffled but sure as hell that he knew the truth.

"But…will she forgive me?" I asked, figuring he was the only one who could help.

He nods. "Of course she will. She loves you, and she's had fourteen years with you to solidify it."

"I wish I had the same," I said hesitantly.

"You will get the hang of it eventually. See, us Masen men, we only need one thing to keep us sane….unconditional love. I had it from your mother, and when she was taken from me, look what happened. You and Alec are lucky; you both have that saint of a woman to love you no matter how bad you fuck up."

I couldn't help but smile slightly. "She loves you too."

"I know. She's probably the reason why I stayed in AA all this time. And she was the reason you gave up a multimillion dollar company to live in debt. Amazing what love can do, isn't it."

"The company is doing fine with someone else," I said reflexively.

"No, it's not, but you didn't really care about the company…You cared about the power it gave you to run away. You hid behind it, and now you can't hide anymore. Time to face your inner demons head on, son."

_How the hell does he know all this?_ – I considered just asking him outright, but for some reason, I just didn't.

I wasn't sure how he did it, but he brought me to this place, to this world, to this life, and even in my current issues, I was grateful. He had done nothing for me in my real life, so perhaps this was him making it up to me, and I had to say, he more than did so.

Yes, I forgave my father – completely.

We talked a little more about Bella and the kids, and I found it odd the way he spoke in regards to Alec. There was no awkwardness due to the fact that he was his semi-estranged son; he spoke of him with love, but it was on the same level as my other kids. He legitimately considered Alec to be mine, and it didn't even seem like a way to avoid responsibility. I guess it was a good thing – I wasn't quite sure.

It got late, and after several failed attempts to go to bed, my father finally sighed and decided he would let me go. We had been talking for hours, and he didn't seem to want to stop, but I was fucking exhausted. I needed to go to bed and try to think of something that would ease Bella's ager with me just a little. Lessen the sting of my betrayal. I was at a loss.

"Well, goodnight son. Thank you for the talk; I think I've been waiting for that for a long time," he said as I was about to walk up the stairs.

"Yeah, it was good," I agreed.

Then he shocked the hell out of me by grabbing my shoulders, and pulling me into a huge uncharacteristic hug. – I couldn't remember the last time I hugged my father in that way…if ever.

"I love you, son," he said while still holding me.

_How odd._

"I love you too," I said, shocking the hell out of us both. It was true of course, but still surprising.

He pulled back and looked me in the eye intensely. "Always remember," he said, and I nodded, confused more than ever."You are the best man I know," he went on. "But you will always be only as good as you allow yourself to be. Sky's the limit for you, my boy. Don't ever stop reaching for those happier times, and you'll be richer than any amount of money can buy."

I didn't know why, but my stomach did flips as a result of his words, and a sudden bout of anxiety consumed me. It was a similar feeling I had been getting every time I let my emotions break free, so I concluded that was what was happening again.

"I'll remember," I promised my father, and then I smiled reassuring to him, and went up to my old bedroom to sleep.

Since it was the middle of the night, I figured Bella was sleeping, but on the likely chance that she was just as upset as I was, I decided to text her.

**I love you – E**

I waited, not expecting a response, but less than a minute later, my phone buzzed.

**I love you too – B**

I smiled. I knew I shouldn't, I had no right to smile after what I put her through, especially since she was pregnant, but I couldn't help myself. My dad was right, she was unconditional.

**You shouldn't, I don't deserve you – E**

**You're right, you don't. We'll talk in the morning – B**

**I miss you like hell – E**

**Don't think I'm going to let you off the hook for this one very easily – B**

**I don't expect you to ever let me off the hook, in fact, I hope you remind me every day. Not that I could ever forget – E**

There was a long silence, and I was beginning to think she wasn't going to text me back, but then my phone buzzed again.

**I miss you too. I swore I'd never leave you again, now look where we are – B**

**Your leaving was completely justifiable…BOTH times – E**

There was another break in buzzes.

**Edward, I just really can't do this right now. Sleep well, we'll talk tomorrow sometime – B**

My chest constricted.

She went from 'we'll talk in the morning' to 'we'll talk tomorrow _sometime_'. She was upset -more than upset. I already knew that of course, but I guess I was just hoping she was doing better with it. She was probably crying alone in our bed, and nothing killed me more than the thought of that. I just wanted to go home and wrap her in my arms and beg for forgiveness over and over until I could no longer speak, but she needed some time.

_Everything is going to be fine, she just needs a couple days to get control of her pain and anger – _the thought that kept replaying over and over in my head seemed less confident. What if she didn't forgive me? What if everything wasn't going to be fine? What would I do if I lost her for good? There was no point staying in that world without her; the kids, the vineyard, it all meant nothing without her.

….

The bed was cold, and far too big. Wondering when the hell dad got a California King sized bed in my childhood room, I sat up and looked down at it…but it was only my old Full. It just felt too large, because by that time, I wasn't used to sleeping alone anymore.

It had only been a few minutes of lying there, and I already missed my little side of our Queen sized bed at the cottage. Bella tossed in her sleep, so anytime we weren't tangled together, I was cowering for dear life on the farthest edge. I honestly missed the feeling of her arm slapping against my neck, or her elbow digging in my rib cage. I always figured her nocturnal abuse was her subconscious telling her what a real bastard I was; what I did to her in our other life. Hating me in her sleep was far better than doing it awake; I could handle it, I deserved far worse.

I missed her noises as well, the way she purred and talked as she dreamed; she never failed at leaving me wondering what she was thinking. But more than anything, I missed her smell. Her natural scent was the most relaxing aroma therapy I had ever inhaled, and sleep seemed impossible without it.

I realized as I laid there, that I never really thought about our bed and the way we slept before. It was just a nuisance in the beginning, I never let anyone sleep with me back at my world, but it quickly became comfort, normalcy, and intimacy. - _God, I could never make it in this world or the other without her anymore. – _I needed to fix it, and quick before I went completely nuts.

….

The next morning I woke up with the sun – I didn't even realize I had somehow managed to fall asleep at all. I quickly checked my phone to see if there were any new texts from Bella, but of course there weren't. She needed space, I understood that.

With a deep sneeze and my allergies in full force, I noticed that the smell of dust was heavy in the room, and I briefly wondered how long it had been since the old man washed the sheets. The thought gave me the willies. Had I been in a normal frame of mind the night before, I would have never laid down on that disgusting bed. It was just a good thing I had been spending so much time with the kids, my germ-a-phob nature had definitely lessened.

I got into the shower to try to wash the dust grim off my skin, but all the soap was empty. _Wonderful_.

I went down to the kitchen and began rummaging in the pantry, but it was almost empty. I looked in the fridge, and the only food there was expired. It was disgusting, and I wondered how the old man lived in such conditions. I was extremely thankful Bella and I were the ones to take Alec in, no kid should have to endure that mess.

I decided to go shopping for him, but when I got into my car, I realized I was just about out of gas, so I went back inside to get the keys to my dad's old Chevy. But I couldn't find them, so I reluctantly went up to the old man's room to see if they were there.

When I got to the door, I paused. I hadn't been in my parent's room since my mother died, and I never thought I ever would again. I briefly considered waiting until I saw him and just ask for the keys, but I told myself I was being ridiculous, and knocked lightly on the door before opening it and peeking in.

"Dad?" I asked. I glanced at the bed and saw him still lying there passed out, which I thought was ridiculous. It was past eight, he never slept past seven unless….shit, the bastard was probably drunk. "Come on, old man. Get up," I said louder than necessary in order to wake him. "Dad!" I shouted when he still didn't stir.

The idiot was really wasted….Except he wasn't. "Hey," I said as I tried to shake him, but I realized it was of no use. I sucked in a sharp involuntary breath. "Shit," I croaked. He wasn't breathing. I tried to feel for a pulse, and as I did so, I noted how cold his skin felt, and I knew there was nothing to be done….

….

"Bella," I said quietly into the phone. I probably should have called the police or something, but all I could think to do was call her.

"Edward, I just dropped the kids off at school, and I'm heading to a meeting at work that I can't miss. Can we just…not do this right now," she said distractedly.

"Bella…" I repeated.

"Edward, please. I know we have a lot to talk about, but I just need time."

"My dad is dead," I said disconnectedly.

"What?" she asked, as if she didn't think she heard me right. "Edward, what are you talking about?"

"He's dead."

"No…honey, he's probably just…drunk or…"

"He's dead. I'm sitting in his room right beside his body. Bella, I don't know what I'm supposed to do?" I asked numbly.

"Ok, just…stay there, I'm on my way."

"Ok, I'll see you…"

"No, baby, don't hang up! Just stay on the phone with me until I get there," she said intensely.

Bella didn't say much else as she drove the ten minutes it took to get to the house, but just knowing she was there and hearing her breaths in the earpiece of the phone, was definitely comforting.

"I'm here," she said suddenly as I heard her car pull up out front. _'I'm here'_ - Bella's words echoed through my mind. She was always there when I needed her, and I just didn't know how I could ever be worthy of her.

I listened to the sound of her hurried footsteps as she ran up the stairs, and straight to the room I was sitting in with my father. As much as I wanted to see her however, I couldn't snap out of the strange daze I was in from the thought of my dad being dead. It was just so odd that I had that surrealistic talk with him just several hours prior. But more than grief, the entire thing was unnerving.

What did he know? Did he bring me there? What otherworldly secrets did he have still locked inside his now silenced mind?

I suddenly felt alone, as if the truth and the answers all died with him. It didn't matter that I was where I should have always been, with the woman I always loved, she was still foreign to me; someone who would always be slightly different because I wasn't from her world. Perhaps Carlie was right after all, perhaps I was an alien and my dad was my only link to the other place; the only unvoiced proof that I wasn't completely insane. I had no desire to ever go back to where I was from, but what if there was something left to know?

"It'll all be ok," Bella said as she hugged me tightly and rocked me against her. Her tears left wet stains all over my white T shirt, but I didn't feel the loss…not the way one should. I was numb, in shock, and completely bewildered by what was going to come next.

* * *

><p><strong>***Uh-oh! Change is on the horizon. What will the loss mean to Edward and the family? Hmmm. – the next chapter picks up back where this one started (at the funeral). <strong>

**Please Review**


	16. Saying Goodbye

**Spinning Bottles**

~Chapter 16 –_Saying Goodbye_~

_As I stood at the podium, I had to take a deep breath to steady myself. It had been the worst week of my entire lives-both of them- and I wondered how we could ever get back to where we were. _

_I looked down at my speech written sloppily in my hands, and I realized that I couldn't say any of it. The words just weren't right. I briefly wondered what the other me would have said, and I was actually sorry he wasn't there to grieve the loss. _

_I crumpled up the paper, and threw it over my shoulder. _

_Sweat beaded on my temple, and I could feel the moisture collecting under my arms. Great. Never had I been that nervous to speak since my first business presentation ten years prior. But suddenly I felt like the alien from Carlie's imagination, and I was in front of Area 51 scientists waiting to dissect me. It was completely nerve-racking. _

_I needed to find some strength, but as I scanned all the eyes staring back at me, I knew the strength wouldn't come from within me, it would come from her. We locked eyes, and she stared so deeply, so intensely into mine, and I found what I needed. It didn't matter that she was pissed and hurt by what I did, she was still my support, the source of everything that mattered. _

_With a subtle yet heavy nod from her, I began to speak….._

"My father was never the best 'family man'," I started, "he was always consumed with business…."

As I continued to tell the story of my father's life as I knew it, I realized that I wasn't actually talking about him, I was talking about myself. In that minute, the funeral was for both of us, him and me – the old me, the one from my old life that could no longer survive in that universe. My father died, and he took the man I used to be with him.

But as I continued to speak on autopilot, I wondered if whatever he did to bring me to that life, was what ultimately caused his passing. Did he trade his life to help me? Did he die so that I could live? Sell his soul to save mine? - The thought didn't sit well with me, but there was nothing I could do to change it, and the best way to honor him was to just be grateful and never forget.

"My father was a man who made some bad choices and went down the wrong paths….but he was a good man and loved the best way he knew how…" my sentence cut off mid speech as I noticed Seth walking in and handing everyone glasses full of ruby red wine.

I looked at him questionably, but he just shrugged. "Sorry Edward, your dad asked me in the event of his death that I serve Fork's Own during the eulogy," he whispered in a rush.

_Huh? _

I shook it off and tried to remember what I was saying, but then Seth handed me a glass and a thought hit me. The wine. My father's wine. 'Forks Own'. I had an unsettling flashback to my last night in my old life when I spent the evening drinking my father's wine, and then went to sleep only to wake up in a completely different universe.

It was the wine all along.

_Fuck._

I took my glass and tossed the liquid contents over my shoulder. I didn't even care that everyone was staring at me confused by my behavior, there was no way that shit was going to send me back.

But why would he ask to have it be served, and why during my speech? – The man was even more baffling in death.

Confident that I had dodged a bullet, I continued with the speech.

"Through all his faults, I can honestly stand here before all of you, and say the world is a better place because of him..."

I watched as Emmett raised his glass of wine in celebratory toast to my father's life. "To Senior."

"To Senior!" everyone else joined in unison.

I refused to touch the wine, but everyone was standing there waiting for me to join them in the toast, so I grabbed an empty bottle from Seth, and held it up. "To my father…thanks for everything," I said quietly towards the blown up picture of the old man.

I briefly took a minute to glance at all the pictures Bella had carefully chosen to display as a remembrance. Most were recent - him eating ice cream with Carlie and Anthony, him and Alec in an awkward posed stance, him and the other me working together in the vines – but there was also one of him and I together when I was younger with my mom. I remembered when the picture was taken, it was a happy day with the three of us at the beach, and I knew that would be the way I would always picture him…happy with my mother.

"When I was a kid, he was so…optimistic," I went on. "Anytime something would go wrong...he'd always smile and say 'magic vines, kid, magic vines'. It was his answer for everything, and somehow, things always seemed to get better. When my mom died…he didn't say it anymore, and I realize now it was because he lost faith…"

I took a deep breath, and looked back down at Bella. I understood it then, how a man could be so broken from losing the person who mattered most, because I would be in the same place if I ever lost her.

"Well dad…I hope you found that peace now," I reached my hand to his casket, and placed the empty bottle on top. "Magic vines, dad," I whispered, but when I pulled my hand back, I accidently knocked the bottle over and it toppled to the ground.

I expected it to break and shatter all over the floor, but it didn't, it just bounced once and began spinning.

_What the hell?_

It was like it was in slow motion, and I just stared at it for a moment completely dumbfounded… It had to be the strangest thing I had ever seen before. The bottle was spinning, and yet, I could read the label as clearly as if I were holding it up in front of me.

'Fork's Own 2000'

And then it hit me like a wrecking ball.

Every profound moment, every shift in my life had come from a spinning bottle. From my first kiss with Bella at thirteen, to deciding to move to New York, and then finally bringing me to this universe. – Each of those profound moments either brought me to Bella, or took me away.

It could only mean one thing.

"NO!" I cried and then threw myself down at the still spinning bottle in order to stop it. "No, no, no, god no. Please…" I kept repeating to myself as I held all of my weight on the bottle hoping to somehow undo the effects.

"Edward," I heard Bella say, but her voice was like an echo; she was instantly wrapped around me, but I only felt her through numbed limbs. "It's ok, baby," she murmured into my ear as she tried to sooth me.

I was in shock. _Did that really just happen?_ Did I just damn myself to a lonely life of nothingness? Surely fate wasn't that cruel. I didn't knock the bottle over, and it didn't go spinning on the floor. I was imagining it, and even if I wasn't, then I was being overly paranoid. That wasn't the way back, it couldn't be that simple….except, it was that simple, and I knew without a doubt that there was nothing I could do.

I looked up at Bella, and she had tears streaming down her face. I was sure she just thought I was having a strange erratic outburst of grief, but as she held me there, I begged her to understand. – Was there a place to hide from the curse? Could we outrun it? Would she even go with me if we could?

"Come on," she whispered as she began to stand and pull me up with her. "Thank you, everyone for coming," Bella announced to the onlookers, and then she walked me outside just as I was going into full blown panic mode.

"I…need…bottle….spinning….I ….can't…" I was panting, struggling to get the air in my lungs and my vision was starting to go blurry, but I refused to allow myself to pass out because I knew I would wake up somewhere else.

"Shhh, it's ok baby," Bella cooed. "Just breathe, everything will be fine."

I shook my head no, but I wasn't sure if it was noticeable with how much my body was trembling.

"Bel…Bella….I…need….we…need to go."

"What? Edward honey, you need to calm down, I don't understand you."

I took a deep breath, and forced myself to hold the air in to steady my breathing. It worked – sort of.

"The bottle…I spun it…I didn't mean to….I didn't mean to."

"Ok," she said calmly as if she was going to fix it. "I'm going to go inside and ask Rose to watch the kids. I'll be right back. Are you going to be ok for a minute?"

I nodded with uncertainty, and then she ran back inside, but before I could freak myself out again, she was back by my side.

I wasn't sure how we got there, but the next thing I knew, we were back in our bedroom at the cottage, and Bella was peeling my shoes off, and then my coat.

"Everything is going to be ok," she whispered as she gently guided me onto the bed, and there it was, that unyielding unconditional love in full force.

In the days since my father's death, I had busied myself with all the arrangements as well as business stuff pertaining to the vineyard, so Bella and I hadn't really had time to work out any of our issues. She was still deeply hurt by what I did, and I didn't blame her, I just figured we would have time to make things right….I was wrong.

Time was up.

"Bella….the bottle."

"Shh," she said soothingly. "Just try to calm down."

"I can't calm down," I said strongly. "Bella, you have to listen to me. The bottle, it's going to send me away."

"What?" she asked in shock. "Baby, what are you talking about?"

"I know you have no reason to believe me," I told her in panicked rush, "but…everything I told you in the principal's office…everything about my life in New York…I swear, it was all true. I didn't know how I got here, and I still don't really understand it, but I know it had something to do with spinning bottles. You sent it to me…the other you, the one I left and hadn't seen in twelve years. You sent me a bottle of my father's wine, and I drank it, and then spun it, and I woke up here with you."

I told her everything, completely pouring my heart out to her, and even though I knew she would never believe me, I just had to tell her again.

She sat beside me silently, and just listened. Her face was unreadable. When I was finished telling her everything I needed her to know, we just stared at each other intensely.

Even though she was unconditional, I expected her to shake her head at me, or slap me across the face, or get up and walk away….but she didn't, she leaned forward and wrapped me in her arms.

"I know," she whispered so quietly that I wasn't sure I heard her right.

"You know?" I questioned. "How?"

"As crazy as it sounds….it's the only thing that makes sense. I don't…understand, and my logical mind is screaming at me and calling me an idiot….but everything you were doing was so….out of character, and I started to think that perhaps you were telling the truth. And then there was your dad…"

"My dad?"

"When I went home that last night without you, he asked me what happened. I didn't want to involve him, but I was just so…upset, and I needed someone to listen."

"What did he say?" I asked desperately.

"He told me that you….needed more patience, that you were feeling lost and it was because you weren't used to life here. I didn't understand him, but I didn't understand a lot of things he said." She wiped a tear from her face with her palm.

"What else did he say?"

"He told me everything was going to be ok…he said you were going to be back to normal in a few days. I thought he was just being silly, and I was too upset with you to really think about what that meant."

I shook my head slowly. "This can't be happening. Why didn't he warn me?"

We were both quiet for a while as we considered everything that was happening, but then she broke the silence.

"How long…has it been?" she asked. I was confused at first, but then I understood.

"About six weeks."

She nodded. "Your sour mood, erratic behavior, the Vicky thing, trying to get out of sex, and 'jumping' into the river?"

I nodded, admitting to all of it, and she returned my nod.

"Well, I guess if I was nothing more than the dream version of your childhood girlfriend, then I suppose it wouldn't be unreasonable that you would proposition someone like Vicky."

"No, babe, I was….an idiot. I had only been here a few days, and I was confused, nothing seemed real, and I didn't think anything I did would matter to anyone."

She nodded again. "Did you jump?"

"Well…that's sort of a mix of 'yes' and 'no'. I went there to jump. I thought that if I did something that drastic I would wake back up in my real life. But then I changed my mind, and fell. Again, I'm an idiot."

"Why?" she asked unexpectedly.

"I was just….bitter about everything, and desperate. Look, Vicky was just a momentary blip of self destruction, and so was the jump…."

"No! That's not what I was asking you. Why did you leave me all those years ago? The other me, that is, the one from your…world…or whatever. Why didn't you come back?"

_Fuck._

I couldn't believe we were seriously discussing everything. It was all so surreal and I was completely locked in a numbing daze as I explained the worst mistake of my life. – It didn't make her feel any better.

"So, you didn't call me for three months, and then you were pissed at _me_ for 'moving on'? With a gay man, none the less."

"I was an absolute brainless moron. It was the single most horrible mistake of my life, and if I could have _chosen_ a do-over like this, I would have gone back to the moment I left to New York, so we would never have been separated at all."

"But you did have that do-over….the you from here had it."

I nodded in agreement. "I wish I could remember it too. But in the short time that I've been here for, I remembered just how much I loved you, and fell in love with you all over again. I know I don't deserve you, but I don't want to leave," I said quietly.

"But you don't belong here," she stated just as quietly.

I shook my head in disbelief, and then exploded. "What the hell was the point then? Why was I made to come here, have my walls all completely turned into rubble, and then forced to go back? It's all been for nothing!"

I was angry; angry at my father for whatever role he had in it, angry at Bella for being so calm and telling me that I didn't belong, but most of all, angry at myself for allowing any of the life there to affect me. I should have never let any of them in, I should have left right away when I arrived and tried to find a way back into my old life. It was all meaningless, and it was too much. My stomach was turned into knots, and my chest was constricting so tightly that I needed to escape before I suffocated.

"Where are you going?" Bella asked as I got up and headed for the door.

"I don't know, anywhere but here. Don't worry though; I'm sure your perfect version of me will be back by tomorrow. I hope you two enjoy my baby together," I said bitterly.

I opened the door, but before I could storm out, she was wrapped around me and holding onto me for dear life. "Don't go," she cried.

I was absolutely flabbergasted. Why was she doing that? What was the point? Her husband was coming back, she should have been thrilled.

I was angry but still relieved she stopped me, and had no idea why. "The other me will be back," I said more calmly.

"I know…but I don't want you going anywhere right now. Edward, I love you, and I don't ever want to be away from you," she said unexpectedly.

"You love the other version of me, your version, the one from here."

She nodded. "I do. We've been through a lot together, and I'm happy he's coming back…"

"But?" I asked puzzled.

"But, I love you too." She grabbed my hand and brought me back to the bed to sit. "This past month has been…difficult, but it's the struggles that bind us together. Don't you understand that?"

"But…how can you love me when the other me was so…_perfect_. He gave the perfect gifts, and would never consider cheating, and…."

"Edward…I love you. Every version of _you_."

_Oh. _

Bella truly was unconditional, just as my father had told me, and I felt like I was on the verge of understanding, but it was still just out of my reach. There was a purpose to it all, I just couldn't grasp it yet.

"Come here," she whispered, and then her lips were on mine. She was kissing _me_, knowing exactly who I was and all my flaws and worst offenses. She loved me regardless. It wasn't fair, I didn't deserve it, but I would take every last minute with her I could get.

She began unbuttoning my shirt, but I grabbed her hand. "You still want to be with me even though you know I'm not your husband?" I asked with a husky voice.

She stared at me for a moment, and then she flashed me a heavy smile that was bittersweet. "But you are my husband. Right here, right now, you're my husband, and I love you more than anything."

I crawled over her and she laid back on the bed as a response, and then I crashed my mouth back on hers. She tasted so good, and her smell was as amazingly intoxicating as ever, but that time it was different. Would it be the last time I ever held her? Made love to her? The thought made me nauseous.

"Don't do that," she whispered as she held me tightly over her.

"What?"

"Don't worry about anything right now; just be here with me in the moment. Only with me."

"I've always been _only with you_," I told her softly. "Without you I was nothing…just an empty shell. I left myself with you, and I'm afraid of losing that again. I'm afraid of losing you."

"Then don't allow it to happen," she said back to me. I didn't understand what she meant, but she pulled me closer to her and didn't give me a chance to think it through.

I kissed her neck tenderly, and then up to her jaw, and finally I reached her lips. Our kiss started gentle, but then it erupted into full desperate fury. All our love, passion, confusion, and pent up anger from the situation, all combusted together into an inferno of passion.

After our clothes were laid pooled on the floor, I laced my fingers with her, holding all my weight on my elbows besides here, and looked deep into her soul. "I love you so much, Bella Masen," I cooed, and then I pushed into her achingly slow. I wanted to savor the feeling, cement it in my mind and make it last forever. The feeling of being inside her was unlike anything else in the world – both worlds.

We moved together perfectly in sync, and I knew right then that I would never feel that way again. I would never love another, and the idea of being with anyone else was nauseating, so what was the point? I supposed wandering around alone for the rest of my life was my punishment for all my wrong doings, but it seemed unfathomable and completely unbearable. I got to experience a heaven I wasn't worthy of, so I guess hell was what lied ahead.

We stayed wrapped up together for a few hours, but as the sun dipped further in the sky, I became increasingly more tired.

"I need to get up, I have to keep moving," I said to her as I slipped my pants on. I couldn't bear the thought of falling asleep, I needed more time. "Let's call Emmett. Maybe he's hyped the kids up and they're on sugar highs. They could be awake well into the morning, and by that time, we might as well just stay up."

Bella looked at me full of love and sympathy, and without questioning it or trying to burst my bubble, she climbed out of bed, dressed, and then headed for the phone.

When the kids got home, I was slightly disheartened to see how somber they were. Still mourning my father, none of them felt like playing, not even Anthony who had missed his nap and was two blinks from falling asleep for the night.

How was I going to go on without them?

I felt like I was having my last meal before I would be escorted to my execution. There was a strange buzz encompassing me, and whenever my eyes would meet Bella's, I knew she understood. But as much as I was terrified of what lied ahead, I tried to push those feelings away and spend my last few precious hours with my family.

"Are you ok?" I asked Alec. It didn't matter that he wasn't close to our father, I still figured he was having a hard time dealing.

But he just shrugged. "I don't know. I'm sad, and I know I'll miss him, but…it just feels like my grandpa died. I wished for so long that he'd want me, but I realize now that I never needed him. The only family I need is right here in this house."

He looked up at me shyly, and I nodded in understanding. Without warning, I grabbed him by the back of the neck, and pulled him into my embrace.

"I love you," I told him quietly, and it was the truth. I did love him, I loved all of them, and my chest constricted from the thought.

"I love you too," he said unexpectedly in return.

I pulled back after a minute, and cupped his face in my hands. I would miss him, even with all his shit baggage. He was my son, just as Anthony was. Neither were really and truly 'mine', but mine just the same.

I abruptly realized that knowing my life there was over, I began strangely experiencing all the stages of grief at a rapid pace. Panic, denial, anger, and finally acceptance. Is that what was happening, was I accepting it? All I knew for sure in that moment, was I couldn't sit there and dwell on it.

As the night moved forward, Alec went to his room to call his new girlfriend, and I knew I couldn't keep Anthony awake any longer. With a heavyhearted sigh, I picked him up, and carried him to bed. He smiled when I laid him down, and then reached up to hug me.

"Nigh nigh," he said with his baby lisp.

"Good night, my little guy," I said with reverence while leaning down and kissing his forehead. God I loved that kid. His little hands curled and rubbed his eyes as sleepiness consumed him. "I love you," I whispered. I hated leaving him; it was physically painful to stand and leave the room, but I forced my legs forward, and shut the door behind me.

Last, it was time to say goodbye to Carlie. Despite all her apprehensions towards me, I was most grateful for her help. I could have never made it through my time there without her, and I wanted to make sure she knew.

"Pretty sad day, huh?" I said cautiously. She was pretty upset with me the last time we had one of our talks, and I wasn't sure how she felt at the moment.

She nodded. "But grandpa wasn't scared," she said casually.

"How do you know?" I asked.

"He told me. When he was here babysitting the night he died, he told me that he was leaving, and he was going to have my daddy come back."

I took in a hard sharp breath. The old man knew she knew… How? If I wasn't completely heartbroken and scared shitless, I would be beyond frustrated.

"Well, he was right. The mother-ship is coming back."

"Really?" she asked excitedly. "I can't wait to see my daddy, I bet he missed me so much."

I forced out a smile. "I'm sure he did."

"And my mommy too. He was better at being a husband than you are." She meant the words innocently, but it still hurt like hell. She was right, of course, but it was the last thing I wanted to hear at that moment. She was an amazing little girl, and apart from Bella, I would probably miss her the most, but at that moment, I couldn't handle her joy of me leaving.

"Everything will be back to normal around here when you wake up," I told her softly, and then kissed her forehead and turned to leave.

"Daddy wait!" she called after me. Hearing her call me 'daddy' for the first time was like a lasso, and yanked me quickly back to her, eager to hear anything she had to say.

"You've never called me that before," I told her with a bittersweet smile.

"I didn't know what else to call you," she said bashfully.

I nodded, trying to conceal my disappointment, and then waited for her to ask her question, except she didn't have one. She reached her arms around my neck, and hugged me tightly.

"I'll miss you," she said with the honest innocence that only a child possessed.

"Oh sweetheart, I'm going to miss you like crazy."

I held her for a long moment, and then she pulled away and laid in her bed. I tucked the covers around her body just the way she liked, and then I kissed her forehead _one last time_.

The thought of never seeing her again was devastating, and if Bella wasn't there when I turned around, I would have never had the strength to leave her.

"Hey," she whispered. She wrapped her arms around me and held me tightly, and for the first time since my mother died, I felt like crying. But I didn't. I sucked in my emotions, and swallowed them as deep as they could go. "Come on," she said softly, and then led me to our bedroom…well, her bedroom - hers and the other me's.

"No, I'm not ready yet," I said in a panic.

"We're not going to sleep, we're just going to bed," she murmured.

Oh. "Ok."

We took our clothes back off, and after making love again, we just held each other in comfortable silence.

"Don't fall asleep," she said unexpectedly.

I smiled. "I thought you couldn't wait to get Mr. Perfect back," I said with as much bitterness I was capable in the serenity of her arms.

"No one is perfect, not even Edward Masen….either of you."

"Sure seems like it," I said, getting more and more sleepy. It was odd, almost as if I was drugged or there was some other unknown force lulling me into unconsciousness, and I was fighting it with ever last ounce of energy I had in me.

"I told you, I do want him back, but I love you too," she cooed. "So, stay with me, as long as you can."

"How?" I asked, feeling defeated and drained.

"I don't know, tell me something. Just keep talking."

"What do you want to know?"

She thought about it for a moment. "Tell me about your life."

"I already told you," I said with heavy eyes.

"You live and work in New York, but what else?"

"There is nothing else. I had no life outside of work, Bella, and until coming here, I actually thought I enjoyed that."

"Where am I in this alternate universe?"

I sighed. "I wish I knew. The box you sent didn't have a return address."

She nodded slowly. "What about your friends?"

"Jackson is really my only friend, but I think he's had enough of my shit lately, so who knows now."

"Jackson? The same…"

"Yep, the same Jackson who showed us the apartment."

"Did he recognize you?" she asked with a mix of confusion and wonderment.

"No. I just know enough about him to make him think that he knows me."

"God, this is all so…." She was at a loss for words.

"I know, it's insane," I agreed solemnly. "But you believe me, and that means more to me then you'll ever know."

She bit her bottom lip and looked like she wanted to say something, but hesitated.

"What is it?"

"Did you have a girlfriend…_Do_, you have a girlfriend there?"

_Fuck. _

I closed my eyes tightly, afraid to see the expression on her face from knowing the truth. "Yes," I said reluctantly.

"But you didn't love her?"

Stunned by her calm tone, I opened my eyes and looked at her. "No…but how did you know that?"

"You said you were hallow before coming here. That doesn't sound like a man in love."

"I wasn't. Not with her. She was my bosses' niece, it was nothing more than a business deal to me."

We were both quiet again, but she wasn't done with the questions just yet. "Edward, if you've been here….does that mean my- uh- the other you is there?"

"I guess," I said slightly bitter. I really didn't want to think about the kind of damage the hick version of me did in New York. Not that I really cared about my job anymore, but I was slightly concerned as to how different everything would be from the changes he did create.

"Everything will be ok," Bella said to me yet again. But I really didn't want to hear it.

"Nothing is going to be ok," I said breathlessly. "Nothing there will ever be enough again. How am I supposed to just…move on and pretend that none of this ever happened?"

"Maybe you won't remember," she said unexpectedly.

I thought about it, but then I shook my head. "What would be the point to all of this then? I already don't get it, but if I completely forgot everything, then it would be even more ridiculous."

"There's always a reason for everything. Even when it doesn't seem to make any sense, there has to be a reason," she murmured with conviction.

"The only reason I could think of is karma," I told her. "I'm not a good person, Bella, it's only fair that I'm forced to admit my love and then have it all ripped away from me. That's what I deserve, and fate is finally rearing its ugly head and taking revenge on me."

"Oh, Edward, is that what you think this is?" Bella asked full of sorrow.

"What else could it be?"

She sighed. "I don't know. But in all honesty, I just can't imagine a world where we're not together. It just seems….wrong."

"That's because it is wrong. All of this is wrong. I feel like I'm about to be taken from home instead of going back." My voice began climbing from the panic of the situation. "Thinking about where I came from, it just feels like a bad dream. I'm not supposed to be going back, and I'm not," I said determined.

"Edward…"

"No, this whole thing is stupid. A spinning bottle," I scoffed. "That doesn't mean anything. When the morning comes, I'm going to wake up right here." – _And I was right back to denial. So much for the stages of grief._

"I really do love you," Bella said softly.

"I really love you too, and that's all that matters. I'm not going anywhere," I said resolved. "My dad told me it was my decision, my life was up to me, well, I choose to stay."

I actually felt much better, and I was confident that making that choice was all I needed to do. My father had told me that much, but I had been in such a panic over the spinning bottle that I had completely forgotten. Everything was going to be fine. I wasn't going anywhere – ever.

All that panic for nothing, but at the same time, it was actually a good thing that I had thought I had to go back. There were absolutely no secrets left from Bella, and I could wake Carlie up in the morning and make her believe her daddy was back.

Everything was going to be fine. No goodbyes; it wasn't necessary.

I relaxed from the thought, and drifted off to sleep with Bella tucked firmly by my side.

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><p><strong>****If I was just following the 'Family Man' plotline, then the story would be over with the next chapter, BUT, Robward is going to have a bit more of a fight than Nic Cage's character did. This story still has some bumps in the road ahead, so I hope you have your seatbelts on! LOL<strong>

**Please Review**


	17. Hollow Hope

**Spinning Bottles**

A/N: I know everyone has specific hopes for which way this story will go, but I assure you, the path I've chosen is for the best, and even if you don't agree initially, please just give it a chance and try to hang in there and hopefully you'll understand. I'll explain a little more after this chapter, if you don't want to know or don't care, then just ignore it. Thanks

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><p>~Chapter 17 – <em>Hollow Hope<em>~

My head was pounding, and my stomach was twisted in knots. I didn't want to wake up because I just felt so ill, but I didn't want to just lie there either, so I reluctantly opened my eyes - but it was too dark. It must have been before dawn, so my eyes searched for the illuminated clock on the nightstand, but I couldn't see it. – _Were my eyes even open at all?_ I wasn't sure.

"Babe?" I said groggily as I blindly felt the bed next to me. "Bella?" Not only was my stomach churning, but my throat hurt like hell. What the fuck was wrong with me?

As I continued to feel for Bella, I had a horrible sinking sensation wash over my entire body. The bed, it was far too soft, and far too big without a trace of her comforting warmth. I shivered as a response.

"No. Bella!" I said in a panic, determined to find her there next to me. "Bella!" I shouted. I would probably wake the kids, but at that point, I hoped I did. I hoped more than anything that I would hear the little patting from their little feet come tapping through the door. "BELLA!"

It was just too dark. Even in the middle of the blackest Washington night, there was still the glow of the clock on the nightstand, or the red light of my cell phone charging by the wall.

But there was nothing.

I forced my eye lids to open, and then shut, and then open again – there was no difference.

Maybe I was stuck in a nightmare; it wouldn't be the first time.

"BELLA!"

My head was so woozy, and thinking straight was next to impossible. – _Why wasn't Bella coming?_

I considered the possibility that Bella went out for an emergency. Maybe Alec was too consumed with grief, snuck out, and then crashed the car. Maybe he called Bella and asked her not to tell me.

But it was just too dark.

"BELLA!"

I took a deep breath and forced myself to accept the fact that Bella was obviously not in the bed or in the room, so I needed to try to stumble my way to the light switch in order to see. I slowly moved my legs over the edge of the bed and went to stand, but then I kicked something hard.

"Shit! What the hell?" I felt the object with my hand, and was surprised by the texture…a cold metal stand of some sort. I slid my hand up the edge, and then across the sharp point to a smooth level top. It seemed to be a table, possibly an end table or nightstand, and on the table was what felt like a remote. Without even thinking, my hand went straight for a familiar button and pushed, and I was suddenly drenched in light.

But my head hurt so badly, and the light was just too bright which only made it hurt more.

I blinked several times and willed my eyes to adjust to the new brightness in the room, but in doing so, my already churning stomach jumped into my throat. The light was coming from the window, the button I pressed was the control for the blackout blinds…

"No, oh god, please no," I begged as I took in my surroundings. I knew where I was, but it was more like a déjà vu because none of it seemed real anymore.

I was in my New York condo, and I was alone.

It was too much, so I leaned over and vomited violently all over the floor. Once my stomach was empty of its contents, I continued to dry heave…and then I wasn't alone anymore.

"I knew you were going to have a hangover today. Serves you right for drinking an entire bottle of wine and whatever else you had before that."

I looked up into the face of the snarkiest, most bitch faced woman I had ever known.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" I snapped.

She rolled her eyes at me, but otherwise dismissed my hostility. "Don't worry; I'll have a cleaning crew come to wipe up all the vomit. I already put the bottle in the trash when I saw it lying on the floor earlier."

"What? What the fuck are you talking about?" I asked still confused as hell about what was happening.

"Edward, we've had this conversation before, we're getting married, we might as well get used to living together."

Oh fuck!

"What about Jackson?" I asked absently without thinking.

"Jackson?" she asked appalled. "What the hell would I want with him? His business isn't even doing very well."

It happened, it really happened; I was back in my old life, and I felt more hollow than ever before. I wanted nothing more than to crawl into a dark hole somewhere, and just stay there until I died, but I couldn't stand Tanya's awful presence for a moment longer.

"Get out," I said calmly.

"No. I'm not playing this game with you anymore, Edward. I'm having a moving crew coming today to bring all my stuff."

"Well, cancel it," I seethed.

"No, we're not putting this off anymore. I've already told Carlisle that we're living together, so it's lucky for _you_ that he hasn't dropped by for a visit."

"Do you honestly think I give a shit what that man thinks?" My tone was dark, darker than the room when I first woke, but that was exactly how I was feeling. I didn't give a shit about anything, and Tanya and Carlisle could go fuck themselves.

"Well, you should, he's the owner of your company," she said full of attitude.

I laughed once humorlessly. "Well, consider me dumping your ass as my resignation."

She narrowed her eyes at me. "You wouldn't dare."

"I would, and I just did. As soon as you get your pathetic ass out of my fucking condo, I'll head right down and tell your jackass uncle where to shove his fucking company. Now, get out!"

She stared at me for a minute, but when she realized I wasn't bluffing, she scowled. "My uncle made you. Look around, everything you have, he gave you. You'll be sorry about this, just wait, in a few days you'll be crawling back to me and begging for forgiveness."

"Don't hold your breath…oh wait, do, please. Maybe you'll die and put the world out of its misery." I knew it was harsh, but I was in no mood for caring.

I was furious, so beyond angry that I couldn't even see straight, but I knew that wouldn't last. All too soon I would be feeling the pain of my loss, so I needed to square things away before I completely deteriorated.

Tanya finally stormed off, so I used my anger as a catapult to get ready for the day. I didn't bother showering because I just didn't care, and when I dressed, I had no idea what I put on because I wasn't paying attention. I was void of all emotions except the rage I was consumed with, and I needed to hurry before that ran out as well.

The condo wasn't my home, not anymore, so I had to take an extra minute to get my bearings straight, and then thought really hard to remember the number to my driver.

_Fuck, what was the guy's name?_

Remembering things from my old life was like trying to remember a dream or a distant childhood memory. None of it felt real, and I knew it never would again. I wasn't that guy anymore, and I couldn't continue pretending to be.

After three tries, I finally got the number right, and called my driver to come pick me up. I walked down to the lobby, and stared blankly at Felix for a moment.

"Mr. Masen," he nodded a greeting.

_Damn, was he always that big?_ He looked more like Lurch from the 'Adams Family' than a normal person.

I walked past him, and blinked into the bright light of the New York midday. I hated that fucking place. It was noisy, and busy, and stinky in a very _non-sweet-stench of children's messes_ kind of way. I couldn't help but watch the people's faces as they passed; all were cold, hard, and empty…which was exactly how I felt.

I just wanted to go home.

But I couldn't allow those thoughts and feelings to overtake me, not yet, I had something to do first.

I had no idea what kind of changes the other me made, but I wasn't willing to just hang around and wait to find out. Obviously the spineless Mr. Perfect Optimistic didn't have the nut-sack to break things off with Tanya, and I had a new bout of range overtake me. – _The bastard probably fucked her. How dare he cheat on our Bella like that? He probably thought it was a free fuck seeing how Bella would never find out - _It wasn't fair, he didn't appreciate her the way I did, and I should have never been forced to trade back. The thought made me want to fucking punch myself in the hope that somehow the other me would feel it.

When a way too expensive fancier-than-fuck car pulled up in front of me, I scowled at it. What a ridiculous waste of money.

"Mr. Masen," the driver said as he opened the car door to let me in.

"Thanks," I mumbled. The guy, whose name I didn't care enough to remember, looked at me stunned that I thanked him. Was I really that big of a prick before?

"To the office?" he asked me after we were both inside.

"Yes please…Now," shit.

As I looked around at the car I used to love so much, my mind wandered back to Bella. What was she doing? Was she fucking the other me, who probably cheated on her while he was living my life? My blood boiled at the thought.

But deep down, I knew the other me didn't cheat. Like Bella had said to me '_I love every version of you'_, every version of me would never cheat on her. Not knowingly anyway. I just couldn't stand the thought of the other me being with her, loving her, enjoying her, when I would never be able to again. I hated that version of me, not for the things he did, but for the people he had around him.

It was ridiculous, I knew that, but hate and anger was good, it was the only thing keeping me from losing it completely, and I wasn't ready for that, I needed to stay in control.

When we arrived at the familiar location of my office building, I got out without waiting for the driver to open the door for me. He looked surprised. Without hesitation, I walked right to the building, and briefly looked at the directory.

'_Edward Masen, CEO Cullen Enterprises'_

Fuck.

I didn't know why, but I was actually expecting it to still read Jackson's name, and I just became that much angrier.

My stupid fucking father with his stupid magic spinning bottles. But thinking about my father, I had a brief flash of a plan; I just needed to get the job thing handled, and then I could think more thoroughly about what I needed to do.

"Good Morning, Mr. Masen," the receptionist greeted me.

"Morning," I said flatly.

I went to the elevator and went right up to where I knew Carlisle would be. Without knocking, I burst into his office, making him look up at me with surprised annoyance.

"Mr. Masen," he said coldly. It looked as though he was propositioning a new assistant with his hand on her bare thigh, and I glared at him as a response.

"Your niece is a fucking bitch, and I refuse to marry her," I blurted out.

Carlisle smirked at me. "If you'll excuse us Irina, I need to speak with Mr. Masen," he said to the woman. With a polite nod, she stood and left the room. "Well, it's about god damn time," he said unexpectedly.

"Huh?"

"I was wondering how long you were going to let her ruin your life. Good job."

"You knew I couldn't stand the bitch?" I asked incredulously.

"Of course. Who could? I was waiting for you to show the kind of gumption it takes to stand up to me, and now that you have, I can finally back off and let you really do your job as CEO."

"What?" I asked baffled.

"No man running a company like this should be afraid of what his 'boss' thinks. I am not your boss Edward, we both know that."

"But the board…"

"Yes, the board who wouldn't give a flying fuck if you dumped my irritating niece. I'm proud of you, now I can retire in peace."

I raised my eyebrows at him in shock. Was he really backing down? I had wanted that to be true since I was first given the position, and finally it was happening….and I couldn't force myself to care.

"I quit," I told him evenly.

"Excuse me?" he said with a light laugh.

"I don't want this shit anymore. I quit."

Carlisle narrowed his eyes at me, and then stood to shut the door. I didn't notice until then that the entire staff in hearing range were turned to eavesdrop on our conversation, so obviously, Carlisle wanted privacy.

"What is this?" he asked after returning to his deck and leaning casually against it.

"It's me resigning," I told him calmly.

"Fuck that shit, what is this?" he asked more intensely.

"It's exactly what I just said it is," I said, refusing to be intimidated by his icy glare.

"Edward, we are in the middle of a huge deal which depends on your relationships. They won't work with anyone but you. So, I'll ask again, what the fuck is this?"

"Sorry about the deal, Carlisle, I'm not trying to fuck you, or anything. I just can't do this shit anymore. Bring Marcus in; I'm sure he can pick up where I left off."

"Oh, I get it, this is that whole '_I'm freaking out because I just turned thirty'_ thing, isn't it?"

"No, Carlisle, I just don't want this life anymore."

"So, you want a raise?" he continued, refusing to just let me go.

"A raise? Carlisle, fuck, no!" I shouted exasperated. "It has nothing to do with any of this shit. I just want out, and I'm not going to stand here anymore to argue. I'll be sending you my official letter of resignation. Good luck with everything in the future," I told my former mentor, and with that, I turned and left.

My driver was still sitting in the car, so I climbed in the back and asked him to take me home. Unfortunately for me, home was not a place the driver could get to, so I settled for the condo. When I got there however, I just stared blankly at the place for an immeasurable amount of time, but then my previous plan began hashing its way through my brain.

If a spinning bottle brought me to the Forks universe, then another brought me back to New York, then it was safe to say a third would return me to Forks again. Perhaps it was a portal of some sort, or like a star-gate, and I could come and go as I pleased. It didn't make sense, but then again, nothing in my life made any sense anymore.

Tanya had said she cleaned up a bottle, so I pulled out my cell, and hit her number.

"I knew you couldn't stay away. God, it hasn't even been a whole day," she said smugly.

"What did you do with the empty bottle?" I asked without any preamble.

"What?" she asked clueless.

"The bottle you picked up from my room, where did you take it?" I asked slowly, trying to contain my hatred.

"The wine bottle?"

"YES!"

"I threw it away…down the garbage shoot. Why?"

I hung up the phone. Garbage day was on Wednesdays, so I hoped the bottle would be still in the dumpster behind the building, but then it occurred to me that I had no idea what day it was. I looked at my cell again, and read the date – _What the hell?_ - I was in the wrong month.

I could have sworn we were heading into October, but my cell said it was only August. I was so confused…but then it hit me; it was the same week it had been when I first woke up in Forks. In fact, it was the same day.

"What the hell?" I asked confused, so once again, I called Tanya.

"When did you clean up the bottle?" I asked her in a rush.

She huffed. "This morning. You were passed out; obviously you drank yourself into oblivion. With cheap wine, none the less. It wasn't even the good stuff."

"What was it?" I asked.

"I don't know….'Spoons', or something. Why?"

I figured she had thrown away my father's magic bottle, which was why I wanted to find it, but I just didn't understand the time frame. Did the other version of me even take my place at all? Why weren't there any changes? Why was everything exactly the way it was when I left?

"When was the last time we saw each other?"

"Edward, are you drinking again? When will you learn? We saw each other a few days ago when we went over the wedding details. I fully expect you to be there tomorrow when we…"

I hung up the phone again.

No time had passed. None. Definitely not the six weeks I was in Forks for. The other me made no changes in my life, because he was never there. What did that mean? Did any of it even happen? I was so baffled and bewildered, and I wasn't even sure which way was up anymore.

I just happen to glance across the room, and noticed Bella's box left disarrayed on the floor. I slowly walked over to it, and picked up the first thing I saw – my ratty old sweatshirt. I had seen her wear it from time to time during my stay in the Forks universe, but I didn't think about it until that moment. Why? Why did Bella send me the contents, and what role did they have in me getting sent to that life?

I was so perplexed and lost about the entire thing, but one idea kept replaying over and over in my mind. It was all just a dream. Nothing more than some alcohol induced midnight delusion based on the contents of that box of memories. None of it happened. It was the only logical explanation I could come up with as to why the date was what it was, and why nothing in my apartment was moved during the time I was away.

There was no 'magic bottle', Carlie and Anthony were just figments of my demented subconscious, and I doubted I even had a brother.

I felt even more sick than before, so I did the only thing I could think of; I went to my room, kicked off my shoes, and laid in bed while hitting the blackout blinds button on the remote, and letting the darkness consume me once more. I wasn't tired, and I didn't want to sleep, but since I didn't know where any dark holes were for me to climb into, I decided that would have to work.

I laid in the black room for what felt like hours, just replaying my time in Forks over and over in my mind. It felt similar to what people had described their near-death experiences to be, with the whole – _life flashing before your eyes thing_ – except, my life began and ended with Bella…and my life was over.

I didn't know how long I laid in that endlessly dark room; I was vaguely aware that I went in and out of consciousness, but then abruptly, light invaded my nothingness.

Fuck! I just wanted to be left alone.

"What the hell are you doing?" the male voice was a mix of irritation and relief, but my eyes recoiled from the light, so I couldn't look to see who it was.

"Sleeping, go away," I told whoever it was.

"How long have you been held up like this?" he asked with a scolding tone.

"I don't know," I said groggily. "What the hell is it to you?"

"Damn it Edward, I prefer the jackass version of you to this self destruction one."

_Huh?_ And then it came to me, I knew who was there, it was Jackson.

"What the fuck do you want?" I groaned.

"Man, I have been calling and calling you. I even went into your office and they said you quit. Fuck man, what the hell is going on? I was worried you OD'd in here, or something."

"OD'd? I don't do that shit!" I snapped. I had to remind myself that Jackson was my friend and he was only there to help, but it just felt like everyone in that world was an enemy; standing in the way of what I wanted and where I needed to be. It was irrational and illogical, but I couldn't shake the feeling.

"Don't give me that shit!" he shouted back. "I hear about crap like this all the time. Bodies being found days after they died and all their friends say they had no idea they were even into drugs. I don't know what you do in your free time."

"I never have any free time," I mumbled.

"Exactly. You have to unwind someway."

"Oh, fuck off! I'm not a druggie."

"What's going on then?" he asked, ignoring my hostility.

"I…don't know," I said, letting my angry facade break just enough for Jackson to notice. "You wouldn't believe me, even if I told you."

"Man, when have I ever not believed your crazy shit?" I didn't answer him, so he continued. "Look, today is Alice's birthday, and I was supposed to be taking her out, so if you don't want me in the doghouse for the next five years, you'll get your sorry ass out of bed, into the shower, and dressed respectably enough to go out."

"I'm not going anywhere," I said irritated.

"Well, then neither am I, and my wife is going to give me hell for it. But thanks though, you just ruined her birthday. Some friend you are, fuck."

I rolled my eyes. "Fine," I grumbled. If I hadn't kept myself locked away in the dark nothingness for however long I did, I would have never been able to go with him, no matter how much trouble he would have gotten into with his wife. But as it stood, I was completely numb, and felt absolutely nothing. Not anger, or loss, it was just nothing. Hollow. I supposed I could feel hollow anywhere, so I might as well keep Jackson out of the doghouse and go with him, it was the least I could do for my only friend.

We picked up Alice, and drove to her favorite restaurant. She was only mildly irritated that Jackson wasn't taking her on a romantic one on one date like she had wanted, but she was a sweet girl and understood why Jackson had forced me out.

Jackson had reservations, and I felt slightly bad that I was crashing his plans, but when I really thought about it, I didn't care; I didn't care about anything. We followed the hostess to a private room in the back, and when she opened the doors, a mass of people jumped out and yelled "Surprise!"

_Fuck._

The last thing I wanted to do right then was be around a bunch of Alice's annoying friends, most of which had made a pass at me at one time or another. But because Jackson was my only friend in that sad pathetic universe, I just sat quietly and wished the world away.

There was only so much shit I could take, and I had reached my limit after the screeching in the room refused to dwindle. Even through the hollowness, I could feel the pain of my loss fighting to break through my stone fortress I built around myself while in the darkness. I was going to crack, I could feel it.

"You ok, man?" Jackson whispered.

"No, I need to go," I said as calmly as I was capable of. Being around people was just too difficult, I needed to escape. "Happy birthday," I said to Alice, and then headed for the exit.

I texted my driver to ask him to pick me up, but right after I pressed the 'send' button, Jackson was by my side.

"What the hell are you doing?" I asked him.

"Look, I don't know what the hell happened to make you quit your job, but I'm not going to let you wallow away in your dark condo anymore. You're coming to stay with Alice and me for a few days, that's not a request. You can stay in your old room; it'll be just like old times."

"Damn it, Jackson; one, I'm not a fucking kid, and two, if you don't get your ass back in there with Alice, you're going to fuck things up with her. Don't screw up your marriage for me, I'm not worth it, trust me."

Just then, Alice came lithely out of the restaurant, and stood next to Jackson with a quiet smile. "Ready to go?" she asked.

"Wait, you're not leaving your party…" I said, but she wouldn't hear of it.

"Edward Masen, you are my husband's best friend, and there is no way I'm going to party while you're so depressed. Come on, let's go to our apartment, and figure all this out," she instead, and from what I knew of the woman, I decided not to argue. Jackson always said that when she set her mind to something, there was no swaying her.

My driver picked us up, and drove us to my old apartment where Jackson and Alice still lived. I didn't want to go, but for whatever reason, I grudgingly agreed.

"Ok, now what's going on?" Alice asked when we got inside. I couldn't believe the place; it had been a long time since I was there, but Alice had somehow managed to make the shithole into something a little less shitty. I supposed being forced to love the cottage, something like the little apartment wasn't so bad, in fact, it was much more comforting than my obnoxiously huge condo.

I crossed my arms in front of me, and looked at her impassively. If she thought I was going to confide in _her_, she was seriously delusional.

"She's not going to stop questioning you until you talk, so you might as well put us all out of our misery and tell her," Jackson mumbled. Alice turned and glared at him, then playfully swat his shoulder. "Just being honest, babe. You know I love you."

She smiled. "You're right, I do." She held her face up and puckered her lips, waiting for him to kiss her. Witnessing that simple act of affection was too much, and I had to look away before I vomited.

"Ok, spill!" Alice spat. She must have seen my disgusted expression.

If I had been my old self, I would have told her to go fuck herself and then stormed out of the room, but being with the far too intrusive Emmett for as long as I had, I was almost desperate for that kind of tyranny. I needed someone to force me to open up; otherwise I was sure to implode.

"It's nothing," I said, still having a hard time talking. I didn't want to accept it, little alone talk, but I knew I needed to. She raised her brow at me, and Jackson gave me a look conveying that I had no chance against her, so I took a deep breath.

"My…ex _girlfriend_….she sent me this box full of…crap, and I guess it just got me thinking."

"About?" Jackson prodded.

"I don't know; life. I've just been thinking about her, and _dreaming_ about her, and I….just don't understand why I ever left. I don't know, I guess I just wish I had a way to go back."

"Wow, Edward Masen actually cared about someone?" Alice said surprised.

"Why do you say it like that?" I asked offended.

"Oh please, for the time I've known you, you have never displayed a fraction of emotion." She paused, as if she just realized something. "That's it; you had your heart broken. That's why you've always been so cold."

"What? No I…" but I couldn't finish, because the truth was, she was right. I had closed myself off due to a broken heart, but it was broken from my own doings. It was my fault that things ended between us twelve years before, just as it was my fault that I was sent away from her universe. Dream or not, I should have never spun that fucking bottle.

"Tell me about this wench that stole your heart and never gave it back. What was her name?" Alice asked lightly.

I shook my head. "It doesn't matter. It was a long time ago," I said so quietly that it was less than a whisper.

"It's never too late for destiny. If it's meant to be, then it will be," she said encouragingly.

"She probably lives on the other side of the country…I wouldn't even know where to start."

"Start by telling me her name," she said gently.

I took a deep breath, and wondered if I was even capable of saying her name. If I said it, would the damn break and release all my pent up grief? I couldn't allow myself to lose it, not in front of them.

She tapped her foot, and waited. It was obvious that she wasn't going to give up, so I decided to just spit it out. "Bella – uh, Bella Swan."

She took in a sharp breath. "Bella Swan, as in _Isabella Swan_?" she asked strangely.

"Yeah, why?" I asked with an odd twinge of hope, but had no idea why.

"Isabella Swan! She's only one of the top fashion editors in the New York magazine circuit," she said taking me aback. Bella, _my Bella_, hated all things fashion and would never have moved to New York, so surely Alice was talking about someone else - and just like that, the spark of hope I had when she first mentioned her name, vanished, but Alice just kept on talking. "She just hired me to work at Poise Magazine, she's really amazing…"

"Wait, you know her personally?" I asked hesitantly. Even though I was sure it wasn't the same 'Isabella Swan', I still had an irrational need to know everything I possibly could about the woman with _my woman's_ name.

"Well, I don't '_know her'_ know her, but I got to meet her during my interview. Like I said, she's amazing, but she's a bit scary. Everyone is saying she's the next Anna Wintour, and I believe it."

I had no idea who Anna Whatever was, but the chick Alice was describing was definitely not my Bella.

Except…

"Oh wait!" Alice screeched. "Poise put her on the cover last month. She was the first non-model or actress to ever make the cover….here," she ran off somewhere, and then brought back a magazine and handed it to me.

Certain I would find the face of a woman I didn't know, I glanced at it carelessly, and of course I didn't know her….but it was still _her_. My mouth fell slack as I looked at the woman in the picture. She looked like a super model posed in a contorted way that only a model would pose in. Her face was plastered with makeup, and her hair was big and windblown.

But upon closer inspection, I noticed her full lips…the same lips I had spent my entire youth kissing. Her little nose, the same one that would crinkle when she laughed. And her eyes; her endlessly deep chocolate eyes that I used to get lost in every time I looked in them - the only eyes that ever saw straight through me.

She wasn't anyone I recognized, but she was still _My Bella_.

It was odd, and disturbing, and I had never felt like I was stuck in some dream more than I did at that surreal moment, but at the same time, I was engulfed by a new wave of hope. I may have only dreamed the entire life in Forks, but perhaps that was the point, perhaps it was my subconscious telling me to go after the one woman I ever loved, and find a new way together. Find a way to make her mine again.

We belonged together, I knew that for a fact, and I refused to stop until I had her back….

* * *

><p><strong>***Just a reminder, stop reading now if you don't want to know my reasons for choosing this path. <strong>

**This chapter was supposed to be confusing. Edward is confused, so as he figures it out, you will too. Edward THINKS it was all a dream, and that will be explained in the next couple chapters.**

**Ok, my reasons: Edward couldn't stay in the life in Forks because he didn't belong there. Bella's Edward belonged there, the same version that loved her the entire time, and raised a family with her. This Edward needs to work for Bella's love. He needs to pay his dues and earn it. But even more importantly, missing the first years of his kids' life is horrible and unfair. If he stayed, he would have never been able to remember the kids as babies and everything else. Yes, they lost twelve years together, but that is their reality and they need to fight to get it back.**

**Also, I chose to bring him back to the same time he left because if the other version of him was allowed to make changes, then it would defeat the whole purpose. Edward needs to fix his own life.**

**SPOILER ALERT!  
><strong>_**FYI – After this Edward's story is done, I will be visiting the other version – the one from Forks who switched places and woke up in New York. This story of 'what if' goes both ways. Questions about Bella's pregnancy will be answered when he returns.**_

_**I hope this wasn't too confusing, if so, just ask me your question, and I'll explain anything you'd like to know.**_

**Thanks **

**Please Review**


	18. Miss Swan

**Spinning Bottles**

~Chapter 18 – _Miss Swan_~

My palms were sweaty, and my breathing was erratic. I seriously needed to calm down before I freaked myself out, and in turn freak her out. It was just Bella; there was no reason to be that nervous.

'_I would love any version of you' – 'I can't imagine a world where we're not together'_. Bella's otherworldly words kept replaying in my mind as I stood in the Poise building, waiting to be seen. They were like my theme song, championing me forward; inspiring and motivating me to do what I needed and say what I went there to say. Bella would understand, she had to.

I ran my hand through my hair, and squeezed my eyes shut tightly while pulling the strands to the point of pain…but it felt good, almost a relief of tension.

"Mr. Masen, Miss Swan will see you now," a receptionist said.

I swallowed hard, and then stood on shaky legs before following the woman towards the back office.

We walked past a dozen or so women on our way, all sitting at larger than normal cubicles, and all turned to gawk at me as we went. It was strange and yet familiar as I suddenly remembered that women usually stared at me in that way, though I never understood why.

But one woman stood out from the rest; Alice. She stood as I passed and gave me a nod of encouragement as if I was going in for a death match, and in a way, I guess I was. My life had become about Bella, and without her, _in one form or the other_, I had no idea how I was going to move on. Everything depended on her giving me a second chance….or third…or… Fuck, it was so confusing.

Alice had told me the night before that she didn't know much about Bella's personal life, apparently she was a very private person, but she didn't think she was married, and that was the only motivation I needed to continue. Although, I supposed even if Bella was married, I would have still pursued her. People could be in unhappy marriages, and I was positive we belonged together.

As we reached the door to her office, I had to take a deep settling breath. I just didn't understand my nerves. It was just Bella; _my unconditionally loving Bella._

The receptionist knocked twice lightly, and then opened the door and walked in.

"Edward Masen," she announced.

"Yes, thank you, Angela," Bella told her evenly in a tone I had never heard from her before. The Angela woman was still standing between us, so I couldn't see Bella's face, but she definitely didn't sound happy. "You can leave now," she said full of irritation when the woman didn't leave right away.

"Yes, of course, sorry," she said quickly, and then rammed right into me as she tried to leave. "Oh god, I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can get you? Icepack, Advil, or…"

"Angela, the man isn't hurt. Can you please just go back to work," Bella said coldly.

"Sorry," she mumbled again, and then hurried away.

Bella's harsh tone was definitely unexpected. In the years I knew her, not to mention the weeks I spent with her in my dream, she had never been so frigid, and I briefly wondered if she was always like that with her staff….or if it was just because of me. _Fuck._

Without Angela as a barrier between us, I stood facing the foreign woman that I loved, and she glared back at me. In that endless moment, the first thing that happened was that I could feel my entire body relax and tense at the same time. I relaxed because I was finally with her again; she was real, and right in front of me. She was my air, and I had been suffocating without her. But I also immediately tensed as a response to her expression. She wasn't happy to see me, and I had no idea what the hell I was going to do to change that.

She was my Bella, except she wasn't.

It seemed like I had just seen her since the dream felt so real, but at the same time, the reality of the encounter was hitting me full force…More than a decade had past, and I didn't know this version of her whatsoever. It actually made me feel homesick for the first time since I left for college in New York. Having her there before me surprisingly made me miss her even more than I did before seeing her again, and so much more than I could have possibly imagined; I just wanted to hold her again.

Along with the intense mix of emotions I was feeling, I also noticed that she looked very similar to her magazine cover, with thick makeup and perfect hair. She was dressed very un-Bella-like in an expensive fitted charcoal business suit, with a frilly white silk shirt that was left unbuttoned at the top exposing her pushed up cleavage. She was fucking hot as hell, but her icy stare definitely cooled down any sexy thoughts I had about her.

All of those thoughts occurred within a few moments, but those moments were up and it was time to communicate.

"Mr. Masen, why don't you come in," she said evenly.

"Huh? Oh, yeah," I said like a moron, and then walked into her office and shut the door behind me. She gestured to the chair across from her on the other side of her desk, so I went to sit, but I was so nervous that I forgot to take off my coat. So I stood again and pulled off my coat, but when I sat back down, I put it on her desk, which just ended up knocking stuff over. "Sorry," I mumbled and fumbled around as I tried to clean the mess I made.

"Are you ok?" she asked with a raised brow and far more attitude than I was expecting.

"Yeah, sorry," I said, yet again.

"So, Mr. Masen, what can I do for you?" she asked indifferently. She was all business, and quite frankly, she was rather intimidating. I had been in conferences with some of the most influential business minds in the world, but this reserved impassive woman who owned me body and soul, was absolutely terrifying.

"Uh…I…" Fuck, I didn't know what to say to her. I had spent the entire night before rehearsing a speech that I was sure would make her forgive my dozen years old crimes, but as I sat in front of her, it all seemed ridiculous and inconsequential.

She rolled her eyes at my stuttering, and then she glanced down at her wrist watch.

The truth was, I didn't want to say anything. I just wanted to grab her, tell her how much I loved her and how sorry I was, and then hold her against me _until death do us part._

"Mr. Masen, I don't mean to be rude, but I have a full schedule today so we're really going to have to speed things up. You're in business, I'm sure you can understand how that is."

"Yeah, of course," I said absently. I couldn't form a cohesive thought, because I just kept thinking about the things I wanted to do with her. I didn't want to go through all the stupid dating crap, we loved each other, we were married, this whole thing was just wrong.

"Was there something you came here to say?" she asked with her irritation growing.

_I love you_ – I thought automatically, but I shook the thought away. She wasn't ready to hear me say that, not this version of her anyway. God, it was so horribly confusing.

"Mr. Masen?" she prompted.

'_Mrs. Masen,'_ I wanted to say in return, but I held it in. "Yeah, I just came to….thank you for sending the box…My things."

She narrowed her eyes at me. "Box?" she asked confused.

"Yeah, my old sweatshirt, and movies, and my mother's necklace, the bottle of my father's wine…."

Bella looked seriously baffled, so she reached over and pressed a button on her phone. "Angela, did you send Mr. Masen that box I had sitting out at my condo?"

"Yes, Miss Swan….Was that wrong?" the voice on the speaker phone asked anxiously.

Bella shook her head with a new level of annoyance. "Angela, I told you to send him the necklace, not the entire box of crap."

"Oh…sorry. Should I run over to his building now to pick it back up?"

Bella squeezed her eyes shut, completely exasperated. "No Angela, he's right here, you don't have to go anywhere."

"Ok..sor-" Before she has a chance to complete her apology, Bella hung up on her.

"_I swear, the utter incompetence_," she mumbled to herself before looking back up at me and explaining. "I found that old box in my storage, and since I'm moving out of the country, I decided to get rid of everything I don't need."

"You kept all that stuff all this time?" I asked feeling a spark of hope. Perhaps she did still care…

"I've moved around quite a bit, so I've had a bunch of boxes that I hadn't opened in years. But it was time to lighten my load, and while I was going through them, I came across that stuff. I was going to just throw it all away, but then I saw your mother's necklace in there and thought that it was something you would want back…I told Angela to send it to you, so I guess she misunderstood and thought I meant the entire box."

And just like that, my spark of hope dwindled. She didn't keep my stuff for sentimental purpose; she just didn't know she still had it. Fuck, this was not going to be a simple as I had hoped. Bella seemed just as cold and distant as I had been before the other her changed me from the inside out, so I supposed it was my turn to repay the favor.

"So… You had my father's wine all this time in your box as well?" I asked after a minute.

"Your father's wine?" she asked bemused. "I really have no idea what you're talking about. I didn't even know your father made wine still."

I was stunned. If Bella knew nothing about the wine, then how the hell did it get in her box? Did I dream that part as well? – No, I couldn't have, Tanya admitted to throwing the bottle away. I was so fucking confused.

"So…when was the last time you were in Forks?" I asked her, deciding it was best to move past the puzzling aspects of which there were no answers for.

"Uh…A few years, or so."

I nodded. "Your father?"

"Yes, I suppose I haven't been back there since he died. You?"

I shook my head. "Twelve years."

Her iron expression faltered just enough for me to catch a quick glimpse of the sweet girl I loved. "Wow, so you haven't been back since…"

"Since the last time we saw each other," I told her softly, but then her face hardened again.

"That's too bad; I'm sure your father has missed you," she said evenly.

_My father_…. Suddenly I realized that he could possibly be still alive in this universe, and if anyone could help me understand whether or not it was all just a dream, it was him.

"Yeah, I've been thinking about flying out to Forks for a visit. You should come with me." – _Did I really just say that out loud?_ This Bella hadn't seen or heard from me in twelve years, and I just up and asked her to fly across the country with me. She was surely going to think I was insane.

She pressed her lips together, and furrowed her brow. "Mr. Masen –"

"Why do you keep calling me that?" I asked, slightly frustrated. It was just odd hearing her call me 'Mr. Masen', and it was seriously shaking my already vulnerable confidence.

"What would you have me call you?" she asked emotionlessly.

"Well, we once knew each other pretty well, so I'd say you could use my first name."

Her scowl deepened. "Mr. Masen, being friends as children has nothing to do with our current positions. I would not call anyone else who came into my office for a meeting by their first name, so why should I with you?"

'_Friends_ as children' – Ouch! I supposed I deserved that one, but I wasn't going to let her get away with it.

"We both know 'friends' isn't an accurate description of our relationship back then," I told her smugly. "_'Friends'_ don't usually know how the other's skin tastes…along with other more intimate areas," I said suggestively. I actually meant it as a joke to try to lighten the mood and break the ice, but she definitely didn't take it that way.

Her frosty glare cut right through me, and I was sure that if she had a drink in reach, she would have thrown it in my face. _"Mr. Masen,"_ she seethed. "If you have nothing more to say, then I have things I need to be doing."

She stood, and waited for me to do the same, but I didn't budge. "Actually, I do have more to say," I told her with a new bout of courage. I refused to let her dismiss me; I needed her far too much for that.

"Well, I'm out of time!" she snapped.

"Ok, then tell me another time I can come, or perhaps we can meet somewhere outside of work…Dinner tonight?"

"Mr. Masen –"

"Edward."

She grimaced. "_Mr. Masen_, if you have something you need to say, then can you please just say it. I'm very busy, and like I already said, I'm moving out of the country, so I really don't have the time –_or patience_- to meet again after this."

"You're moving out of the country?" I asked with a gulp, and that all too familiar tightening in my chest grabbed a hold of me again.

"Yes, as far as the world of fashion goes, Milan is the new Paris, and I need to be in the middle of it for my work. But, moving for a career boost isn't a foreign concept for you, now is it?" she asked condescendingly.

I didn't understand; just as I was finding her again, she was moving impossibly far away, but then again, I was currently unemployed, so it was the best time for me to make a change and move with her. I really had no desire to live in Italy, but I would live anywhere as long as we were together.

"So…when do you leave?" I asked quietly as my mind drifted to what it would take for me to move. I needed to find a new job, acquire a visa, get in touch with any business ties I may have in Italy; so on, and so forth. But as all my career possibilities flooded my mind, a smaller, more important thought occurred to me. Would Carlie like life in Italy? It was a stupid irrational thought, seeing how she didn't exist, but it still bothered me much more than I'd allowed myself to admit.

Carlie and Anthony were just figments of my overactive imagination, but I couldn't just forget about them, and even in a time and place where they didn't exist, I knew I would always find myself thinking about them in the present sense.

"I'm leaving in a week, so I'm sure you can understand why I have so much to do right now," she said, and walked towards the door hoping I would follow.

"Of course I understand," I said, and decided to relieve some of her discomfort. I stood and walked towards her, but before I would leave I just had one more thing to say. "A week isn't much time, but I'm sure I can get you to fall in love with me again by then," I told her casually, trying to keep the sudden wave of arrogance I was feeling out of my tone. I wasn't confident in her reaction, but I had often used that cocky persona to mask my nerves in the past, and at that moment, I was anxious as hell.

"Huh?" she asked completely dumbfounded. It was the least controlled I had seen her since first stepping foot in that office, but I wasn't about to stop and explain right then, I needed to leave before she had time to really understand what I said. It was best to make her think about it, and then squirm for the rest of the day knowing I wasn't going to leave her alone.

"I'll see you after work. What time do you get off?" I asked, but before she could form a cohesive thought in order to answer me, I continued. "Never mind, I'll just set everything up with your assistant out there. Angela seems really on the ball, I'm sure she can tell me anything I need to know."

I smiled at her baffled face, and then reached my arms around her torso, and hugged her against me…She didn't move. "God, I've missed you," I whispered while nuzzling her hair and breathing in her familiar intoxicating scent. I ached to kiss her, but I figured that was one step too far for the time being. When I stepped back to release her, I turned and left quickly before she had a chance to slap me, or worse, call security.

I didn't plan ahead of time to go that route of winning her back, but I figured with her impending move, I didn't have time to woo her properly. It was either incredibly stupid, or genius, and only time would tell which.

I didn't look back at her as I made my way to where I assumed her assistant was, but I could feel her incredulous stare on my back. She wasn't happy about what I just did, but I wasn't going to let that stop me.

"How did it go?" Alice came out of nowhere and asked quietly.

"I'll talk to you later," I said, still feeling Bella's eyes on the back of me. I walked forward and found the woman's desk who had shown me into her office. "Ah, Miss Webber…" The woman's face was easily forgettable, but the name plate read 'Angela Webber' so I assumed I was at the right place. Oddly, it wasn't near Bella's office the way it should have been, but with it being nothing more than a fashion magazine establishment, I couldn't expect it to be run like a proper business.

"Yes, Mr. Masen?" she said, slightly startled.

"I'll be picking up Miss Swan today after work; can you tell me what time she'll be finished for the day?"

"Uh…of course," she said and started typing on her computer, assumedly to look at Bella's calendar. "Her last meeting is at five this evening, so she should be done by six."

"Perfect. Thank you very much," I said to her, and then left the building.

I thought to make reservations at one of my favorite restaurants, but then a new thought occurred to me, and I became giddy with anticipation….

* * *

><p><strong>***Oh, Edward! LOL. I wonder if his forward approach will work. Hmmm, we'll have to wait and see. <strong>

**FYI – I added a pic of Bella's magazine cover to my bio/profile for anyone interested. The direct links are still down, but you can copy and paste it to your search browser if you want.**

**Please Review!**


	19. Fighting Pain

**Spinning Bottles**

~Chapter 19 – _Fighting Pain_~

Since I wasn't going to be taking Bella to one of the restaurants I originally planned on, I went home and changed out of the business suit I had been wearing. But as I looked in my grossly huge closet, I realized I didn't have many casual clothes. I considered going to the store to pick some up, but I rarely ever bought my own clothes, and I didn't have time to set up my personal shopper.

With a sigh, I grabbed my black Ralph Lauren cashmere sweater and tan pants, and got dressed. It was the best I could do on such short notice, but I supposed it was actually a good thing. Bella would be still wearing her work suit, so a T shirt and jeans would be too casual.

I was ready for the evening by four o'clock, so I just sat in my condo and stared out the window blankly. Every time I thought about what I should say or how I should act towards Bella, I just made myself increasingly more nervous, so I figured it was best to try and clear my mind. But the minutes ticked by slowly, and I couldn't wait any longer.

I pulled up to the Poise building at five pm, and luckily found a rare parking spot near the front of the building. I sat in my car for another ten minutes, but on the chance that she would get out of her meeting early or she would try to hurry away before I had a chance to see her, I decided to get out and wait outside by the entrance.

I found a bench, and just watched the city move in a way that made the cold hard buildings and streets seem almost alive as people came and went about their afternoon. As much as I resented New York for keeping me away from the life I wanted, I actually would always love the city. There was just a vibe about it that was unparalleled anywhere else in the world. I would gladly give it all up for my future family, but I would keep a soft spot for it and visit whenever I could.

As I sat there waiting for Bella to emerge, I somehow host track of time, and when I finally looked at my watch again, it was six thirty….a half hour after Bella was supposed to get off.

Fuck!

I didn't even consider the possibility that she would go out a different exit, but I was determined to find out. With only a week left, and I didn't have a day to waste; I needed to see her that night, it wasn't an option.

I went inside the building, but was immediately stopped by a smaller than average sized security guard, suffering from a Napoleon Complex.

"I'm just here to pick up Isabella Mas-Swan," I told him in a rush.

"Look pal, I don't think there's anyone left upstairs," he replied as he squared his shoulders.

I ran my hand through my hair, and tugged. I was seriously going to fucking disintegrate if I lost her, and for the first time, I was beginning to accept that scenario as a possibility.

"Yo Larry!" the guy called to another security guy walking in the opposite direction.

"What?"

"Is there anyone left upstairs?"

"I don't know, why?"

"Wait, you don't know who's in the building you're guarding?" I asked the guard incredulously.

He raised a brow. "Are you trying to say I'm not doing my job efficiently?" he said threateningly.

I looked over the top of his head, and a few size related comebacks quickly invaded my mind, but then I figured it was best to play nice. "I just thought you would know if there were people upstairs."

"Well, I just got on duty. I'm the night guy; usually everyone is gone by the time I get on."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm just going to go up to see if anyone is still there," I told him full of irritation. If that idiot worked in my building, he'd be fired already.

"I can't let you go up there at this hour," the man said with another pathetic attempt at authority.

"It's only fucking six thirty. There are people who work in my building until eight. Hell, I've been in well past ten at times."

He shook his head. "Not in this building; at least not unless you're on the list or have a code…Do you have a code?"

"No!" I didn't mean to shout, but the man was testing my vulnerable patience, and if he didn't move out of my way, I was seriously going to unload on him.

But luckily, I didn't have to. Just as I was about to punch the guy and probably land myself in jail, the elevator doors opened, and out came a group of people with Bella amongst them.

When we locked eyes, I smiled at her, but she jerked to a stop and scowled. Without removing her icy glare off of me, she mumbled something to the people she was with, and then they scurried away leaving Bella and me in a standoff. She looked pissed to see me, but I refused to back down.

"Bella," I greeted her quietly.

"Mr. Masen," she replied coldly.

"Are you ready to go?" I asked her as casually as I was capable of.

"Yes, I am. In fact, my driver is waiting to take me home right now."

"Oh, well, you better tell him you don't need his services for the rest of the day, otherwise he'll be waiting for you for a long time, because I'm taking you out and my car is right out front."

She narrowed her eyes. "Mr. Masen –"

"Edward," I corrected her.

"_Mr. Masen_, I will not be going anywhere with you this evening, or any other evening…"

"How about during the day?" I asked like a smartass.

"Mr. Masen, I'm moving out of the country –"

"Next week; I know, we already discussed it. That means I have the rest of this week to spend time with you."

"Look, I don't know what the hell your deal is, but I don't want any part of it," she said in a quiet angry rush. "Not that I would ever consider dating you again under any circumstance, but I happen to have a boyfriend, so you can just leave now, and stop making a fool of yourself."

"You have a boyfriend?" I asked with a smirk of disbelief. I had no way of knowing if that was true or not, but it didn't matter. Either she was lying to get me off her back, or she was being honest and I had just that much more work cut out for me. Either way, it wouldn't detour my advancements. She belonged with me, and it was only a matter of time until she accepted it.

"Yes, I have a boyfriend…whose currently waiting in Italy for my answer to his proposal."

"He's in Italy?" I questioned.

"Yes," she stated as she began walking towards the exit. I, of course, followed.

"So, are you moving to Italy for the job or the boyfriend?"

"How is any of this _your_ business?" she asked exasperated.

"Hey, I just want to know what I'm up against. If you don't want to tell me that's fine, but it's not going to change anything. You'll end things with that guy soon enough."

She abruptly stopped and turned to me. "What the hell is wrong with you? I haven't seen or heard from you in twelve years, and then out of nowhere you show up and tell me…" she let her sentence trail off, so I decided to finish it for her.

"I show up here and tell you that I'm going to make you fall in love with me again – Yes. But only because it's true and we belong together."

"Ugh!" she growled with irritation. "Why? Isn't there some other ex-girlfriend of yours that you can go harass?"

I scrunched my brow. "I haven't had many…But it doesn't matter, because I belong with you - It's only taken me twelve years to admit it."

"Well," she shook her head. "You're about eleven years and eleven months too late."

I pressed my lips. "I know, and I'm sorry…" I was about to get into my long winded apology, but she didn't give me a chance. She just shook her head again, and continued walking out side.

"Bella, wait!" I called after her as I hurried to catch up.

"I have things I need to be doing. Mr. Masen, I wish I could say that's it's been a pleasure, but it hasn't."

"Bella –"

She turned to me, and struggled to keep her face to appear relaxed. "Look, let's do what we never were able to in the past." She held her hand out to me. "Let's say goodbye before we go our separate ways."

I glanced down at her outstretched hand, but I refused to shake it. "I'm not going to leave you alone until you spend some time with me."

"Wow, Mr. Masen, I never took you for the stalker type," she said sourly as she let her hand fall.

I shrugged. "Call the police then. Get a restraining order, and have me arrested because that's the only way I'm going to go away. If you need to go home, then I'll go with you. If you somehow manage to lose me, then I'll be here tomorrow, and the next day, and the next. And then I'll fly to Italy and continue my stalking there."

"Why?" she asked frustrated.

"Because…I made the worst mistake of my life by leaving you, and I refuse to make that mistake again," I told her intensely. She stared at me for a long moment, but then she blinked and turned away.

"It was a long time ago. We both moved on. Can't you just leave it at that?" she asked as she walked towards a black Escalade waiting by the curb.

"No, I can't leave it at that…And my car is over there," I said while pointing at my Volvo behind us.

She ignored me, and opened the back door to the Escalade, but before she had a chance to shut the door behind her, I grabbed it and scooted in next to her.

"Edward!" she shouted.

"Look, you do remember my name," I said smugly. She just stared at me incredulously, but it was my turn to ignore her. "Hey, I'm Edward, nice to meet you," I said to her driver while reaching over her to shake the man's hand.

"Um…" the driver was confused and kept looking back and forth between Bella and me. "Is everything ok, Miss Swan?"

"No, it's not!" she snapped.

"She's right, everything isn't ok, and it won't be again until Bella here, lightens up and gives me a chance."

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to step out of the car," he said to me in a threatening tone.

"Sorry, I can't…Not unless Bella comes with me." I had to admit, I was even annoying myself with my persistence, but I couldn't back down and I refused to give up. Bella and I needed each other, and she was just going to have to give me a chance to prove it to her.

"Sir, I'm going to ask you one more time," the driver insisted. When I didn't budge, he unbuckled his seatbelt and started to open the door. I briefly thought about how badly it was going to hurt if the large man decided to ruff me up a bit, but it was worth it to show my dedication to Bella.

Thankfully however, Bella stepped in. "Ray, its fine," she said quickly to the driver. "I'm going to let Mr. Masen take me home tonight."

"Miss Swan?" he asked concerned.

"I'll be fine. Pick me up at my condo in the morning," she said, and I couldn't help the huge triumphant grin that spread across my face as a response. Getting her to spend time with me was actually easier than I thought.

I scooted out of the car and held onto the door to make sure they were tricking me and planning to take off as soon as I got out. Bella scooted out after, and then stood in front of me with an angry expression.

"He wouldn't hesitate to put you in the hospital," she warned.

I shrugged. "It would be worth it."

"No, it wouldn't. Don't think for a minute that I got out for _your_ benefit; I just don't want Ray to get arrested for assault."

"Ouch," I said with mock offense. "Well, that's not really what I wanted to hear, but the result is the same, so I'll take it. After you," I said as I gestured towards my car.

She narrowed her eyes at me, and then huffed before walking to my car. I rushed around her to open the door for her, and then closed it when she sat inside.

"So, where are we going?" she asked full of tension.

"A great place, you'll love it," I said excitedly.

We didn't speak much during our five minute drive to my intended location, but not because I didn't have anything to say, I was just loving being in her presence and I didn't want to spoil it with her angry tone.

When we got there however, Bella's hostility only grew and confusion was added to it. "What is this place?" she asked.

"It's a diner. It's where people eat food." I said slowly, as if she didn't understand English.

"No, I got that. Why are you bringing me here?"

"Would you rather go mini golfing first?" I asked casually, and then got out of the car to run to her side and open the door for her.

Bella mumbled something bitterly, but she didn't ask any more questions at that time.

After we went inside, the waitress, dressed in 50's clothing with a bandana in her hair and a poodle skirt, showed us to the table and blew a huge bubble from her gum before popping it loudly, and finally asking for our drink order.

"Ugh, I'm assuming you don't have wine here?" Bella said with disgust as she rubbed her fingers together to try and remove whatever sticky substance she picked up from the menu.

"No, but we have beer," the waitress said before blowing another bubble.

Bella rolled her eyes. "I guess that's better than nothing," she mumbled. "Please bring it in a glass, I really don't like to drink from bottles."

Bella's dislike of bottles was ironically interesting, but I tried to not think too far into it.

"Ok, can I see some ID?" the waitress asked.

Bella glared at her while grudgingly reaching for her purse, but then she noticed that she didn't have it. "Fuck, I left it in the other car."

"No ID, no alcohol," the waitress said.

"You have got to be kidding me? I'm thirty years old, this is ridiculous. I can't even remember the last time I got carded," Bella told her angrily.

She shrugged. "That's the rules Ma'am, no card, no drink."

"You have the nerve to call me Ma'am like I'm some old woman, but you-"

"We'll just take two cokes," I interrupted.

"Ok, sure," the waitress said, unfazed by Bella's verbal assault.

"Make mine a diet at least," Bella added.

"Oh wait, on second thought, I'll have a strawberry–cola float…with two straws," I said quickly.

"Sure," the waitress said evenly, and then walked off.

Bella scrunched her face at me. "Ok, so, what is this?" she asked, trying to contain her bitterness, but failing miserably.

"What? You always loved the diner back home, so I figured it would be something fun to do."

She shook her head. "This place is dirty, and the food here is liable to cause a heart-attack. I'm surprised someone hasn't sued by now."

"Oh, it's not that bad. Besides if you don't allow yourself to indulge every once in awhile, then what's the fucking point," I said casually.

"So…are you dying?" she asked out of nowhere.

"Huh?"

"Is all of this just on some strange bucket list, or something?"

I laughed. "No, you are not on my bucket list, not in the way you think anyway. I just want you back, and I have a million reasons why, but what it all comes down to is that we belong together."

"You don't even know who I am anymore….and I sure as hell don't know you."

"You're right, so let's get to know each other again. So, you're a fashion editor at Poise magazine?"

"Obviously, since that's where you kidnapped me from."

"Okay, why don't you tell me how you ended up working there?"

"How did you end up being the CEO at Cullen Enterprises?" she asked unexpectedly.

I couldn't help but smile. "So, you've been checking up on me?"

"No. Cullen Enterprises is one of the fastest growing companies in New York. I read the Times, Mr. Masen. By the way, congratulations on your engagement, but I wonder how the future Mrs. Masen feels about your ridiculous pursuit of me."

"Well, I'm pretty sure the future Mrs. Masen isn't too happy about it right now, in fact, _you_ seem downright pissed. But don't worry honey, a few years from now, we'll look back on this and laugh."

"You're pathetic, do you know that?" she said coldly.

"Yes, I do, but I'm trying to get better," I replied without hesitation. We were both quiet for a moment, but I didn't have time to waste being all reflective, so I continued with my questioning. "So, how long have you been working at Poise?"

She sighed, probably figuring it was best to just tell me what I wanted to know rather than prolonging our time together by refusing. "After college, I got an internship at Poise where I was basically a personal assistant to the Editor in Chief. Then I got hired as a junior editor where I spent my time correcting the errors of an incompetent 'How To' column writer. After the woman was fired, I was given her position, which I wasn't happy about seeing how my career aspirations were only for editing. But one thing led to another and I was being brought to all the top fashion exhibits, and now here I am."

"So, you wanted to be an editor?"

"Yes, and all my years in college, never once did I expect to be thrown in the world of fashion. But, I'm good at it, and I make a lot of money."

I nodded. "What did you want to do when you were in college?"

"My goal was always to work for a newspaper…Editing or even writing about real events. Journalism always interested me, but in the end, I wouldn't trade my job now."

"Because of the money?" I asked. I thought back to my dream version of her and how she worked for the Forks newspaper and made next to nothing, but she loved her job, and I finally understood what that meant. This Bella wasn't where she wanted to be career wise, but she made a lot of money, and her personality suffered for it.

"And what's wrong with that? You wanted to be in business for the money. And it seems you've done quite well for yourself," she argued.

"Yeah, I did. But then I realized that life can't be all about money. When I went home every night, I had a huge condo and anything I could ever want….except, I wasn't happy, because the one thing I really needed wasn't something money could buy."

"So, let me guess, you gave away all your money to charity?" she said sarcastically. "I mean, if you don't need it, then why have it; right?"

"There's nothing wrong with making a good living, and I'm the first one to say that I enjoy the more lavish things in life…but that can't be my entire life."

"Well, sometimes you have to pick one or the other. Great respectable job, or a lazy life where you do nothing but party everyday and waste away. I choose the former."

"How about a great respectable job, and a family to go home to every night?"

"Right, like that would sustain someone like you," she said scornfully.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Oh come on, all you rich CEO types are the same. Around thirty you choose to get married and do the family thing, but really it's only to show others in your business circle that you're stable. After a few years, or in some cases, a few months, you'll get board and leave your wife pregnant at home with the pool boy."

I had to admit, she was actually right. That was exactly what I had planned to do with Tanya, but I needed her to understand that I had changed.

"I actually quit my job," I told her. "Now, I'm still a believer that people can have the career and a family…but I guess I was just tired of all the bullshit. I have no idea what my next step will be, but I know it has something to do with you."

Just then the waitress came and brought us our drinks, and waited for us to order food, but neither of us even looked at the menu yet.

"We're going to need some more time," I told her.

After she was gone, Bella decided to strike."Ok, I get it," she said humorlessly.

"Get what?" I asked clueless.

"You lost your job, and then you decide to come looking for me? What, did you see me on a magazine or read about me in the paper, and thought I could be your meal ticket until you figure out what you want to do with yourself?" she said bitterly.

"What? No."

"Oh come on, you bring me to this disgusting restaurant because you probably can't afford anything better, and then you throw all this _'meant to be'_ bullshit in my face, and what? I'm supposed to just swoon and let you come with me to Italy so I can fully support you?"

"Bella, no," I said calmly. "That's not what this is at all. I have well enough money in my bank to support myself for years, not to mention all my stocks, shares, and the money I have tied in real-estate. I'm fine financially, and I wouldn't accept a dime of yours anyway."

"Why this restaurant, then?"

"As I told you, I thought it would be fun. See, your favorite," I said while pointing to the strawberry coke float.

"I don't eat stuff like that anymore."

"Oh, come on," I said getting frustrated. "It's not going to kill you or even make you fat to indulge every once in awhile."

"No, thank you," she said coldly, and then took a sip of her diet coke.

"Do you know what you want yet?" the waitress came back and asked.

"Um, just a few more minutes," I told her with an apologetic smile.

My smile seemed to catch the woman off guard, so she smiled back widely and her entire face darkened into a blush. "Ok, just signal me when you're ready."

Bella rolled her eyes at her.

"You know, if you slip her your number, I'm sure she'll let you do whatever the hell you want with her," Bella stage whispered.

"Look, I get what you're doing," I told her. "You're completely closed off and acting like a total bitch because you're worried I might actually be the right person for you. I hurt you, I know I did, and I'll regret that for the rest of my life, but I swear, I'm not that guy anymore."

She looked stunned by my words, but instead of lashing back out at me, she took a deep breath and took it down a notch. "Why? Why me, why now?" she asked cynically. "I'm sure you can have anyone you want, so why pick the one person who has every reason to say no?"

"To be perfectly honest…I've lived in a hollow stone case for more than a decade now, and I just realized that _you're_ the reason why."

"Excuse me?" she asked offended.

"No, I'm not saying it's your fault," I said quickly. "It's mine, completely, but it was because of my horrible decision to leave you behind all those years ago."

"Is that what happened?" she asked condescendingly.

"No-yes-no…I was an idiot, and I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I'm going to ask for it anyway."

"Ok, I forgive you. Can you take me home now?" she asked evenly.

"No. I said I _will_ ask for forgiveness, not that I _was_ asking for it."

"What does that mean?" she asked perplexed.

"I don't think we're in a position for you to really forgive me just yet, and when we are, that's when I'll ask."

"You are so frustrating."

"I know."

"You don't honestly think I'm going to just…fall in love with you, do you? In a week, none the less?" she asked abruptly.

I shook my head, and made sure there wasn't an ounce or sarcasm in my answer. "No, I don't _expect_ you to just fall in love with me in that short amount of time. But I am _hoping_ I can get you to realize what I did recently…that we _never_ stopped loving each other. I know it seems ridiculous and insane, but Bella, we do belong together. I know this for a fact, and even if you can't see it, or won't admit it to yourself, I hope you'll stop fighting those feeling just a little and someday allow me to try to be worthy of you again."

She stared at me, and for a brief moment, I could have sworn that I saw the love she once felt for me reflecting back in her eyes. But it quickly faded, and her cold lifeless expression returned in full force.

"I'm going to tell you what so many people had told me back then. - What we had…it was _nothing_. Call it 'puppy love', or whatever. We were just kids…just stupid naive kids who thought the world began and ended with each other; but then you left and realized that there was more to the world, and in doing so, you gave me the opportunity to do the same…Everyone has a sob story about their first heartbreak, but then they get over it. How pathetic would I have been if I held onto you this entire time; the guy who just ran off to New York and never called me again." she shook her head. "I've had more important things to do then to waste my life pining over you."

I pressed my lips, and nodded. I deserved her harsh words, and if it was anyone else, I would have agreed. But what we had together was different. What we felt for each other was real, and it did last all those years, even if our physical relationship didn't. We just needed to exhume those feelings and start anew. I wasn't sure what it would take, but at least she was actually talking to me about it, so that was a start.

"Maybe we can't get back what we had," I admitted, "but that doesn't mean we can't start over and try again."

"And why would we do that?" she asked seriously. "We were together for a couple years and we had a good time, but that was a dozen years ago. I was with my last boyfriend for five years, which was a much bigger chunk of time; not to mention the fact that I was an adult with an adult. You and I were just kids. Why would I want to go back to that? What could either of us possibly gain from trying again? If I was going to attempt to rekindle something with an ex, you definitely wouldn't be at the top of that list."

"I love you," I told her without even thinking. I was losing the battle, so out of pure desperation, my brain had completely shut off and let my heart do all the talking…which was probably a very bad decision. "I have always loved you, and that's why I _never _came back. I know that sounds….stupid, and doesn't make any sense, but it's true. My father helped me realize that. I was scared. I couldn't let you become my entire world, because that was what happened to my parents, and when my mom died…my dad just…disappeared. So I ran away, and used the excuse of you being with someone else as a way to ease my conscience and even allow myself to become resentful of you. It was wrong, and I was...a jackass – No, I was worse than that, I was a coward."

"I was never with anyone else back then," she said quietly. "Why would you even think that?"

I took a deep breath. "Because I was stupid. I called your cell and it had been disconnected, so I called your house and Jacob Black answered –"

"Wait, you called?" she asked bewildered, as if that information meant so much more to her then she'd ever admit.

"Yes, I called," I replied gently. "It was three months too late, but I still called….Not that it mattered anymore. Jacob told me you were with him, and I needed to leave you alone."

"Jacob Black is gay," she said, taking me aback. The fact that I knew Jacob Black was gay, without having any 'real' reason to, was completely confounding. How could I have known that if it had all been just a dream? But I couldn't focus on that right then; I was fighting for the only reality I had left, and I needed to listen to everything Bella had to say.

"Why would he say you were together then?" I asked, hoping to finally get the answer to my long tortured question.

She bit her bottom lip, the same way she always had when we were teens. It was a sign of her nerves, and it gave me hope that the old her was still very much a part of the new her. But then she released her lip, and tightened her facial features. "God, it was so long ago…Who knows anymore. Maybe you should go to Forks and ask _him_," she said disdainfully, and just like that, she shut off her emotions again.

"No. No way. What were you about to say? I know you know something about that," I persisted. It was a certain look in her eye; she knew why Jacob said those things to me all those years ago, and I was going to make damn sure she told me. I couldn't blame our relationship ending on that event anymore, because I knew I could have done more and had ultimately run away, but I still wanted to know the truth. But then a thought occurred to me… "You were standing right there, weren't you? You knew I called and you told him to say that…"

She shook her head. "No, I wasn't standing there. I just told you that I never even knew you had called." Her entire body tensed and her hands tightened into fists on the table. "I really don't know why we're even discussing any of this. Like you said, it was still too late. Too little, too late."

She stood, and without another word, she walked straight to the exit and right out of the door.

_What the hell just happened?_

I threw down a couple twenties on the table, and then raced out after her.

"Bella, wait!" I called as I ran to catch up.

"No, Edward, I don't understand this entire thing, but I don't care to either. That wasn't a particularly happy time in my life, so the last thing I want to do is revisit it," she said as she kept walking.

"Then let's not revisit it, let's start completely over." I reached out and grabbed her arm to stop her, and even though she did stop, she yanked her arm out of my gasp.

"Don't touch me," she hissed, and that's when I saw it – the pain. She was more like me than I thought, she was hiding from the pain that would otherwise consume her, which only made me feel that much worse. I wasn't sure if I was the sole reason behind her hurting, but I was definitely a part of it. Her father died, she admitted to moving around a lot, and somehow she ended up in a city where she never wanted to be. Fuck, I just wanted to hold her. If there was a way to make all of it go away, I would in a heartbeat.

I let her go as soon as she told me to, but neither of us moved. "I won't grab you again," I said apologetically. "Let me just take you home, ok?" I murmured.

"I don't need you to take me home. Do you really think that I don't know my way around the city? I've lived here for seven years; I'm fully capable."

"Bella please."

"No, don't _'please'_ me! I waited for you, for…years, like a fucking moron," she said abruptly, taking me aback. "Even when people told me to move on, even when I lost all my friends because I couldn't stand being around any of them anymore. Even when _your _dad told me that I deserved better. I still waited for you…and you never came." Her voice broke at the end, and her eyes glistened with her pent up emotions, but she refused to let it overtake her.

"I'm here _now_," I murmured, already regretting the words when they came out of my mouth. That wasn't what she needed to hear, and I knew it immediately.

She laughed once humorlessly. "For how long?... I don't want – or _need_ you anymore. Please just leave me alone."

I swallowed hard, and tried to consider the possibility of doing what she asked by leaving, but then I thought about the other version of us and the family we could still have together, and I shook my head. "I just can't do that."

"Well, don't expect me to allow another meeting like this to happen again. You can hang out in front of my building and stalk me all you want, but this is the last time I will be speaking to you."

And with that she turned and walked away. I wanted to follow her, every fiber of my being ached to grab a hold of her and never let go, but I didn't move. I just stood there in the street and stared blankly into the distance as my world disappeared in front of me once again.

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	20. Emotions

**Spinning Bottles**

~Chapter 20 – _Emotions_~

"So, you're just giving up?" Alice asked me incredulously.

"No," I said quickly. "But I just don't know where to go from here….Alice, why are you here instead of at work?"

"I don't start until nine – Don't change the subject!"

"Ugh, why do you care?" I asked annoyed. It was the most I had ever talked to the woman, and I was beginning to see why.

"Because, I want you to be happy and stop depressing my husband. Besides, you dating my boss can only be a good thing….oh wait, maybe you shouldn't."

"Why?" I asked, becoming slightly amused by her sudden change in opinion.

"Because she'll probably take out her anger on me when you break up."

"Ok, first of all, she's moving to Italy and unless you plan on being transferred there yourself, it wouldn't affect you."

"Yeah right, you'll convince her not to go, and then I'll be stuck with a bitter boss. Besides, she doesn't have to be in my office physically in order for her to be in charge. The woman has a lot of power in the fashion world, you mess with her and you might as well get a new career."

"Alice, look, I appreciate what you're trying to do, but I've had a really rough night and my head is killing me. Can we just talk about all this later?" I asked her. After Bella had walked away from me the night before, I spent a good three hours just wandering aimlessly around the city. When I finally made it home, I laid in bed awake until the sun came up, all the while trying to figure out what I should do.

On one hand, Bella and I belonged together, I was sure of that, _but_…with all the pain, and all the time apart I caused, perhaps we were beyond reconciliation. Was it possible that we had grown too far apart? But we did end up in the same city, so that had to count for something, right? I just didn't know anymore. The last thing I wanted to do was cause her any more pain, and if that was what I was doing by continuing to pursue her, then perhaps I should stop. I was so confused.

"Ok, well, I'll just leave you to it then," Alice said suddenly. With my continued internal debate, I had momentarily forgotten she was still standing there.

"Thank you," I said with a sigh.

"Just a little advice though…Sometimes coming on too strong is just that….Try being a little more gentle. Send the woman some flowers. You know, I heard lavender roses mean _'love at first sight'_."

And then it hit me. "Thank you Alice!" I said excitedly. "You are my angel, I'm sure of it," I said while I grabbed her into a huge bear hug.

"Whoa, what did I say?" she said with a smile.

"Just what I needed," I replied, and then I was in motion. I ran back to my room and quickly showered and dressed, and I couldn't race out of my condo fast enough.

…

"So, you want three lavender, two red, twelve yellow, and one blue?" the man asked skeptically.

"Yeah, is that a problem?"

"No…You know that's not going to be very visually appealing. Those colors don't really…blend well. Not to mention that the blue ones aren't natural, they're dyed."

"I'm aware of that sir; can you please just do it? Otherwise I can take my business elsewhere."

"No, no, of course we can do it…And, you say…"

"The same arrangement everyday through Friday," I reaffirmed.

He nodded. "With the same inscription –"

"Exactly."

"Ok, you're the boss, sir. They will be delivered on time, guaranteed."

"I'm sure they will," I said with a smile. "Thank you very much."

After finishing my business there, I went back home to make a few very important phone calls, and when I was done with that, I headed over to the Poise building, hoping to catch Bella on her lunch break.

"I'm here to see Miss Swan," I told the Poise receptionist.

"Name?" the woman asked without looking up at me. She wasn't the same woman who was there the day before, which was odd, but I didn't really care.

"Edward Masen," I told her. The woman suddenly darted her head up, and gawked at me. I had to raise my brows at her in order to get her to wake up from the odd stupor she fell into.

"Oh, right, Edward Masen. Um…unfortunately, Miss Swan isn't available, but I can make sure she knows you were here," she said with a smile while batting her eyes.

"Okay, thanks," I said unsurprised. I was pretty sure Bella wouldn't see me, but I had to make my presence known, just so she didn't think I was going to give up.

I went home and made some follow up calls from my earlier ones, and then spent the rest of the afternoon cleaning my condo. Usually I had a maid service, but since my confusing dream trip into the Forks life, I felt a little ridiculous having a maid come in just for me. Of course, the place was a mess, but it was better to force myself to clean up my own messes; it was the only way I'd ever fully appreciate what I did have.

Around four pm, I headed back over to the Poise building. I had no idea what time Bella would be getting off work that day, but I wanted to make sure I didn't miss her. I waited an hour and a half, and then finally, she emerged…with three other women -who were each carrying a bouquet of multicolored roses.

_Fuck._ - Well, it was good to see Bella got my flowers, even if she did divide them up and give them to other women.

I moved into a position where she was sure to see me, and she did, but I was completely ignored. She walked right past me and straight into the back seat of her waiting Escalade. I wanted to jump in with her, but I forced myself to stay where I was. Alice was right; I needed to back off, so that's what I planned on doing.

For the next two days, it continued on in that same way. I would hang out in front of the Poise building like a psycho stalker during lunch hours and after work, all without saying a word to Bella. And each day, a new group of women would be carrying out bouquets of my roses. But it didn't matter, Friday was upon us and I knew our stalemate was about to end.

Friday's lunch was just like the previous days had been, _a big nothing_, but I was just counting the hours until five when Bella had consistently been leaving for the day, but she didn't come. In her place however, was her assistant Angela.

"Mr. Masen, hi," Angela said meekly as she came out of the building to speak to me.

"Oh hey, Angela, how nice to see you again," I said politely, unsure of what she wanted.

"Miss Swan asked me to come down here and bring you back up to her office," she said shyly.

"Did she now?" I said with a smile. I couldn't help the slight arrogant grin I was wearing, because my plan had worked just like I had hoped; Bella wanted to speak to me.

I followed Angela into the building and up to the twentieth floor where Bella's office was. Like before, Angela knocked lightly twice, then opened the door and announced my arrival.

"Yes, thank you Angela, and you may leave for the day. Have a good weekend," Bella told her.

"You too, and good luck in Italy, Miss Swan," Angela replied.

After she hurried away, I was left standing in front of an angry Bella, which was nothing like I was expecting. Impassive, maybe, but definitely not angry. To be honest, I was hoping for more of the reaction the other Bella gave me_. Was it too much to expect tears of joy and gratitude?_

"Hey…I see you got my flowers," I said as I pointed to the huge display of roses sitting behind her. She may have given the previous day's worth of roses away, but she kept the 'Friday' ones, which was a good sign….I hoped.

"Yes, thank you," she said evenly, but her cold glare didn't falter. I really didn't understand her expression, I gave her the one thing that was sure would ease some of her hatred, and yet, she seemed even more pissed than before. _Fuck, will I ever understand this amazing-irate-beautiful woman? _

"So, I'm not sure if you understood the meaning behind the colors, but the lavender ones are said to mean 'love at first sight', and there's three because they represent the three years I spent loving you after our first kiss before we were able to be together," I explained. When she didn't react, I continued. "The two red, meaning 'love' for the two years we were together, and the twelve yellow which mean 'remember me', and 'I care', for the years we've been apart. And the one blue means 'the impossible', because even though it seems impossible for us to have a future, that's still what I'm hoping for. Just one…one future, just one more chance."

And then she broke….sort of. "The flowers are beautiful, thank you," she said with a hint of emotion. "But this," she held up the more important gift, "how did you do this?"

I shrugged. "Your aunt isn't as bad as she seems. Yeah she's an old mean lady, but I basically just had to give her a guilt trip and she caved." It was hard to keep the smile out of my voice, but it didn't last because Bella's face dropped. She wasn't happy, or emotionless….she actually looked sad. _Shit, what did the old lady write in the note to her? "_Bella, what's wrong?"

She pressed her fingertips to her forehead, and squeezed her eyes shut tightly, before finally opening them again to answer me. "I just ….don't know what to do here," she admitted. "I can give away your cheesy flowers, and if this was any other book I would have just tossed it in the garbage. But what the hell am I supposed to do now?"

_Huh?_ "Uh…You could just say thank you," I said, slightly bitter by her sour tone.

She sighed and then stood, so I did the same. "Thank you, from the bottom of my heart," she said softly. Her change in tone was as drastic as jumping from a hot tube into a freezing cold pool, and it actually gave me a migraine. "You'll never fully understand what this means to me."

"Yes, I do understand, which is why I got it for you," I told her frustrated.

"But the reason you got it for me is so I'll jump into a relationship with you….and I just can't do that," she said calmly. "And I'm upset because I know you went to a lot of trouble for this, and I don't want to seem ungrateful. I just wish you would respect my wishes and leave me alone, but this isn't something I can just…not accept, so you've put me in a really bad position."

"I know –"

"No, you don't know. This isn't fair. You're not fighting fairly with this," she said as she began pacing the room, keeping her grandmother's book in her hand as she went. "This is one of the most thoughtful things anyone has ever done for me, but it…"

"Doesn't make up for what I did, I get it," I told her. "But I didn't expect it to just wipe my slate clean, I just want a chance…Just, give me a chance….to be your _friend_. Can't we just try that?"

"Edward, I'm moving, and-"

"And I could use a good Italian vacation. You know, I have never been on a real vacation."

"Can you please stop finishing my sentences when you have no idea what I'm going to say," she said calmly.

"Yeah, sorry."

"I'm moving, and I'm with someone. You CEO types aren't the only ones who get antsy at thirty. I don't know if I want to get married right now, but Caius is a perfect match for me. He's hard working, and career driven, and we want the same things out of life."

"What the hell kind of name is _Caius_?" I asked bitterly.

"His name is inconsequential; he and I just make sense, and we work. We have common interests, we don't fight, and we have no issues with the amount of time the other spends away."

"Sounds boring as hell," I told her.

"It's my choice."

"Do you love him?"

"Not that's any of you business, but he's everything I want from a boyfriend or husband in my position, and that's enough."

"You didn't answer my question," I pushed.

"Because it's none of your business!" she snapped, but then she took a deep breath to calm herself. "He's what I want."

I nodded slowly, but still unwilling to accept it. "Are you planning to have kids?"

She scrunched her face up in disgust. "Kids? No, that's not going to ever happen for me."

I was completely taken aback by that. She was such a natural and compassionate mother, that I never expected her to ever say anything even remotely close to that.

"Why?" I asked.

"Kids are chaos, and I strive to maintain a very controlled life. Which is why having someone like you barge in here, just makes everything so…hard."

"Ok," I said, deciding to give up on that topic for the time being. I hated kids until I had my own as well, and I was sure she would be the same. "But everything you just said, about this guy being hard working and career driven, is exactly what I am. Exactly, except for the fact that I will love you every day, and make you actually excited to go home after work every night. We were happy together, and yes, we were kids, but we can find a new way."

"No, we can't," she said simply. "Thank you for the book…And for that it's worth, I do forgive you…but forgiving and forgetting are two different things. We had a nice time together…and I think we really did love each other as much as two kids are capable of, but…our time has past. Please, just let it go."

My mind was racing to come up with the next step, but I was drawing a blank. What the hell was I supposed to do, where was I supposed to go? Her grandmother's book was my last idea, the top of important gestures, and it failed. It wasn't supposed to happen like that. At the very least, I was hoping for the 'we can still be friends' speech. But once again, I felt hollow.

I couldn't remember what I said after that, and the entire trip home was a blur as well, but after a few hours I caught a lucky break….

"What the hell are you doing?" a voice said from the darkness. Yes, I was once again shrouded in the nothingness of my bedroom with the blackout blinds drawn, and once again, I was intruded on.

"Go away!" I shouted groggily.

"Man, this is the second time I've found you like this, and I'm not going to put up with your bullshit again!" Jackson yelled back. "Now, get the fuck up."

"Ok, fine, I'm up. Why the hell are you here?" I asked bitterly.

"Well, Alice did tell me that she helped you, though she didn't know what she did; anyway, now it's your turn to help her."

I sighed. "What does Alice need?" Despite my irritated tone, I actually did like Alice. She was sweet and had good intentions and absolutely perfect for Jackson, so I guess there wasn't much I wouldn't do for her.

"Well, she had a bad experience with a party when she was in high school, so she refuses to ever go to another alone. Now, there's some kind of get together with some people at work tonight, and she really wants to go, but I can't make it. So I'm counting on my best friend who is currently unemployed with no other obligations, to go with her and make sure she's ok."

I nodded. "Let me get this straight, you want me to babysit your wife?"

"No, not like that. Besides, she asked me to ask you, so it's not like I'm trying to control her or anything. Please man, I could really use you tonight."

"Ugh, can I just say no and not have you hate me?"

"No."

"Fine," I said, and then reached for the bottle of gin I had been drinking, and took another swig.

"Dude, knock that shit off, I need you sober. Fuck, man!"

"Sorry," I said, then let out a huge burp.

"Nice," J said sarcastically.

"Eh," I replied.

…

The music was too loud, and because I was already slightly buzzed from my earlier alcoholic consumption, I wanted nothing more than to leave. I didn't even really know where we were. It was some kind of party hall that was done up to look like a nightclub; why and what for, I had no idea.

"Well, this has been fun, can we go now?" I asked Alice.

But then she slapped me. "You have been chasing after _Mizz Swan_ all week, and she hasn't given you the time of day. She leaves this weekend, so here is your last chance."

"Alice, what are you talking about?" I asked baffled.

"This is her going away party. Poise New York is throwing it, and you, my friend, are my 'plus one'."

"I don't get it," I said still confused.

"Oh come on, you didn't buy Jack's story about me being afraid of parties, did you? I mean really, can you imagine _me _afraid of parties?" she asked with a laugh. "Oh look, there she is, go get her."

I automatically looked in the direction Alice had pointed in, and saw Bella there talking with some boring looking people. I didn't want to ruin her night, so I turned back to tell Alice to tell her I was leaving but she had disappeared. And then, I was caught.

"What are you doing here?" Bella came over and asked. "I thought you finally understood?"

"I did, uh, I mean, I do, but…" I looked deep into the eyes of the woman I loved more than anything, and then desperation sunk back in. Alice was right, this was my last chance, but it was time to do something drastic. "I'm not here for you, so," I said with a shrug, and walked away from her.

Coming on too strong didn't work; neither did the gentleness of flowers and emotional gifts, so I decided to try the exact opposite.

"What the hell does that mean?" Bella asked me while following. I couldn't help but smile as a response, though I refused to let her see it.

"I'm here with my good friend Alice over there," I said while pointing to her.

"The new pixie girl is your friend?" she asked skeptically.

"Yeah, my '_friend'_," I said suggestively.

"You just happen to be friends with someone who works for me?"

"Small world, huh?" I said casually.

"Yeah, well, have fun with your…_friend_."

"Yeah, enjoy your party." I walked over to Alice, and without pausing to introduce myself to her friends, I grabbed her hand. "Dance with me."

She giggled. "Are we making her a little jealous, or a lot?" she asked knowingly.

"What do you think?"

"A lot."

"Ok, but not to the point where my best friend is going to shoot me in the balls, ok?" I said, with slight concern.

"Oh, please," she dismissed my comment, and then swung her body around me in a seductive way. We moved and swayed to the music, and I had to admit, the woman was hot as hell. Not my type and I'd never go for my best friend's wife, but I could definitely see the appeal.

I could feel Bella's eyes on my as we danced, and strangely, every time Alice got a little closer than necessary, I felt guilty. The truth was, even if it worked, I didn't want to make Bella jealous. I just wanted her back.

When the dance was over, Alice wove her arm through mine, gave me a lingering kiss on my cheek, and we walked over to the bar. I bought her and her friends a few drinks, and spent the next hour giving them excuses not to dance with any of them. I had no idea where Bella had gone, but the more time that passed when I didn't see her, the more I was regretting my actions.

Fuck, I didn't even care if she would talk to me again; I just wanted to see her one last time before she left.

But then, she was there beside me.

"Are you buying everyone drinks, or just the chicks you want to bang?" her silky, slightly slurred voice sounded.

"Well, you would be included in that group," I said, lacking any control of the words coming out of my mouth. Damn, I must have been more buzzed than I thought. Sure, I matched all the drinks I had bought Alice's friends, but I was usually in better control of myself.

"Good, I'll have a 'Sex on Legs'…not that I can't afford to buy my own, or anything. What the hell kind of party is this anyway? I can't believe they make people buy their own drinks."

Bella was more friendly then I had seen that version of her since high school, so despite knowing it was probably to do with her alcohol intake; I was going to take it.

"You heard the woman!" I shouted over the music to the bartender. "'Sex on Legs'"

"Coming right up," the guy said.

"So, how many of these woman have you fucked?" Bella asked unexpectedly.

"All of them," I said without even thinking. It hurt to think. Thinking wasn't my friend, so I just let my mouth say whatever the hell it wanted.

"Hey you!" Bella shouted at Alice.

"Yes?" Alice replied.

"Is our friend Edward still as good in bed as he used to be?" she asked her. Oooo, I liked Drunk Bella; I liked her very much. If I had been sober myself, I would have never taken advantage of her and let it continue….or maybe I would have; I couldn't think clear enough to know.

"Oh he's better. I can lend him to you if you'd like," Alice told Bella– and Jackson seriously just lost his best friend status to his wife.

Bella and I sat and drank a few more drinks together, laughing about absolutely nothing, and all my inhibitions went completely out the window.

"Want to dance?" I asked her after awhile.

"You know better than anyone that I have two left feet. Remember prom?" she said while laughing hysterically.

In fact, I was far too wasted to remember prom at that moment, but I laughed with her and nodded. "Let's see if we can do better this time."

"O –ok," she said with more giggling.

We stumbled around the dance floor, and made absolute fools of ourselves, I was sure; but out of nowhere, the next thing I knew, her mouth was on mine and we were in full on make-out mode.

Damn alcohol! I couldn't even focus enough on what we were doing in order to properly enjoy it.

The room was spinning, lights were flashing, the music was thumping, and I briefly wondered how I even got to that place, and the next thing I knew, everything was quiet….

…

Once again, it was too bright. My brain felt like it was trying to squeeze out of my ears, and my entire body was pulsating with numbing deadness. _What the fuck happened last night?_

As I blinked to get my eyes adjusted to the cruel invasion of the light, I shook my arms to try and get my circulation back, and that was when I noticed I wasn't alone.

And there she was. My dream streaming out of my imagination into reality – or was I back in the dream world again. My heart jumped at the thought, and I quickly sat up and looked around hoping to find my cottage bedroom, praying the kids would run in and start jumping on the bed….but I was still in my condo.

My next semi-rational-completely idiotic thought was that I was imagining Bella there besides me, or perhaps I was projecting her face onto the random woman I brought home with me the night before. I must have been far more drunk than normal to allow some chick to sleep all night with me.

"Hey," I said, much softer than I intended to. I wanted to yell at the bitch to get out of my condo, but my throat was dry and that was the best I could do. "You need to get up."

The Bella-look-a-like began stirring, and I realized how incredibly odd it was that even when she moved, she still looked eerily like Bella. _Was I still drunk?_

But then she peeked out from under her sprawl of hair all over her face, and groaned.

"Bella?"

"Oh, god, please disappear," she mumbled. "I have to be having some sort of delusional nightmare."

Holy fucking shit, it was really Bella. She was really there, and even though I remembered nothing, we were both naked in bed so that could only mean one thing…._Fuck; I wish I could remember it!_

"If you were having a nightmare, then it would be some other random loser in bed with you, not me," I said playfully.

"Why, because you're my dream come true?" she asked mockingly.

"Aren't I?"

"You wish."

"Yeah, I do wish. But since we're on the subject, it seems my persistence hasn't been for nothing." Despite the pounding in my head and the feel of vomit brewing in my stomach, I was walking on air knowing I had her all night, so I was trying to joke around with her to break the ice, but she wasn't in the mood.

"Your persistence didn't do this….alcohol did." She rolled to her side so her back was facing me, and then she pulled the covers over her head. For just spending the night with the guy she claimed to hate so much, she was surprisingly calm.

"I'll go make you something that will help," I told her, before pulling on my sweats and heading towards the kitchen. For once waking up from a drunken haze with a chick was actually a good thing, but the last thing I wanted was for Bella to be feeling sick, so I whipped up a couple Bloody Marys and brought them back to the bedroom…where she was getting dressed.

"Leaving so soon?" I asked while my chest constricted.

"I'm moving to Italy tomorrow…_or is it today_?" she said confused. "Look, I really don't know how I ended up here…with you…like this," she said while gesturing to still unbuttoned top. "But it was a mistake."

I shook my head. "No, it wasn't.

'_Too strong is just that'_ – Alice's words replayed in my head, and for whatever reason, it all became clear. This wasn't the same Bella from my dream. She didn't want me to tell her that I loved her, that part of her disappeared probably not long after I did. This Bella was like me before, this Bella wanted to be closed off and feel nothing….but she was still the same Bella physically, which meant….she liked sex.

"We fucked; no big deal."

"No big deal?" she questioned incredulously. "What happened to 'meant to be' and all that crap?"

I shrugged. "Look, we're both adults, so I'm sure we can push all that emotional crap out of the way and just fuck."

She bit her bottom lip. "I don't usually do stuff like that."

"I do. It's really not a big deal…Fuck; I just wish I was sober last night."

"Why?"

"Because I really want to fuck you, and it sucks that I can't remember it."

"You just want to fuck?" she asked, as if it were a foreign concept. "No emotions?"

"We used to be really good together, weren't we? I mean we fucked like rabbits."

"We were teens with raging hormones. Things are different now," she argued.

I walked over to her, and slowly pulled her into me, making her half dressed body become flushed against my bare chest. She didn't pull away, or slap me, or tell me to back up. The heat radiating between us was undeniable and I knew she felt it too. Her breathing picked up, and arousal was written over every inch of her body.

I needed her, and by the look of it, she needed me just as much….

* * *

><p><strong>Please Review<strong>


	21. Walking

**Spinning Bottles**

~Chapter 21 – _Walking_~

_I walked over to her, and slowly pulled her into me, making her half dressed body become flushed against my bare chest. She didn't pull away, or slap me, or tell me to back up. The heat radiating between us was undeniable and I knew she felt it too. Her breathing picked up, and arousal was written over every inch of her body. _

_I needed her, and by the look of it, she needed me just as much…. _

Without letting her go, I leaned over and gently kissed her neck, just to test the waters. I wanted her, but I would never force it, so I was giving her a chance to say no. But when I felt her hand twist in hair, I knew she was ready and willing.

"Edward," she murmured unexpectedly.

_Fuck._

"Yeah," I said while looking up but not letting her go.

"Just fuck me," she whispered, and my body responded intensely by completely taking over.

I picked her up, and she wrapped her legs around my waist as I carried her back to the bed. _God, I missed having her surrounding me_.

She was all over me, grabbing and scratching at all my surfaces. Her lips found mine, and our tongues fought for dominance – I let her win.

I already had my shirt off, but I tore hers down her body while she slipped her hand down my sweats and right onto my hardness. I let out a moan as she began stroking me, but if she kept that up then I was going to blow it, so I pulled her hand out, and pushed my pants down. While I effortlessly removed her last article of clothing, I guided her down so she was lying on her back with her knees open, waiting for me to take her…and I wasn't about to keep her waiting.

My lips reattached to hers, and I used one hand to hold her wrists above her head and the other to position myself at her entrance, but then I paused. She was ready to take me in, and she actually whimpered at my hesitation while lifting her hips forward impatiently, but my body refused to continue. I had been trained, conditioned, and I wasn't even capable of entering her anymore without one very important detail…

"I love you," I whispered.

"Wha-" But before she could complete her question, I was inside her. "Oh, god," she moaned.

I began moving in and out of her, and she bucked her hips to meet my thrusts. It was hard and fast, and everything a good fuck should be, but it didn't feel the same. She wasn't just a good fuck, and despite what I had told her, it wasn't just emotionless sex; at least not for me. And then I had a revelation; for the first time, I realized that fucking could be just a harder form of making love. It didn't have to be emotionless the way it always was with every other chick, and it didn't have to be gentle and sweet like it was with the other version of her. It could be raw, painful, and even dirty, but still be laced with a strong deep-rooted love.

"Oh, fuck!" I groaned. _Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!_

"What?" Bella asked breathlessly, but then she must have realized what the problem was. "Oh."

"Sorry, fuck!" I growled, completely annoyed with myself. _What the fuck was wrong with me?_

I had no idea how this bitter, generally irate, standoffish Bella would react to my early coming, but I definitely wasn't expecting what she did…

"Wow, I never thought you were a minuteman," she said before laughing. She was actually laughing!

"I really don't think it's funny," I mumbled slightly bitter but really just embarrassed. I had cum too early during my first time with the other Bella as well, and just like this version, she had laughed at me, and I ended up laughing as well. Her laughs were infections and I was beginning to think I'd never hear them again with how angry she had been with me. But even more than that, it was impossible to stay grumpy when she seemed happy, and it was also impossible to be really upset when I was currently still inside her. Besides, like the last time it happened, my premature ejaculation wasn't my fault. "You shouldn't feel that good," I told her playfully.

She laughed again. "Sorry, I'll try to do worse next time."

And then I stopped laughing. Her words were exactly what they were in my dream, and it made me actually feel sick with confusion. Had it all been a dream? How could I have known she would say something like that? I had so many questions.

"What's wrong?" she asked lightly. "You know, it's really not a big deal."

I forced a smile as I pulled out of her. "I know…I'll make it up to you." And just like that, I was able to push the surreal thoughts out of my mind, and only focus on the present.

I kissed down her neck, and onto her collarbone. My lips trailed to her breasts, where I nipped and teased her nipple, and then continued down to her navel, and finally to the promise land. She was all hot and heavy, waiting for me to give her a release, and give her it, I did. It only took a few swirls of my tongue around her swell to send her over the edge, and she was calling out my name in torturous bliss.

_Fuck, I loved the way she tasted. _

I loved everything about making love to Bella; I loved the way she smelled, and the noises she made, and most of all, the perfect way she felt, inside and out. It was like the first time, and yet, I knew her body better than my own. She was mine, always was, and always would be. I might have misplaced her for twelve years, but there was no way I'd make that same mistake again. The trick was getting her to agree.

"Yeah, you made it up to me," she said while panting.

"And I will again," I assured her as I moved my lips to her inner thigh.

Her body was tense and relaxed at the same time. She had climaxed, but she was desperate for more, and so was I. I just needed to keep my stupid brain out of it, and we should be fine.

I kissed back up her body, leaving goose-bumps on her skin along my path, and when I reached her lips, I moved back into my favorite position between her legs, and once again, whispered "I love you" before pushing into her.

I didn't mean to say it, it was just an automatic reaction, something that just went along with the motion. I knew it wasn't what she wanted to hear anymore, but I didn't know how to make myself stop saying it.

I pumped into her slowly at first, just relishing in the feeling of being inside her, the amazing way I fit perfectly and filled her completely like we were made just for each other. It was cheesy and cliché, but absolutely true. No one else I had been with felt that good, no matter the position or speed.

But then I gradually picked up speed, and I could feel Bella's body tightening around me. I brought my hand down to her sensitivity trying to elevate her climax, but the she yelled at me to "stop".

"Stop?" I asked, forcing myself to freeze.

"No, don't stop!" she yelled.

"Don't stop?" I repeated. I was seriously fucking confused.

"Don't stop fucking me, just stop with your hand," she explained in a rush.

"Oh," I didn't get it, but I wasn't in the mood to ask either. I picked up right where I left off, _sans hand_, and immediately began thrusting faster, and harder, until she was crying out my name again and digging her hands so deep into my back that I was sure it had to be bleeding, but I didn't care, it felt so fucking good.

She tensed as her inner walls clamped around me, and the added tightness caused me to explode uncontrollably insider her, pouring everything I had and filling her with all my love, both physical and emotional. I pumped a few more times, just riding out the sensation until I was completely drained, and then pulled out. We laid next to each other on the bed, just catching our breaths and enjoying the peace and afterglow of amazing fucking. _Well, I thought it was amazing_.

"Um, it may be late to ask this, but…are you on…something?" I asked her hesitantly. I didn't mean to ruin the moment, but I didn't want her to be pissed at me for not wearing a condom either. Having kids with Bella was something I needed eventually, but not before she was ready.

"Yes, I'm on the pill, but you better not have any fucking diseases," she said casually.

I laughed. "Not anything you can catch."

She sat up and leaned over me. "You are dying, aren't you?"

"No…why, would you miss me?" I teased.

"I would definitely miss what you just did," she said with a shrug, and then laid back down.

"Ouch, that hurt. You know, you're killing me with this whole Ice Queen persona here."

"Yeah, well…" she sat up again, and then started moving around, so I rolled over to watch her.

"What are you doing?" I asked as alarm bells sounded in my brain. She was leaving, and I needed to figure out a way to convince her not to.

"I have a transatlantic flight tonight, I shouldn't be here. I still have a million things to do."

"Hey, what happened to 'missing what I just did'?" I asked, trying to conceal my panic.

"Well, next time you're in Italy, maybe we can hook up," she said nonchalantly.

"Ok, I'll be there tomorrow, where should we meet?"

She rolled her eyes. "I thought you said we were just going to fuck? No emotions?"

"So?"

"So, why would you follow me out of the country then?"

"Because you were that fucking good," I told her as seriously as possible, but had to smile at the end.

"Hmm, I must have been," she said with a returning smile. "But, I really don't think you being there right now would be too good."

"Why? You need time to break up with your boyfriend," I assumed.

She paused and looked at me for a moment, and then she continued getting dressed. "I never said I was going to break up with him."

"What?" I was completely dumfounded. A cold hearted bitch, sure, but I never thought Bella would be a cheater.

"Look, we have a different kind of relationship…" she said distractedly as she looked around for her shoes.

"What, the _'open'_ kind?" I said feeling more sick than I had before.

"It's not always about poetry and love songs, Edward. In fact, I prefer it that way."

"Why?"

"Because someone always gets hurt, and it's just not fair."

"Bella, I'm sorry I hurt you," I told her softly.

"No, that's not what I mean; I wasn't even talking about you. My last boyfriend and I were together for five years. He was probably the sweetest, most caring guy I had ever met, but…"

"But what?" I prodded.

"But he felt things and wanted a life that I didn't. I'm not that kind of girl. I don't want the gooey sentimental crap."

"Then why did you stay with the guy for five years?"

"You have no idea what being with someone like him was like. He was selfless, always putting me first, and was constantly asking if I was ok and how I was feeling. He got along great with my dad before he died, all my friends kept telling me how lucky I was, and to marry him and never look back….He was as perfect as they come and I cared about him immensely, and still do. The last thing I wanted was to cause him pain…but he wanted a family, and I couldn't do that for him."

"Because you didn't love him, or you just didn't want a family?"

"Both," she said automatically.

"You wanted kids when _we_ were together," I argued. "Maybe you just knew he was the wrong guy."

"We were only kids ourselves, I had no idea what I really wanted."

"But you did want me, you said you waited…for _years_."

She shook her head distractedly. "I waited for you, all throughout college. I was stupid and even though the months turned into years, I still thought you were going to come back….but you didn't, and I moved on. I dated some real jackasses, and then I met my ex and he treated me…amazingly, and for some reason, I just couldn't stand him. But I stayed because he was just too nice, and if I didn't want him, then what the hell was wrong with me? But he asked me to marry him, and even though I tried to make myself say yes, I just…couldn't. My current boyfriend is much more suited for me. No expectations of grand love from either of us. We both have respectable careers and we're exactly what the other should be in a partner."

"Partner? Sounds more like a business relationship."

She stopped and glared at me. "You know, I really don't need this, I have no idea why I'm telling you anything anyway. We were drunk last night, and I woke up in your bed, and then we fucked again….a couple times. Nothing more. I don't need or want your opinions about my life, and I sure as hell don't need you telling me that you love me before you fuck me! I didn't come here for that."

"Then why did you come here, Bella?"

"I don't know, I was drunk!" she shouted.

"Yeah, well, you could have passed out in any guy's bed, why mine?"

She bit her lip, and then grabbed her shoes, and stormed out of the room. And of course, I followed.

I watched her for a minute as she looked around my condo, seeming disoriented; obviously she didn't remember it from when we passed through the night before. She spotted her coat on the floor, so she went over to pick it up, and then saw her purse sprawled out by the front door. – We must've been pretty desperate the night before, because I also found the shirt I had been wearing in the same fashion.

As I watched her, I raked my brain for things I could say to get through to her, but one thought kept replaying in my mind. "Why didn't you want me to use my hand?" I asked her.

"What?"

"When we were having sex, you pushed my hand away. Why?"

"It doesn't matter," she said dismissively. "Look, this was…fun. But I have to go."

She opened the door to leave, but then I rushed over and shut it in front of her, leaving my hand pressed hard against it so Bella couldn't escape.

"Edward, let me go," she said slowly.

Could I do it? Could I let her go? Deep down I knew I couldn't force her to stay, and I couldn't make her love me if she didn't, but it fucking hurt like hell.

I swallowed hard and squeezed my eyes shut, before forcing my hand away from the door, and letting her out.

I needed a change. I couldn't continue with my same pattern of locking myself in my black room to escape the pain, I needed find a different coping mechanism; I refused to turn myself into a drunk like my father. I had done everything I could to get back into Bella's life, even feigned emotionless sex to try and inch my way back in, but nothing had worked, so perhaps I just needed to give it some real time.

I pulled out my laptop intent on finding a new job, _something preferably with ties to Italy_, but then the news popped up.

'_**EARTHQUAKE SHAKES NORTHERN ITALY**_**– Felt in Turin and Milan, structural damages have been reported. Aftershocks expected through the week. All flights to the area have been postponed.' **

I just stared at the screen blankly for an immeasurable amount of time; if that wasn't a sign to keep pursuing Bella at my current rate, then I didn't know what was. She had at least one more week in New York, and I knew it was do or die time…for real this time. I had no idea what I would do, but I had to think of something.

I spent the next few hours brainstorming, but I was really coming up with nothing. Returning her grandmother's book to her was really the biggest gesture I could think of and that basically fell flat. I had already done desperation, acceptance, hell, even anger; I needed something new…perhaps denial.

I got dressed and headed out. I figured that Bella was staying in a hotel since she was supposed to be moving that evening, so after calling the top three hotels in the area, I finally found her; of course she was at The Plaza.

It was interesting how vastly different Bella was on a surface level, to the one from my dream. This Bella was actually more like me; born from the simplicity of Forks, but grown to appreciate the finer things that the city had to offer. The Plaza was definitely where I would have gone as well, so her choice was surprisingly, unsurprising.

"Can I help you sir?" the hotel receptionist asked when I got to the lobby of The Plaza.

"Yes, I'm here to see Miss Swan. Can you tell me what room she's staying in please."

"Is she expecting you, Mr. –"

"Masen, and no, this is a surprise," I told him.

"Well, I'm sorry Mr. Masen, we respect our guest's privacy, and I cannot give out that kind of information."

"So, you can tell me that she's staying here over the phone, but you can't tell me what room number?" I questioned.

"I can verify that we have a Miss Swan staying with us, yes, but I cannot say which room. That is our policy Sir, I apologize for any inconvenience."

_Well, fuck!_

But, because this universe wanted Bella and I together just as much as the dream version did, Bella picked that moment to step out of an elevator. She was a vision in some designer dress that was far too short for my liking, but left me wanting her even more, _if that was even possible_.

"Never mind," I said cockily to the guy, and then walked over to _my_ woman – yes, _denial_ was weighing heavy on me at that moment.

"I would say that I'm surprised to see you, but I'm not," Bella said with a playful smile when she saw me.

I shrugged. "Where are we going?" I asked, because she was obviously going somewhere.

"_I _was just meeting some friends for dinner," she said suggestively.

"Really? Or were you heading over to my place for another fuck?"

She smirked. She liked to pretend that she wasn't into me anymore, but I knew the truth.

"I'm meeting friends, and I haven't decided where I was going after that."

_Yeah right_ – I had a hard time containing my smug expression.

"Ok, well, _let's_ go meet friends," I told her, and even though she looked slightly irritated, she let it go. I followed her outside, and when she flagged down a cab, I just climbed right in with her. She told the driver where to go, and I put my hand on her knee as we went. She didn't protest.

When we arrived at the restaurant, the hostess showed us to the table of Bella's already waiting friends, and they looked absolutely baffled as to why there was a hot as hell guy- _if I do say so myself_- tagging along with their Ice Queen friend.

"Hey," Bella greeted them, and then she scooted in the large rounded booth, and I scooted in after. There were four other women there, besides Bella, and all of them looked at me with amused interest.

"And who are you?" one of the bitches asked. Bella seemed to fit right in with the other women; all looked like well to do bitches with some sort of stick up their asses. _They were probably all women scorned who just needed to be loved_.

"Oh, sorry, this is my…" Bella paused, having no idea what to call me.

"I'm her fuck buddy," I said mercilessly. "She's just using me for sex, so I'm waiting for an opportune time to fuck her in the bathroom." All five of them let their mouths drop as a response to my forwardness. "Do you all know her boyfriend? Do you think he'd mind?"

Two of the women started snickering, but the other three, including Bella, continued to look shocked.

"If he does mind then I'll gladly take you on," one of them said after a minute.

"Really, well Bella and I are just casual, so I'm sure she wouldn't mind you accompanying me to the bathroom instead," I said straight faced.

"Bella?" she turned to her and asked. "Would you mind? I mean, he's not your boyfriend, right?" She couldn't be fucking serious; some friend she was. The woman wasn't ugly, but I definitely wasn't into her, though I did want to see how far Bella would allow it to go.

I looked at Bella impassively, and waited for her to answer.

Her jaw clinched and her eyes narrowed. "If that's what you both want to do," she said, refusing to look at me and struggling to keep her bitterness out of her tone.

She was ridiculously stubborn, but I wasn't going to let her get away with it. I placed my hand on her knee, just like I had in the cab, but this time I moved it up her inner thigh - right under the hem of her dress.

"Well, 'fuck buddy', shall we go to the restroom?" Bella's friend asked eagerly. The woman was obviously completely oblivious to my current hand placement under Bella's dress, which I began moving even further north and right under the elastic of her panties.

"You sure you don't mind?" I asked Bella while swiftly slipping my finger inside of her. She tensed and unconsciously opened her legs slightly, but made no move to push my hand away_. I guess my hand on her in public was ok, just not while fucking – she was one confusing woman_.

"Of course, you're welcome…" she tried to continue, but then I pushed my finger in deeper, and curled it to reach the spot that I knew would drive her crazy "to do anything you want," she said breathlessly.

"Isabella, are you ok?" one of her so called friends asked with passive concern.

"No…I need to go home," she said suddenly, and then shoved me off of the booth so she could get out, thus forcing my hand away from her.

"Well, your friend can hang with us," the horny tactless bitch said.

"No, he can't," Bella said, finally staking her claim on me. It was about damn time.

She grabbed my hand and pulled me away from the table, and straight out of the restaurant. "What the hell are you doing to me?" she yelled when we reached the anonymity of the street.

"What? You mean the casual fingering?" I asked feigning indifference.

"God, you're so frustrating!" she hissed.

"Sexually frustrating? Well, that's your own fault. I could have kept going until you climaxed, but you –"

"Just stop!" she shouted.

"Nope," I replied.

"UGH!" and then she turned and flagged down a cab. We both got in, and she told the driver to take us to The Plaza. When we arrived, she wasn't even surprised when I followed her inside and up the elevator, nor did she try to lock me out of her room.

She went straight into the bathroom, and when she came out, I grabbed her and pushed her against the wall. My lips attached to hers, and her mouth parted welcoming my tongue inside. She wanted me, even if she refused to admit it verbally, and that was enough for me for the time being.

We spent the rest of the night 'fucking' and sleeping, and fucking some more. She was insatiable, but then again, so was I. I couldn't get enough of her, and no matter what she said, I knew she felt the same way.

We spent the next couple of days locked away in her hotel room, ordering room service and only dressing when it came. Conversations about love, the future, the past, and relationships of any kind were forbidden, but I would still whisper _'I love you'_ before we had sex each time; she pretended not to notice. We were living in a world of lame movies, the mini-bar, and hours upon hours of nothing but limbs intertwined and quiet breathing. It was pure fucking heaven.

Towards the middle of the week, Bella said she had to check in at work, so of course, I went with her. We went to the Poise building and she made some calls, and then we decided to stop and have lunch at a nearby bistro. She ordered some fancy salad, and I had a burger, and then we ran into an old business associate of mine who picked that time to catch up as if we were friends.

"We must go for a round of golf soon," the guy, whose first name I had forgotten, said animatedly. "It'll be nice to go out and not talk business for once."

"Definitely, any time," I replied with faux interest.

"And who might this beautiful young woman be?" he asked, referring to Bella.

"Oh, I'm sorry, this is my girlfriend Bella," I told him, knowing exactly what I was saying. The whole 'denial' thing was definitely working for me, so I was going to continue it as long as I could.

Bella smiled politely and shook the man's hand, but I knew she was fuming.

After the man continued on his way, Bella laid into me.

"What the hell was that?" she asked irately.

"Oh, Old Man River doesn't know any different," I said dismissively. "What did you want me to say, that you were my fuck-buddy?"

She rolled her eyes, but didn't bitch any more.

After lunch we decided to walk back to the hotel, so I grabbed her hand as we went – she wasn't too thrilled about that either.

"What?" I asked when she pulled her hand from mine.

"I'm not your girlfriend, we are not in love, so don't hold my hand," she said sourly.

I nodded. "You're right, sorry," I said, and then placed my hand on her ass.

"Edward!"

"What?" I asked innocently. "Look, I only want you for your body, and this is just a part of it."

She stared at me incredulously, but then just shook her head and continued walking, and I kept my hand firmly on her ass for the rest of the way.

"You are incorrigible," Bella mumbled as we walked through The Plaza lobby.

"I know."

"Do you?" she challenged.

"Of course I do, and that's not going to change until you give in," I told her.

"Or until you get bored and give up," she said unexpectedly. _Was that what she was waiting for?_

"Baby, I'll never get bored of you."

"Wow, I think I just had a déjà vu," she said derisively.

"I was _never _bored, Bella," I told her with quiet intensity. "I was scared…and stupid, but never bored."

"And now you're fearless and smart?" she questioned.

"_Now_, I've learned who I really am, and what made me run. I don't want to be my father, but that doesn't mean that I can't be happy."

"It's as easy as that?"

I shook my head. "It wasn't easy, not even in the slightest. It took me twelve empty years and six eye opening weeks in order to get me here….but I can continue to wait for as long as you need to catch up."

"I can't," she said quietly.

"Maybe not yet, but you will," I told her just as quietly.

She bit her bottom lip, and then turned and went into the elevator.

* * *

><p><strong>****Big changes coming up next! Does anyone else smell the scent of pine trees?<strong>

**Please Review**


	22. Revelations

**Spinning Bottles**

~Chapter 22 – _Revelations_~

When we got back into her hotel room, Bella was different. She wasn't her usual horny self that she had been since we became fuck buddies. She just sat on the couch and looked at me.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing, just come sit with me for a little while."

"Ok," I said, more than happy to oblige. Fucking Bella was always amazing, but I was thrilled to just sit with her even more at that moment. I was slightly worried our talk in the lobby had pissed her off, but thankfully, that didn't seem to be the case.

She surprised me even more by lacing her fingers in mine, and that simple casual act was somehow more intimate than all of our fucking had been. "Is everything –"

"Don't!" she snapped, with her strangely sweet mood dissipating.

"Ok, don't what?" I was beginning to think she needed therapy for all her mood swings. Would it be too weird to go into marriage counseling before we were married…or even dating?

"Don't ask me if everything's ok. I don't want you turning into one of those super sensitive guys who I'll end up just feeling sorry for. You weren't like that when we were together before, and I sure as hell don't want it now."

"Ok, then I won't ask," I placated her. Was I never like that as a teen? I supposed not. I loved her much more than some puppy love romance, but I guess I was only as sensitive as a boy was capable of being at that age.

Her face relaxed, and then she scooted closer to me. Very slowly, she reached to my face, and began softly caressing me there; first on my cheeks, then down my chin, and then back up to my forehead. She lightly traced each of my brows with her forefinger, and then she ran both hands through my hair. I closed my eyes and couldn't help the purr that came from deep within my chest as a response of the amazing way it felt. I didn't understand what she was doing, but I didn't question it either. She was having some strange intense moment of stroking my face, and I really hoped it continued. When she brought her hand back to my cheek, I leaned into her palm, and she just cradled my face for an amazing moment.

"You still have the most perfect face I've ever seen," she murmured.

I reached up and gently caressed her hand, and then turned my face to kiss her palm. God, I loved her. No matter her Ice Queen mask and all around bitchy ways, I still loved her more than anything in the world.

"All these years," she continued. "I convinced myself that I had just made up how beautiful you were. But it wasn't in my imagination. Even with all the models I've seen in my line of work, none held a candle to you."

She leaned in and pressed her forehead to mine, and I wrapped my arms around her tenderly. Did it finally happen? Was she softening and letting her emotions seep through? Would she finally admit she loved me?

Keeping her head against mine, she moved even closer so she was actually sitting on my lap, and then her mouth sought out mine and we were kissing softly.

"Mmm, you're every bit as amazing as I remembered," she mumbled against my lips.

I was absolutely reeling from her sudden shift, and in that moment, I experienced true happiness for the first time in what seemed like forever. I was never that content in my dream world, because deep down, I knew it was just that, a dream. I couldn't fully let go and love that Bella completely the way I did right at that moment, because I knew it couldn't last forever. But right there, in the Plaza hotel, I was right where I truly belonged.

"I love you so much." I whispered, and even though she didn't reciprocate verbally, I truly felt it from her. Like with me, her love was always there, just hidden in a labyrinth of pain, but it was also added to, by the new emotions we created recently. We had both been fighting a violent game of Tug of War; her pulling away, and me pulling her towards me, but somehow through our struggle, I fell in love with the woman she currently was, Ice Queen and all. I understood that kind of behavior, because that was my life before, but I also had a unique ability to see past it to the woman I knew _she_ really was.

She reattached her lips to mine, and then we began removing each other's clothes. She laid back and pulled me over her, and I traced my hands up her legs and straight towards her sensitivity. But like before, she pushed my hand away.

"Why don't you want me to touch you?" I asked.

"Because it drives me crazy when you do…and I don't need it with you," she replied while struggling to breathe evenly. I stared at her for a moment, still clueless as to what she meant, but then she showed me. She grabbed my hand and moved it back between her legs to the warmth of her folds. "See?" she said, and her breath caught from my touch. _God, she was so fucking wet, and I had barely touched her_. "You're the only one who's ever done that to me without touching," she explained. "And I want to feel _you_ in me, not your hand…just you."

I kissed her gently on the lips, and then moved my mouth down her neck. She knotted her hands in the back of my hair, but then she stiffened.

"What?" I asked concerned.

"What happened here?" she asked as I felt her finger trace a small line on my forehead.

"What do you mean?" I asked confused.

"You have a scar here…and it doesn't look very old."

"I do?" I asked stunned.

"Yeah, I didn't notice it before. It looks like you had stitches recently?"

_Oh fuck me._ "Yeah, I fell…a few weeks ago." How the hell did I have a scar in the same place I had the dream stitches, and why didn't Bella or I notice it before? I reached up and felt where she was touching, and sure enough, there was a raised scar there. _What the fuck?_

"That's so weird," she said quietly. "I didn't see it before now and…"

"And what?" I asked.

"And I had a dream about you cutting yourself there last night."

"Really?" I asked with far more baffled enthusiasm than I intended. "What was the dream about?"

She shook her head. "I don't know…it's all fuzzy. I just remember you...sitting beside me…and I kissed you here," she rubbed my scar. "…over stitches."

_HOLY -MOTHER OF GOD - SHIT!_ I was speechless and just stared at her blankly. Did she really just say that? I had to have imagined it, right?

"Weird huh?" she asked. "I didn't see the scar before, and then I have the dream, and here it is. It's silly, I'm sure you had it before and that's what the dream came from."

"Yeah," I said with a shaky laugh. "Weird."

My stomach was churning, and I seriously felt like I was going to throw up. I didn't know how or why, but somehow, it was all real; somehow she must have tapped in to the memory of the other her. Perhaps it was the other her sending her visions about our time together, in order to help me convince her that we belonged together_. Could she have known we were having problems? _I was so confused_._

…

Bella and I made love, yes, _made love,_ and held each other for the rest of the day until we fell asleep in each other's arms. It was nirvana, and I knew everything was going to be different between us in the morning, but I never expected the type of change that happened….

I woke up…_alone._

"Bella?" I said, but she wasn't anywhere inside the room. I got up and pulled on my pants, and began searching the rest of the suite, but then I found a note.

_Edward,  
>I'm so sorry, but I couldn't stay any longer. <em>

_Flights have resumed to Milan, and I'll be on the first available one.  
>It's where I need to be, and New York is where you need to be, so please, for once, just don't follow me.<br>I know leaving while you're asleep is the coward thing to do, but I just couldn't face you and I knew you'd  
>never let me go. <em>

_We had a good time, and I think we both got some long needed closure, but our lives are too different now,  
>and this thing between us, whatever it is, can't continue. I've been thinking really hard about this, and I've<br>decided to accept Caius' proposal. Like I told you before, he and I are the same, we want the same things,  
>and I can't hold on to the past any longer.<em>

_I hope you find what you're looking for, and I'm sorry I couldn't be what you need. You really are great, and  
>you deserve all the happiness and peace you can find. <em>

_Have a good life, and I mean that in the most sincere way possible._

_X Bella_

_..._

My chest constricted in that familiar feeling of panic, except this time, I refused to chase her. I had done everything possible to get her back, including driving myself insane with faking indifference, and I was out of options. I didn't understand it, she seemed almost happy the night before, but perhaps that was her way of saying goodbye.

_Wretched bitch._

I didn't mean that, not really, but I was mad. She fucking knew what she was doing the night before when she made me think she cared, and I knew exactly why. She wanted revenge. She wanted me to feel the way she felt when I left her, and it fucking hurt like hell. I was stupid to try, and even stupider to open myself up to care. _'Have a good life'_ - yeah right. I wish I knew her number so I could call her and tell her to go fuck herself. Sure, I could follow her to Milan, but why the hell should I? I bent over backwards to try and make up for the pain I caused her, and all that resulted was falling into a world of pain myself.

What was the fucking point?

But perhaps _that_ was the point. Perhaps this was what I deserved. Perhaps….

I couldn't take it, the pain was too much. In such a short amount of time, my world had shifted to orbit around Bella, and without her I was left floating aimlessly through the endless black space. Where was I supposed to go, what was I supposed to do? Could I return to my old life? Get a new job much like my old one, find some bitch much like Tanya, and rebuild my walls of self-protection. Living like that seemed unfathomable at that point. I couldn't go back, but I couldn't go forward either. I was just…stuck.

Sometime later, maid service came to clean the room, so I dressed, grabbed my stuff, and left the hotel. I flagged down a taxi, and then had the guy take me home.

I failed, was completely defeated, and I felt all around lost. The feeling of confusion from being thrust into a life I didn't know, was nothing compared to the feeling I was currently having. _'Have a good life'_- was I really going to live for the rest of my life and never see Bella again?

"Hey, there you are," Jackson said unexpectedly as I went into my condo.

"What are you doing here?" I asked absently. "And how the hell do you keep getting inside?"

"I have a spare key," he admitted. "I made it one day when you were passed out drunk." _Oh….Jackass!_ "Look, I've been trying to get a hold of you all morning, but like usual lately, you didn't answer your cell."

"Sorry," I said carelessly, and then pulled my phone out of my pocket. _'7 missed calls'_. "You've called seven times in the last two hours?" I asked incredulously. "Jesus man, what the fuck? I get that you've been looking out for me and I appreciate it and all, but you have to remember that I'm a fucking adult."

"Edward, I got a call this morning from someone named Seth Black. Do you know him?"

"Seth Black? Doesn't ring a bell." _Or maybe it did._ "Hold on, Seth Black? There was a Seth Clearwater who worked for my dad…he was gay and his boyfriend's last name was Black. So…wait, why would he call you?"

"My apartment phone was your last listed number."

"Oh, right. Well, what did he want?"

Jackson took a deep breath. "I don't know how to tell you this, but…"

"But what?" I asked getting frustrated.

"It's your dad….he died."

And then the room started spinning.

I didn't understand it, it was too soon. My dad from the dream, or whatever, died weeks after the current date, so if it really was a parallel universe, then why did he die right then?

It couldn't be true, it wasn't fair. I was supposed to go there and talk to him, to ask him the questions I needed to know; to make things right between us again. I should have never been pining over Bella in the way that I had, I should have gone straight to Forks and talked to the old man. At least given him some peace before he died.

I fucking hated myself, and I hated Bella for dragging me around for so long. Sure, I refused to take 'no' for an answer, but it was just easier blaming her, just like I did for our original break up.

I would already miss the funeral, but I hopped on the first flight to Seattle anyway, which was a red eye so I'd be flying through the night, and spent the entire trip thinking about everything that went wrong. I had to be the biggest idiot who ever walked the planet, and I wondered how the hell I ever got a CEO position in the first place.

With my dad being gone, the last thing I wanted to do was go back to Forks, but I had to deal with his property and go through all his belongings. My thought was to finally sell the vineyard. Even though I could financially afford to get the place going again, I really didn't know enough to properly run it, so it was pointless to keep it.

When my plane landed, I rented a car and drove the familiar highways towards my home town, and when I arrived in Forks, the _scent of pines_ engulfed the car like a Christmas tree rotting in the family room. It was a bittersweet smell, a pleasing but painful reminder of the happiness that had ended far too soon. And like most children after Christmas, I felt like all the build up only led to a huge let down when it was over. All that hype of anticipation and expectations, and for what? A brief moment of joy and then forced to return to the way things were before. It fucking sucked!

I drove through down town and noticed that it looked exactly the same as my dream, and well, as the last time I was there in reality. Forks didn't change much, and that was oddly comforting in a way. I could always count on the same run down houses, and the same old people walking the streets. As much as I loved New York, Forks would always feel like the cliché version of 'home' that most people seemed to have.

I turned down the street that would take me to my father's property, and I had a sudden wave of anxiety. _What the hell was I doing in Forks without Bella? _I realized that was why I didn't return sooner. I was hoping to bring Bella with me there, because the idea of being there without her was excruciating.

As I drove past the vines, I was pleasantly surprised to see them in decent shape, and then I pulled up to my father's house and I was flabbergasted to see that the place wasn't run down like it had been the last time I saw it_. Perhaps I didn't have to sell it after all._

I parked the car, and out of the front door of the house, came Seth and Jacob. I wanted to go out and talk to them like we were old friends, but then I remembered that I never met this Seth, and the last time I had spoken to this Jacob, he had told me that he and Bella were together.

_Fucking prick. _

"Edward, hey. I don't know if you remember me or not…"

"Jacob Black, I remember you," I said coldly. "You were fucking my girlfriend after I went away to college," I said, even though I knew that wasn't true.

Both he and Seth looked extremely nervous and a bit scared. Did they actually think I was going to hurt them or something?

"Jacob, I'm only messing with you," I semi-lied. I actually was pissed; even more so since Bella had just abandoned me. I wanted to ask him why the hell he had told me over the phone that Bella was with him all those years ago, but it didn't really matter anymore. Bella was gone, and that wasn't his fault - not now, and not then. I should have done more back then, and there was nothing else I could have done now. It was time to finally move on. "How have you been?" I asked him, trying to sound as friendly as possible.

"Oh, uh, well, fine. Sorry, if we knew you were coming we would have been gone by now," Jacob said.

"Are you living here, or something?" I asked confused.

"Um, no. This is Seth, by the way, he helped your dad run the winery."

"Nice to meet you," I said to Seth while holding out my hand for him to shake.

"We were just over at the fermenting room trying to secure everything, you know," Seth added while shaking my hand.

"Right…Can we go in?" I asked, pointing at the house.

"Sure, of course. It's your house now," Seth said quickly. I followed them inside and was shocked at the state the house was in…it was clean.

"I was supposed to call someone named Harry to get the keys to everything," I said absently as I looked around at the tidy surroundings.

"Harry is my dad, but I have everything you'll need," Seth told me.

"Great."

"Um… I'm actually glad we caught you, there's someone who needs to speak to you as soon as possible. Here's the number," Jacob informed me.

"Yeah, sure," I told him, and took the card out of his hand to read it. "Child welfare services?" I asked questionably.

"Yeah…uh…" Seth said hesitantly. "It's not really my place to tell you this, but I guess you need to know. Your dad…he…sort of had another…son."

_ALEC! _

"Oh my god," I mumbled, unable to speak any louder.

"He wanted to tell you when he found out, but he was unable to track you down," Seth told me. "To tell you the truth, I think he was a little ashamed."

"So…" I looked back down at the card, "he has been…raising him?" I asked confused.

"Well, yeah. The boy…_Alec is his name_, his mother died and he didn't have any other family, so it was either your dad had to take him or he was going to go to a Boy's Home," Jacob explained. "But now that your dad is gone too…you're Alec's only remaining living relative."

I closed my eyes tightly and gave myself a moment to let it all sink in. I was back in Forks, my dad was dead, I had to take responsibility for Alec…and I didn't have Bella to help. How the fuck was I going to handle a bitter teenager alone?

But suddenly, I realized that having Alec back with me was exactly what I needed. He was my brother, but he was also a link to the family I had with Bella, and I loved him like a son. It didn't matter if Bella wasn't there and the other kids didn't exist; Alec needed me, and I refused to fail him.

I called the number on the card, and they said I could pick up my brother the next day, so after Jacob and Seth left, I took some time to look through the house. I went upstairs and into my old room, which surprisingly, was exactly the way I left it. I really thought it would have become Alec's room since it was the second largest in the house, but I was strangely happy that it wasn't.

After briefly looking at my old stuff, I moved on to the next room, which used to be my mother's sewing room, but that too was exactly the way I remembered it. Finally I looked at the smallest room upstairs, and found what looked to be a teenager's room, full of music and posters of sports teams; however it was nothing like the room he had back at the cottage.

_The cottage!_

Just thinking about the cottage made me have to go see it, and I couldn't wait until morning. The sky had darkened, but I didn't figure that would matter, except when I pulled up in front of the cottage, I realized that it did, in fact, matter. The place was even worse than it was when I was a kid; completely run over with weeds up to the windows, the shutters were falling off, and it looked like it hadn't been painted since the sixties. But even more importantly at that moment, there was no electricity, so there was no way to really see it apart from the head lights on my car shinning on it.

It was more than sad, it was heartbreaking. The place had become my home, but in this reality, it was neglected and run down into nothing more than a depressing echo of what it could be. But it seemed that was how everything was in this reality. The prick coward I was, and Ice Queen Bella; the cottage was just one more reminder of the sad lonely world it was without being together.

The door to the cottage was locked, but I didn't need to go in anyway. It was too dark and would be more of the same on the inside, and I had seen enough.

I went back to the big empty main house, and went to my old bedroom to try to sleep. Oddly enough, the sheets smelled freshly laundered, and I wondered if Seth and Jake had washed them, or perhaps my father did before he died….probably knowing I would be coming; the old man seemed to know those sorts of things. I laid awake, and thought about Bella. What was she doing? Was she thinking of me and regretting her decision? Somehow I doubted it.

But Bella was something I couldn't control or fix, and I needed to try to focus on what I could. I needed to come up with some sort of plan; Alec needed a home, but I doubted I would be able to live in my father's house. Maybe it was selfish of me to move Alec away from the place he knew, especially after just losing our father, but I really believed a fresh start would be better for both of us.

The next morning I got up early and showered, before heading out to the diner for breakfast.

"What can I get you?" a familiar voice asked. I turned and was pleasantly surprised to see who was standing there.

"Rosalie," I said with a smile.

"Do we know each other?" she asked.

"Oh…no, sorry, I just read you name there," I said, pointing to her nametag.

"It says 'Rose'," she said confused. "How did you know my name was actually _Rosalie_?"

"Oh, just a guess…How's Emmett?" I asked like a moron. If I didn't know her, then there was no way I should know her husband was Emmett, but of course, I opened my mouth without thinking.

She narrowed her eyes at me suspiciously, but shrugged it off. "He's good."

"Does he still have the garage?" I asked.

"Yeah…Are you a friend of his?"

"_Old_ friend," I admitted. "So, how's the adoption coming, you're still taking all four kids, right?… If you don't mind me asking?"

She cocked her head to the side. "The kids should be home next week…What did you say your name is again?"

"I didn't, but its Edward Masen," I said with another smile.

"Oh, so you're Junior. I'm so sorry about your dad, he was a very nice man…But I'm confused, how did you know about our adoption of the _four _kids? We haven't told anyone out of fear it won't go through."

"Oh…well, I think my dad mentioned – Do you still live on Birch?" I asked quickly, trying to change the subject.

"Yeah…why?" she asked, completely baffled as to how I knew so much about her life. I really needed to bite my fucking tongue or I was going to bury myself too deep to talk my way out of.

"Just wondering…I'll have a coffee, black."

"Ok, sure."

I realized that being in the town that I knew so well from a different life, was definitely going to be difficult. My memories from that other place were blurred with my memories from my real life, and it was hard to decipher between them. I didn't know who I 'knew', and who I actually remembered from my youth. It was rather uncomfortable.

I ate my breakfast, all the while, familiar faces would pass and I would smile a friendly hello, but otherwise try to pretend I didn't know them. It was just easier that way.

Afterwards, I went to pick Alec up. I was surprised by the fact that I wasn't nervous; in fact, I was downright excited. Even if I couldn't have my family complete, having even one part of it back was something that was going to keep me going through the pain of my loss. Alec would always be mine, and I wasn't in any danger of being forced out of the life I would create for us. I would never stop loving and missing Bella and our kids, but I couldn't change that, so I would only focus on caring for Alec in any means necessary.

When I got to the child welfare building however, I wasn't prepared for what I found.

"Jesus Christ," I mumbled to myself when my brother came into view. Alec from the other world was definitely challenging when I first met him. He got into a lot of trouble and pretended to hate the world; but this Alec took it to a whole new level. His hair was dyed black, he was wearing black eyeliner, black lipstick, and all black clothes draped with chains that clinked when he walked. He had on a spike chocker with a matching bracelet around his wrist, and an icy glare that would intimidate the weaker minded. However, I was not weak, and I was not intimidated.

"Ah, did you put on the makeup just for me?" I asked him teasingly. "You shouldn't have, I would have thought you were just as beautiful without it."

"Fuck you," he snapped.

"Watch your mouth!" the social worker scolded him. "Alec, this is your older brother Edward; Edward, this is Alec."

He glared at me from under his makeup lined eyes, but I just smiled at him. It didn't matter what he was wearing or how he was acting; he was Alec, and I had missed him like hell. I grabbed him, and pulled him into a tight hug…he didn't return it.

"Why are you hugging me?" he asked bitterly when I didn't let him go right away.

"Because I missed you so much," I said honestly. He probably thought I was psychotic.

"Can you let me go now?"

"Oh…sure," I said while letting him go. "Sorry." I took a deep breath, and then bent over to grab his bag. "Ready to go?"

"Sure, why not."

On our trip home, I couldn't help but to keep glancing over at him in awed disbelief. He was a fright, but he was real, and I had no way of ever knowing he existed before, if my trip to the other dimension wasn't real. It gave me an odd sense of peace knowing that there was a version of Bella that was happy somewhere, even if she was in a place I could never get to again. The other me treated her right, the kids were thriving, and that was most I could ever ask for. And after spending a couple weeks with the Ice Queen Bella, I realized that I never truly belonged in the other world. A tamer Bella needed a tamer Edward. I was a dick for so long that I deserved to have my emotions jacked with the way Bitchy Bella did. In fact, despite my current resentment towards her, she did things to me that the other didn't. It wasn't just sexual, it was almost a visceral attachment that I felt for Icy Bella; a feeling deep in my gut that I never felt with anyone else, not even the unconditional Bella. It was a surprising revelation that given the choice, I would choose Bitchy Bella over the sweet loving one; which ultimately just pissed me off even more about her _choosing_ to leave.

"Are you happy to be home?" I asked Alec as we walked in the house.

"Thrilled," he said sarcastically, before taking his bag from me, and running up the stairs, assumedly to his bedroom.

I felt bad for the kid. He had it much worse than the other version of him did. He was raised by the instability of our father, and didn't have Bella to love him regardless of his fuckups. His parents were dead, and he was left with a brother he didn't know. Fuck, I was sure his life sucked at the moment, so I decided to give him a little space.

I busied myself by spending the rest of the late morning looking through more of my father's things. I didn't plan on getting rid of anything that wasn't junk, but it couldn't all stay in the house either. I couldn't live there, but I couldn't sell it either, which meant the house would be rented out, which meant it had to be cleared out."

"What the hell are you doing?" Alec asked unexpectedly. He must have just come down without me hearing him, and didn't understand why I was boxing things up.

"We haven't had a chance to talk yet," I told him gently. "Why don't you come down here so we can try to get to know each other a little."

He huffed and dragged his feet, but he did come down like I asked, so at least that was something.

"What?" he asked sourly as he came to sit with me at the kitchen table.

"I just wanted to start off by apologizing to you…for my absence, and all. It's horrible that we haven't met until now, and for that I'm deeply sorry."

He shrugged. "What difference would it have made. I know everything there is to know about you."

"Oh, yeah, what do you know?"

"Dad told me you were some hot shot business guy in New York. You couldn't give a rat's ass about me or anyone else here. You ran away and never looked back. Hell, I'm happy for you actually; I can't wait to do the same."

I nodded. "It was wrong of me to leave like that, and now I regret it more than anything. I didn't know you existed, and if I had, I'd like to think I would have come back sooner to help dad with you."

"Yeah right," he said under his breath.

"Look, I know we just met, but I think it would be best to move."

"Why?" he asked bitterly. "This is _my_ house. Just because you hate the place, doesn't mean I do."

"Don't you?" I asked him skeptically.

"No. I just said I didn't."

"Well, then why do you dress like you're stuck in purgatory?"

"I…I.." he didn't have an answer.

"You look like you're doing whatever you can to lash out, and let me tell you, it's working. You want people to stay away from you because you don't have very high self esteem, so you dress like a goon hoping it would work, and all that results is you being lonely."

He scrunched his face. "You don't know me, so don't pretend to!"

"I know you better than you think. And even though I never did the whole Goth thing, I wasn't much different than you, not really anyway. I hated my life, I hated dad, and I just wanted to waste away until I disappeared. Maybe running away wasn't the right thing to do for me back then, but that doesn't mean a change would be wrong for you. Dad's gone…do you have a girlfriend?"

"No," he said bitterly.

"So there's nothing keeping you here."

"So, what? You just want to take me back to New York and live in some high rise?"

I shrugged. "I'm not saying that, but there are worse things. I need a change as well, so maybe we'll go somewhere neither of us has been. You're good at art, right?"

He scowled. "Yeah…How did you know that?"

"Lucky guess. We just need to find a place where we both can be comfortable."

He scratched his head. "Really?"

"Really. But there are some things we have to take care of around here first."

"Like sell the place?"

"No, we are definitely not selling. This was dad's dream, so we're not going to give up on it, but that's not to say we can't hire people to run it for us. We'll rent out this house, but I want to fix up the cottage so we'll have a place to stay when we come back to check on things."

"The cottage? Oh, you mean that old dump on the other side of the property?"

"Exactly."

"Can't we just get an apartment, or something? You're rich, right? Maybe we can get like a spiffy joint in Port Angeles and only drive here when absolutely necessary."

"Nope, we're fixing up the cottage."

He rolled his eyes. "Fine, I'm sure with you paying people to do it, it shouldn't take too long."

"Oh, I'm not paying anyone. You and I are going to do it together. Call it a bonding experiment, if you will."

"Hell no! That place needs a new roof, and the walls are rotten with holes. We basically need to redo the entire thing and I don't know anything about building a house."

"Ok, I'll hire some guys who know what they're doing, but you and I are going to do most of the labor."

"That's not fair!" he shouted. "How the hell do you expect me to do all that shit plus stay in school?"

"You have a break coming up, and then you can finish the year by correspondence and enroll in the fall wherever we end up moving."

He shook his head. "Whatever," he said. "Can I go back upstairs now?"

"Sure. We start work on the cottage tomorrow, bright and early."

Since I didn't know how to cook, I ordered a pizza for dinner that night. Alec came down, got four slices, and brought it back to his room to eat. But that was fine by me, he needed time, and I knew that better than anyone.

When the morning came, I woke Alec up, and after we ate cold cereal together, we went over to the home improvement store to get some supplies.

"You know, I keep waiting for the punch-line to this horrible joke, but this is just going too far," Alec said when I handed him a pair of gloves.

I laughed. "The punch-line will come when the cottage is complete."

It was pretty remarkable how quickly Alec and I became comfortable with each other. Sure there was a deep rooted resentment from him, but as far as being able to talk to each other, it seemed pretty easy.

We got the basic supplies we needed, and then we headed home. My plan was to start ripping up the moldy walls and take it down to the wood frame. I didn't expect it to be easy, or quick, but we had to start somewhere. Even if it proved to be too hard for us in the long run and we hire people to finish it, I still wanted to work on it as much as we could together.

When we got to the cottage, however, we ran into a roadblock.

"What the hell is going on?" I asked the man who was surrounding the cottage with 'Do Not Cross' tape.

"I'm sorry sir, but until the reading of the will, you can't enter the property."

"You have got to be kidding me," I said incredulously.

Alec snickered beside me, so I swatted him on the back of the head. "Ow!"

"When is the reading?" I asked the man.

"This afternoon. I'm assuming you are Edward Masen Junior?" the man asked.

"You're assuming right," I said annoyed.

"Great. Be at the Olympic Law Offices building a three, and this matter can be settled then."

"Perfect."

I was pissed. Obviously, all of my father's properties belonged to me and Alec, so I really didn't understand what the old up was. We were going to miss an entire day of demolition, and we didn't have the time to waste. The sooner we were finished, the sooner we could move and start our lives again.

…

"I just don't understand why I have to go," Alec complained as we pulled up in front of the law office.

"Because he was your father, and this is his will reading. I'm sure he had specific things he wanted you to have," I figured.

"This is so stupid."

"I agree, but it doesn't change the fact."

We were shown into a private office, where there was a medium sized conference table. Three men who were already seated, turned and looked at Alec and me when we entered the room. "You must be the Masen's?" the one in the suit asked.

"Yes, I'm Edward, and this is Alec," I introduced us.

"Yes, your father spoke of both of you. I'm Jason Jenks, your father's representative; this is Harry, the executor, and that over there is Collin, our legal witness."

"Hello," I said to all of them and shook their hands. Of course I knew Harry was Seth's father and my old man's best friend, but I had yet to meet him in this universe. I sat and gestured for Alec to do the same, which he bitterly complied. "So," I said, prompting them to proceed with the meeting.

"Sorry Mr. Masen, but we can't start until all those named in the will are present."

"What if he left something to someone out of state, or they can't make it for some other reason?" Alec asked full of attitude. I would have shot him a disapproving glare, but it was actually a good question.

"Then they would be forced to waive their right to witness the reading, of course. As it stands, everyone named is scheduled to attend today, so we must wait until three pm exactly before we can start."

"It's two fifty five!" Alec shouted exasperatedly.

"It needs to be three on the dot," Jenks insisted.

We all waited in annoyed silence for the next four minutes, but at two fifty nine, the door opened and someone else joined us.

"Hi, sorry," her silky smooth voice sounded through my head.

I turned, and there she was, _Miss Swan_, flustered and looking just as bewildered as I was feeling. Why the fuck would Bella come to my father's will reading?

* * *

><p><strong>***Please Review!<strong>


	23. Knocking Down

**Spinning Bottles **

~Chapter 23 – _Knocking Down_~

"_Hi, sorry," her silky smooth voice sounded through my head. _

_I turned, and there she was, Miss Swan, flustered and looking just as bewildered as I was feeling. Why the fuck would Bella come to my father's will reading_?

Bella looked at me and mouthed 'sorry', but I turned away and ignored her…or at least pretended to. I was pissed she was there…_and happy, even if I wouldn't admit it_, but I refused to let her get to me, not any more. I had more important things to take care of like Alec and my father's estate, and I couldn't let her bring me down.

"Ok, everyone is present and accounted for, so we can get started," Jenks said pleased, and then he looked down at the paper in front of him. "I will now read this – 'I, Edward Masen the First, being of sound mind and body, hereby bequeath my house, the cottage, and all of their contents to my eldest son, Edward Masen the Second. I know he will do right by them and give my son Alec anything he sees fit…."

My father's will went on to give his car to Harry, and he left Alec all of the remaining money in his bank account, along with his stocks, in the form of a trust for when he turned eighteen. I supposed it all seemed to be appropriate, but I was still confused as to why Bella was there.

"And lastly," Jenks continued to read my father's words. "'I hereby leave the winery and vineyard to… Isabella Swan."

"What?" Alec and I said at the same time. "I don't understand," I went on bitterly. "How the hell can he leave me the house and cottage, but leave her the vineyard. The house is _on_ the vineyard," I said incredulously. "And why the hell would he do that anyway?"

"You're right, the house and cottage were on the vineyard land, but your father had it rezoned so they were separated," Jenks explained. "And as far as _why_ he chose to do that, I can't tell you, but he did leave a private note for you to read separately from everyone else, so perhaps his explanation is in there."

"This is ridiculous," I said irately. "She hasn't seen my dad in years, so why the hell would he do this?"

"_You_ haven't seen him in years either," Alec argued with me like a smartass. "If he would have lived a couple more years, everything would have been mine."

"Sorry to disappoint you," I told him sourly. "But you're stuck with me, so get over it."

"Yeah, and apparently, we're stuck with _her_ too," he mumbled with humor in his voice.

I briefly turned to glare at Bella, but she didn't look back. She kept her head down and watched her hands as she twirled something around in her fingers.

Fucking bitch. She knew something about this, and the fact that she didn't say a damn word when we were together, just pissed me off to no end.

"Whatever. Are we done here?" I asked Jenks.

"Edward, your father -" Harry started saying, but I wasn't in the right frame of mind to listen to his defense of the old man right then.

"I really don't care," I cut him off. "Where are the deeds to the house and cottage?" I asked Jenks.

"Everything you need is here, as well as your father's letter."

"Great. Let's go," I commanded Alec as I grabbed the folder that Jenks was holding out for me.

"Wait, shouldn't we talk to the _attractive_ woman who now owns dad's vineyard?" Alec asked quietly.

"No, we're leaving _now_."

When Alec still didn't stand, I grabbed his arm and pulled him up. I could feel Bella's eyes on me as I moved, but I was so angry that I really didn't give a shit.

I continued to pull Alec by his arm right out of the building and into the parking lot, but then he yanked his arm out of my grasp. "What the fuck? That hurt!" he yelled as he rubbed his arm where I had been holding.

"Oh, sorry," I said. I definitely didn't mean to hurt him.

"I should sue you for child abuse," he added.

"Oh stop crying like a little girl, and get in the car," I said frustrated and annoyed.

"I'm not a girl, and I don't have to -" but he cut off mid sentence and smiled at something behind me. "Well, hello," he said strangely.

I glanced back, and saw who he was talking to. "Fuck," I mumbled. "Alec, get in the fucking car."

"No, that would be rude. I'm Alec, by the way," he told Bella. "I'm sure we'll be seeing each other quite often since you own the vineyard and all."

I couldn't help but roll my eyes. Alec was trying to fucking flirt with Bella, and it was irritating and just wrong on so many levels.

"Edward, can I talk to you for a minute?" Bella asked.

"Hold on," I said sourly, and then turned back to Alec. I pushed him closer to the car, opened the door for him, and shoved him inside. "Stay there."

"I want to talk to the woman…"

I leaned into the car so that Bella couldn't hear me, and I grabbed him by the shirt. "Listen, that woman is way too old for you, and even if you were eighteen and had a chance with her, she's my ex girlfriend. Would you really want to date someone that your brother has fucked ever which way possible?"

He scrunched his face in disgust. "No. Ugh, that's gross."

"Exactly," I said while letting go of his shirt. "Now sit in here, and shut up." I wasn't trying to be mean to the kid, but he needed to stop with the whole puppy crush thing, and it seemed as though being a little crude with him worked best.

"Ok, jeeze," he said, and quietly sat in the car and shut the door.

I tuned back to Bella, and walked closer to her, but still kept my distance. "Why?" I asked her.

She closed her eyes. "I'm sor-"

"Don't give me another empty apology, just tell me why you never told me about my dad's plans for the vineyard."

"I had no idea that he was going to do that, I swear."

"But you must at least know why," I argued. "Why would my father just give away his life's work to his son's high school girlfriend?"

She bit her bottom lip, and then I was sure.

"Damn it Bella, just tell me!" I shouted.

"I had no idea…but…"

"But?"

"But I've been sending him money," she said quickly.

"What?" I asked shocked. "What the hell do you mean; _you've been sending him money_?"

"I haven't seen him in years, but I would occasionally write. _You know I've always cared about your dad_. Anyway, he wrote telling me about Alec, and I wrote back asking how he was going to afford to support another person when he was losing the vineyard and going into foreclosure."

"So, you sent him money?" I asked incredulously.

She swallowed hard. "He didn't ask, but he needed it Edward, he didn't have a choice. At first he resisted the help, but then I told him that I would just be a silent partner in the vineyard. We never legally put my name on anything, but I guess this was how he thought he'd pay me back…. Look, I don't want the vineyard. Just draw up the paperwork, and I'll sign it right over to you."

"Why didn't you tell me about any of this when we were in New York?" I asked, ignoring her offer.

"Everything that happened in New York between us was…crazy. I felt like we never had a real moment to think about anything -"

"Because you refused to give us one!" I interrupted her.

"Because I couldn't go there with you."

"Just physical, I know," I said mockingly.

She pressed her lips, and then tried a different approach. "I hadn't actually written to your dad in almost a year. He's been doing the vineyard all on his own, so you should be really proud of him for that. And I didn't tell you about your brother, because your dad asked me not to."

"Why the hell would he do that?"

"I think he was ashamed," she said extra quietly, just to be sure Alec couldn't hear. "He was worried you would hate him even more than you already did. If you ever returned, he wanted to be the one to tell you himself so that he could apologize. He loved your mother, and he never wanted you to think it was anything less than that because he got Alec's mother pregnant so soon after your mother died."

"I would have come back and helped him," I said quietly.

"And that wasn't what he wanted. He was happy you had a successful life in New York, and the last thing he'd want was for you to give it up to help him."

I scoffed. The other version of him didn't have a problem with the other me giving up on my dreams to take care of his responsibilities, so why would my real father? It didn't make sense, but the man was dead so I'd never get my answer.

"Whatever," I said bitterly. "Thanks for helping the old man…and for coming today. I'll send you a check for the vineyard…._Have a good life_," I told her disdainfully, and then turned to go back to the car.

"Edward!" she called after me.

I didn't want to turn, I just wanted to keep walking and forget the fact that she had come back at all; but my unaccommodating heart was aching to hear anything she had to say, so I reluctantly turned. "What?"

"Um, I'm going to be in town for a couple of days…to visit some old friends, and such." She raised her shoulders. "Do you…want me to come by tonight?"

She couldn't be serious. After all the shit she gave me before about not leaving her alone, and her ridiculous note she left while running away in the middle of the night, there she was, asking if she could come over for a casual fucking. It made me sick…but god knew how badly I wanted her to regardless.

I took a deep breath, and then I was in motion. I closed the distance between us, and reached to cradle her face in my hands, and then kissed her roughly – passionately – angrily. She returned my kiss, but she seemed to feel the anger laced behind it, and she remained tense.

And then I pulled back, and let go of her face. "I love you," I told her. "More than you'll ever know….but I can't keep pretending that I don't, and I refuse to share you for a moment longer. Go to Milan…_and have a good life_. I mean that in the most sincere way possible."

I smiled at her sorrowfully, and without looking back, I walked to the car and then drove home. Alec was smart, and for once didn't say a word the entire way.

….

"Get up," I told Alec the next morning.

"It's too early," he mumbled groggily.

"Come on, we can't waste another day, we need to get started on the cottage."

"Ugh! Can't we just-"

"No! Now get up before I get a bucket of water and dump it on your face."

"I hate you," he whined.

"That's ok, but get up anyway."

"Fine!" he shouted. "I'll be down in a minute."

"Ok, but hey, leave the makeup off today. You'll be sweating and it'll just run in your eyes."

"It's waterproof," he said defensively. "Besides, I never leave the house without it."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever, but I'm putting my foot down with the spiked collar. If you fall, that thing will seriously fuck you up. Leave it at home or I'll rip it off you and throw it in the dumpster."

"I wasn't going to wear it anyway," he mumbled bitterly.

We took off to the cottage, and got right to work, with Alec huffing and complaining every step of the way.

"I'm not a fucking construction worker!" he shouted after we moved on to our second wall.

"Well a construction worker would be a better choice costume than whatever it is you're wearing."

"This isn't a costume," he snapped.

"No? You look like a vampire. I guess we need to save the roof for last, just to make sure you don't burst out in flames from the sun," I joked humorlessly.

He scowled. "I'm not a vampire either. And even if I were, I wouldn't bust out into flames; real vampires reflect the sun and throw beams of light."

I stared at him in disbelief for a moment, and then I busted out laughing. "They sparkle?" I couldn't even breathe from how hard I was laughing. "That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard."

"Yeah, well, you don't even know what you're talking about! Why would the sun make a vampire catch on fire anyway? It doesn't make sense. If they're hard as stone, then it's more likely that the sun on their skin makes them look strange because of what their made of…." He went on.

"Man, you read too many comics," I said finally.

"Comic vamps are at least better than those TV show ones. Why the hell would vampires eat food anyway?"

I shook my head, and went back to the demolition.

We got three walls down to their wood fame, and then Alec threw down his sledgehammer.

"There has got to be some kind of child labor law making this illegal," he said while wiping his forehead with the back of his arm.

"For crying out loud, stop complaining!" I yelled, completely irritated.

"What? I'm hungry!" he moaned.

"Ok," I said looking at my watch. "You're right, let's go get lunch."

"Finally!"

I tossed my hammer to the side, accidently throwing it into the adjacent wall, and the whole thing fell over causing a massive dust cloud when it landed. If that wasn't bad enough, the roof above where the wall had been, caved in leaving a huge hole.

Alec and I just stared at it in shock.

"Well, that would be a perfect place for a sky light," I said casually.

"We're both going to die," he replied.

"Maybe we should call in some reinforcements," I decided.

"After lunch," Alec pleaded and didn't wait for an answer before he walked out towards the car.

"Yep, this is the perfect time for a break," I told myself.

Since there really wasn't any other place in Forks to eat besides pizza and McDonalds, I took Alec to the diner.

"Hey Alec; nice to see you again Edward," Rosalie said as she came over to take our order.

"Oh, hey Rosalie," I said, but Alec just mumbled to himself incoherently. Rose didn't seem surprised by his behavior, and didn't take offense, but I was pissed at him. We told her what we wanted, and when she walked away, I kicked him under the table.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"Stop being rude," I scolded him.

"That's not being rude, that's just being normal. If all of a sudden I started being friendly to everyone, people would think I've gone mad and then they'd probably start believing that I murdered dad."

"He died of liver disease," I argued.

He shrugged. "They could think that was just a cover and that I really poisoned him, or something."

_He was seriously going to drive me insane_.

I was about to say something else to him, but really, what was the point? The kid was just that, a kid, and trying to understand him was beyond my capabilities.

"Well, Edward Masen, as I live and breathe," a familiar voice said from behind me.

I turned around and saw Emmett standing there, and I couldn't help the huge grin that came to my face. I probably looked like an idiot. "Holy shit, hey Emmett."

"Rose told me you were in town, but I never thought you'd still be here. How have you been…apart from your dad dying and all? Sorry about that, by the way."

"Thanks. Uh…I've been good, how are you? Getting ready for a house full of kids, huh?"

"Yeah, how'd you know that?"

"Oh, well, my dad might have mentioned something – So you're here to visit Rose?" I asked, quickly changing the subject and trying to deflect him from my unexplainable knowledge of his life.

"Yeah, I'm picking her up cause her shift is just about over. But it's really good to see you; it's been what, ten years?"

"Twelve, actually," I said solemnly.

"Wow, time sure has flown. But it's great, you're living you're dream in New York, right? You know, not many people have the balls to know what they want and actually go out and get it."

"I'm not sure if having _the balls_ to do it is really the right description of what I did," I mumbled. Running away wasn't brave, it was the most cowardly thing I had ever done, and I ruined a lot of lives because of it; in fact, there were two very important lives that didn't exist in this world because of my pathetic spineless action. _God, I missed Carlie and Anthony, and I knew I always would_.

"Well, whatever it was, you sure made a shitload of money…and that's the American Dream, right?"

I shook my head. "No, I don't think so. You're much closer to that cliché version of the 'American Dream'. Married with the two point five kids and all; I've been pretty much alone since I left here."

"Yeah, I guess," he said quietly, and then grinned widely. "I'm so fucking excited about the kids coming, its' not even funny." But then his face fell, and I knew him well enough to tell that he was seriously stressed out. "Well, it was nice to see you again. Good luck," he said suggestively while gesturing towards Alec who was obviously ignoring everyone and everything.

"You too…Oh hey, Emmett!" I called after him.

"Yeah?"

"Do you, by any chance, know anything about building houses?"

"Uh….yeah, I used to do construction. Are you building a house?" he asked confused.

"Actually, my dad left me the old cottage at the far end of the vineyard, and Alec and I are trying to fix it up, but it's just falling apart and we really have no idea what we're doing."

"Oh, well, you know, I'm really busy with the garage and getting everything set up for the kids," he said regretfully.

"Of course, I understand completely," I said honestly. I actually felt like an idiot for even asking, I knew better than anyone how swamped the man was in his life…

But then again, Emmett was the guy who would do anything for a friend…even a friend that he hadn't seen in a dozen years."You know what, I'm sure I can move things around and find some time to help you. I'll get some of the guys who work for me at the garage to come out too."

"I appreciate it Em, but I know how full your life has to be right now, so…"

"Hey, I want to help," he said quickly. "Besides, if people don't help others, then what the hell is the world coming to anymore."

I couldn't help but smile at him again. "I really have missed you," I told him honestly.

He smiled back. "I missed you too man, it's been a long time."

"Too long," I agreed.

He nodded. "So, I'll see who I can round up, and we'll meet you at the cottage."

"Sounds great. Thanks Em."

"Of course, man. See you soon."

I really wasn't expecting that kind of response from him; sure he was that type of loyal friend who treated everyone like family, but in this world, I hadn't been that kind of friend to him in return. Aside from Bella, he was my best friend in high school, and I was sure me leaving without a goodbye was hurtful. We were like brothers back then, but I left him just as I had left Bella and my father. I really was a piece of shit.

Alec and I finished our lunch, and then we headed back to the cottage, but it definitely wasn't a peaceful ten minute trip.

"Emmett is coming, so why do I still have to be there?" he whined.

"Because if you weren't, then I would miss you," I told him straight faced.

"Man, dad would have never made me do shit like this."

"I'm glad you brought that up, because I'd really like to know what you and dad did do together."

He crossed his arms in front of his chest, suddenly looking much younger than he actually was. "Why do you care?"

"Look, I'm still trying to get to know you, and learning the things you did at home with dad is just part of it."

"We didn't do much. He worked a lot, and I was usually at home."

"That's it? That's all you can tell me?"

"What else do you want to know? How whenever we had a conversation that went beyond what I wanted for dinner, it was usually about you in some way? Do you really need to know that even though you were gone, the old man still loved you more?"

"Alec, I…"

"No, don't. Just leave me the hell alone and don't ask me anymore questions."

The moment I pulled onto the property, and had to stop to turn down the dirt road towards the cottage, Alec practically jumped out of the car.

"ALEC!" I called, but he didn't stop, he just stormed towards the main house, and went inside. "Fuck."

I decided to give him some space, so I went over to the cottage to work on it alone for a while. However less than an hour later, three trucks pulled up, and out piled a bunch of guys. I was confused at first, but then I saw Emmett.

"Hey, you showed?" I said, truly grateful.

"I told you I would," he said with a smile. Along with the eight guys he brought with him, he also had a bunch of supplies that I never knew we needed in the back of the trucks.

"Oh man, I don't know what half of this stuff is," I said honestly.

"Yeah, I figured, that's why I brought them," Em replied.

"Thanks again, man."

"Don't thank me yet, let's see how all this goes."

With all the guys he brought with him, I wondered who was left to work at the garage, but then I realized that he probably shut the whole thing down for the day. I felt horrible about that, but I would definitely more than compensate financially, so I supposed it was ok.

We all got to work, and after a few hours, even more people showed up. By the end of the day, I swore, half the town had come to help in my little project; it was truly amazing to see everyone come together like that.

We called it a night when it got too dark to see anymore, but everyone promised to come back the next day, so I thanked them and headed back to the main house.

"Alec!" I called, but of course he didn't answer. He probably had his ear-buds in and blaring his music too loudly. I picked up the phone and called in a couple pizzas for delivery, but when they arrived a half hour later, I went upstairs to get Alec, and found his room empty. "Alec?"

I searched every room in the house, and then realized that my father's car, the one which technically now belonged to Harry, was missing.

Fuck.

I jumped in my rental car, and drove over to The Lot, where I assumed he would be. I drove slowly through the crowd of riff raff, and when I was sure he wasn't there, I turned to leave, but then someone stepped in front of my car.

Fucking James.

"Well, look who finally decided to show his face back in town."

"Fuck off," I said calmly. The guy was a loser, and I refused to let him get to me.

"Mmm, I don't think so," he said with a sadistic smirk. "See, I heard you were back in town, so it would be bad manners of me to allow you to leave without saying hello. We were friends once, remember?"

I pretended to think. "Nope, doesn't ring a bell. Now if you'll please step out of the way, I have somewhere I need to go."

"You know, I saw somewhere…in one of those New York magazines, that our old friend Bella is still one smoking fine piece of ass. Do you two ever, you know, hook up in the big city? Cause if I remember correctly-" He paused and smiled when he saw me getting out of the car. "Are we going to rumble?" he asked excitedly.

"Well, obviously you're trying to get a rise out of me, so congratulations fuckhead, you got one." Fighting the idiot was a long time coming, and I owed him a swift ass kicking for his behavior in the other world too, so it was time, and I just wanted to get it over with so I could never think about him again.

"Oh, I am going to mess you up," he said with a sadistic grin.

"I'm waiting," I goaded. I saw him pull back, but the bastard was so fucking wasted that I didn't even flinch when he shot his fist in my direction. He somehow managed to make contact with my jaw, but there was no power behind it and he probably hurt his hand more than he hurt me. "Feel better?" I asked evenly.

"I got you good," he said with a laugh. See, you didn't have a chance next to m-" and then my fist came in contact with his face, and unlike his pathetic attempt of a punch, mine knocked the son of a bitch off of his feet. "Don't start fights unless you can finish them," I said over his whimpering form which was rolling around on the ground.

"You fucking broke my nose!" he cried.

"Just be grateful I didn't knock you out cold, but don't think I can't," I warned him.

Punching the bastard didn't feel as good as it should have, but it was only because the entire thing was dampened by my concern for my brother, so I promised myself to return when I wasn't so worried, and actually enjoy the experience. The guy deserved it, every day he offended someone.

I got back in my car, and then resumed my search for my brother, but I was absolutely clueless. The other version of him had run away to The Lot, so I had no idea where else he would have gone. But I was in new territory with this Alec, and I was beginning to get anxious. What the hell did I really know about teenagers anyway?

I drove around for over an hour, but then thankfully, my cell rang and the caller ID read 'Alec'. He had refused to take my cell number, so I put it in his contacts myself the night before, and I was grateful in that moment that I had.

"Alec, where the hell are you?" I asked angrily when I answered the phone.

"Uh…Edward, hi, it's Bella," her heavenly voice sounded in my ear…but of course, I was pissed.

"Why the hell do you have my brother's phone?"

"I was driving back to my hotel in Port Angeles, when I saw Alec pulled over on the side of the road. He ran into some car trouble," she explained.

"Ok, so why didn't you bring him back?" I said, trying to control my anger. I really didn't know what the hell she was still doing in Washington in the first place, but I needed to remain focused on Alec.

"He's really upset and said he'd just run again if brought him back. So I brought him to the café at the truck stop here and bought him something to eat, and now I'm calling you to tell you he's ok."

I dropped the phone from my ear, and then pinched the bridge on my nose to try to relieve the migraine that was currently consuming me. It didn't help much, so I brought the phone back to my ear.

"Just tell me where he is, and I'll come and pick him up."

"Just take the 101 towards Port Angeles, and we're at the Pines Café."

"Fine, I'm on my way."

* * *

><p><strong>****We're not finished with the drama just yet. A big bomb could be heading their way (metaphorically, that is) :O <strong>

**Until next time…. **

**Please Review**


	24. Jumping

**Spinning Bottles**

~Chapter 24 – _Jumping_~

As I drove to pick up Alec, the thought of it being my last meeting with Bella was seriously weighing heavily. I had already accepted that I had to let her go, but every passing day my resolve began crumbling. Navigating through the world without her was definitely a cruel and unusual punishment, but I couldn't change my mind; for us to ever be together, she needed to break up with the Italian guy.

As it stood, Bella seemed absolutely content with being engaged to that guy and casually fucking me, and I couldn't continue down that path; I wanted her, but I wanted her in a loving monogamous relationship. Even if she did marry him however, I knew I'd never be able to really move on. Perhaps it wasn't the right time and place for us, but I'd never give up. Someday, somehow, she'd realize that we truly belonged together, and we would be. I would wait forever if I had to.

I pulled into The Pines Café parking lot, and saw Bella and Alec sitting at a window booth. I just watched them for a minute from outside, and briefly wondered if the other versions of them were doing the same thing at that moment. They were talking, and it looked like Alec was actually responding to whatever Bella was saying to him. _I only hoped he dropped the whole puppy crush thing._

Bella turned suddenly and saw me watching them, so she gave me a half smile and a little wave, and I responded by walking in through the entrance.

"Hey, what are we eating?" I asked casually as I scooted in next to Alec at their booth. He looked at me shocked, as if he was expecting me to immediately begin shouting at him for running away, and I wanted to, I planned to yell at him, but at that moment, it just seemed better to let it go.

"We already ate, but Bella said I could get ice cream," Alec said timidly.

I glanced at Bella across the table, and she was biting her lip. God, she was beautiful.

"Oh, well, I ordered pizza at home, but it's probably cold by now, so I think I'm going to order something to eat. I'm starved," I told them. "What did you get?" I asked Bella.

"Um… they have really good burgers here," she told me.

"That sounds good," I said, and when the waitress came, I ordered the monster burger, and because it looked like Bella didn't order any dessert for herself, I got a strawberry cola float. She narrowed her eyes at me, knowing better than anyone that I wasn't a fan of ice cream of any kind, but she didn't say anything.

"So, how's the cottage coming along?" Bella asked me. "Alec said you were fixing it up."

"Yeah, it's sort of a passion project. Emmett actually brought a bunch of guys out to help me, so we got a lot done today."

"That's great."

"Yeah, speaking of which, I'd really like to get the winery running again, but I need to give you the check. Should I send it to Milan, or do you just want me to give to you now?"

"You don't have to give me a check at all; I'll just sign it over to you."

"No, I have to buy it from you; it's what the old man would have wanted."

"Speaking as the only person at this table who's even seen dad in the last decade," Alec interrupted. "I think he didn't want her signing anything. I think he wanted her to keep the winery and run it."

"Alec, Bella works in Milan…that's a city in Italy," I explained, thinking he wouldn't know. "There's no way she can run a winery and vineyard in Washington."

"Well, then she should just keep it and hire people to run it." He turned to Bella. "You know, I graduate next year. I know enough to take care of things for you."

"Oh, well…I just don't feel right about keeping it. It should stay in the family," she said uncomfortably.

"Ok, so Edward still has a hard on for you, so just marry him and then you'll be in the family."

Bella's mouth fell slack, but I responded to Alec's tactless comment by smacking him on the back of the head.

"What? It's true."

"It doesn't matter if it's true, it's none of your business," I chided him.

"Whatever," he mumbled.

The waitress brought my burger and float, and Alec's ice cream. When I pushed the float towards Bella, she just glared at me. "Haven't we had this discussion recently? I don't eat this stuff anymore."

I shrugged. "Well, those types of rules don't apply in Forks."

"We're not in Forks," she argued.

"You know what I mean."

She shook her head with a faint smile, but still refused to touch the float.

"So Alec, what are your hobbies, what do you like to do when you're not at school?" she asked him.

"Well, my new dad here thought building the cottage was more important than school, so now I don't go to school anymore at all. And as far as other stuff, I don't do anything at all."

Bella looked at me incredulously, but I just rolled my eyes. "He's going to finish the year by correspondence because I'm not sure if we're going to stay in Forks just yet."

"Is staying even a possibility?" she asked surprised. "I would have thought you'd go back to New York as soon as everything is settled here."

I smiled. "I'm unemployed, remember? I'm just going to take my time to figure out what our next step will be." I shrugged. "I actually kind of miss the west coast, maybe we'll find some place in Seattle, or something."

"Really?" Alec asked excitedly. "That would be like making a fresh start_ and_ staying close to home."

I nodded. "That's what I was thinking. Its city living, but close enough to Forks that we can come back whenever we need to."

"Cool, can we move tomorrow?"

"No, tomorrow we're working on the cottage. _We're_ working as in, _we_, as in both of us," I told him sternly.

"It's not fair!" he complained.

"Hey Alec," Bella cut in.

"What?"

"You know, I heard working in construction can really build muscles."

"Really?" he asked, way too excitedly.

I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, I'm sure the girls will all be hanging around to watch the guys working," she told him suggestively.

He nodded absently. "Maybe I should help…you know, just because I'm sure you can use all the help you can get, and all."

Bella tried to conceal her giggles, but of course, I saw them.

It got late, so we decided to call it a night. I had a truck come to tow my dad's broken down car to Emmett's garage, where I planned to have whatever was wrong with it fixed, and then taken to Harry's house where it belonged.

When Bella said goodbye, she didn't promise to see us again, nor did I ask if we would; it was just easier that way.

Alec and I never spoke about him running away, but I somehow just knew it wasn't going to happen again, so that was enough for me.

The next morning, I was pleasantly surprised to see Alec already dressed by the time I woke up, but again, I didn't want to make a big deal about it because he'd probably be pissed that I was happy.

"No makeup today?" I asked as we headed out the door.

He shrugged. "It just gets in my eyes when I work."

"But isn't it water proof?"

"It is, but it still irritates." And we left it at that.

Like the day before, a huge crew showed up to work, and once again we got a lot done. It was hard physically exhausting labor, but the day flew by full of laughing jokes and reminiscing stories. It actually felt really good getting to know everyone again, and working with my hands, which wasn't something I had done in years.

At the end of the day, my body hurt, I was sunburned, and completely worn out, but I had loved every minute of it. I paid everyone cash under the table, that way they could have the money right away and not have to worry about taxes. Some guys refused to let me pay them at first, but after I argued that they missed pay from their real jobs, they reluctantly took it. Nobody came to help in the thought that they were getting paid, but at the same time, they were all working class and lived pay check to pay check, and really needed the money. They helped me, and I was going to help them in return. That was what being neighbors and friends was all about.

The next day most people had to go back to their normal lives, but promised to come help whenever they could. Emmett decided to send half his staff to help me, and keep the other half at his garage; which was more than generous.

The days continued in that way; Alec and I worked every day, Em would rotate his workers to come help me, and basically the rest of the town would come out in their free time.

"So, the kids are coming tomorrow, huh?" I asked Emmett when we were taking a lunch break…well, a lunch and beer break.

"Yeah, and I keep going back and forth between excited and nervous as hell."

"I hear you, man."

"So, how is everything going with Alec?" he asked.

"Surprisingly, pretty good. He hasn't cussed me out in a few days, so that's progress."

He laughed. "Yeah, I suppose so."

"Listen Emmett, I just wanted to thank you for all your help. I have no idea what I would have done without you coming in and bringing everyone…"

"It sounds like there's a 'but'?"

"But," I continued with a smile, "With the kids coming, I know you'll be swamped-"

He held his hand up. "Just stop right there. Having kids doesn't mean I can't have friends. Besides, I think it would be good for them to see how people can come together to help someone."

"Thanks…again," I said with another smile.

"You'd do the same for me," he said assuredly, and I wondered if I actually would. Sure, I would currently, but if he had come to me with a problem the year before, would I have helped him? I shuttered at the thought, because I knew I probably wouldn't have. But I had to be better now, and I legitimately believed that I was.

As the days turned into weeks, slowly but surely the cottage was beginning to resemble the subtle greatness of how I remembered it from my time in the other world. And as the cottage came to life, so did Alec. His hair was still black, but the makeup was completely gone, there was a natural sun tainted color to his skin, and one evening I saw his chock chains in the trash without me even asking him to throw them away. But even more importantly, he began smiling and even joking around.

Bella hadn't contacted me since the night she found Alec, but I was ok with that. If it wasn't the right time for us, then I would just have to wait. I had no idea if whether or not she went to Italy, but all I could do is hope she found some kind of contentment.

….

"Edward, I'm not sure they're going to like this stuff," Alec said concerned. Everyone had routinely taken Sundays off from building, so we decided to spend a Sunday buying a bunch of toys and such for Emmett's new kids.

"Why? Do you think it's all stupid?" I asked just as concerned.

"Well, I mean…they're all different ages, so the younger ones might like it, but what about the older kids?"

"Maybe we should stop at the store and get them like…basketballs and stuff," I suggested.

"To hell with that! Let's get them iPods."

I laughed. "That would be pretty expensive."

"Like you can't afford it," he said mockingly.

"Let's just think about this. The kids are four, six, ten, and thirteen, right?"

"Yeah."

"So, let's just give these gifts to the two younger ones, and we'll give the older kids gift cards to pick out whatever they want."

He thought about it, and then nodded. "That could work."

We ran to another store and bought a few gift cars for the older kids, and then headed over to Em's place. When we got there, Rose answered the door looking the least kempt that I had ever seen her, in fact, she looked downright frazzled.

"Hey, sorry to just drop by like this…"

"It's fine, come on in," she said with a forced smile. "Please excuse the mess; we haven't exactly found places for everything just yet."

"No problem," I said as I took a wide step over a pile of laundry in the doorway.

After meeting all the kids, we gave them their gifts, and they were all beyond thrilled. But it was pure chaos as they all ran about and just added to the already huge mess.

_God, I missed my kids. _It was like a deep hole that expanded through my chest, and down to the pit of my stomach. Some days it was easier to handle, but seeing all of Emmett's kids thrashing the house, the pain of my loss throbbed uncontrollably.

But even with the pain, being around Emmett and his now large family was a breath of fresh air, and I hated when it was time to leave.

"Hey, so, I think we'll be done with the cottage in a couple days," I said to Em as he saw us out.

"Yeah…well, you'll still have a while for all the decorative aspects, but the rebuild is almost done."

"I'm not as concerned with decorating right now, but hey, I was wondering if you could come over when the inspector comes to do the walkthrough?"

"Sure, just let me know when, and I'll be there."

"Thanks man."

"No problem."

….

Over the next few days, Alec and I spent most of our evenings discussing what we wanted to do once the project was complete. We talked more about Seattle, and we even began browsing apartment listings. I planned to contact a realtor once we firmed up our decision, as well as my agent to find an executive position at a company based in Seattle. We could just live off my current bank account for awhile, but I needed to work, if only for my sanity.

And when the last nail was hammered, and the final coat of paint had dried, everyone who had worked on the project came over for a celebratory party. It seemed like whole town came back; needless to say, the cottage was far too small to hold everyone, so most of us hung out outside and drank. Emmett once again, stepped up and offered to man the grill….but then, out came _the wine_.

_Fucking Seth!_

I had an instant déjà vu – Seth, handing out wine, which ultimately resulted in me losing everything.

"Oh, do you mind?" Seth asked when he noticed my deathly glare on him. "Some people were asking for it."

I gritted my teeth while looking at the bottle in his hand, which the read 'Fork's Own', but then I sighed a breath of relief. It was a 2003 vintage.

"Go ahead, that's what it's there for. I'm sure the old man wouldn't have it any other way." But then a new thought occurred to me. "Are there any 2000s left?" I asked him, unsure if I really wanted to know.

"Oh, do you prefer that year?" Seth asked.

"I was just wondering."

"I'll go check," he said with a grin.

My heart was pounding, and I began sweating from every pore of my body. Could I go back? I wanted to kick myself for not thinking about it sooner. If it were possible to go back at all, then I was sure the 2000 vintage was the key.

I waited anxiously for the next ten minutes until Seth returned…bottle in hand.

"You're in luck, it's the last one," he said as he handed me the bottle of 'Forks Own 2000'.

I just stared at it for an endless moment as the world continued around me in seemingly slow motion. It could be so easy; I could bend over and spin the bottle and be transported to a happier place where Bella and I were married with a couple amazing kids. I could see Carlie again, and hear Anthony's infectious giggles. It was so close; all that stood in the way was an unmade choice.

"Yo Edward!" I looked up at the sound of my name, and saw Alec standing there, with a scheming grin. "Since it's a celebration and all, I think I deserve a glass too," he said, gesturing to the bottle in my hand. His expression was youthful and yet, in a way, at that moment, he looked exactly like my father.

"Oh shit, did I just sleep through the past five years?" I asked with mock horror.

"Huh?" he asked confused.

"Well, I was just wondering because the last time I checked, you were only sixteen, right?"

"Oh, come on, dad used to let me drink it."

"Well, lucky for you, I'm not dad. Go get a soda."

He rolled his eyes. "Fine. But just promise me that you'll take me out drinking on my twenty first birthday."

I couldn't help but smile at him. "I promise….Wouldn't miss it for the world."

As much as it killed me to do, I made the impossible choice and decided to stay for good. It wasn't about picking this version of Alec over everyone in the other world; it was about fully accepting where I truly belonged. I didn't need that life to be happy, I just needed to find a way to find happiness in my current life, and looking at the familiar faces around me, I knew I was just one step closer to that ultimate goal.

I set the bottle to the side…_carefully_, and then went back to the party.

A few hours later, people started leaving, and Emmett and Rose came over to say goodbye. "Great party, man," Emmett said with a dude handshake-half hug.

"Couldn't have done it without you. Thanks for everything I told him, then leaned over to give Rose a hug. "Thanks for lending me your husband for the last few weeks."

"Oh, well, he's happy to help."

"Let me know if there's anything you guys need," I told them. "Oh, hey, the inspector is coming tomorrow; do you think you can make it?"

"Uh…sure, what time?"

"Around nine."

"Cool, see you then."

When everyone had gone home for the night, Alec and I went inside, and I carefully brought the bottle of 'Forks Own 2000' with me. The last thing I wanted was for it to accidentally fall over and begin spinning after I had already made the choice to stay.

Which brought up a good point, I needed to get rid of the bottle, because if I didn't, the temptation to escape my real life would always be there. Anytime things got too hard, or when Bella continued to deny her love for me, I knew I would eventually get desperate and try to go back, but being of sound mind at the moment, I couldn't allow that to happen. I needed to face my problems head on, and as long as that bottle existed, I'd never fully commit.

"Hey, have you read your note from dad yet?" Alec asked me unexpectedly.

"Uh, no. Why?" I had actually forgotten all about the note, but since he mentioned it, I was suddenly desperate to know what the old man wrote me.

"I just read mine, and I was wondering what yours had to say."

"Oh…well, I think they're supposed to be private."

"I know…I don't want to read yours, I just wanted to know what he said about me."

I looked at the bottle of wine in my hand, and then I came up with an idea. "Hey, do you think you'll be ok by yourself for a bit?"

"I'm not five," he said offended.

"I know, but…_you know_."

"I'm not going to run away either. Go do whatever you need to do, and I'll be here when you get back."

"Thanks man," I said to him, and for whatever reason, I wrapped my arms around him for another uncomfortable hug…except it wasn't all that uncomfortable, not anymore.

I grabbed my father's note, and the bottle of wine, and then headed for the door.

"Don't worry, I won't wait up for you," Alec said with humor in his voice.

"Huh?" I asked confused.

"You know," he said with a wink. "I won't wait up."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"You're taking the wine to Bella, for a little…" he winked again.

"Uh, no. I haven't talked to Bella since your little joyride."

"Joyride? I have a license."

"Whatever. Be good," I warned him, and then left.

I got into my car and drove to my intended location. The Quileute River was fast running that time of the year, and the drop to the bottom from Coyote Bend was surely far enough; not to mention it was one of my father's favorite fishing locations. My thought was that if I threw the bottle of wine over the edge, it would surely break, thus dissolving all my chances of ever returning back to the other dimension. A very small part of me was trying to force myself to stop, but I knew it was the right thing to do, and I had to get it done before I completely psyched out.

I had to park my car down the road a bit due to the traffic, and then I walked the distance to Coyote Bend and had another déjà vu when I looked over the edge.

"Fuck, that's far," I said to myself. I didn't climb over the barrier like I had before when I thought about jumping, but I could see enough to be freaked out. If I didn't know any better, I could have sworn the dirt and gravel was messed up at the exact point I had fallen, but that couldn't be from me, not in this world…_could it?_

My dad saved my life then, and in so many more ways that I couldn't even say, and I owed it to the old man to read his letter before I actually threw the last bottle of 2000 over the cliff. I carefully climbed down the path to the side where he liked to go to fish, and sat in his old place, and then opened his letter.

'_Dear Edward,_

_I know I haven't been the best father to you, and you had every right to leave and never look back,  
>but I'm so glad you didn't. Having you back, even for only a few weeks, gave me a sense of peace<br>that I never thought I would have, so thank you for that. It was hard on you at first, but you  
>persevered and allowed yourself to be happy. I only hope you can find that same level of happiness<br>in your real life, because that's where you belong, and I think you know that by now._

_Take care of Alec, the way I know only you can, and always remember that I love both of you  
>very much. <em>

_There is one remaining bottle of 2000 in my cellar, but I hope you never use it. Fight for what you  
>want son, but be patient. Bella needs even more time than you did, so give it to her and keep an<br>open mind. Remember, UNCONDITIONAL. _

_I'm sorry for all the confusion, but if I helped you in any way, then I reached my goal. It's bittersweet  
>to know that I could never give you what you needed in life, and only in death do we truly have<br>a connection. But like I always said, 'better late than never', and when the going gets tough, just look  
>to the sky and say 'Magic Vines', and everything will turn out ok. <em>

_In fact, do it now. Do it. Edward, I'm not kidding, look to the sky NOW!'_

…

The entire letter was odd, and yet comforting in a way. It was all real. Even if I already knew it was true, it was a whole other level seeing it in written form. Somehow, someway, my father was the same in both worlds, and he knew what happed in both. It was amazing and incredible, but the last part of his letter was unsettling; why the hell did he want me looking up, and why 'now'?

I shrugged my shoulders, and decided to do what he asked; he hadn't been wrong thus far, so I might as well trust him. I casually looked up, and then I saw her.

_Fuck._

It only took me half a second to be in motion, and I had no idea I was even capable of moving that fast. In less than thirty seconds, I was up the cliff and standing behind the barrier; my heart pounding out of my chest, but it had nothing to do with the physical exertion.

"Bella," I said quietly.

She turned to look at me, and with tears streaming down her face, she screamed – "Oh god, just leave me alone, please!"

"Bella, what the hell are you doing? Come back over the rail," I said slowly.

"What are you doing here? You weren't supposed to be here," she cried.

My chest constricted, and my stomach twisted in knots as reality sunk in. _Was she planning to jump?_

"Baby, whatever it is, just come back over and we can talk about it," I said gently. "Come on, give me your hand."

"Don't touch me," she hissed, and then she took a step sideways to get further away from me, but I could see the dirt crumble beneath her feet, so I paused.

"OK! Ok, just stay still; don't move any further, ok? Let's talk _now_, tell me what's going on."

She shook her head and let out a sob. "Just leave me alone, please."

"Baby, you know I can't do that. Whatever happened, it doesn't matter, we'll fix it. I'll help you."

She glanced back at me. "You wouldn't be saying that if you knew."

"Bella, I love you; I love you no matter what. Nothing you can say or do will change that."

She laughed once humorlessly. "Right. You left before when I never did anything wrong, of course you're going to leave now."

"Baby, I was a moron, but I swear, I'm not that guy anymore."

"And what kind of guy will you be in the next twelve years?"

"I have never stopped loving you, and I _never_ will. Baby please, just give me your hand."

She looked at me again, but her face fell and she started crying harder. "You don't know what you're talking about. You don't know me at all, you just think you do. How can you really love someone you don't know? I can't do this, not again. Please just let me go. I need to do this."

"No, you don't. Come back, just give me a chance to prove to you…"

"I've always loved you Edward," she said suddenly. "Even when people said I shouldn't, even when I pretended not to all these years later. But I can't do this again. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," she said, and then her eyes glazed over, and she turned, and let go of the rail.

It all happened so fast; there wasn't even a thought to move, my body just reacted. We both jumped at the same time…luckily, I was faster. I grabbed a hold of her, and on pure adrenaline, I pulled her back over the rail.

"No! Let me go!" she screamed out full of pain and agony as I had her in a bear hold on the ground.

"I'm never going to let you go, Baby," I whispered as she kept crying and flailing about to get out of my grasp.

"Please," she cried completely broken, and then she stopped fighting and just let me hold her as she sobbed.

"It's ok, everything will be ok," I murmured while trying to soothe her, but even as I said the words, I didn't know if I believed them. What could be so horrible that she would want to kill herself because of? "It's going to be ok," I repeated.

As long as she was in my arms, she was safe….

* * *

><p><strong>***Oh no, what happened to Bella? – FYI, that was only the beginning of the bomb, the actual explosion is the reason behind her attempt.<strong>

**A/N: Please don't think I'm making light of something as serious as a suicide attempt, because that is not my intention. If anyone knows someone, or has ever has had thoughts of suicide themselves, please seek the appropriate help. **

**National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)**

**Please Review**


	25. Echoes

**Spinning Bottles**

~Chapter 25 – _Echoes_~

_It all happened so fast; there wasn't even a thought to move, my body just reacted. We both jumped at the same time…luckily, I was faster. I grabbed a hold of her, and on pure adrenaline, I pulled her back over the rail. _

"_No! Let me go!" she screamed out full of pain and agony as I had her in a bear hold on the ground._

"_I'm never going to let you go, Baby," I whispered as she kept crying and flailing about to get out of my grasp. _

"_Please," she cried completely broken, and then she stopped fighting and just let me hold her as she sobbed. _

"_It's ok, everything will be ok," I murmured while trying to soothe her, but even as I said the words, I didn't know if I believed them. What could be so horrible that she would want to kill herself because of? "It's going to be ok," I repeated. _

_As long as she was in my arms, she was safe…._

…

The minutes ticked on, but I had no idea how many. Was it even minutes, or hours? I could have been holding her on the side of the bend for days, and I wouldn't have even noticed. My life had almost ended; if I didn't go there that night, if I had been even five minutes later, everything would have been lost.

Would I have even known? She could have thrown herself off the cliff and never seen from again, and I could have gone on with my life blindly thinking she was living in Italy, believing we still had a chance someday somehow. People disappeared in that area all the time. Whispers of man eating creatures circulated amongst the local native tribes, but really, the area was just so untouched that nature just consumed the fallen until there was nothing left.

Surely, eventually, someone would have reported her missing. She didn't have any family to speak of left, but surely her friends, people at work, someone had to care that she just disappeared….But then I thought about her bitchy skank friends, and I realized that she probably didn't have anyone real in her life that truly cared; no one to go to with whatever problem she had to have. God, she must have been lonely; at least when I was a dick before, I still had Jackson to care enough to call me out on my shit.

I realized then that it didn't matter what happened between us romantically or what caused her to want to jump, all that mattered was figuring out a way to convince her that I cared about her, truly cared, and it was unconditional. She needed to know that she could tell me anything and it wouldn't change my support for her. It was time to undo my sins of the past, or at the very least, makeup for all the pain I caused. That was my new goal, getting her to believe in people again, to reinvent her faith in me.

As the unknown minutes moved quickly and slowly at the same time, I noticed that she was completely passed out in my arms, but even though she was asleep, her body was still tight with her self-destructive pain; the same pain that was echoed throughout my entire body both emotionally and physically. I hurt for her, and because if her, and it was getting harder and harder to think at that moment. The adrenalin I felt before from pulling her back was long dissipated, and I was left feeling like my limbs were made of heavy noodles. So I searched within myself and mustered every last bit of energy I could find, and I picked her up and carried her to my car.

I wasn't sure what hotel she was staying in, but it didn't matter anyway; there was no way I'd leave her alone, not after everything that happened. But then I was stuck in a dilemma; Alec was home, and if he was still up then he'd certainly see me carrying Bella to my old room. I considered taking her to the cottage, but there was no furniture there and the heating and electricity wasn't turned on yet. And then I pulled up in front of my father's house, and saw the window to Alec's room illuminated in the darkness. He was awake, so there was no way to keep him in the dark about everything. We were family, so he'd just have to understand.

I got out of the car and then ran around to the other side in order to carefully lift Bella out of her seat. I carried her bridal style, and even though she didn't wake, she curled into me like an infant searching for some kind of warmth.

I shifted her weight so I could reach out and open the door, and when I got it open, I brought her right up the stairs. Alec must have heard me come in, so he peaked out of his room, but thankfully didn't say anything. He just looked wide eyed as I brought Bella into my old room, and kicked the door shut behind me.

"Everything's going to be ok," I whispered to Bella's still sleeping form as I laid her on my bed. I covered her with the quilt my mother had made, and then kissed her forehead. "You'll see, everything is going to be ok."

I wanted to lay with her, but I had a few things I needed to take care of first, so I slowly backed out towards the door, carefully opened it, and then quietly shut her in.

"What's wrong with Bella?" Alec asked in a quiet concerned rush.

"Shh," I hushed him, and then pulled his arm back down the stairs.

"What's going on?" he asked again when we were safely out of Bella's possible hearing range.

"Everything's going to be fine," I repeated to him. It was all I was really capable of saying at the moment, because I was so confused as to what actually happened. Obviously she tried to…. I couldn't even think the words, it was too difficult, and I most certainly couldn't say them out loud, not even to Alec.

But then I thought about something, and took off running back up the stairs. I vaguely heard the sound of Alec's footsteps behind me, but I couldn't stop to explain, at least not yet.

I crept back into my old room, and grabbed the bottle of painkillers off my nightstand, and then went out and continued around the house collecting all medications, hazardous cleaners, and last but just as important, the kitchen knives. Alec followed, but didn't say anything until I brought all the stuff outside to lock away in the car.

"Edward, what's going on…even though I'm pretty sure I have it figured out by now," Alec asked. I tried to think of the right thing to tell him, but I was coming up blank. "Did she really try to kill herself?" he asked suddenly. I looked at him confused, and wondered how exactly he figured it out. He must have understood my look, so he sighed. "It wasn't hard to figure out. You carried her in here, and then started taking out everything someone could use to off themselves with….God, what could have happened to her to make her want to do something like that?"

"Alec, you can't say anything about this to anyone, do you understand?" I managed to choke out after I finally remembered how to speak properly.

"Why did you bring her here? This is wrong, you should take her to the hospital," he asked.

"No!" I accidentally shouted. "She doesn't need a bunch of strangers trying to get into her head, she needs to be with people who care about her right now."

"She needs a doctor," he argued. "Edward, I know what I'm talking about, my mom tried killing herself a few times too, and she always went to the doctor after."

I stared at him in shock for a few moments. _Fuck_. I had no idea he was subjected to a suicidal mother before she finally died, and I realized that seeing Bella in that state must have been incredibly difficult for him. But what else could I do?

"I'm so sorry, Alec," I told him intensely. "I had no idea you had to go through all of that."

He shrugged. "I'm fine, but I know what I'm talking about."

"I know you do, and I trust you completely, but different people need different things. Your mom needed more help than anyone could give her, and in most cases, you're right, a doctor is important, but I can't take Bella to the hospital. The last thing she needs right now is for this to get out."

"What do you mean?"

I sighed. "This is a small town, if someone sees her at the hospital, word will spread and it will get back to the people at her work, and it could be very bad for her career. She's pretty well known in the fashion circuit, and something like this could ruin her. "

"Well, then we should definitely tell people. If she gets fired, then maybe she'll stay with us."

I shook my head. "We can't force her out of her life. Obviously things aren't going so well for her right now, but that doesn't mean we can make those decisions for her. She has to want to make a change, otherwise she'll never really get better," I explained in the best way I could think of.

He narrowed his eyes at me suspiciously. "Are you sure you just don't want her to lose her high paying job for selfish reasons?"

I scowled at him. "There is nothing I want more than for her to find a job that truly makes her happy, whether it be worth millions or nonprofit. All I care about is her getting better, but we can't force it."

He nodded. "Ok, I believe you. So what's the plan?"

"We just need to be there for her so she knows she's not alone, and help her in any way we can."

"Like a family?"

"Exactly. She hasn't had a family since her dad died, and I really believe that's exactly what she needs right now. So do you think you can help me with that?"

He nodded again. "Yeah, of course….but I still think she needs a doctor."

"Ok, well, when she's feeling better, we'll get someone to come to the house. Hopefully get her into some kind of therapy."

"Until then, helping her is up to us?" he asked, though it wasn't really a question.

"Like a family," I reiterated. "Now, I'm completely burned out so I'm going to go to bed. Are you ok?" I asked him.

"Yeah, don't worry about me. I'm going to head to bed too," he told me.

"Good. I'll see you in the morning." _Shit, the morning!_

"What's wrong?" he asked, seeing the look on my face.

"I forgot that the inspector is coming early. I'll need to call him and reschedule."

"No, don't worry about it. I'll take care of everything," Alec assured me.

"Really?" I asked surprised, and quite frankly, impressed.

"Definitely."

"Thanks," I said sincerely, and then went upstairs to my room.

Once again, I opened the door slowly, and went in before shutting the door behind me. Bella was still asleep on my bed, so I just watched her for a few minutes, and wished I knew what she was thinking. I didn't know her the way that I used to, and it killed me to know that there was no one to blame for that except myself.

I slowly climbed into bed with her and just wrapped her in my arms, and breathed in her scent until it forced me into unconsciousness.

….

I woke up with the sun, and was thankful that neither Bella nor I had moved in the night. My arms were still around her, my legs were tangled with hers, and she was still asleep. I casually glanced at the clock and was completely shocked that it was eleven am. I shook my head, thinking I was seeing the numbers wrong, but the time didn't change…at least not until the minute passed and it became eleven O one.

But I still didn't move.

I needed to be there for Bella when she woke up, so I just stayed there, wrapped around her, and held her for the next hour while rememorizing her face. I already knew her by heart, but being so close to her, I realized that her face was slightly different than hers was in the other world. There were no subtle laugh lines. In fact, she had no lines in her face at all, and I scowled thinking that she had probably used Botox…or perhaps she just never went out in the sun. At thirty years old I didn't expect her to be a wrinkled old lady, but surely some kind of sign that she actually moved her face. But I shook the thought away; there was no point in obsessing about something I didn't know at the moment.

Finally, she began stirring, and despite knowing she was alive, I breathed a slight breath of relief knowing she was ok…physically anyway.

She peeked out from under her lashes, and then she squeezed her eyes back shut.

I wanted to talk to her, I wanted to caress her face and tell her that everything was going to be ok again, but instead I decided to just give her some more time. I needed to find a way to prove to her that I would always be there, without suffocating her completely. Everything I had tried before in New York was wrong, I needed to think of something different. But instead of planning ahead, this time I needed to just play it by heart.

I kept my arm draped over her, but otherwise didn't move. I just waited. I would not bombard her with questions or make her feel like I was attacking her with accusations. I could imagine a million different reasons why she did what she did, but until she was ready to divulge that information herself, there was no point in trying to drag it out of her.

But she needed to know _my _truth, so I would only tell her once.

"Bella," I whispered, knowing she could hear me. "I love you, and there's nothing you could do that would change that. I'm here, whenever you feel like talking, and if you don't ever feel like it, then I'll still be here. I swear, I will never fail you again."

She didn't respond, but I didn't expect her to either. We laid like that a little bit longer, and then she suddenly squirmed out from under me, and walked shakily out of the room towards the bathroom. I got up as well, and just waited for her to finish. I heard the toilet flush, and then she came out looking nothing like the girl I knew. She was a mess, her hair and clothes were dirty, and her face was blank as she looked at me hollowly.

"Can I take a shower?" she asked evenly.

"Yeah, of course," I said, then flashed towards the dresser to get her a pair of my old sweats to change into. "Here."

"Thanks," she mumbled before grabbing them from me, and disappearing back into the bathroom and locking me out.

I sighed, but when I heard the shower turn on, I decided to take a couple minutes to check on Alec. I went downstairs and found him sitting at the table and eating a bowl of cereal. The kid was always eating, and I absently wondered if I was that hungry as a teen.

"Hey, how's Bella?" he asked concerned.

"She's…I don't know how she is actually. I just needed to come down and check on you. Is everything ok?"

"Yeah, all taken care of," he said strangely.

"What?" I asked confused.

"Emmett was here, and we walked through the cottage with the inspector. Everything was good, so congratulations, the guy said it passed. Here's the paperwork," he said while pointing at the stack of papers on the table.

"Wow, Alec," I said impressed. "Thank you for handling that for me."

"No problem," he said with a proud smile, and then went back to eating.

"I bet you're hungry for something other than cereal, aren't you," I said, realizing that I hadn't been shopping.

"Oh, I went to the store this morning and bought some stuff, but I just like cereal."

"You went to the store?" I asked in proud disbelief.

"Yeah, I figured Bella was going to be here with us for awhile, so I thought we needed some better food."

"Thanks," I said again. The kid had come so far in such a short amount of time, and I was beyond impressed.

"Does she like omelets? Cause I can make really good ones?" he asked.

"Um yeah…_well, she used to anyway_. Hey Alec,"

"Yeah?"

"Just don't ask her anything about last night, ok? If she wants to talk about it, then she will, but I don't want to force her."

"Got it," he said with a supportive smile.

"Alec, I really do appreciate all of this," I said sincerely.

"I know, but that's what families are for. We are a family, right? I mean you and me, that is. Whether or not Bella decides to stay with us, we're still a family, right?"

I nodded. "Definitely. And that's never going to change." I reached over and hugged him tightly. "You can count on me, Alec. I'll always be here for you, no matter what," I told him with conviction.

I felt him nod. "Oh, hey Bella," he said casually as he pulled away from me. I turned around and saw Bella standing on the stairs watching us. "Are you hungry, I make really good omelets?" he asked her.

"Really…that would be great," she said with a forced smile.

"Ok, I'll get started," he said excitedly, and then turned towards the fridge and started getting everything out.

Bella stood there and stared at me for a minute, and even though her face was riddled with her silent pain, she looked absolutely beautiful. Her wet hair was pulled back into a low ponytail and my sweats hung off her body but left her looking so young and innocent in a way. "Hey," she said uncomfortably.

"Feeling better?" I asked. "I mean, after the shower, and all," I added quickly.

She nodded. "Yes, thank you," she murmured. Then she took a deep breath, and walked around me towards the kitchen. "It's such a trip being back in this house," she said to me casually over her shoulder.

"Yeah," I agreed while looking around.

"I hate this house," Alec called over the sound of the bacon sizzling. "No offense," he turned and said to me.

"No, I feel the same way," I assured him.

"So, I say we start moving all of our crap as soon as possible."

"You're moving?" Bella asked with panic laced in her words.

"Well, eventually," I told her. "But the cottage is done now, so we were going to take the stuff we want from the here and bring it over to there, and then put the rest into storage."

"Oh," she said surprised. "Well, I can help you guys move your things, if you want," she offered.

Alec and I exchanged looks of confusion. Bella was pretending the night before didn't happen, but I supposed that was ok. I swore to myself that I wouldn't make her talk, so I was going to follow her lead and act as casual as possible.

"We can start today," Alec said carefully.

"Sounds good," Bella replied, and then she walked over to Alec to watch him cook. "Wow, you really do know what you're doing."

"Yeah, eggs are the only thing my mom always had in the house, so I learned how to cook them."

"At six?" Bella asked incredulously.

Alec shrugged. "I only burned myself a couple of times before I figured it out."

"God, that's…." she let her sentence trail off, and then she changed direction. "I'm glad you and Edward have each other now. We all know he certainly can't cook," she tried teasing.

"Hey, I resent that," I joked. "I cook…things."

"Boxed Mac and Cheese and frozen pizzas don't count," Bella argued playfully.

I thought about it, and then conceded with a nod. "You're right."

Alec finished the omelets and we ate together, and talked about everything other than serious topics. Alec told Bella more about his school, and we both filled her in on all our ridiculous stories of the weeks of rebuilding the cottage.

When we were finished eating, Bella insisted on helping us with the move, so that's what we did. Every once in awhile I'd catch Alec looking at me concerned and confused as to how she could try to kill herself one day, and then the next act perfectly fine as if nothing was wrong. But again, I couldn't push her, so we just went with it.

We loaded tuck full after truck full of boxes, and drove them over to the cottage. We wouldn't be able to move everything that day, but we were trying to get the most important things out first so we could actually be sleeping at the cottage that night. I had the electricity and heat turned on, and as the sun was beginning to set in the sky, Alec and I moved the beds. It was surreal to see Alec go straight to the room he had in the other world, and claim it for his own, but it felt really good at the same time.

Bella actually completely took over the stereotypical 'woman' role, and unpacked the kitchen while Alec and I continued with the heavier lifting. It was very domestic, and oddly comforting in the chaotic world we were currently living in.

As we finished up moving furniture, Bella began cooking something .

"Hey, what are you making?" I asked her.

"Dinner."

"I was just going to order a pizza," I told her gently.

She laughed once. "Alec is still growing, you can't just feed him pizza all the time."

"Oh…well…but you don't have to…"

"I want to cook, it relaxes me," she said quickly.

"Ok," I said softly, and then busied myself by removing the remaining empty boxes in the kitchen.

Alec was more than happy to have a fresh home cooked meal, and the three of us ate together and continued conversations about anything other than what really needed to be said. When we were finished, I did the dishes and I assumed Alec went to his room to set things up, but I had no idea where Bella had gone. I knew she didn't leave the cottage, but I was anxious not knowing where she was, so I rushed through the dishes, probably not cleaning them completely, and then searched for Bella. It was a small place and there really weren't many places for her to be, so finding her was easy enough. She was in _our _room, hanging up my clothes in the closet.

"Hey," I said so she would know I was there.

"Oh, I was just setting up your closet," she explained. She wasn't just hanging up my clothes I had brought with me from New York, she was also hanging my stuff I had left when I was eighteen.

"I'm not sure all that stuff will still fit me," I said casually. I was definitely bigger than I was at eighteen, not fatter, just more filled out….at least that was what I told myself.

She shrugged. "I'll just wear them then."

I smiled, _probably my first genuine smile of the day_, and then said "ok."

She had already made the bed, so I did the lame thing and made sure there was toilet paper in the bathroom, before coming back to watch Bella. I thought about asking her if she wanted me to go pick up her stuff from whatever hotel she had been staying at, but the last thing I wanted was to remind her of whatever upset her before. If she was happy wearing my old stuff, then I was too.

When she was done with the closet, I couldn't help but look inside and smile to myself again. She had placed all my newer clothes in the exact place my stuff had been in the other world, and she put my old clothes where hers had been. It was already starting to feel like home, and for a moment I could have sworn I heard the echo of Carlie's laughter.

I shook my head. If I wasn't careful, I was liable to go insane. I needed to keep my head straight and focused on the current, it was the only way to survive.

Bella went to go say goodnight to Alec, and when she came back, I took my turn to say good night to him.

"Wow, this is very…paternal of you," Alec joked when I came into his room.

"Ah_, son_," I joked back.

"You're not going to kiss my head the way Bella did, are you?" he asked with faux horror.

"Why, yes I am," I said with a smile and bent over. He thought I was bluffing so he didn't try to move, but when my lips came in contact with his forehead, he definitely seemed surprised, and well, disturbed.

"You're so weird," he said while wiping his head with the back of his arm.

"I know," I agreed. "You'll get use to it."

"I think the worst part is that I already am use to it," he said with feigned bitterness.

I laughed. "Thanks again…for everything. Goodnight."

"Goodnight," he said as I walked to the door. "Hey Edward," he called after me, so I stopped and turned to face him again. "Do you think Bella will end up staying with us?"

"Would you want her to?" I asked, legitimately curious as to his feelings on the subject.

He hesitated, but decided to say it anyway. "It's weird…but it feels like she belongs here with us."

I nodded. "Because she does."

"We just have to make sure she's ok…Ok?" he added.

"We're going to do everything we can," I assured him.

"Like a family," he said again.

"Exactly."

I said goodnight again, and then went back to Bella. I wasn't sure what she would be doing when I went back in the room, but for whatever reason, I wasn't expecting her to be where I found her. She was curled up in bed….on the same side of the bed the other her always slept in. It was definitely a trip, but felt completely right.

I pulled off my shirt, changed into some shorts, and gently climbed into bed next to her. Without hesitation, she rolled over to face me and curled into my chest. We didn't speak, we just drifted off to sleep just as we had the night before, _wrapped up together_.

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><p><strong>***I know, no answers, I totally suck! LOL. Stick with me, and you may just hear the explosion of Bella's bomb coming up next…<strong>

**Please Review**


	26. Spiraling Pt1

**Spinning Bottles**

A/N: You wanted answers, so here are _some_, but once again, it got too long, so I split it in two. I know, I know, I suck! ;)

I planned to keep this story solely in EPOV, but I thought it was best to let Bella tell her own story. This chapter starts out like all the others in EPOV, but then it shifts when Bella finally opens up. This is the ONLY time the POV will be from anyone else besides Edward, so don't get used to it. This is still ultimately about Edward's journey, and we'll return back to his mind as soon as Bella has her chance to explain.

**Warning-** If you are sensitive to the subject of abortion then you may want to skip this chapter. The mention is brief, but I don't want to offend anyone and I'm sorry if it does. If you would like to continue with the story sans abortion point, then please PM me and I'll give you a rundown of the chapter so you don't miss anything important.

Thanks ;)

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><p>~Chapter 26 – <em>Spiraling<em>-Part 1~

It was disorienting waking up in the cottage with Bella, and it took me a few minutes to remember how we got there and which reality I was in.

But then she giggled. "You look so confused," she said. I didn't even know she was awake, but then I looked at her and couldn't help but smile.

"I just forgot where I was for a minute," I explained. "Being in here is just…strange."

"Strange in a good way, or bad?" she asked.

"Definitely good," I said quickly.

Bella pulled out of my arms and sat up while stretching. "We should get an early start, there's still a lot to do around here," she said before getting off the bed. "I'm going to go make breakfast," she told me, and then disappeared out of the room.

I could hear her talking to Alec and I figured he'd keep an eye on her for a few minutes, so I jumped in the shower real quick. When I was done, the smell of pancakes filled the room, so I dressed quickly and followed the scent out to the kitchen.

"Hey Edward, did you know pancakes are actually pretty simple?" Alec told me as he watched Bella flipping one. "They're even easier than omelets."

"We just need to get Edward to learn to cook, and then you'll be set," Bella said with a smile.

"Why do I need to cook when you're here?" I said without even thinking. Alec didn't catch it, but I could see Bella's face drop from my comment, and it actually freaked the hell out of me.

For the rest of the day, I watched Bella carefully whenever she wasn't looking my way, and everything she did seemed to carry a purpose. Whether it be showing Alec how to do something new, or setting things up in the cottage so they would be the most accessible. It was almost like she was teaching from the 'Idiots Guide To…' handbook, and it made me nauseous. She wasn't trying to build any kind of new life with us; she was trying to show us how to live on our own.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked her that early evening after Alec had gone out to a movie. When she had cooked lunch that afternoon, she showed Alec exactly how to do it, and I needed to know why. I couldn't just continue to live in denial, not when it was becoming so blatant that she wasn't planning on staying.

"I'm just cleaning up," she feigned confusion, but I could tell she knew exactly what I was talking about, and she suddenly became extremely uncomfortable.

I tried to bite my tongue; the last thing I wanted was to push her away before she intended to leave, but she was like a ticking time bomb and it was driving me nuts, especially since I didn't know how much time was left on the countdown.

"Why are you hanging around and trying to teach us how to…get along without you?" I asked her.

"I'm not doing anything," she mumbled as she tried to busy herself with the dishes.

"Bella, please, can we just be honest for one minute? I can't fix this if I don't know what's broken."

"Nothing is broken, and the only thing I want you fixing is your own life…and Alec's that is. Taking care of someone is a lot of work, I know, I took care of my father for years. But a kid is on a whole other level, so you can't take that responsibility lightly. I just want you to be serious when it comes to Alec, he needs some stability."

"Then why don't you stay with us and help me give him that stability?" I said quickly.

She stopped and stared at me for a moment. "Edward, I can't…"

"Yes, you can. I'll send for all your things, or if you want to leave it all behind and start over with us then you can do that, I'll just go buy you new stuff."

"Edward, I"

"Bella, please, whatever happened, it doesn't matter. Just tell me…or don't tell me, it doesn't even make a difference. All that I care about is that you're ok. If we just stay together, everything will be fine..."

"Edward, just stop!" she snapped. "I'm not staying here with you. I can't."

"Why?" I asked desperately. "We could have a life together, a family. Why can't you just let it happen? I swear to you Bella, I will make you happy."

"You have no idea what would make me happy," she said heatedly. "You knew a version of me a long time ago, but that has nothing to do with who I became after… I don't want…the family thing. I told you in New York, I'm happy being alone."

"Really, then why the hell did you try to kill yourself?" I blurted out uncontrollably. I didn't mean to say it, but it seemed as though whenever I was caught in heated discussions with Bella, my brain to mouth filter completely broke down. "If you were so happy being alone, then why didn't you just go back to being that way?"

She parted her lips like she was going to say something, but then she shook her head and turned away from me.

And I felt like shit.

"Bella, look, I'm sorry. I told you I wouldn't force you to talk, and I won't," I told her, but she completely shut me out. She started moving about the cottage again, though this time it seemed like she was looking for something, but I couldn't tell what. "What are you doing?" I asked.

"Looking for my shoes," she answered emotionlessly.

"Why?" I asked with a mix of frustration and desperation.

"You're right, I can't be here anymore, and I shouldn't have come in the first place. I should have just left when I woke up…or I just shouldn't have come back at all. I need to go."

"Hold on, what do you mean _I was right?_ I never said you shouldn't be here," I argued.

"No, but you did say that I wouldn't have come if I didn't want a family, and since I don't, then I'm just going to leave."

"You're going to leave and go where? Back to Italy, or over the cliff?" I asked insensitively. Fuck, again, my words weren't really intended. Everything was coming out wrong, and I just didn't know what to say or how to hold it all in. I didn't know anything whatsoever at that point.

"It's none of your business, so just LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!" she shouted unexpectedly, before running out of the cottage.

Of course I took off after her, but there really wasn't anywhere for her to run. She wasn't carrying her ID or any money, she didn't have a car, and the cottage was far from any main roads so it would be a long walk. Surprisingly, however, she didn't hesitate, she ran straight out through the middle of the vines.

"BELLA!" I shouted after her. Neither of us had shoes on, and it was close to dark out, so I made the quick decision to run back inside to grab a flashlight and slip on my shoes that were by the door; I'd be able to catch up to her faster that way anyway.

The vines seemed to go on forever, but I could still see Bella ahead, and she was continuing down the same row, so all I had to do was catch up. I ran as fast as I could, but when I got close, she heard me and picked up her pace. Her feet must have been killing her, but she didn't seem to notice and ran full speed as if she was wearing cross trainers.

"BELLA!" I shouted again.

Fuck, why the hell did my father buy a vineyard? There were acres and acres of vines, most of which couldn't be seen from the road, and some I had never even stepped foot on. In fact, the portion Bella was heading towards was such an area. I had never been to that part of the property and as we got closer, I was completely taken aback.

"Holy fuck," I said to myself as I looked at the destroyed crops before me. Bella had slowed, but continued to tip toe through the old blackened rubble. "Where are you going?" I asked out of breath. She wasn't too far from me then so I didn't have to shout, but she still kept walking slowly.

"Twelve acres," she said evenly. "All burned down to this…And see? It was never able to recover."

"Ok?" I said, getting more and more confused.

"The vines were planted in sections according to age by the original owners," she went on. "These twelve acres were some of the most plentiful and produced the best grapes."

"So, what happened?" I asked, figuring she must have known since she was talking about it.

"I set fire to them."

"What?" I asked, knowing I had to have heard her wrong. "What are you talking about?"

"I know why Jacob said what he did to you when you called all those years ago," she said abruptly, seeming to change the subject.

I wanted to know about the vineyard, but I wanted to know about that phone call that I had blamed for everything even more.

"Ok, why would Jacob say you were together if you weren't?" I asked her.

"He thought you were someone else."

"Who?" I asked confused more than ever.

"James."

_What the fuck?_ "Why would James ever call you?"

She started pacing back and forth and kept her eyes on the ground, but then she slowly began to explain. "A few weeks after you left, he started hassling me. First it was little comments when we'd cross paths…."

**~Forks, Washington  
>Fall, 2000 – Bella's POV~<strong>

"_Why, if it isn't Miss Swan," James said at the grocery store. I fucking hated James, hell, most of the town hated James, but no one more than Edward. Everyone knew the animosity between them, so it was obvious that he was only bothering me to get to him, and I wasn't going to put up with it._

"_Good afternoon, James," I told him casually. The idiot lived for getting a rise out of people, so there wasn't much he hated more than indifference, and that was exactly what I was going to give him._

"_How's Edward liking the big city?" he asked as he followed me down a different aisle._

_I gritted my teeth. Of course he had to bring up Edward. "He's doing great," I said as politely as possible. The truth was that I hadn't spoken to Edward in weeks and he never returned any of my calls, so I was a little more than nervous, but I sure as hell wasn't going to tell him that._

"_Really, great huh? So I suppose you talk to him twice a day and every night, right?"_

"_Uh-huh," I lied, trying to ignore him._

"_That's just wonderful. It's so nice to see young- long distance love actually work out. Forget what people say, it doesn't matter what the odds are, you two will make it," he said condescendingly. _

_I tried to hold it in, but I couldn't help it and I snapped. "You know what, go to hell!" I shouted. Everyone in hearing range turned to look at me, but I really didn't give a shit. I needed to get away from the bastard, so I just left my basket and walked out of the store._

_But as the weeks continued, and there was still no word from Edward, I decided I needed to fly out to New York and make sure he was ok. Something was wrong, Edward wouldn't just break contact; even if he did have a change of heart, he would at least tell me…wouldn't he? I had to see him, just to know one way or the other, but when I went to buy the tickets, something would always go wrong and I would have to use the money to fix it. First my car broke down, then my dad needed help with the mortgage; it was always something, and I could never afford to go._

_But James was relentless, and somehow, he knew. "So, I can't wait to see Edward during his Thanksgiving break…He is coming back for a visit, right?" James asked me at work one day. I had decided to go to the local JC and help my dad with the bills instead of going to away to college, but that also meant working at Newton's Sporting Goods store where anyone could walk in and annoy the hell out of me, just as James was doing. _

"_Of course he's coming back," I told him confidently, even though I was anything but. The original plan was for Edward to come back for vacations, but since he never contacted me, I had no idea what was going to happen._

_I felt sick just thinking about it, and at times I could actually feel the depression seeping in and threatening to consume me. I didn't know how to exist without Edward, we had done everything together, and without him there was just nothing. Everyone else stopped talking about Edward around me because they knew how upset I was, but James was merciless._

"_Well, look, if you ever get tired of waiting around for him to not call, then just give me a holler. I sure as hell wouldn't leave you waiting."_

"_Fuck off," I said before flipping him the bird._

_Unfortunately for me, my boss just happened to be looking, and that little gesture cost me my job._

_After that, things just got worse. I tried to keep focused on school, but the whole point of staying local was to keep working, so without my job, it all seemed pointless. I tried to find another job to keep me busy, but no one was hiring, so when I wasn't in school, I was left wandering around alone and obsessing over what went wrong._

_Every corner of that wretched town held a memory; everywhere I turned, there were countless reminders of all of Edward's unkept promises. A life, a future that disappeared with Edward as he flew away and didn't look back. I didn't have a Plan B, and I didn't know what to do with my life anymore. Edward was always the person I would go to with any of my issues, but he wasn't there, and I just felt…alone. _

_But then, he texted me…_

_**Hey, sorry it's been so long, I had issues with my phone. This is my new number BTW – E**_

_I thought it was odd. It had been over six weeks with no contact whatsoever, and then he up and texted me with that strange cold apology? The red flags went up immediately, but I was so desperate for it to be him that I ignored them._

_**Where have you been, is everything ok? – B**_

_**Yeah, I've just been busy, but I really miss you – E**_

_**Why don't you just call me, I want to hear your voice – B**_

_**No, I'm in class right now, I'll call u later. I just wanted to say hi – E**_

_**Ok, what time are you going to call? – B**_

_**Later. I miss u so much baby, take a picture of yourself and send it – E**_

_My heart began pounding erratically. I knew it wasn't really him, but on the slight chance that he was drunk texting me, I went with it just a little longer. _

_**Take a picture of yourself first. I want to see you – B**_

_**I'm in class – E**_

_**Then wait until its out – B**_

_**K – E**_

_I waited for the next hour anxiously, but didn't have much hope of hearing back. But then suddenly my phone buzzed making me actually jump – I had a text._

_**My picture – E**_

_I pressed on the attachment, but because I had an older phone, it took forever. When it was finally done loading however, my heart sank… It was disgusting picture of a penis going into some skank's mouth. _

_I threw the phone to the side._

_I knew it wasn't Edward, but the disgusting joke just further proved that the real Edward had left me behind…and wasn't coming back._

_I told myself that I didn't need him, but I just couldn't move on._

_And then the calls started… _

_The first time I got an unknown caller, I answered it. "Hello?" For a brief second, I thought perhaps Edward really was having issues with his phone so he got a new number…but it wasn't him._

"_Hey baby, now that you're single, why don't you come on over and I'll show you what a real man feels like."_

"_Who is this?" I asked, but then he hung up. I had a feeling it was only James, who must have gotten my number from someone, but the fact that I wasn't completely sure just freaked the hell out of me._

_And then my phone rang again._

"_Listen you prick-"_

"_Bella?" _

"_Oh, sorry dad," I said embarrassed. I guess I should have glanced at the caller ID before answering._

"_What's going on sweetheart? Did that idiot Masen kid do something to -"_

"_No, dad, nothing is going on," I cut him off. "Just some jerks prank calling. No big deal."_

"_Okay…Anyway, I just called to say I'll be later tonight."_

"_Ok," I said before hanging up. _

_I went about my afternoon, but a few hours later, I got another call. The caller ID read 'Unknown', but reluctantly, I answered it anyway. "Hello?"_

"_Do you like tea?" a male voice asked._

"_Huh?"_

"_Cause I'd really love to teabag you. I bet my balls would feel so good in that sexy mouth of yours."_

"_James, if this is you, I swear, I will fucking kick…" The line went dead. The odd thing was however, that the voice sounded different than the first one who called. _

_Calls continued in that manner through the week. It was always a different male voice, and they always had something vulgar to say. When I didn't answer, they left messages, and when I ignored those, they texted. I couldn't take it anymore, so I went and had my cell phone number changed. _

_But then they started calling the house. If they knew my home number, then they knew where I lived, so when one of the guys left a message saying they were going to climb through my window and shower with me, I got scared. Even if James was behind them, it was getting out of control and I wasn't sure how far they would take it. _

_I became absolutely paranoid. When I'd walk in town, I'd notice guys staring at me, and I wondered if they were the ones calling me all the time. Did they have less than playful intentions?_

_I started skipping classes just to avoid being around people, because for all I knew, the calls were coming from guys at school. I thought about telling my dad what was going on, but he was dealing with some missing person case, and the last thing I wanted to do was bother him with stupid immature boys messing with me._

_It was all becoming too much, but thankfully one day, Jacob Black stopped by._

"_Hey," I said uncomfortably. I didn't know him very well, at least not anything more than one of my father's friend's kids who had a crush on me growing up, and since I had no idea who had been calling me, every guy became a suspect in my book, which included him._

"_Hey, sorry to bother you, I was just dropping some stuff off for your dad from my dad," he explained. _

_I looked into his eyes, and somehow I just knew he wasn't one of the guys harassing me."Oh, sure, come on in," I said while opening the door. I didn't know why, but I trusted him and he made me feel safe for the first time in months._

"_So, how have you been?" he asked casually. "Your dad said you've been under a lot of stress from school. He thought it would be a good idea if I came over to ask you out some time…you know, like out as friends."_

"_Oh, well, thanks, but I don't think so. No offense, but I'm just not ready for that sort of thing," I said emotionlessly. _

"_Uh…Bella, you do know I'm gay, right?" he asked unexpectedly. _

"_Huh? You are? But why…" I asked confused as to why he was asking me out if he was gay._

"_When I said I wanted to go out as friends, I meant it."_

_Oh. _

"_Oh, right, sorry. But still, that's nice of you to ask, but I'm just not feeling up to anything right now."_

_And then the phone rang….but I refused to answer._

"_Aren't you going to get that?" he asked._

"_Uh, no," I said nervously._

"_Why, what's going on?"_

_Jacob wasn't my friend before that day, but for whatever reason, I confided in him and told him everything. I cried into his shoulder as I told him how much pain I was in from losing Edward, and I admitted my fear of the cruel calls that seemed never ending. And Jacob did the one thing that none of my other friends would do for me…he just listened. _

"_Go upstairs and get yourself cleaned up, and we are going to get some ice cream. I'm fresh off a break up as well, so we can just eat away our pain," he told me._

_I didn't want to go out, but it actually felt kind of nice to be forced. When I got out of the shower however, Jacob had an angered look on his face._

"_What is it?" I asked him._

"_I answered the phone, and it was one of those jackasses. Don't worry, I took care of him and I don't think he'll be calling back anytime soon."_

"_Really? What did you say?"_

"_I told him you were with me now, and to stop messing with you."_

"_Oh…do you think that would work?"_

_He shrugged. I'm a pretty big guy with a deep voice and I can be really intimidating when I want to be. Not many people around here know I'm gay, and most are afraid of me. The guy will stop calling, and if he doesn't, then change the number."_

"_My dad's had that number since before I was born," I argued._

"_So what? He'd definitely be willing to change if her knew what was going on. Just tell him."_

"_He's too busy…"_

"_Shush your mouth with that crap. You're his only kid, I'm sure he's not too busy for you."_

_I nodded._

_We went out that day, and actually began hanging out pretty often. I felt better when I was with Jake, there was no pressure or sexual tension, and he let me have meltdowns whenever I needed to….but when I was alone, I continued to obsess over what happened to Edward._

_Was he ok? Did he find someone else? Did he ever think about me?_

_But along with my inability to move on, the phone calls continued despite Jacob's threats, so eventually I caved and told my father._

"_Bells, I think it's time to transfer to a different college. Just get away for a while, meet new people, find some new interests."_

"_Dad, I don't want to leave," I protested._

"_You don't want to, or you're afraid to?"_

"_I can't leave you alone."_

"_Bella, I'm fine. You can't just stay here forever….and this isn't really about me, now is it?"_

"_What do you mean?"_

"_Honey….he's not coming back," he said gently, and I knew exactly what he was talking about, though I wasn't exactly sure how our conversation shifted in that direction. I thought we were talking about obscene phone calls, not a boy who left and never cared to look back._

"_I know," I said quickly._

"_Do you? I spoke to his dad last week, and he hasn't even heard from him."_

"_Well, maybe something's wrong. Maybe something happened to him," I said worriedly._

_Charlie shook his head. "It's hard to tell you this, but his dad called his school in New York, just to make sure he was still there and ok. The administrator said he hasn't missed a class and even took on more than the required units….Honey, he's fine…he just doesn't want to be in contact with anyone here anymore."_

_I nodded, trying to accept what he was saying, but the tears just poured out uncontrollably. I didn't understand it, why would he do that to me? How could he just forget about me like I meant nothing? I always thought we were different, that our love was real and nothing would ever come between us. It was something I had grown to almost take for granted; no matter what happened in the future, Edward and I would always be together. How could I have been so wrong?_

_Then I began questioning everything. Perhaps he never loved me the way I loved him. Maybe he never planned on coming back at all…or maybe he just got out into the real world and discovered there was so much more to life than small town Forks, with small town me. _

_Charlie changed our home phone number and the calls stopped, but after a few more weeks of me moping around, he had enough._

"_Alright, I'm kicking you out," he said unexpectedly._

"_What do you mean?" I asked confused._

"_Going out with Jacob isn't even making you feel better any more. This just isn't normal, Bella. People break up, it's just a part of life, but you can't keep going on like this."_

"_So, you're kicking me out?" _

"_You've given me no choice. I've filled out all your transfer paperwork for you and set up your dorm room, all you have to do is sign then meet with the counselors when you get there."_

"_Dad…"_

"_Don't 'dad' me, you're going, or you'll be homeless….Look, I get it, it took me a long time to get over losing your mom, but you have to understand that ending a marriage and ending a childhood romance are two entirely different things. I love you and want you to be happy more than anyone, but it's time to get over it now. Edward's not coming back, and you're done waiting for him. No more arguing, go pack your things."_

_Was I really just another stupid teenager who foolishly believed in everlasting love? –I supposed Charlie was right, I was an absolute idiot and it was time to grow up._

_So I went. I spent the next three and a half years completely dedicated to school. I found time to go out and have what people liked to call 'fun', but it all felt empty in a way. When I graduated, I began working at a small newspaper, but nothing I wrote seemed to matter because no one really read it. _

_And then my dad died, and everything stopped._

_I had pulled away from all my old friends, and I rarely even spoke to Jacob anymore. My father was my last remaining tie to any sense of home and any real feelings at all._

_When I went to Forks for the funeral however, I immediately sunk back into my old tribulations. It didn't matter that it had been four years since I saw him last, I found myself looking around town in the hopes that Edward would be there. I didn't know why, but deep down I really believed that he would be, and I realized then that I never truly stopped waiting for him. Somehow, someway, he'd know I needed him then more than ever, and he'd be there….he had to be…except he wasn't. There was still no trace of him._

_Once again, I felt lost. After the funeral I drove around for hours, and curiously ended up at The Lot. I didn't know at the time, but what I was really searching for was an escape. Something to dull the pain of my loss._

"_Hey, hey, has Miss Swan come to me at last?" James' slithering voice sounded through my car. _

_I parked, and then got out. "If you say another word about it, I'll kick you so hard in the balls that you'll forget what your last name is. Understand?" I said emotionlessly._

"_Whatever baby," he said before offering me a hit of whatever he was smoking. _

_I was an adult, a college graduate, and the daughter of a cop, I knew better than to mess around with drugs, but I needed help to make the pain go away, so for the first time in my life, I got higher than then Empire State Building. _

_For the next few weeks, that became my new reality. Every day I would go to The Lot and get high and drunk with all the other loser nobodies; sometimes I wouldn't go home at all. I quickly ran out of money, but I was desperate to keep getting high, so James propositioned me. _

"_I don't give my shit away for free….unless you want to fuck, that is."_

"_You were behind all those horrible calls before I went away to college, weren't you?" I asked him._

_He smiled evilly. "You know you liked them."_

"_And the texts that claimed to be from Edward?"_

_He continued to smile, unfazed. _

_Fucking bastard. _

_I hated the son of a bitch…but the truth was that I just didn't give a shit anymore, as long as I got more drugs. Perhaps it wasn't completely about the drugs though; perhaps a part of me really wished that one day Edward would find out that I had fucked the guy he hated more than anyone. I didn't really care what happened to me, but if it could potentially piss off Edward then perhaps it was better than drugs. _

_I soon found myself as a central member of James' little posse, he even called me his girlfriend to newcomers, which I always lazily denied. I was nobody's girlfriend, because I was nobody myself. Bella Swan didn't exist anymore, and at some point, I stopped answering my name, so people just called me 'Swan'._

_I was on the fast track to nowhere, but then a chance encounter changed everything. _

"_Bella?" Someone stopped me when I was at a store buying beer with James' money._

_It was early in the morning, but I already had a buzz going for the day, so I was definitely not in the mood for some old man to talk to me._

"_Bella, what's wrong with you?" the guy asked. _

_I narrowed my eyes to try to see through my intoxicated haze, and then I figured out who he was."Oh, hey Mr. Masen," I mumbled, probably incoherently. _

_I couldn't see him clearly, but it looked like he was upset by the sight of me. Well, fuck him._

"_Bella, why don't you come stay with me for a few days? You know, I have a job opening at the winery that I'm sure you'd be great at."_

_I laughed. In fact, I laughed so hard that I fell over. Mr. Masen helped me up, but I yanked my arm out of his grasp. "Thanks, but no thanks," I said coldly. I always liked Mr. Masen, but at that moment, I wanted nothing to do with him, or anyone else who couldn't provide the drugs I had quickly become reliant on._

"_Bella, I'm so sorry this has happened to you. First Edward left, and then your dad…No one deserves that kind of heartache, but trust me, nothing is worth you throwing your life away for. Your dad wouldn't want this for you, sweetheart. Please, let me help you."_

"_Don't touch me!" I spat. "It's none of your fucking business."_

_I grabbed my beers, and then stumbled my way out of the store. I was pissed at the old man, in fact, I was beyond pissed, though I really wasn't sure why. All I knew was that I wanted some kind of revenge._

_I told James and his crew that I overheard the cops saying they were going to bust The Lot, so I suggested we go someplace new that night. _

"_That vineyard is always do desolate. No cops would ever see us out there," I told them. They were all brainless idiots, so of course they thought it was a good idea._

_So after trekking out to the farthest point in the Masen Vineyard, we began to light up. _

_I had no further plans other than to leave some trash out there amongst the vines, but a couple of the retards in their further idiotic state, thought it would be funny to light some leaves on fire._

_It had been a strangely dry season that year; the weatherman blamed the lack of rain on 'El Nino', which I always thought was a little funny. But because of the lack of moisture in the air, that one burning leaf caught and spread, and the next thing I knew, the fire was uncontrollable. _

_I never meant for that to happen, but it didn't matter, it was still my fault. No one would have gone out there at all if I hadn't told them to. I didn't set the fire myself, but I might as well have so what difference did it make. I wanted revenge of some sort, for what, I still didn't know, but what I got was just more self-loathing. _

"_Swan, come on, let's get out of here!" James yelled for me, and we all went running for our lives as the flames spread. I could hear the sound of fire engines wailing as I went, which only added to the noise of my screaming conscience torturing me with self-directed insults. _

_When we finally emerged from the vines, I saw Mr. Masen standing there watching our escape, and I knew I couldn't continue. My path of self destruction had bled onto a man that had never been anything but kind to me, and I was absolutely disgusted with myself. He did nothing to deserve my 'revenge', and I realized just what a horrible person I had truly become. _

"_I'm not leaving," I said evenly when James tried to pull me away._

"_We're going to get arrested," he hissed._

"_I don't care," I said honestly. _

"_Fine, to hell with you," he said carelessly, and then ran off. _

_I just stared at Mr. Masen as he stared impassively back, and then finally he turned and watched the firemen trampling through his undisturbed vines to get to the ones burning. _

_I couldn't remember a moment when I felt worse than I did right then, so not knowing what else to do, I just sat down on the dirt, and waited for the police to come arrest me. I deserved to be in jail after what I did, in fact, I really hoped I got into a prison fight and was beaten to death. _

_But the police never came._

_After a few days of waiting alone in my father's house, I decided to go see why I wasn't being arrested. I went to the police station, and because my dad used to work there, people were very forthcoming with the information I needed. The fire had been blamed on nature due to the dry conditions._

_I didn't understand it, and I felt like absolute shit, so I decided to go talk to Mr. Masen. But when he came to the door, he didn't look upset to see me, in fact, he almost looked relieved._

"_Words cannot express how sorry I am for what happened, but I know that doesn't change anything," I told him._

"_What's done is done; all that matters is that no one is hurt and you're finally going to get back into your life where you belong."_

"_Aren't you going to press charges?" I asked confused._

"_Yes…I will if you stay here and keep hanging out with those losers. Don't waste your life the way I have, Bella. Go find something to make of yourself."_

_I shook my head. "This is all that I am," I said emotionlessly._

"_That's bullshit!" he snapped. "You are so much more than what this town has to offer, and I am so sorry that my moron son couldn't appreciate what he had in you. He made the wrong decision in leaving, and someday, he'll realize that."_

_I shook my head. "It doesn't matter anymore. None of this is about him, I'm just…"_

"_Lost, I know. So go find what you're looking for," he encouraged. "If you don't do it for yourself, then at least do it for me. Make all this mess up to me by making something of yourself. "_

"_Why are you trying to help me?" I asked incredulously._

"_You're a good person, but I think you've forgotten that….Someday I may need your help, and I know without a doubt that you'll give it. Now go, I don't want to see you around here again unless you're in a better place personally."_

_I nodded. "I really am sorry," I said sincerely._

"_I know," he replied. "Just promise me you'll make something of yourself. That's all I want, and then we'll call it even."_

"_I promise."_

_That promise actually meant more to me than any other I had ever made before, and I refused to fail. I signed up for a head-hunter to help in the search for a new job, and they applied absolutely everywhere for me. I went into interview after interview, but for a reason I didn't understand myself, I found myself working at a small magazine company in Seattle. I knew nothing of fashion and current trends, but it was the best paying offer with the most room for growth._

_I threw myself into work, but the job was simple; I was basically the assistant to the Editor in Chief, and did whatever I was told. But from time to time, I had to fix whatever problems the editor created, and my good work didn't go unnoticed. After only being there for a little over a month, I was presented with a new opportunity._

"_Miss Swan, there is an opening at Poise Magazine in New York," my editor told me one day. "It's nothing more than what you're doing now, but there is so much more potential there for you, so I've put your name in the mix of candidates." _

"_Seriously?" I asked shocked. I never considered actually moving to New York, especially alone, but with nothing really holding me to Washington anymore, I thought, 'what the hell'._

_I flew there for the interview the following week, and was overwhelmed with the city, but at the same time, it felt right, like I was on the path to where I was supposed to be._

_In the depths of my mind, a thought of being in the same city as Edward again crept in, and was something more than desirable. Perhaps we could cross paths and have a conversation. Perhaps there was a chance, perhaps… - I tried to kill the thought, but it refused to die, so instead I buried it. I couldn't think about Edward, not then, not after everything that had happened since we were together, and not ever again. He was my past, and I needed to look towards the future. He'd probably hate me if he ever found out what I did to the vineyard anyway._

_The interview went amazingly and I was offered the job on the spot, so before I could freak myself out, I accepted._

_I flew back to Washington to pack my things, but that's when it happened…. I was hit hard with a stomach bug, or so I thought, and when I was still vomiting a week later, I went to the doctor._

"_What the hell do you mean?" I asked in shock when the doctor told me what was wrong._

"_Miss Swan, you're pregnant. About twelve weeks, to be exact. It would be a wise decision to start prenatal care immediately." _

_I felt sick, and it had nothing to do the physical changes happening inside of me. I had done my best to put my druggie loser phase behind me, in fact, since I was clean and sober the thought of James on me and inside of me made me absolutely disgusted with myself. I hated what I did so much that I'd sometimes wished I would have OD'd rather than live with the fact that I had actually let that repulsive man screw me….but now, it would never go away. No matter where I went, I'd never be able to outrun what I did, and I'd take James everywhere I went._

_I couldn't do it. I couldn't stand the thought of him still being inside of me. I wasn't pregnant with a cute little baby that was half mine, no, I was carrying the seed of Satan….at least those were the feelings I was having._

"_Miss Swan, calm down," the doctor said as I began having a complete nervous breakdown. _

"_I can't do this, I need it out," I told her._

_The doctor sighed. "Abortions are legal in most states until the fourteenth week. You do have a couple weeks to think about it, but…"_

"_I don't need to think about it, I want it out!" I shouted._

"_Miss Swan, try to calm down. We do not perform abortions here, but I can give you a pamphlet…"_

"_Then just give it to me so I can go."_

…

_I couldn't get the abortion fast enough, and when it was over, I expected to just go back to normal, but I just felt…hollow. I didn't know it then, but I didn't just kill what was inside of me, I also killed myself. I turned off all of my emotions, and just walked around life as nothing more than a cold echo of who I used to be. The only thing I had left was a promise, a promise that I refused to fail at._

_The job in New York was even easier than the one in Seattle had been. The work itself got harder, but life was easier because I just didn't care anymore. I was a machine, focused on the task at hand and nothing more. I quickly moved up in the company, just as I knew I would, and I found myself in the center of the fashion world. People knew me, and before I knew it, I was running the company. It was in no way my dream job, but it was fulfilling a promise to find success, and that was what really mattered. _

_I'd date occasionally, but really it was just for show. Women who never went out were assumed to be lesbians, and in my industry that definitely wasn't a good thing. Schmoozing the 'talent' was just part of it, and my career was the only thing that I cared about. _

_Most of the time I dated male models or had casual hookups, and every time I met someone new, I had an overwhelming fear of becoming pregnant again. I was on birth control, but I always insisted on the guy wearing a condom as well, and it had nothing to do of a fear from STDs. I rarely dated any one guy for more than a couple weeks, but then I met Riley. He was a photographer who I worked with from time to time, and he was the sweetest person I had met since Jacob, except, he was straight._

_I found myself in a strange relationship with him, and no matter how much I detested touchy feely situations, that was exactly how he was. I didn't even know how I ended up with a 'boyfriend' like that, but every time I tried to break it off with him, he'd do some kind of big 'romantic' gesture, or people would tell me how great he was. He was everything any woman would want, and yet, my emotions for him fell flat and I wondered if it was because I was dead inside, or perhaps I just knew I didn't deserve him. _

_The next thing I knew, five years had passed and I was living my life while trying to do whatever possible to avoid my 'significant other'. I was horrible to him, but he was so supportive and understanding that he always forgave me, even when I didn't ask him for it. _

_It was during my relationship with Riley that I began another strange relationship of sorts….I started writing Mr. Masen. I wasn't sure why I wrote him at first, but it probably started after one of Riley's cheesy sappy gestures and I was feeling more than I usually allowed. After writing back and forth with Mr. Masen a few times, I learned of his son Alec and their financial hardships. He never asked for the money, but he didn't have to. I knew he needed it, and after what I had done to him, it was the very least I could do. _

_Life with Riley was more than a little uncomfortable for me, but after his third proposal, I knew enough was enough and I finally broke it off. Riley wasn't the right kind of guy for me, and if I was less of a coward, I would have set him free years before._

_A few months after my relationship ended, I met Caius. Now, Caius, was exactly right for me, and I knew I was where I belonged. We were a great show couple, and behind closed doors, neither of us cared what the other did. We were both cold personally and career driven, so there were no false hopes of grandeur between us. _

_But then he decided to change things…_

"_Isabella, you know better than anyone that I like the way things are between us; we're a great couple, everyone thinks so," Caius said casually to me one evening during dinner._

"_And?" I prompted him impatiently. I had a deadline at work, and I was irritated that he had even insisted that we went out in the first place._

"_The thing is, in the world of business there comes a time when a man needs to show stability…"_

"_Oh god, tell me you're not going to…"_

"_Just listen," he said annoyed. "I need to get married, but I like our current…arrangement. All that would change will be our legal status. Nothing else will be different. When we're apart we can still see who we want and do whatever we feel like. Actually what we have is the modern thing to do; I suspect more people will be having an open relationship like ours in the future, so there's no reason not to marry. We're the norm now. Think about it, a marriage could be good for your career as well."_

"_Fine, I'll think about it," I said sourly. I didn't want to get married, I had left a perfectly decent man for that very reason…more or less. But maybe Caius was right, a marriage could actually be good, as long as it didn't change anything. I had come to rely on consistency and control as a means to suppress as much emotions as possible, so as long as the marriage didn't affect my daily 'normalcy', I supposed it wouldn't be so bad. _

_But then a blast from the past sent my life spiraling out of control…_

* * *

><p><em><strong>***Part 2 is ready and waiting, so REVIEW and I'll post it!<strong>_


	27. Pt 2

_**Spinning Bottles**_

_A/N: I have to say, this chapter got much darker than I ever intended for this story to go, and I almost decided to quit because it seemed to get out of hand. When I started writing this it was a somewhat fun story with some dramatic issues, but like with all my stories, it took on a life of its own. I apologize to anyone who began reading this in the hopes it was something light, because I definitely would have put a warning in the beginning if I knew it would go this way. After this chapter was complete, I tried going back and watering it down, but I just couldn't figure out how. Anyway, again, I'm sorry and I understand completely if you don't want to continue, but I have to go with it and tell the story in the way it's flowing out of my brain. I hope you understand.  
>*FYI - This will be the peak of the angst, everything will get better after this chapter.<em>

_**Warning! – **__Bella has more thoughts about her abortion, and uses words like 'kill'. If this is offensive to you then I apologize ahead of time. The mention is brief, but still there. Bella is a fictional character so her words, thoughts, and actions do not reflect my personal beliefs. Nothing was meant to offend, so please don't take it as such._

_*I have friends who've had abortions, and I have friends who morally oppose it. I'm not here to take sides, I'm just telling a fictional story. _

_*This chapter also explains Bella's thoughts of suicide. If you are sensitive on this topic or have had similar thoughts then you may want to skip it. _

_Again, PM me if you wish to avoid reading one of the topics so I can fill you in and/or send you an edited version with the parts removed._

_Thank you._

* * *

><p><em>~Chapter 27 – Spiraling- Part 2~<em>

_A blast from the past sent my life spiraling out of control…._

_It started off simple. A move to Italy had been in the works for awhile, but because of my need for control, I had been putting it off. Caius spent a great deal of time in Italy for his work as well, so with the career boost, along with the marriage proposal, it was time to slowly make the transition. As I started looking through some of my old boxes however, I came across something odd…_

"_Masen?" I read the label out loud. I thought it was strange, and I didn't remember seeing the box there before, but since I was throwing a lot of things away, I decided to just toss it as well. I set it in my junk pile, but when the guy I hired came to move it all out, for whatever reason, he left that box where it was._

_So I carried it down to the dumpster myself, except then there was another problem._

"_Sorry Ma'am, the trash is full," the building maintenance guy said._

"_How the hell can it be full?" I asked incredulously. _

"_Someone threw a huge party last night and filled it up. I called the garbage company to make an early pickup, but they still won't be here until tomorrow."_

"_Well, can't you just take it for me?"_

"_It's against policy…but sure. Set it down there and I'll handle it," he said._

_I went back up to my condo, but ten minutes later there was a knock on my door._

"_Sorry, Ma'am, but my boss saw me taking this from you and told me I had to bring it back," the maintenance guy said while handing me the 'Masen' box._

"_Are you kidding me?"_

"_Sorry," he said again before turning and leaving. _

_I was pissed. The box was stalking me and refusing to be thrown away, like it was some possessed Ouija board . My assistant Angela was due to come over to help me pack some more, so I planned to just make her get rid of it for me, but curiosity got the better of me and I decided to open it. _

"_What a bunch of junk," I said to myself as I looked through the old crap inside. Each worthless article held a mountain of memories, none of which were welcomed, so before they had a chance to seep in, I needed to close it. I shut the first flap, but before I could close the second, something caught my eye…it was a necklace. _

_As much as I didn't want any memories from that time, I couldn't bring myself to throw it away. It meant something at some time, and if it possibly still could, then it was wrong of me to toss it in the trash with the rest of the junk. _

_Angela arrived, so I told her to track down Edward and send him the necklace. I assumed she threw away the rest, but then I got a strange message on my cell…._

"This is Edward Masen; I'm returning your call. My friend said you had something of mine and needed an address to send it to, so here is my P.O. Box number – 555…"

_The voice was stiff, and if he didn't say his name I would have never recognized him. I thought the whole thing was strange seeing how I never called him, but then I figured Angela must have called for me and whoever took the message got it wrong. _

_A brief feeling of something I didn't recognize, ran through me while thinking about Edward again after so long. There was a time when I would have given anything to hear his voice again, but that time had long passed, and I pushed the feeling away. _

_I forwarded the message to Angela, and told her to take care of it- which I thought she had already done. _

"_The utter incompetence," I said to myself in reference to my assistant. She was a nice enough girl, but in our industry, the 'nice' got swallowed with all the other spineless inferiors. _

_I continued with the lengthy process of moving out of the country, but then a week later, my blast from the past exploded. _

"_Ma'am, there's an Edward Masen here to see you," Angela said, interrupting me while I was working in my office. _

What the hell? – _My heart jumped at the sound of his name, as if there was a sudden electrical shock jolting my still heart to beat, but I refused to feel it. Whatever his reason for showing up there out of the blue was, I certainly didn't want any part of it. _

"_Ok, show him in," I told Angela._

_I was cool and collected. Mr. Edward Masen was nothing more than another business meeting, and once he left my office, nothing in my life would change…at least that's what I told myself._

_But when he walked in, he brought a strange surreal warmth with him that I wasn't expecting. _

_It was too warm….Fuck, it was downright HOT. _

_He looked just as good as he ever did, actually time had even made him better. How was that even possible? But despite his inhumanly good looks, the man was infuriating and going on as if there was nothing wrong with the situation. _

_And then he said something that threw me - _"A week isn't much time, but I'm sure I can get you to fall in love with me again by then."

"_Huh?" was all I could think to say. Surely I had to have heard him wrong…except, I didn't._

…_._

_What pissed me off the most about Edward's relentless pursuit of me, was the fact that deep down I was loving every minute of it. The bastard ditched me, which started a chain reaction of my life completely falling apart, and there he was with a sledgehammer, banging as hard as he could at the brick wall I had surrounded myself with for so long. _

_I hated him. I hated him even more than that prick James, and there was nothing I wanted more than for him to crawl back into whatever hole he crawled out of. But he just wouldn't leave me alone._

_And then the jerk showed up at my going away party. It was ridiculous how jealous I was feeling over some short spiky-haired pixie girl, just for knowing that she had been in Edward's bed recently. He was nothing to me, and I had been with other people, hell, I was practically engaged to someone else, so why did I care? _

_Well, I didn't care, in fact, I didn't care so much that I needed a few drinks just to prove it. _

_Everything else that evening was a blur. When I woke up the next day, I vaguely remembered dancing with Edward, but finding myself in his condo was definitely not something I was expecting…_

…

_I could do it, I could keep my emotions locked away, and still have the best sex I had since I was a teenager. Edward was physically perfect, and there was no one who turned me on the way he did, so why shouldn't I take advantage of that? _

_Usually sex was almost a chore for me, and I never came without some kind of finger involvement, but Edward was different. He knew exactly how to take control of my body, and he was merciless. I didn't even care that he came too early that time, hell, I was about two seconds from coming myself. But when it was over, emotions aside, I was definitely going to miss the way he felt inside of me. _

_But as the week continued, I had a harder and harder time reigning in my emotions. Every now and then, he'd catch me by surprise by worming his way in through the holes in my insufficient walls during vulnerable moments, and I had to keep reminding myself that I actually hated him. Everything bad in my life started with him leaving, and I'd be damned if I let him in again…at least not more than physically, that is. _

_After flights resumed to Milan, I knew it was time to leave. Every day I stayed with Edward I could feel my walls becoming thinner and thinner, and I was scared to hell of what that meant. _

_I refused to break…not again._

_So I rememorized his perfect face, even though I knew it would just be that much more painful afterwards, and when he fell asleep that night, I left. I was a coward, and I knew that, but that was who I was when it came to him, and I accepted it. _

_I tried to forget him, but just a few days later I got the news that Mr. Masen Senior had passed, and I needed to return for the will reading. I wasn't sure what he possibly could have left me, but even if I wouldn't admit it, the truth was that I was really going back because I wanted to see Edward again. It took me years to bury my obsession for him, and only a few days to dig it back up…..And it fucking pissed me off. _

_But when I saw Edward at the reading, things were different. He was done playing his ridiculous game of infatuation like he had been in New York; he actually seemed angry…which I understood better than anyone. I left him without a proper goodbye, and then his dad died - I knew exactly how that felt because he had done the same thing to me, except I was much younger and completely blindsided at the time. I didn't plan it out that way, I was past seeking revenge, but I'd be lying if I said that there wasn't a small part of me that thought it was Karma. _

_Despite his resentment towards me however, I really thought he'd still want to get together while I was there for some casual sex like before. I was almost desperate for the release that only he offered, it was a dull ache that sharpened every day I went without it, but he turned me down and I was a mess with conflicting desires. I had walked away, except I couldn't stay gone; he made me sick, but I craved his touch. I hated him, but deep down…._

_The fact that he wasn't even willing to see me at all anymore, was like a swift kick in the gut; why the hell couldn't he figure out that he didn't want casual sex before we started doing it? But I supposed I knew from the beginning that it wasn't casual; not for him, and not for me, even if I pretended otherwise. _

_Even after Edward basically shut me down, I still wasn't ready to go back to Milan. I hated Forks, and I definitely didn't want to run into any of the loser slackers who I had once hung out with, but I kept making excuses as to why I couldn't leave just yet. _

_I spent some time with Jacob in La Push, not because I really wanted to, but because he was the only one left in the area who could really stand me. I visited all of my dad's old friends and claimed that was the reason why I was still around, but when I saw Alec pulled over on the side of the road that night, my first thought was that Edward had to be close, so I stopped._

"_You can't call him, he'll be pissed," Alec said to me when I told him we had to call Edward. Even if I didn't want to see him again, he still deserved to know that his brother was ok._

"_I know it seems hard right now, but the more time you spend together, the easier it'll get," I tried convincing him._

"_But why should I have to? He never cared about me before, so now that dad died I'm just supposed to be grateful that he came back for me?" Alec said sourly._

"_Alec, I don't think he knew about you before," I said carefully. I didn't know why, but I felt an odd connection to the kid, and I certainly didn't want him to lose his way like I had._

"_It doesn't matter. He didn't care enough about dad to come back before he died, so what difference does it make?"_

_I bit my lower lip. I wasn't sure what to tell him, and I hated the feeling of not having the answers. _

_Fucking Masens. Between Edward thrusting himself back into my life and forcing me to feel things I didn't want to, and Alec making me wish I could do something more to help, I knew I was in serious danger of losing myself again. I wasn't that girl anymore, I didn't care about people's issues and I definitely didn't get weak in the knees over romantic gestures and crooked smiles. I was better than that…my life was controlled, but when I was with them, I was left dizzy and befuddled. I didn't like the feeling._

"_Look, family is one of the most important assets someone can have…and right now, Edward is all you have left. Don't give up before you've even made an effort; give your new family a chance and I'm sure you won't be sorry." - Even as the words came out of my mouth, I was wondering who the hell was saying them. It wasn't me, I didn't say shit like that…except, there I was, with my hand on the kid's shoulder and trying to comfort him. _

_Alec finally agreed to let me call Edward for him, so I did, but I was worried by his clipped tone over the phone. Edward was pissed. Surprisingly when he got there however, he was calm and even pleasant. _

_The three of us sat for awhile and talked, and it felt strangely familiar, though completely new at the same time. It was like an echo or a déjà vu of something that I couldn't quite remember, but it was a good feeling. Then it got late, and I found myself wishing we had more time. _

_And then they were gone, and I was alone…which was exactly the way I wanted it. _

_With no more excuses to stay, I finally flew back to Italy and spent the next couple of weeks trying to get acclimated to my new home. I was exactly where I wanted to be, and yet, every day, I found myself wondering what Edward was doing and if everything was ok between him and Alec. But the worst part was that I would end up thinking about them at the most inopportune moment._

"_Miss Swan, Karl Lagerfeld has been on hold for over five minutes," my assistant said to me one day. I had been in a daze while thinking about something Edward had said, and I neglected my phone calls._

"_Oh, shit," I said while trying to answer the phone, but the line was dead._

"_He didn't have time to wait any longer," my assistant explained. "By the way, Mr. Caius called to remind you of your date tonight," she informed me._

_Fuck._

_Since returning from Forks, I had been having a harder and harder time tolerating my 'modern' relationship with my fiancé. I never really liked, much less loved him, but my irritation was reaching an all time high._

"_Hello, Earth to Bella," Caius said at dinner that night. I had zoned out for the umpteenth time, and I guess he was fed up."What the hell is wrong with you, people are starting to stare."_

"_Nothing…sorry," I said._

"_Christ," he said annoyed. "You know, when I'm stressed out at work, I just need a good fuck and it puts me right back in the game. How long has it been for you anyway?"_

"_Huh?" I asked confused. I wasn't paying attention to what he was saying, but I semi heard the last part. _

"_When was the last time you got laid? I mean we haven't been together in what; a few months or something? Surely you've been with others since," he asked casually._

"_Uh…yeah, of course," I replied, although the word 'others' was wrong, because I had only been with one guy in the past few months…One guy who I wished I could stop thinking about. _

_But then it happened….I jumped up and darted to the bathroom, and barely made it before I vomited. _

_My first thought was that my stomach was just getting use to the new foods of the area, but as it continued for the next few days, a much darker thought occurred to me._

_I ran to my medicine cabinet to check my birth control pills, and when I opened the pack I was horrified. I was off on the days. I must have missed a few and continued on as if I hadn't._

_With all the craziness the move had been, and Edward invading my life before that, I was out of my comfort zone, and completely out of my mind. How could I have been so reckless? I had spent the past eight years being overly cautious when it came to birth control, and all it took was a few days with Edward and I messed up completely. But that was what Edward did, he fucked my life up, and it was happening again._

_Despite my mishap with the birth control, I was still in denial. People forgot to take their pill all the time and were fine…So I forgot a couple days, no big deal, right? Even when people didn't use any protection, it was still only a twenty percent chance of getting pregnant, so…_

_I decided to get a test just to be sure, but from the moment I bought it, I was in a daze. On top of everything else, the damn instructions were only in Italian, so that just added to my anxiety. _

_When I finally figured out how the test worked, I took it and then waited. _

"_No big deal. It's going to be negative and everything will be fine," I told myself during the 'tre minuti' it took to process. _

_But when the second little blue line appeared in the tiny window, I nearly fainted. _

_I was in shock. It couldn't be true. Surely I was stuck in some nightmare that I would wake from and go back to living my mundane life. _

_My entire body went numb as terrible memories of my abortion flooded my mind. I tried to shut them out, I squeezed my eyes shut so tightly that I was sure I would wake in a different dimension…One where I didn't make stupid decisions and end up in unbearable scenarios. But when I opened them again, I was still in the exact same place - on my bed, holding a small white plastic stick with two little blue lines._

_I couldn't be a mother. Mothers were sweet and loving, and…drove minivans. Come to think of it, I had no idea what mothers did, because I never really had one myself. All I knew of parenting was my father's somewhat vacant attempts, and what I saw on reality TV shows. It was terrifying. _

_I supposed things were different this time though. I was older, I had more money and could afford a child, but most importantly, the father was a man that I once loved and possibly still did. _

_I used to dream about having Edward's baby. Long before my harsh thrust into unplanned pregnancies, I used to imagine what my future would hold after Edward and I got married. It wasn't a question back then, it was the only way I could see my life going. We'd finish school, get married, and have two point five mini Edwards. We were happy in that future, but it was a future that disappeared just as Edward did. _

_Was it still something I could want again? Could I do what Edward had said and let us be a family?_

_Very abruptly, Alec's face came to mind. Of course he would be part of that family, but that wasn't the reason why I was thinking about him at that moment. Alec was a kid who came from a shitty mother; a woman who spent her life getting wasted just as I had, and just as James still did. When I was pregnant the first time, I couldn't stand the thought of James' baby being inside of me because I thought no good could come from a couple fuckups like us -well, especially him. But if such an amazing kid like Alec could come from a mother like his, then it was possible that the baby I killed could have been something just as amazing._

_I never hated myself more than I did in that moment. If there were bottoms to black holes, then I definitely hit mine. What the hell kind of person was I? Even if I decided I wanted to keep the baby I was currently carrying, how could I live with myself after everything I had done? Edward would hate me if he knew, and I would be alone, raising a baby that would just grow up to hate me as well._

_I couldn't be a mother, but I couldn't have an abortion either._

_I was so lost._

_Suddenly I felt like a child again, and faced with something I didn't know how to handle. As much as I loved my father, he wasn't exactly someone I could go to with my problems so I had always handled them myself…always that is, until I met Edward. When I was with him, I had to learn how to confide in someone and let him help. Jacob had become a good friend, but he wasn't who I needed to talk to, I needed Edward. If anyone could protect me from the hell that my mind was falling into, surely it was him. _

_I didn't give myself time to chicken out, I immediately bought a plane ticket and went back to Washington. 'One more day', that was what I used to pray for after he disappeared from my life; 'just give me one more day with Edward to tell him everything I needed to say'. – I hid from the truth when we were together in New York, but there was no place left to hide and I was finally ready for my 'one day'. _

_But when I pulled my rental car into town and stopped for gas, my 'one day' floated away into oblivion…._

"_Well, well, well, if it isn't my Swan bird flying home at last."_

_I had just run inside the gas station minimart to pay, when I heard his slithering voice. I looked up from my purse where I had been digging for my credit card, and saw him, looking more disgusting than ever._

"_James," I said as sourly as I was capable of in that moment. The truth was that I was absolutely terrified. I wasn't afraid of James physically, but I knew he was capable of sending me straight over the edge mentally, especially with how off my emotions were due to the pregnancy. _

_He moved out from behind the counter, and took two steps closer to me._

"_Stay the hell away from me!" I warned. _

"_Ah baby, I just wanted to say hi." He closed the distance between us, and before I could think to move, he grabbed a handful of my hair, and brought it up to his face, then inhaled deeply. "God, I've missed your smell."_

_He was too close, and I just reacted by kneeing him hard in the balls._

"_Fuck!" he groaned. "What the hell did you do that for? You fucking bitch!"_

_I couldn't stay there, I needed to escape, so I grabbed my purse and ran outside, but before I could reach my car, James caught up to me._

"_What the hell are you doing in town if you didn't come for me?" he asked condescendingly. "Cause I know you didn't come back just because Edward's here again." His words made me freeze in place, though I had no idea why. My conscience was telling me to get in my car and leave, but my body didn't cooperate. "Don't actually tell me that you think he still loves you after all this time," he continued._

"_I..I.." I had no idea why I was going to say anything to him. I just needed to leave. _

"_Come on Swan, I thought you were smarter than that. He's here for his brother, and once everything is squared away with him, you'll be nothing more than dust in the rear view mirror."_

_Somewhere inside my mind I knew the idiot was wrong, but I just needed to hear him say it. I hated myself enough that as punishment, I needed to torture myself by standing there and listening to his shit. _

"_Just wait until he finds out about us…in fact, I think I'll go tell him. His reaction will be hilarious."_

"_No!" I shouted. "You can't tell him about that."_

"_And why not?"_

"_Because I'm asking you not to. James, if you ever cared about me at all, please, just leave us alone."_

_He started laughing. I already knew he didn't care, but I thought I'd try. "Man Swan, you are a riot. But I have to tell you, there isn't much in this world that I would enjoy more than watching Edward's ugly mug distort when he learns how much I fucked you. It'll be priceless."_

"_Why do you hate him so much? It's been twelve years since you saw him last, just let whatever it is go."_

"_That spineless son of a bitch is no better than me. He had the same type of parents, he spent his youth getting wasted at The Lot, and never gave a shit about anyone. Hell, we even both fucked you, so why the hell is he so lucky? Why should he be living a better life than anyone else from this wretched place?"_

_I shook my head. "Everyone gets dealt a different hand…but it's how you play the game, and I suppose Edward is just better at it than you."_

_He laughed again, though this time there was no humor. "Look at you with your life long support of the bastard who couldn't care enough about you to simply pick up the phone and call. You're stupider than I ever thought. He don't give a flying fuck about you, you're just the flavor of the month. When he knows about what you did, not only will he toss you to the side like he did before, but he'll spit on you as well. You actually think you're better now just because you have a high profile job? You are still nothing more than a pathetic fuckup with a manicure, and that's exactly how he'll see you."_

"_You don't know anything about him," I said defensively while my eyes swelled. It was one thing to think those things myself, but it was entirely different hearing someone else say them. James was a heartless prick, but then again he was right. I wasn't better than him, in fact, I was worse. _

"_When he disappears again, and he will, don't even think about crawling back to me. He won't want you, and neither do I. You're not even good enough for me, so what does that tell you?"_

_I felt sick from hearing his words, because I knew they were true. I was nothing, and there was no way Edward would want me after he knew the truth. _

_I couldn't get an abortion, and I couldn't return to my life in Milan, so what was I supposed to do?_

_I hated James for being such a heartless prick; I hated Edward for leaving me in the first place and then forcing his way back in my life all these years later. But most of all, I hated myself. I was disgusted with every inch of me and I didn't know how to escape it. I had nowhere to go, and no one to talk to. I briefly thought about calling Jacob, but I just didn't want to. I didn't want anyone telling me that everything was going to be ok, because I just couldn't see how that could possibly be true._

_I got in my car and began driving aimlessly, and the next thing I knew, I was driving alongside the Quileute River. I would have just kept driving, but because I never got gas, my car slowed and finally came to a stop….But I couldn't stay still, so I got out and started walking. I walked for about half a mile before coming to a bend…Coyote Bend, the highest cliff on the side of the river. People jumped to their deaths there every year, people with more to live for than me…._

_I needed it to end. I couldn't live a moment longer and that was the perfect place for it to happen. _

_But unlike the other times I needed Edward before, this time, he came. _

…_.._

_For a brief amount of time, I let myself forget. Being with Edward and Alec was a sense of home that I never really felt before, but I knew it wouldn't last. The moment he knew the truth, he would hate me and I would be alone again. So I did the only thing I could do, I tried to help them before that could happen. Teaching them to do simple things that they needed like cooking and laundry was all that I could offer them, and when I was sure they could handle it, I planned to go. To where, I still wasn't sure. I had no idea what my next step would be, but I still couldn't fathom being a mother or having another abortion, so I wasn't really left with many options._

_But then Edward wanted answers, and I knew my time was up so I took off running into the vines. I was on autopilot at that point, because I couldn't handle the pain I knew was coming, so I completely went blank. I didn't feel anything, and I didn't even know when I had arrived at the place in the vineyard that I had burned._

_I vaguely became aware of the fact that Edward had followed me, and everything just came pouring out. I didn't plan on telling him at that moment, but I needed to hear him yell, I needed to feel his hatred and disgust, because I was just too tired to continue to carry the burden of that hate all on my own. _

_After I told him everything there was to tell, I stood there and waited while he digested everything. The look on his face was the final nail in my coffin. The anger, the disgust was written over every inch of his perfect features, but I didn't need to brace myself for his fury, because I didn't feel anything. _

…

**~Forks, Washington, Present day – EPOV~**

I felt sick. Everything Bella had said about her life was disgusting and utterly unforgiveable. It wasn't supposed to happen like that, the other world had to be the right one and we were currently stuck in the hell of my bad decisions.

But none of it mattered.

"Why are you smiling?" Bella asked incredulously.

"Am I?" I had no idea. But I supposed that I was because regardless of the past, we had a future and it was already on its way. "We're going to have a baby."

My Carlie was coming!

"How can you just be…happy, after everything that I just said?" Bella's face was drained of all its color, and she looked absolutely horrified. Given her past, I guess I could see why she would be afraid, so it was up to me to convince her otherwise.

"I've already told you how sorry I am for leaving. I know an apology will never be enough, but it's all I have to give. Everything that happened to you….all the pain, it's all my fault and I will have to live with that regret every day for the rest of my life. But Bella, if we spend our futures hating ourselves for the past, then what's the point?"

"Exactly, what's the point?"

"That's not what I meant," I told her quickly. "We can't change the past, but we can still be happy. It's already here, all we have to do is reach out and take it."

"But…aren't you disgusted by the whole drug – James thing. I mean what I did…"

"Bella, I hate James. I have hated him since I was a kid, but only because he's the epitome of everything I hated about myself."

"But…" Bella seemed to be in shock. She obviously couldn't believe that I wasn't mad at her, which only made me feel even worse. James was gag worthy indeed, but nothing more terrible than the things I had done and the people I was with since living in New York. And I certainly didn't understand how she could have been so repulsed by it that she was willing to kill herself.

James, the fire, the abortion, they were all dark moments for her, and I supposed everyone handled things differently, but none of it even came close to changing the way I felt about her.

"Bella, despite everything that's happened, there is one thing that I'm certain of…The best part of me….has always been _you_."

"How…How can you say that? I'm nothing, and you, you're _you,_ and I hated you for so long but only on the surface because you've always been so…perfect. You were right in leaving, I would have only brought you down…" She was becoming hysterical, but being hysterical was better than being dead, so whatever it took for her to show some kind of emotion was worth it.

Tears streamed down her face…and then they streamed down mine as I reached for her, and held her in the security of my arms right where she always belonged.

It was dark outside then, but even though my eyes had adjusted to be able to see just enough, I felt like we were miles away from anything real as we stood there amongst the ominous dead vines. So I scooped her up, and carried her through the blackness all the way to the light beaconing from the cottage. It was our place of refuge, our home, and exactly where we needed to be.

I brought her inside to our bedroom, and I was slightly grateful Alec hadn't returned yet.

I really thought she had fallen asleep from the way she was slumped in my arms, but when I went to set her on the bed, she clung to me like her life depended on it.

So I sat down first, and then laid back so she was lying across my chest.

"I need to tell you something," I whispered to her no louder than a coo. "It's something you're going to have a hard time believing, but I swear to you, it's the god's honest truth and I think you need to hear it." I took a deep breath, then raised my voice just loud enough so she could hear without straining. "When you sent that box to my condo, there was a bottle of my father's wine inside, and I drank it. When it was gone, I spun the bottle and I ended up in a place I didn't recognize, a place I hated at first, but soon realized it was my salvation…."

* * *

><p><strong>***Still some loose ends to tie – Coming up next. <strong>

**FYI, yes he does tell her everything, but I didn't feel the need to write it because we already know. You'll just have to wait until the next chapter to see if she believes him ;)**

**Please Review**


	28. Shifted

**Spinning Bottles**

~Chapter 28 – _Shifted_~

Bella listened to my story, and surprisingly didn't laugh. Neither of us was in a laughing mood, but it was so unbelievable that I didn't know if it would be possible for her to take me seriously.

"And, you think all that really happened?" she asked me carefully.

"I know it did," I said confidently. "And that's how I know everything is going to be ok." I placed my hand on Bella's flat stomach, and took a deep breath. "This is Carlie Elizabeth Masen. She was named after your father and my mother, and she's the most beautiful, brightest little girl I have ever known."

Bella was quiet for a moment as she let my words sink in, and then she placed her hand over mine on her abdomen. "I believe you," she whispered. "As you were telling me everything, it was like I could see it, like your words were bringing back some kind of forgotten dream, or something. But…What if you're wrong? What if this baby turns out to be a boy, or has your eyes instead of mine?"

I thought about it, but then shook my head. "It won't. I can close my eyes right now and see her face, and when she's born, it'll be her."

"I believe that you believe that, and I'm not trying to say it didn't happen, but…based on pure anatomy, the child we would have had seven years ago, wouldn't be the same one now. Different egg and different sperm," she said carefully. "How would you feel if we had a completely different child?"

"Ok, first of all, I would love any child of ours…but you're right, scientifically, the timing of this child's conception would make it completely different than one conceived seven years ago…but it doesn't matter, because it's still her. I know it doesn't make sense, but neither does magical spinning bottles that transport people to alternate lives. I don't know how it works, all I know is that I am one hundred percent positive that this is Carlie…and Anthony will come around in the next couple years. Some things are just meant to be; it may take longer to get there, but Carlie and Anthony will exist in this world too."

"I wish I could have really seen it the way you did, maybe this whole thing would be less…daunting," she said as her voice broke at the end. "I'm just really afraid, you know. I don't know anything about kids; I've never even changed a diaper before."

"We'll figure it out together…. And you don't have to worry because you will be an amazing mom, I've seen it."

But then tears ran down her cheeks again. "What if I can't? You saw a completely different version of me, one that was natural with kids and not…screwed up. I'm not her, I wish I were, but I'm not."

"No, you're not….But I'm sure she wasn't in such control when those kids first came either. Not many people know what they're doing before they do it, but they do it anyway because it's what needs to be done. It'll get hard, and I'm sure there will be times when we feel completely lost and overwhelmed, but that's all just part of it."

She was quiet again, but I could feel her body tense in my arms as she seemed to think about something that bothered her.

"What is it?" I asked.

"If you didn't go to that other place, then none of this would be happening now. You would have never wanted me back, so really, you just love her…the other me, I mean. And if I can't ever be her…then I'll never be able to make you happy."

"Bella, I went to that other place, because I needed a wakeup call. I needed something big to happen to get me back to where I always should have been. I got off course in life, and I threw you off at the same time. It was a glimpse of what should have been and it got me to want that in my own life. But as far as loving her more than you, well it's simply not the case. You're _my_ Bella, and I love _you_."

"But I'm a mess, and she was -"

"Not right for me. Bella, I loved her because she was you, not the other way around. You messed up in life, but so have I. You and I fit, we belong together. '_It's the struggles that bind us together'_….the other you told me that, and I never understood it more than I do right now. You can be a ruthless, coldhearted…bitch, and believe it or not, I love that about you. And I _love_ your _drunken Bella_…she was a lot of fun."

She smiled despite herself.

"Baby, I don't want you to change completely, because believe it or not, you are a strong woman. I just want to make you happy…truly and legitimately happy, and everything else will fall in place."

"I'm not strong," she whispered.

"Yes, you are…because regardless of what you've been through, you are going to make it out of this better than ever. You've stumbled, but now you can catch yourself and take off running. It's in you, you just have to put one foot in front of the other, and keep moving forward."

I couldn't believe all the cheesy cliché phrases that were coming out of my mouth, I sounded like a fucking Hallmark card, but Bella's confidence was being dragged behind her, and she needed all the assurance and motivation she could get.

We continued to discuss my otherworldly trip for a while longer, but then her words began to slow before gentle steady breathing took their place. It was dark in the room, but I could see her enough to spend some time just watching her sleep as she laid still in my arms. But even though she was asleep, the muscles in her face never fully relaxed, so very gently, I rubbed the crease between her brows until she finally let them rest.

"God, I wish I knew what you're thinking," I murmured.

A few minutes later, I heard a car pulling up outside, and I knew Alec was home. I glanced at the clock on the nightstand and was shocked that it was one am. I wanted to get up to yell at him for being so late, but a part of me was actually happy about it. When I first arrived he didn't have any friends at all, and staying out late and getting into some innocent trouble was what being a teenager was all about. Plus, Bella was lying on my arm and I didn't want to wake her to move. So I sighed and just decided to talk to him about it in the morning.

But then I heard the sound of his bedroom door shut, and though it wasn't loud, Bella jumped in my arms and then opened her eyes. "What's that?" she asked groggily.

"Alec just got home," I explained quietly. "Everything is fine, just go back to sleep."

"Mmmhum….Just hold me, ok," she mumbled.

I laughed once softly. "I am holding you."

"Don't let go."

"I'll never let go again," I assured her.

I thought she had gone back to sleep, but just as I started feeling myself drift off as well, she started moving around like she was trying to get comfortable. I lessened my hold on her so she could move easier, but she just pulled me into her tighter.

"What are you doing?" I asked amused.

"Nothing," she said quickly, sounding slightly guilty of something, though I had no idea what.

After a few more minutes of us both being still, she began moving around again, except this time her movements seemed heavy with purpose. – Her legs were wrapped around one of mine, as her pelvis slowly but surely began grinding against my hip.

"If you're horny, you could just tell me," I said with a smile.

"You're awake?" she asked horrified.

I laughed again. "If you prefer to take advantage of me while I sleep, I can pretend that I am…But it'll be a lot more fun if you let me participate."

"Oh," she whined. "I just wanted to lay here in your arms, but I'm all…_tense_ and I was just trying to get some relief. It was involuntary," she said sheepishly.

"Well, I'm really good at _'relief'_," I told her, then pushed my hand between my hip and her pelvis, and right to her warmth. She moaned from my touch, but then pushed my hand away.

"I want _you _inside of me," she breathed, and she didn't have to ask me twice. I didn't even realize until then that we hadn't had sex since New York which was weeks before, and suddenly I became even more desperate for a release than she was.

I sat up and leaned over her before my mouth crashed down on hers and began moving with vehemence. We were all lips and tongues and teeth, and as I started undressing her, I realized something had gone on for far too long. "We have got to get you some better clothes," I mumbled as I peeled my ratty old sweat pants off of her legs.

"I like wearing yours," she said, becoming short of breath with anticipation.

I traced my hands back up her now bare legs, and when I reached her underwear, I had to laugh at the fact that, those too, were mine…my old tighty whities.

"They're very comfortable," Bella said with a giggle.

"Please tell me you're not wearing one of my old bras too," I joked.

"You don't have any bras."

"Yes, I do. I went through a chubby phase and I needed the support."

"Yeah right, I think I would have remembered that."

"It was before we were together," I said quickly, really having no idea why the hell I was continuing with the joke when I could be inside her.

"I knew you before we dated," she argued playfully. "You may have forgotten, but we shared our first kiss at thirteen during a fateful game of spin the bottle. And you most certainly weren't fat….A little nerdy, but never fat."

"Nerdy?"

"Don't feel bad about it, most people go through an awkward phase. You grew into your nose and big teeth eventually, so everything is fine."

I sat up with my legs crossed in front of me like a pouting child, scrunched my face, and reached up to rub the bridge of my nose as if she had just punched me there.

She sat up too, and climbed on my lap so that she was straddling me. "Oh, baby, you have a beautiful nose," she cooed while grabbing my hand and pulling it from my nose so she could kiss me there tenderly. "_Now_," she added.

"And the hits just keep coming," I feigned offense. "That's ok though, I can afford a nose job."

"Don't you dare touch your nose. I love your nose," she said before kissing it again. "It's a perfect nose…on the most perfect face I've ever seen."

"Ever? I _suppose_ that's a compliment since you work with models and such," I said, still pretending to be bitter.

"Not even the Abercrombie models are as pretty as you," she assured me.

"Well, that's good, cause I'm unemployed and could really use a job. Are they hiring, can you write me a letter of recommendation?"

"Sorry, no."

"Why?" I asked incredulously. "You just said…"

"I said you were beautiful, but…"

"I also have an amazing body," I added quickly.

She giggled and ran her hand up my chest. "True."

"But…you don't want to share me?" I guessed playfully.

"No, and I won't, but that's not the issue."

"Well, what is it then?"

She leaned in so she could whisper in my ear. "You're too…_old_."

"Old?" I nearly shouted. "Thirty is not old."

She pressed her lips together to hide a smile, and raised both brows. "Models peak at twenty three."

"That's ridiculous. No wonder why so many turn to drugs," I said without thinking. Bella's face dropped, and I knew the time for jokes was over. "Bella, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking."

"It's fine," she said quietly.

"No it's not, I shouldn't have said that."

"Look, despite what I did in the past…I don't need you to be careful and censor yourself with me….All I need…is you," she said intensely.

"And you'll always have me," I told her doubtlessly.

"Edward…I love you so much." Her voice had faded to a whisper, but she could have screamed it and it wouldn't have made a bigger impact. They were words that I had begun thinking I'd never hear from her again, and yet, I always knew she felt them deep down.

"I know," I told her, because at that moment, she seemed almost desperate for me to believe her but didn't think that I would.

And then the tears were back, sliding down her cheeks. "I'm so sorry for everything I did, I was…." She began crying harder, and the rest of what she was saying was unintelligible.

I cradled her face in my hands, and gently caressed her bottom lip with the tips of my thumbs. "Shhh…None of that matters anymore; we're together _now_. I made a bad choice and it screwed up a lot of lives, but I swear to you, I will _never _fail you again."

"You can't blame yourself for everything that happened to me. People get their heart broken every day and don't let it ruin their lives…" she argued.

"But I've seen what would have happened if I stayed….Maybe you could have done things differently, but you would have never been faced with those problems if I stayed."

She pressed her forehead to mine, and I knew she didn't agree, but didn't have it in her to go back and forth on the topic any more. "I love you so much," she murmured. "Just promise me you'll never leave me again."

"Baby, I wish I knew how to prove it to you, but there's nothing in life that I want more, than -"

"Just promise me, and I'll believe you," she interrupted.

"I swear to you, I will never leave you again."

Her lips found mine again, but this time, they weren't going to let jokes get in the way.

I pulled her shirt over her head, and because she wasn't wearing a bra, I had full view of her perfect breasts, and I just had to kiss them.

God, I loved the way she tasted. Nobody had skin like hers, and if I lived a hundred years, I would never find anything that remotely came close.

When our last article of clothing was sprawled carelessly on the floor, I laid her back and moved between her legs. My entire body was buzzing with need, and if something were to happen to make us have to stop, I was sure to implode. I had to be inside her; it wasn't even a desire, it was a basic necessity to sustain life.

My kissing briefly moved to her neck as I brought one hand to her thigh, and lifted it to my hip so I could have better access.

"Edward," she breathed. "Tell me."

I was in the moment so deeply that I was actually vibrating with anticipation, but I couldn't help but smile at her quiet demand. I had never been inside her without reciting the words and I fully planned on saying them, but just hearing her ask again after so long, was just the homecoming that I needed.

"Bella, I love you forever."

And then she lifted her hips, begging me to enter her….and I most definitely wasn't going to keep her waiting.

I pushed into her slowly to savor the feeling, but then stilled, not wanting to blow it too soon again. I just wanted to feel her, _all of her_, from the inside out. We were pressed so close together that there was no space between us, and I was so deep in her, that I filled her completely. She was so amazing, and even without actually moving, I was in nirvana.

But then abruptly and completely unexpectedly, I felt Bella's body stiffen as her inner walls clamped around me in the most intense way.

I couldn't take it; her additional throbbing pressure was about to force me into a place that I wasn't ready to go, so I began thrusting, which only added to her climax. I needed to stay in control, she may have lost it early, but I was not going to fall victim of the minuteman curse, _not again_.

She was everywhere, her body was completely wrapped around mine, and if it was possible to prolong that feeling, to live in that euphoria for the rest of my life, I would have. I kept her legs up over my hips so I could reach that spot inside her that I knew so well and cherished like an old friend, and I continued to pound into her; faster, then slower, then faster again. She dug her nails into the skin on my back, which hurt like hell, but just made me wish she'd do it harder.

But then her body began convulsing for the second time, and I knew I was done for. Every muscle in me tightened as I erupted into her, but I still pumped until that haze of warm numbing afterglow turned my body into mush and I was left helpless inside her.

It was fucking nirvana.

I mustered up whatever energy I could find, pulled out of her slowly, and then collapsed beside her on the bed. We laid there for a few minutes, with the only sound being that of our heavy breaths, panting for air as our bodies recovered from the amazing high.

I was fucking spent, but when the sensation began finally coming back to my limbs, I rolled over so I could lean over her and look into her face. She was utterly relaxed, and looked…serene in her 'just fucked' disheveled state, but she was the most beautiful I had seen her since we were teenagers…in fact, in that moment, she was the most beautiful I had _ever_ seen her. Absolutely perfect.

"I do think this finally makes us even," I told her softly.

She laughed lazily. "Don't even say it."

"What's the word I'm looking for….'minute-wo-man'?"

"Ugh," she whined. "It's your fault."

"What did I do? I was barely inside of you and hadn't even moved yet."

"You left me waiting too long."

"Twelve years too long," I agreed solemnly. I knew that wasn't what she meant, but I couldn't help the wave of guilt that washed over me.

"Hey, I thought we agreed to move past it?"

I stared at her, and then a smile spread across my face uncontrollably. "We did, so let's move past it _again_ right now," I said before kissing her again and shifting myself so I was back on top of her.

She giggled at first, but then must have realized that I was serious, so she quickly caught up to my mood and lifted her hips with insatiable desire.

….

The next morning, everything felt different. The world had changed and shifted to be a better place; even the sun had broken through the usual dreary morning of Forks. Bella was safe and finally allowing herself to feel love again, Alec seemed happy and optimistic, and My Carlie was on her way; life couldn't get much better than that. I would get my family back, and nothing else mattered.

"So, start explaining," I told Alec when the three of us went out to the diner for breakfast.

"What?" he pretended to be clueless.

"Don't give me that shit. Where were you last night for so long?" I asked, trying to sound stern, but failing miserably. Keeping a smile off my face at that moment was next to impossible, especially with the way Bella was sitting so close to me on the bench. It was a big booth, so it was obvious that she was sitting in that way on purpose.

"I just lost track of time."

"Yeah right…Out with it, what were you doing?"

"What? I met this girl, and we were hanging out. No big deal."

"No big deal? Could you possibly have… feelings for this girl? Cause I need to know if moving is going to be a problem."

Bella and I hadn't talked about where we wanted to live yet, but I was fairly certain she didn't want to stay in Forks full time. Alec and I had discussed Seattle, but the last thing I wanted to do was force him to leave behind someone he cared about the way I had. We couldn't continue to be stagnant; it was time to figure out our next move once and for all, and if that meant staying close to town for Alec's personal relationships, then I was sure even Bella would agree.

"Edward, we were just…" he shrugged and raised his brows suggestively. "I'm not in love or anything."

"Please tell me you were using protection," I said in almost a whine. I really couldn't handle a teenage pregnancy on top of everything else.

"Edward!" he said embarrassed, probably because of Bella being there.

"What? Bella knows how that stuff works. Just please, use protection. Do you need me to buy you some?"

"Ugh," he said disturbed. "You're so weird. Dad would never say this shit to me."

"I'm not dad. And I don't want any babies around right now," I told him, but then I thought about Carlie. "At least not _yours_."

"I'm not going to get anyone pregnant," he said annoyed. "We weren't even doing _that_….Wait, what do you mean, _at least not mine_?"

I glanced over at Bella, and she had an amused look on her face. She was finding our entire conversation funny, but was trying to hide it from Alec.

"I guess we should tell you," I said to Alec hesitantly, while still looking at Bella. She nodded, so I turned back to him. "We're going to have a baby."

"Really?" he asked strangely.

I suddenly became nervous about his reaction, and wondered if perhaps it was too soon to tell him. Maybe it would have been easier on him if we had been together awhile longer, made him feel more secure about our family unit before letting him know that a new member was on its way.

"I don't understand," he said with clear confusion written all over his face. "I thought she was your _ex _girlfriend?" he asked me in a stage whisper from across the table. I looked at him incredulously for a moment; she was sitting right next to me, did he honestly think she couldn't hear?

"Yeah, and she's now _not_ an ex," I said slowly, and just as confused as he seemed to be. What was his issue?

"But she's only been hanging with us for a few days, so how do you know she's pregnant...and how could it be yours?" he asked hesitantly. "No offense," he added quickly to Bella.

She laughed. "Well, I just thought I'd come hang with you boys and pass my baby off as Edward's, and hope he wasn't smart enough to figure it out," she joked.

Alec smiled at her, but kept his brows pushed together with his bewilderment.

"We were together in New York," I explained.

Understanding finally reached his eyes. "Oh. Well, I just assumed that when you said she was your 'ex', that it was an older breakup."

"Well, you assumed right. We weren't actually _together_, together in New York." – I said, meaning we weren't really a couple when she got pregnant. Why I told him that, I had no idea. Alec's confusion returned to his face, and Bella's expression mirrored his.

Thankfully, we were interrupted, thus the subject was dropped.

"He guys," A friendly familiar voice sounded from behind me; a voice which was accompanied by a hurricane.

I turned and saw Emmett walking to the table beside ours, with his entire family in tow. "Hey, how's it going?" I asked him with a smile. "Hey Rose." I briefly thought about the fact that if it had been only a few months earlier, I would have been pissed to be seated next to a bunch of rowdy kids, but now I loved every minute of it.

"Holy shit," Emmett said suddenly. We all froze, unsure what his issue was. "Is that Bella?"

"Hey Emmett," Bella said with a friendly but reserved smile.

"Holy crap! How are you?" he asked her excitedly.

"Daddy said shit…and crap!" one of the kids announced.

"Sorry," he said mumbled, but otherwise ignored the comment. "This is great, I really never thought I'd see you back here again…You know, after _before_," he said to Bella cryptically.

"Oh, well, I…" Bella seemed at a loss, and then she became anxious.

"Bella and I are together again," I told him shamelessly while holding her hand on the table. Obviously he knew about her stint with the town's resident losers, in fact, most of Forks must have known with how much people gossiped there, but I wasn't about to let anyone pass judgment on her, at least not in front of me.

And thankfully, Emmett wasn't the judging type of person. "That's awesome. Hey, you guys should come over for dinner tonight. It's supposed to be clear out, so it's a perfect time to barbeque."

Something made me glance at Rose briefly, and she looked…odd. "Are you sure that's ok with Rose?" I asked Em. "You may want to ask her first."

He looked at his wife behind him, and then turned back to me. "Nah, she's just a little…star-struck. Babe, come meet her then," he said with slight irritation.

Rose shook her head and shooed him away embarrassedly.

"Oh, come on. I told you that Bella was an old friend of mine. Get over here and meet her."

I didn't understand the whole 'star-struck' thing, until Rose finally decided to come over.

"I have to tell you, I subscribe to Poise, and I loved your cover," Rose said to Bella in a rush.

Bella smiled politely. "Thank you….You have a beautiful family," she told her, trying to make small talk.

"Thank you," Rose replied, looking legitimately proud of her very loud brood. "I guess we should get back to them." She gave Bella a nervous wave, and then grabbed Emmett's arm, and pulled him back to their table.

"That was so cool. Do you ever sign autographs?" Alec asked Bella quietly.

"Uh, not usually," she told him.

"Hey, maybe you can get me into modeling," he asked unexpectedly. I would have never thought he'd want to do something like that. Sure the black makeup was gone, but he still seemed like he hated most things 'popular'.

"Nah, I already asked her for me," I joked. "And if I can't be a model, then you certainly don't have a chance."

"Screw you," he said quickly with a smile, so I laughed.

"Actually, Alec is the perfect age to start, and he does have nice bone structure," Bella said.

"Oh, see," Alec said smugly. "You're just old."

I glared at him playfully. "Well, good. You can work, and I'll stay home all day and eat Doritos."

"Ooo Doritos," Bella said suddenly. "I haven't had those in forever."

"Love, are you having a craving?" I asked, way more excited than I probably should have been over such a simple thing.

"Is that what's happening?" she asked confused. "I'm not sure, but I feel like if I don't get some, I'm surely going to have a meltdown," she said casually, and I couldn't tell if she was serious or not.

"_Damn_. Hurry Edward, go get her some fucking Doritos," Alec said horrified.

"Ok, we're all finished right?" I asked them. Alec had barely touched his food, Bella had eaten all of hers, and I was about half done.

"Yep, we're ready to go," Alec said in a hurry.

I paid the bill, but as we got up to leave, Emmett stopped me. "Hey, you guys coming over tonight?"

"Oh, uh…" I looked at Bella to see what she thought, but she was already half way out the door, so I glanced back at Alec, and then made a decision. "You know what; we have a lot more space, why don't you guys come over to our place."

"But you hosted last time," he argued.

"Yeah, but I wasn't there for the inspection, so I wanted to run a couple things by you….Thanks, by the way, for handling all that for me."

"No problem, Alec did most of it anyway…Well, ok; we'll come over your place. I'm sure the kids could use a break from our little house anyway."

"Alright, see you then."

"Cool."

When I was done talking to Emmett and said bye to his family, I went outside the diner and laughed to myself from seeing Bella already in the passenger side of the car, and Alec was behind the wheel, ready to drive away the moment I got inside.

"Hurry up man, it's going to get ugly soon!" he called to me. Bella just laughed.

I got into the back seat, and quickly buckled up while Alec sped out of the parking lot, and onto the street. There was a liquor store a quarter mile down the road, and when he pulled up there, he sprinted out of the car and into the store.

"Wow," Bella said as I unbuckled my seatbelt to get out. "What's he going to be like when I go into labor?"

I smiled. "I think he's just really excited to have a family."

"Me too," Bella said with a breathtaking grin.

"Well, that makes three of us," I agreed. I got out of the car, but there really wasn't a need, because Alec was already on his way out with an extra large bag of Doritos in hand.

"Thank you…You're my hero," Bella said to him theatrically.

"Hey, I just didn't want you having a meltdown."

Bella giggled.

"Give me the keys," I told him. "Now that you've handled the _crisis_, I think I can take it from here."

"Ok…But hey, since you're rich and all, maybe you can buy me a new car."

"Ha, maybe not. What's wrong with the car you drive now?"

"It's old."

"Hey, I drove an old car until I could afford to buy a new one myself," I argued.

"You don't want to buy me a car, that's fine. Bella is rich too, so…" he turned to Bella. "Will you buy me a new car?"

"Alec!" I yelled at him.

"What? Isn't it normal for teenagers to do the divide and conquer thing?"

"She's not buying you a new car either. There's no point anyway, not until we decide what our next move is."

"Well, maybe we should talk about it now, then," Bella suggested.

"Ok, let's," I agreed. "Alec doesn't mind moving away, in fact, he wants to, right?" I asked him, just to make sure he didn't change his mind.

"Yep. I like the plan of me being a model, let's go do that."

I rolled my eyes, and then turned to Bella. "I'm unemployed, so basically, you're the only one that has any ties anywhere…or did you quit your job before coming out here?"

"Oh, I guess I didn't. As far as I know, I still have a job in Milan," she said, becoming anxious again and biting her lip.

"Well…do you want to_ keep_ your job?" I asked slowly.

"Are we really moving to Italy?" Alec asked with a mix of excitement and trepidation.

"I haven't really thought about it. I don't know," Bella said.

"So, think about it. Do you like your job?"

"No," Bella said automatically, and then seemed surprised by her answer. "I guess I don't."

"Ok, so quit, and we'll find something you do like…Or, you don't have to work at all. Whatever you want to do."

"That's the thing, I don't know what I want to do right now."

"So take some time off, and then we can figure it out later."

"It's that easy, huh?" she asked apprehensively. "I'm not the type of person who takes time off. Being here in Forks has been my longest…_vacation_ since I started working professionally."

"Me too, but it's been…refreshing," I told her. "Now I can go back to work with a better attitude and a new outlook on life."

"I guess," she said to herself. "Well, since I'm pregnant, it wouldn't make sense for me to jump into a new job when I'll have to take a leave in several months."

"Exactly," I agreed wholeheartedly. I didn't want her to work at all, but I understood why she would want to. But waiting until after the baby was born was definitely the best decision.

So with Bella's choice to quit her job, we had nothing holding us back from making our next big move. But as fate would have it, that choice became so much simpler….

* * *

><p><strong>****Everything is coming together! <strong>

**Coming up next – An unexpected visitor and an unhappy run-in. **

**Please Review!**


	29. Misunderstandings

**Spinning Bottles**

~Chapter 29 – _Misunderstandings_~

Emmett and his family arrived in the early evening, but we already had the grill going and the steaks were just about cooked to perfection.

"Hey man, something smells good," Emmett said as he got out of the car.

"Can we have steak too?" one of the kids asked Rose shyly.

"Uh…" Rose said, unsure.

"Of course you can," I told him. "You can even have seconds."

"Really? Cause at the last place we lived at, the adults would all eat steak and we would have to eat beans and rice."

"Well, we do have beans too, but the sweet baked kind, and you only have to eat them if you want to," I told the kid.

"Cool," he said excitedly.

"Thanks for having us over," Rose said while giving me a friendly hug.

"It's our pleasure, I assure you."

"Where are Bella and Alec?" Emmett asked me while looking around the yard.

The house didn't have a designated backyard, so I was grilling on the front porch, which was better anyway. I had the vineyard stretched out in front of me as a view, and the kids had tons of room to run around and make all the noise they wanted.

"Uh, they're just inside getting some things together."

"I'll go in and see if I can help," Rose said before going inside.

"Hey, get back here!" Emmett yelled as his kids took off running through the rows of grapes in front of us.

"No, it's cool. The property is pretty contained, so there's no public road or anything for them to get hurt on," I told him.

"Yeah, but I don't want them running amuck and ruining anything."

"They're fine. Kids need room to explore…Besides, I had a playground put in off to the side in that direction. If they keep going they should run into it, so let's see if they find it."

"Oh, that's cool….Are you planning to have kids?" he asked hesitantly.

"Uh…Bella and I are making plans, yes," I said vaguely; we weren't ready to make any announcements just yet.

"That's great, really," Emmett said sincerely. "Congrats, man."

"Thanks. Hey, why don't we go inside, the kids should be fine for a bit," I told him before opening the front door and letting him go in first.

"Wow, all new furniture," Em said surprised when we walked through the living room to get to the kitchen. Alec and I had decided to buy new stuff that was nice, but more durable for the house. We wanted stuff that would last for a long time, that way there wasn't anything to worry about regardless of who was there.

"Eh," I said casually. "The other stuff wasn't really our style."

He nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I guess it was all a little outdated. So did you move it all to the cottage or something?"

"Um, we moved some things, and got other new stuff."

When we got to the kitchen, Rose was questioning Bella about everything to do with fashion, and Bella just looked…bored. She wasn't interested in fashion the way she pretended to be for work, but she still smiled and politely answered all of Rose's questions.

But then Rose mentioned something about the kids, and Bella actually became more engaged. She wanted to hear Rose's stories, but I couldn't tell if it was out of fear or excitement.

When dinner was ready, I sent Alec out to find the kids, and when he brought them back, they all began running around the house like they belonged there. Of course it drove Rose and Em nuts as they worried about them breaking things, but we just kept assuring them everything was fine.

"Momma, there's a pirate room up there," one of the younger boys said excitedly.

"Really?" Rose said, looking confused.

"Never knew you were into pirates," Emmett said with a laugh to Alec.

"I guess that's why I don't have any friends," Alec joked.

We all ate dinner, and when we were done it was starting to get late, so Em and Rose told the kids it was time to get going.

"Actually, we were thinking it might be a good idea for you guys to stay," I said casually.

"Huh?" Emmett said confused. Before I had a chance to explain, however, he suddenly seemed to understand but seemed uncomfortable for some reason. "Um, kids, can you go wait out front?" he asked them.

"Sure," one of the older kids said.

"I'll go keep an eye on them," Alec offered before following them out.

"Look, Edward, I appreciate the offer, but…we can't."

I squeezed my brows together confused. "We just thought it would be good -" I started to say, but he cut me off.

"I know that people do that sort of thing in New York, but we're not into it."

"Huh?" I was so confused, and by the looks on their faces, so were Rose and Bella.

"I mean, don't get me wrong, I think you're very pretty and all," he said to Bella. "But, I don't have any desire to be with anyone other than my wife."

Uh…

Rose looked horrified, but Bella covered her mouth to suppress her laughter, and then I understood. I asked them to stay, so he thought I meant that we wanted to switch partners for the night. It was gross, and absolutely hysterical.

I tried not to laugh, but Bella's face was getting more and more red as she was failing at holding it in, and I just lost it. We both started cracking up, which only made Rose and Emmett that much more confused.

"We're not swingers, Emmett," I told him after I finally forced myself to calm down.

"You're not?" he asked with a mix of relief and embarrassment.

"No."

"Then why would you want us to stay here tonight?"

I took a deep breath to calm myself completely, and waited an extra minute for Bella to calm down as well, and then I explained. "We're moving. We're not sure where yet, but we definitely don't want to leave this big place here empty…so we were hoping you would move in."

"What?" Emmett and Rose said at the same time.

"Well, you have a big family now, and we can't think of anyone better to live in this big house…It needs a family to make it a home, otherwise, it's just a terrible waste of space."

"Oh my god," Rose murmured to herself while looking around wide-eyed.

"Are you kidding?" Em asked incredulously.

"We're dead serious."

"Man, we can't move in here," he said regretfully.

"Why not?" Rose and I asked at the same time.

"Babe," he said to her. "We can't afford a place like this."

"It's paid off," I said quickly.

"Well, we can't pay rent," he argued.

"You don't need to. Look, I don't want just anyone living here; I want someone who will take care of it."

"But, what about Alec? You can't just give away your father's house, what if he wants to live here someday?"

"He won't. Both he and I want to move on, and have no desire to ever live here again. Neither of us have any particularly good memories here, so we're really hoping you can make some of your own. This house is yours; all you have to do is accept it."

"But…you own the vineyard, so where will you stay when you come to check on it?"

"What do you think we fixed up the cottage for?" I said with a laugh. When he still looked unsure, I sighed. "You would really be doing me a favor by moving in here. I really don't want to have to worry about anything after we leave."

He nodded absently. "Do you know where you're going just yet?"

"Not yet, but we're looking forward to figuring it all out," I said with a smile while looking at Bella. She returned my smile, which was so beautiful that I briefly forgot where I was.

"Man…" Emmett said, trying to search for something to force him to not take the house. I understood completely; the last thing he was looking for was a handout, but by me telling him that it would help me for them to move there, it was hard for him to argue. "I don't know how to ever thank you."

"No, this is me thanking _you_. You have done more for me than you'll ever know."

"I really don't think helping you with the cottage is an even trade for an entire house," Emmett disagreed.

"It's not about the cottage, and I can't really go into it, but just trust me, you definitely deserve this, if not so much more."

And then abruptly, he wrapped me in a huge bear hug. "I don't understand it, but thanks, from the bottom of my heart," he said while sniffling.

"Are you crying?" I asked surprised.

"He's not the only one," Bella said from behind me.

I turned to see Rose crying as well. "You have no idea how much we appreciate this. With our kids practically sleeping on top of each other, we were beginning to wonder how we were going to make it."

"Well, don't just stand there and cry, go tell the kids that they're home," I told them.

They thanked me again and then ran outside, but were back in a flash with all the kids running in behind them.

"We're really going to live here momma?" one of the kids asked Rose, and that was when Bella started crying.

"Why are you crying?" I whispered.

She raised her shoulders. "I don't know," she said through her tears. "Fucking hormones."

Bella, Alec, and I decided to let the McCarty's get to know their way around themselves, so we said goodbye and headed out.

"Let's walk back," Bella suggested while lacing her fingers into mine.

"It's dark," I chuckled. "And we have the car here."

"I'll drive it home," Alec said while holding out his hand, and waiting for me to give him the keys.

"Ok, fine…But if we get lost in the dark it's your fault," I told Bella while handing Alec the keys.

"I really don't think we're likely to get lost…Although, it would be kind of fun," she said seductively as she walked her fingers up my stomach.

I turned to Alec as he was getting in the driver's seat of the car. "We might get lost, so if we don't show up in twenty minutes…Don't come looking," I told him.

"Eww," he said appalled, and then got in the car to sped away.

"Maybe we should buy him a new car, that way he doesn't drive ours when we get them," I mused.

"Oh, we don't actually have cars, do we? I completely forgot that was a rental….SHIT!" she shouted abruptly.

"What?" I asked concerned.

"I left my rental up by Coyote Bend…It's probably been towed by now."

I shrugged. "Oh well, it's not like we can't afford the fees."

"True," she agreed, and then we walked the rest of the way under the stars, with our arms wrapped around each other.

….

You're going to get stretch marks," I teased Bella playfully while rubbing her lower abdomen. We were still basking in the afterglow of our evening love making session, and as we laid there on our bed, I couldn't help but take note of her smooth skin.

"No, I won't!" she said lightly horrified.

"Yes, you will. I've seen it," I reminded her.

"Ugh…" she said disturbed. "How much sex did you have with her - me, _whatever_, anyway?"

"Why? Jealous?" I asked amused.

"No…I don't know…maybe. It's strange, but I'd much rather think about you with the other people you dated than…her, me, whatever."

"Why?"

"I don't know. Maybe because there's no reason to compare myself to any of your other…_conquests_, but an otherworldly Bella is much more threatening in a way."

I laughed. "I could see how that would be true."

"Don't make fun of me, I'm serious," she said while smacking my arm. "It's all just really weird."

"I know, and I wasn't joking. When I was there, everyone kept telling me what a great husband I was and how I was the perfect dad, blah, blah, blah. By the end of the first week I wanted to punch myself…the other me, I mean."

"But you couldn't because he was …here?" Bella asked confused.

"Yeah, I wonder if he tried to contact you," I mused.

"No…you were the one who showed up at my office….right? Wait I'm confused."

"Yeah, that was me."

"Well, I hadn't seen you before that since we were teenagers, so he never contacted me."

"I bet he did. The thing is, when I woke up here, no time had passed, which means, even if he did contact you or at least tried to, you wouldn't remember because it would be like it never happened."

"That's so weird."

But then I got pissed.

"What's wrong?" Bella asked when she realized that I was fuming.

"That son of a bitch probably fucked you."

"What?" she shouted. "Don't be ridiculous. If I couldn't stand you, then I'm sure I felt the same way about the other you."

"No, he was 'Mr. Perfect'. I bet he knew exactly the right things to say to get you to fuck him."

"_You_ knew all the right things to say to get me to fuck _you_," she pointed out. "You know how to be a dick, if Mr. Perfect was really _Mr. Perfect_, then I wouldn't have gone near him."

I thought about it for a minute, and then sighed. "I guess you're right."

"Besides, why is it ok that you fucked Mrs. Perfect, but I couldn't have a little fun with Mr.?"

"Because….It wasn't you're 'eye opening – other worldly experience', it was mine. If my dad wanted to send you there, then he would have."

"Whatever," she said with faux bitterness.

It had to be the strangest conversation I had ever had with someone, and if anyone else would have been there to hear it, they probably would have been completely lost or worried for our sanity, but it all made sense to me…sort of.

"Well, regardless of Other Worldly Bella's stretch-marks, I'm not getting them," Bella said after a minute.

"Babe, some things are meant to be; Carlie is growing inside of you, and she will be giving you stretch marks. Just accept it."

"Nope, I don't have to accept it, because I have something the other me didn't."

"And what's that?" I asked with a smile.

"Enough money to afford the best creams."

"I guess you do have that," I agreed, though I secretly hoped she would still get them. I didn't really understand it, but there was something innately sexy about the mother of my child's stretch marks.

After making love again, we finally fell asleep for the night. We had been having a lot of sex over the past few days, and although I wasn't complaining, I was worried that I was exhausting Bella. So when the sun came up the next day, I decided to leave Bella sleeping, and get an early start on contacting my professional agent to see what kind of upper level jobs were available in the Seattle area. But then I got a text.

**N twn ned 2 meet quky** – **Alice Whitman **

"Huh?" I asked myself confused. I had to read the text again more slowly to try to even figure out what it said. 'N twn ned 2 meet quky'?...Oh, _in town need to meet quickly- _I assumed. I hated when people used confusing abbreviations and text lingo, or whatever the hell she was writing me with.

**U R N town? Forks? – E **…At least when I shortened words while texting, they made sense.

**Need 2 C U ASAP – A**

**Y – E**

**I'll call – A**

And then my phone rang.

"Alice?" I asked, unsure if it was really her because I didn't even know she had my number. I assumed she could have gotten it from Jackson, but why?

"Oh, thank god," her high pitched pixie voice sounded through the ear piece.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"I'll explain everything in person, where should we meet?"

"Uh…you can come to my place." I said, unsure as to why she seemed so panicked.

"No!" she shouted. "Why don't we meet somewhere more…random?

"Huh? Why; Alice what's going on?"

"Just tell me where to meet you!" she said in a rush.

"Ok…the gas station on Third," I suggested 'randomly'.

"Perfect."

"Do you need directions?" I asked her, still unsure why she was even on the western side of the country.

"I have a nav system on my phone, silly."

"Right. Ok, well, see you in a few then," I said baffled.

"Ok." And then the line went dead.

"What the fuck?" I asked myself.

"Hey, what's going on?" Alec asked as he came out to the kitchen where I currently was standing.

"I actually need to leave for a little bit, but Bella is still sleeping. Can you just hang here for her to wake, and tell her I'll be back soon?"

"Sure," he said with a lazy yawn. "Where you going?"

"Oh, I'm meeting a friend," I said vaguely, because basically, I had no idea why I was meeting her at the moment.

"Ok," he said, and then started rummaging through the pantry.

I went to grab the keys to the rental car, but they weren't in their usual place so I glared at Alec. "Where's the keys?" I asked him.

"Oh, I probably left them in my bedroom, I'll go check," he said and ran down the back hall.

I decided to get a drink while I was waiting, but when I opened the fridge, I saw the keys in the deli tray. "What the hell?"

"I can't find them," Alec said as he came back into the kitchen.

"Don't worry, I got them," I said while shaking my head at his teenage brainlessness.

I pulled up to the gas station on Third Street exactly seven minutes later, and I immediately saw Alice pacing off to the side.

"What's going on?" I asked out my window as I parked the car.

She looked around anxiously, and then jumped in the back of my rental. "Drive," she instructed.

"Drive where?" I asked confused.

"Just go!" she shouted.

"Okay," I said confused. "Where am I going?" I asked her.

"Anywhere. Stay off the main roads."

"Alice, what's going on?"

"Edward, I hate to be the one to tell you this…but I know you're innocent, and I don't want to see you go down for this."

"Innocent of what?" I said getting completely irritated.

"They have a ton of evidence already, and it all points to you, but I told them that there were a number of people who hated that woman."

"What woman?"

But before Alice had time to clear her annoyingly confusing words, red and blue lights flashed in my rear view mirror.

"SHIT!" Alice shouted.

"Fuck, Alice, what's going on?"

"Whatever happens, just remember that we're behind you," she said supportively as I pulled over.

"Mr. Masen?" the officer asked me.

"Yes," I said becoming slightly nervous. Obviously Alice had come to tell me something big, and whatever it was, the cops were after me because of it. What? I had no idea.

"We need you to come down to the station for questioning."

"Do you have an arrest warrant?" Alice asked smugly from the back seat.

"Right now, we just need you to come in for questioning," the officer said to me forcefully.

"He doesn't have to…" Alice was about to argue, but I just put my hand up.

"I'll come in," I said, just wanting some fucking answers. I didn't have anything to hide anyway, so why shouldn't I…I just wished I knew what it was about.

I got into the back of the officers car and tried to make small talk, and that's when I recognized him from high school, but he was all business and refused to converse….Maybe I wasn't nice to him back then, I couldn't remember.

When we got to the police station however, there was a madhouse of camera crews and newsmen sticking their microphones in my face as I was escorted by. I didn't understand most of what the people were shouting at me, but one thing stood out just as I went inside.

"Mr. Masen, did you murder her?"

_What the fuck was going on?_

As I was waiting in the room to be questioned, I thought about something Alice had said – _'There were a number of people who hated that woman'_, and then I thought about how the reporter asked me if I murdered someone.

_Holy Shit!_ – The only thing I could think of was Tanya. She was the only woman associated with me who people hated in that way, and if she turned up dead, I could see why they would want to question me. I vaguely wondered if her death was on the news but I had been so out of it with everything that happened with Bella, that I hadn't paid attention to the outside world at all. I wasn't even sure what the date was at the moment.

_Fuck._

I really didn't like Tanya, in fact, she was the biggest bitch I knew, but I didn't want her hurt, and I most certainly wasn't the one who hurt her…. But I had to wonder who did.

Finally after an immeasurable amount of time, two officers dressed in business suits came in and sat across from me to begin with the questions.

One guy clicked on a handheld tape recorder, and the other adjusted his pants before asking the most unexpected question I could imagine at that moment…

"Mr. Masen, when was the last time you saw Isabella Swan?"

"Excuse me?" I asked surprised.

"When was the last time you saw Isabella Swan?" he asked again slowly.

"Uh…" I thought for a moment. "It's been a few hours now," I said confused.

"You mean to tell me that you've seen Isabella Swan in the past twelve hours?"

"I'd say in the past two," I said, unsure how long I had been sitting in that room for.

"Isabella Swan has been here in Forks, Washington with you?"

"Yes, sir," I said puzzled as to why he was asking, but relieved that they weren't questioning me about Tanya - who I had no answers for.

"Mr. Masen, Isabella Swan was reported missing three days ago by her fiancé Marcus Caius. We traced her credit card activity, and the last transaction was for a rental car at SeaTac Airport. We located that car abandoned alongside the Quileute River, and only a quarter mile from there, we found several items with your fingerprints all over them. Now, multiple people who we talked to in New York said that Miss Swan was being harassed by you, regardless of her repeat efforts to ask you to stop….But now you're telling me that she came here on her own free will, and has been staying with you without contacting any of her colleagues or her fiancé?"

"Uh… Yeah, I guess that's exactly what I'm telling you. Bella came here to tell me something, and she's been with me at my place ever since."

"Ok, well if that's true than we need to speak to her right away."

"Yeah, sure, I'll just call her and have her come down," I said, and then patted my clothes for my cell phone, but realized that I must have somehow left it at home when I was looking for the keys. "I'm going to need a phone," I told them.

"Of course," the officer said, and then had a phone brought in.

I realized then that I still didn't know Bella's cell phone number, and there wasn't a house phone at the cottage, so I had to call Alec.

"Hello?" he asked with a strange tone.

"Alec, hey, put Bella on," I said to him quickly.

"Uh…that's not really possible," he said curtly.

"Why, what's going on?" I asked anxiously.

"She took off."

"She took off where?" I asked exasperated.

"I don't know. You left your cell here and it was buzzing, so she picked it up and your texts came on. She got freaked out and said she had to go. I didn't understand why she was upset, but then I read it. Damn man, what kind of fucking jerk are you?"

"What?" I asked completely baffled.

"You told me you were meeting a friend, not meeting some bitch for a _quickie_."

Fuck. Fuck! FUCK! – I knew exactly what he was talking about, and Alice seriously lost her position as my best friend. I had a feeling her cryptic texts were going to get me into trouble, though I supposed it was my fault. I was the one who had flaunted Alice in front of Bella in New York, and told her she was my casual hook up. And how the hell did I forget my phone anyway?

But after everything we had been through and everything I told her, how could Bella even think for a moment that I would leave her sleeping and pregnant to go fuck some chick?_ – _It made me sick, and I realized that we still had a lot of work ahead of us before she could fully trust me again.

"Alec, I need you to go find her," I told him, trying to remain calm.

"She took my car."

"What?"

"You had the rental, so she asked if she could borrow my car. She said she would bring it back, but that was over an hour ago."

"FUCK!" I yelled, a little louder than I intended.

"I can't believe you did this to us!" Alec shouted at me unexpectedly.

"Alec, I didn't do anything…I've done a lot of shit in the past, but this is just all some horrible misunderstanding. Alice Whitman is my best friend's wife. She just came to town to warn me that the police were questioning them about me being involved with Bella's disappearance."

"Bella's what?" he asked stunned.

"Her fiancé reported her missing, and -"

"Her fiancé? What the hell is wrong with you people?" he screamed at me, and then hung up.

_Oh Fuck!_ How could it possibly get any worse?

Alec's much needed stability just exploded in front of him, and I had no idea how to fix it at the moment. I only prayed Bella didn't do anything rash from thinking that I was stepping out on her.

"Well?" the cop asked me smugly. He heard my conversation; he knew damn well that I didn't know where Bella was. Fucking prick.

"Even if I had something to do with Bella's 'disappearance'," I said mockingly. "There's no body, so you couldn't charge me with anything anyway. But I didn't do anything. You can ask anyone here in town if they've seen Bella; The McCarty's, the people at the diner…Many people saw her here with me, and she's out there somewhere, driving my little brother's car."

"If she is alive and here in town, how do we know you didn't kidnap her? If all these people saw her, you could have been threatening Miss Swan to keep quiet. The people we talked to in New York said that she couldn't stand you and that you were stalking her."

"Whatever…It really doesn't matter what anyone said, because none of them really knew Bella, and they certainly didn't know her and my connection. We were together before, and we're together now, so if you would just let me go find her, then we could straighten all this out," I told him frustrated.

"Now, you just said that, and I quote 'none of them really knew Bella'. Is that correct?"

"Yeah, so?" I asked confused.

"You said 'knew' in the past tense form of the word. Mr. Masen, is Isabella Swan deceased?"

"This is ridiculous," I mumbled to myself.

"What's ridiculous is the notion that a famous fashion editor would just leave her high profile job and fiancé, without a word to either, abandon her rental car on the side of a random road with her purse and other personal belongings inside, and go stay with her alleged stalker voluntarily….Who, might I add, just lost his upper level position in a multimillion dollar company."

"I'm not a stalker!" I shouted.

"We have witnesses who say otherwise."

"Look, if you're going to charge me with some false crime, then do it, otherwise let me go."

"Mr. Masen, I would advise you to get a lawyer and to stay in town so you can be reached for further questioning."

"I really won't need to be questioned any further. Once I find Bella, this will all just be a funny story we tell people," I said annoyed.

I stood to leave, but then another cop walked in and whispered something to the one escorting me out. They nodded to each other, and then the new guy left and closed the door behind him.

"Mr. Masen, a new witness just came forward to say that he saw you throwing what looked like a body off of Coyote Bend Friday evening, the same day that Miss Swan rented the car. He also said he spoke to Miss Swan earlier that afternoon, and she said she was in town to ask you to back off and that she wasn't interested in a relationship. Now what do you have to say about that?"

"I'd say its bullshit!" I yelled. "Whoever said that was obviously lying."

"Now, why would anyone lie about such events? If Miss Swan was really out there somewhere, then this witness would know she could come forward and straighten everything out, thus getting him arrested for reporting a false crime and lying to the police."

"Look, I have no idea why anyone would say shit like that, but it's not true."

"Well, until we prove otherwise or a bail is set by a judge, we're going to have to detain you…."

Everything else he said was a blur because I was no longer paying attention. What the fuck was happening? Why would anyone say that shit?

All I really cared about at the moment was making sure Bella was alright. If someone was willing to lie to police about me, who knew what they were willing to do to Bella in order to make their story more believable.

I really needed to get out of that fucking place, and go find her myself.

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><p><strong>***AN: I don't know anything about arresting procedure or the law about evidence, so please don't write telling me that things weren't done in the real way. This is a fictional story, and if you can't take it as such, then I apologize and just don't read. Thanks!**

**Coming up next – **I'm sure we can all guess who's behind the false charge…Smell that? It's the scent of an idiot's jealousy. LOL

**Please Review!**


	30. Uncharted

**Spinning Bottles**

A/N: SPOILER ALERT! _- Wow, a lot of people were pissed at me for the added drama in the last chapter. But you all seem to have overlooked the fact that it was called 'Misunderstandings'. Not to mention the fact that she told Alec that she would RETURN the car. If she was running off, she definitely wouldn't have said she was going to return it. I assure you, this is not some long drawn out thing for the sake of prolonging the story. Just read on and see how idiotic someone can truly be…besides, I think a certain someone needs to get his shit handed to him, don't you think? ;)_

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><p>~Chapter 30 – <em>Uncharted<em>~

After being processed, I sat in my cell and worried. What the hell was happening out there? Despite being upset with me, Bella wouldn't just run off again…_would she?_ Surely she would turn up and straighten everything out, but then again, I never would have thought Bella was so emotionally unstable that she would have even considered jumping to her death.

But surely she was past being suicidal; it was just a moment of weakness but she was stronger than that now, right? I had to believe that she wouldn't try anything drastic, so that just left the realistic possibility of her leaving town to start over somewhere new; but eventually someone would see her, they had to, she couldn't just disappear. Eventually, my name would be cleared and I would have a chance to find her and beg for forgiveness. It was all just a misunderstanding, and someday she would understand that.

Time had no meaning as I sat there alone behind bars. I was worried about Bella, I was worried about Alec, and I had no idea how I was going to fix everything. Even once all this mess is straightened out, Alec would surely be set back on all the progress he made.

At some point, a guard came in and brought me a meal saying it was my _dinner_, which I thought was odd seeing how I never remembered getting lunch. Fucking jerks. Whoever lied to the cops about all this was seriously going to get their face kicked in.

I picked at the disgusting meal they had brought to me, but despite not eating at all that day, I wasn't hungry. I just wanted some fucking answers.

A little while after that, I was surprisingly taken out of my cell and brought to a private room, and then my lawyer stepped in.

"What the fuck is going on?" I asked him without any other form of a greeting.

"Relax, I'm going to get this off your record. By tomorrow, it'll be like none of this ever happened."

"What?" I asked unsure of what that meant. "Did Bella show up?"

"Everything is under control, Mr. Masen."

"Can't anyone give me a straight fucking answer'?" I asked, but it seemed like no one could, or just weren't willing to, so I needed to figure it all out myself. "Just get me out of here!"

"Right away, sir."

After I was released, I went to leave but saw a huge crowd of reporters waiting out front.

"Fuck."

"Actually sir, you have a car waiting for you out back," an officer informed me.

"Thank god," I said to myself.

I followed the officer out the back door, and then saw Alice and Jackson waiting by a car.

When Alice saw me, she scrunched her face up as if she was in pain. "I'm so sorry," she whined. "Did you get a cavity search?"

"What? No," I said disturbed.

"Hey man, you ok?" Jackson asked as he gave me a man hug.

"Yeah…But I'd really like to know what the fuck is going on and how you two got involved."

"Well, we'll tell you in the car; we should be getting over there before it gets any later," Alice said vaguely…I was really getting annoyed with her vague cryptic comments.

"Fine." I got into the car, but had no idea where we were headed next. "Now, tell me," I said as Jackson began to drive.

"All we can tell you is the part we know," Alice began. "Jackson was in Florida on business, so when the officer came to the door, I was home alone. He started asking all kinds of questions about Bella and your relationship. And then it hit the news that her fiancé reported her missing, and everything exploded from there."

"Ok, so why'd you come?" I asked her.

"Well, I found out that they were suspecting foul play, and by the questions they were asking me, I knew they thought you were involved. I called Jackson yesterday, and he told me you were in Forks so we both decided to get on the first flight here to be all supportive, but I was closer, so I knew I'd get here first. When my plane landed early this morning, I looked up the news on my phone, and it said that they were getting closer to finding the answers, so I knew that if you hadn't been arrested yet then it was only a matter of time. So I sent you the text because I was worried about who could possibly be around you to listen in at that moment, and if the police hadn't gotten to you yet, I wanted you to have a chance to run."

I just stared at her incredulously for a moment, and then glanced at Jackson and he looked just as baffled.

"I panicked," she said defensively when she noticed our exchanged looks. "How could you prove your innocence if you were behind bars?"

"He's not Harrison Ford in 'The Fugitive'," Jackson snapped at her.

"Who?" she asked clueless.

"Harrison Ford…never mind," Jackson said frustrated. "You just should have waited, or at least explained everything when you had the chance."

"I know, I'm so sorry, I acted like a moron."

"It's fine, your heart was in the right place…_I guess_," I told her. I was seriously starting to get a headache and didn't have it in me to try to understand her anymore. "Look, I need you guys to take me home; I have to find Bella and Alec." I had no idea where either of them would be, but I just needed to try and explain the Alice texting thing to the best of my capabilities.

"Actually, they're at the hospital," Jackson said regretfully.

"WHAT?" I shouted. "What the fuck happened?"

"Everything is fine, it's just a precaution."

"A precaution for what?" I shouted anxiously.

"Bella fell and hit her head, so she's on doctor's watch for twenty four hours….But the doctor said she's fine."

"How the hell did she hit her head?" I asked. This day kept getting worse and worse….or better, I wasn't quite sure. Bella wasn't missing, and I got out of jail, and the doctor said she'd be fine, so I supposed those were all good things.

"You know I actually really like Bella," Alice said out of nowhere.

"You talked to her?" I asked, a little more hopeful. If Alice and Bella talked, then at least they must have straighten out the texting mess.

"Your lawyer said it would be a while before he could get you out, so we went to the hospital to see if Alec needed someone to stay with…but someone named Emmett was already there to take him if he needed. So while we were there, we talked to Bella briefly and I explained the texting…and the fake flirting we did at her going away party. She's a really tough woman, and not just in the scary bitchy way like I always saw her as before."

"Alice…" I was about to ask more questions, but I had a feeling I would just end up more confused, and we were about to pull up to the hospital anyway.

When Jackson parked, I got out and ran inside. I was already told she was fine, but my entire life was in that building and I just needed to get there.

"Isabella Swan, please," I asked the receptionist.

She began typing on her computer, and then looked up at me annoyed. "Are you friend, or family?"

"Family," I said automatically.

"Second floor, room two twelve."

"Thank you," I said, and then took off towards the elevator.

It only took me a minute to get to the right room, and suddenly I had flashes of my mother's last few days. She had been at that same hospital when she died…of course it was on a different floor, but still, it brought back the unwelcome memories. I had to keep reminding myself that Bella was fine, but until I saw her for myself, I would continue to think the worst. It was just the pessimist in me.

"Are you ok?" Emmett asked me. I didn't even realize he was standing outside the door until he spoke.

"Fine," I said anxiously. "Thanks for coming."

"Of course, man. I'm sure you want to see Bella, so I'll just take Alec home with me when he comes out," Emmett offered.

"Thanks. I really appreciate it."

"Man, what a fucking nightmare all this has been, huh?"

"Definitely, I'm just glad it's over."

I opened the door slowly and peeked in, but the moment I did so, I saw her and we locked eyes.

"Hey," Bella said with a smile. She was on the bed sitting up with her legs crossed, and Alec was sitting on a chair next to her.

"Are you ok," I asked intensely as I rushed to her side. Alec got up, and without saying a word to me, he went out of the room, so I took his chair and grabbed Bella's hand.

"Everything is fine. How are you?" she asked concerned.

"Oh fuck, I've been so worried," I said honestly, and then my emotions caught up to me and suddenly I felt moisture rolling down my cheeks.

"Come here," she murmured, so I moved closer and wrapped my arms around her while burying my face in her chest. "Everything is going to be fine," she said softly.

I couldn't help but smile at that. "I thought that was my line," I mumbled while remembering what I had told her when I first brought her home after she tried to jump. I shuttered at the thought.

"Well, I guess that's just part of loving someone," she whispered while running her hands through my hair. "Reassuring the other when it gets overwhelming."

I took a heavy breath, drawing in her scent deep into my lungs before reluctantly pulling back just enough to see her face. "What happened?" I asked.

"It's all still a little confusing…When I woke up this morning, you were gone, and Alec said you were meeting a friend. When your phone kept buzzing, I just picked it up and your text screen came on."

"Babe, that was nothing," I interrupted her. "Alice is - "

"I know; your best friend's wife. She explained all of that when she was here earlier."

"Ok…so where did you go, and why are you in here?" I asked.

"When I saw the texts, I just reacted…I was such an idiot. I automatically thought it was James messing with you…You know, because of what happened to me before. So I borrowed Alec's car and drove straight to The Lot where I knew he would be."

I squeezed my eyes shut. I supposed it was good that she didn't automatically think I was cheating, but the fact that she went to handle it herself was infuriating and completely nerve-racking. "Bella, what were you thinking?" I asked.

"I wasn't," she stated. "I saw the name 'Alice Whitman', and it was familiar, but I didn't remember that she was the girl who worked for me, that you…showed off with. I just thought I recognized the name from someone who hung out with James or something. Like I said, I wasn't thinking, I just reacted."

"So, what happened after that?" I asked concerned.

"I found James and I told him to leave us the hell alone, but that was when he grabbed me. I later found out that his old friend Larry was a cop, and they were in on it together. They knew you were being questioned, so they decided to take advantage of the situation, and when I showed up there, I just made it way too easy for them. God, I'm such an idiot."

"But why?" I asked, trying to remain calm. I really wanted to kill the fucker, but thankfully for him, I assumed he had been arrested.

"When he grabbed me, he locked me in his car and said that if I didn't pay him two million dollars that you would never get out of jail."

"So… I'm confused… they were behind the entire thing?"

"No, Caius really did report me missing, and you were the…prime suspect," she said with an anxious giggle. "I guess that'll teach me to just cut all ties without explanations. I didn't even try to do it, honestly, I really didn't even think about Caius when I was with you.… And I knew that stupid rental car was going to come back to bite me in the ass. God, Edward, I'm so sorry."

"You don't need to apologize about me getting arrested, that was just a mistake….But, I still don't understand the James connection."

"He's an idiot. He's been waiting for a way to… 'bring you down', as he called it, since…I don't know, forever. His friend told him that you were being brought in for questioning, and when I showed up at The Lot, he thought it was the perfect way. After he grabbed me, his friend stayed with me, and he went down to the police station to make some false witness account, and since he had me locked in his car, he knew I couldn't just walk in there and disprove his story."

"So, what was he planning to do with you?" I fumed.

"James is a lot of things, but he's not a murderer and I knew that. He figured that if I paid him the money, then he'd be able to disappear and not get arrested for lying to the police, and if I didn't give him the money, he'd just force me to stay 'dead' by keeping me with him, thus keeping you in jail for my murder. Either way, he saw it as a way to 'stick it to you'."

"He really thought that would work?" I asked incredulously.

"He's been frying his brain for a long time, Edward."

"I guess… So how'd you get away from him?"

"When he came back from giving his so called 'witness statement', Larry had to go back to work, so I was alone with James again. He asked me about the money, and I said I would get it for him but we needed to drive into town to go to the bank….Now you would think he'd be smarter than to let me make a withdraw from my account when I was supposed to be dead, but like we already established, he's an idiot… He said that he was going to go inside the bank first to make sure there weren't any cops inside, and when he came back to get me, I saw an opportunity and just took it."

"What do you mean?"

"After I got out of the car, he went to shut the door, and I used his brief distraction to kick him hard in the balls. He dropped to the ground in pain, and I turned to run, but he caught me by the ankle and I tripped and hit my head on a light pole. I caught myself before I could fall over completely, but the doctors said I had a minor concussion, and since I'm pregnant they wanted to watch me overnight….Don't worry, Carlie is fine," she said the last part with a smile.

I smiled back at her, though I definitely wasn't in the smiling mood. I was grateful both she and the baby were fine, but I seriously wanted to kill the motherfucker.

"So, he got caught, I assume?" I asked.

"Well, our little scuffle obviously didn't go unnoticed, and Mr. Newton who was just about to enter the bank, stepped in. He helped me up, and then called the police on his cell phone. James took off running, but an officer who came in here to ask me questions, said they easily caught him and he was arrested."

"And Larry?" I asked.

"Also arrested, and believe me, the entire department is grateful to have Larry off the force. They knew he was crooked but could never prove it."

"Who told you all of this?" I asked, slightly amused despite everything. It's only natural for such events to change a person, and Bella definitely seemed different, but not in the way I would have expected. She was stronger somehow, more at peace with herself. It was a good thing to see.

"My dad still has a lot of friends on the force; I've had people coming in here all afternoon to visit and tell me things. It's been odd, especially since the last time I was in town I wasn't exactly in a good place. I just really feel awful that you were stuck in jail all day because of me. This entire thing was just a result of my stupidity, but I swear, I'm done acting like a brainless moron. It's time to move past all of my crap."

I nodded in agreement. "Time to start living again."

"Exactly." She smiled, and then I nuzzled into her closer again, and let her intoxicating scent calm my nerves. "Edward, I really am truly sorry for everything."

"I don't care about jail, as long as you're ok….Though I wish I could get my hands on James."

"He's right where he belongs. He's been charged with extortion, kidnapping, and lying to the police about witnessing a crime. He'll be in prison for awhile."

"I still wish I could have beaten his face in first," I mumbled against the skin on her neck.

"Ok, visitation time is over, Miss Swan needs her rest," a nurse came in and said.

I tightened my hold on Bella's waist. "I'm not going anywhere," I told her firmly.

"Sir, it's past visiting hours, you can come back in the morning."

"Nope."

"Sir…"

"Lady, I have every right to stay here with my wife," I argued.

"You're her husband?" she asked skeptically.

"Yes."

The nurse looked at Bella. "I thought you said you weren't married?"

"Common law," I lied quickly. "Besides, she's pregnant, and that means that my child is in the hospital as well. Now, surely you can't keep a father from his daughter."

The nurse rolled her eyes. "Miss, are you ok with him staying?"

"I would feel so much better if he did," Bella said theatrically.

"Whatever," the nurse said annoyed, and then walked back out of the room.

"So you called me your girlfriend when we weren't anything more that fuck-buddies, and now I'm your _wife_?" Bella asked with a smile.

"The fact that you're not my wife is just a technical error that I plan on rectifying sooner rather than later."

"Look, just because I'm doing the whole baby and family thing, doesn't mean I have any desire to get married," she said impassively. I narrowed my eyes at her, unsure if she was serious or not, but then she continued. "Unless I was asked properly, that is."

I could feel my cheeks scrunch together as my lips parted into a huge uncontrollable grin. "I'll keep that in mind," I told her.

I realized then that there was no point in wasting emotions on hating James; I didn't have room for it in my life, and all it would do was weigh me down. I wouldn't forgive him, and I would definitely make him pay if he got out of jail, but other than that, I refused to give him another thought, and I could tell Bella felt the same way.

"So, I was thinking," Bella said after a comfortable few moments of silence.

I snorted. "That's never a good thing."

"No, it is a good thing, because I haven't had a single intelligent thought in twelve years, so it's a very good that I'm finally thinking clearly again."

"Of course it is, I was just joking."

"I know…Anyway, I was speaking to one of the reporters who came…."

"Whoa, never talk to reporters," I told her quickly.

"I'm not an idiot, but I used to work with her and she was one of the few people with integrity that I've crossed paths with in business. Anyway, she writes for an online site that publishes stories about entertainment and fashion…but also real world events. It's like…the news…in a trendy modern way."

"Ok?" I said, because she hesitated.

"Well, there's an opening there, and with my background I could start at an upper level. It wouldn't pay what I'm used to making, but it's an online thing so I can work from anywhere and not worry about my body image as I get fat and stretch marks from pregnancy."

I couldn't help it, I had to laugh at the serious way she talked about getting fat.

"You think this is funny?" she asked irritably.

"Yes," I said while continuing to laugh.

She huffed. "You know, I have a hormonal excuse to blow up and scream at you."

"Babe, I'm not laughing at what you're saying, I think that all sounds perfect…I'm just laughing at _you_."

"And that's supposed to be better? Ugh, you are so…"

"Adorable? I know," I said smugly.

She smiled despite herself. "Yes, you are adorable, and you're lucky you are."

"Are you saying you only love me for my looks?"

She pretended to consider it. "Your looks definitely help."

So I pretended to be hurt by her comment. "You know, I was in jail all day today, and I was in serious danger of becoming someone's bitch. A pretty face like mine doesn't go unnoticed in the prison system. I would think you would have a little more compassion for me right now and make an attempt be nice."

"At least you weren't being driven around with your hands tied behind your back by a brainless menace who threatened to keep you a prisoner for life," she argued.

I thought about it for a moment. "Nope, mine was definitely worse."

"You're right, yours was worse, because unlike you, I never panicked and didn't have a doubt I'd get away."

"Hey, I thought you lost faith in me and ran off somewhere, leaving me to rot in jail for your murder."

"Wait…who lost faith in _who_? I never thought you were cheating, but you seriously believed I would just run away so easily." She clicked her tongue and shook her head slowly. "I have to say, I'm disappointed."

"In my defense…we haven't exactly been together very long," I told her.

"In your defense," she added. "I have been completely unstable and I honestly understand why you would worry that I'd do something like that. But in such a short amount of time, I've gotten stronger. Being with you again has filled that…hole, and now I feel like there's nothing I can't handle."

Somewhere in the middle of her words, her tone had become serious, and I could actually feel her sincerity. That was the moment that I stopped worrying about her.

Of course, she was the love of my life and the mother of my future children so I would always worry about her safety and well being, but I knew she was strong enough as a person to make it through the emotional difficulties life always would throw at us. The world wasn't a perfect place, but as long as she kept strong, and we continued to stand by one another, everything would be ok.

"I love you," I murmured to her before leaning in and kissing her gently on the lips.

"Mmm, I love you too, but you're not getting laid tonight," she whispered back.

"Can't I just tell you that I love you without you automatically thinking that I'm only saying it to get sex?" I asked offended.

"Not usually," she said with a smile.

I shrugged. "Well, sex would be nice…But I love you with _and_ without it."

She smiled again. "I love you too." She leaned back into me for another kiss, but this one went deeper and our tongues decided to get involved. The next thing I knew, she was grinding herself into me erotically.

"We are in a hospital," I scolded her with a grin.

"I know," she said unfazed before grabbing my hand and bringing it down to her warmth.

I automatically began circling her sensitivity, but I had to say it - "I thought you didn't like my hand."

"Sometimes it's the best we can do," she said absently.

"I don't think this is proper activity when you have a concussion," I said while slipping one finger inside her.

She moaned. "When is anything we do 'proper'? Besides, it's only a minor concussion and they would have sent me home if I wasn't pregnant."

"Hey, if we get caught it's on you," I said, then slipped a second finger inside her. I began pumping my fingers in and out of her, while my thumb still worked her swell, and then she started rocking her hips to meet the rhythm of my fingers. "God, you're so fucking sexy," I mumbled as my pants got tighter and that much more uncomfortable. She must have sensed my discomfort because then her hand crept down my pants and right onto my length.

"This is seriously a bad decision," I said feebly as I grabbed a blanket to cover us. "You fucking nympho." Words like that would have probably made the other worldly Bella pissed, but this one just laughed.

"I'm not due to be checked on for another ten minutes," she breathed.

"Oh no," I said, becoming alarmed. Hand jobs and fingering was one thing, but I wasn't about to have intercourse with her at the moment.

"Come on," she whined.

"Look, I'm all for sex in odd places, but this is not a good idea…At least not when you have a concussion."

"Really? It's just about the concussion, or are you too afraid of getting caught?" she challenged playfully.

"Babe, once you have the 'all clear', I'll fuck you in the janitor's closet if you want."

She giggled. "Promise?"

"In the janitor's closet, in the car, at a stop sign…We'll just see how many lewd acts we can commit before reaching home tomorrow."

"But if we stop now, you'll be in pain," she said while still stroking me slowly.

Fuck, she was right. "I'll deal…. I don't want to make a mess," I croaked as she picked up her pace.

"Don't worry, there's towels over there," she said with a grin in her voice. Of course, I could no longer see her because I was forced to close my eyes to try to regain control of myself…But it was pointless.

"You're the horny one, I don't…." and I couldn't finish speaking.

As I exploded in her hand, I vaguely wondered how that turn of events occurred. When I woke up that morning, never for a moment did I think that I'd spend the day in jail and the night cumming in a hospital bed. It was a fucking head-trip.

"Feel better?" Bella said smugly as I laid languidly beside her on the tiny bed.

"No, you were horny one, I really don't know how it turned into jacking _me_ off," I muttered.

"Don't worry, pleasing you is definitely pleasing to me," she said before kissing my neck.

"Ok, you two," a nurse came in suddenly. "If you don't settle down then I'm going have to make you leave," she told me. The only thing I was capable of thinking at that moment, was –_Thank god I'm under the blanket._ So I quickly refastened my pants when her back was turned.

"We were just about to go to sleep," Bella said innocently.

"You sound like a couple giggling school girls in here," the nurse added.

"Hey," I said offended.

"Just be quiet and let her get some rest," she said sternly.

"Yes, Ma'am," I conceded.

When she left, Bella giggled a little more, but the last thing either of us wanted was for me to get kicked out, so we finally settled and fell asleep.

Somehow, I managed to sleep through the overnight nurses' checks, but when I woke up, I was shocked to see a man sitting in a chair adjacent to the bed, reading a newspaper. He was a suave looking guy with sandy colored hair combed to perfection, and was wearing what looked like a well tailored suit. At first I thought he was another cop waiting to question us again, but then I noticed that his suit was Gucci and I just knew he wasn't there for a business meeting.

I glanced over at Bella, and she was still sleeping with her head on my shoulder, so I turned back to the guy and seriously wondered what the fuck he was doing there.

"Can I help you?" I asked after a minute.

The man looked up from his paper. "No, I'll wait," he said, gesturing towards Bella.

"Bella," I whispered, trying to wake her gently. I really didn't want to wake her at all, but I couldn't just lay there with that guy in the room. It was irritating, and the worst part was that I had a pretty good idea who he was.

"Hmm?" Bella said groggily.

"Uh, you have a visitor," I told her.

"What?" Bella asked confused. It took her a moment to realize where she was and what I was saying. "Oh…What are you doing here?" she asked the man.

"What do you mean, _what am I doing here_?" he asked insulted. "You're my fiancé and you had a terrible ordeal. Where else would I be."

"Uh…" Bella sat up and combed her fingers through her knotted hair, before looking at me awkwardly. "Do you think you can give us a minute?" she asked me.

"Probably not," I said without hesitation.

I expected her to argue with me, but instead she just turned back to the guy. "Caius, this is Edward Masen….Um, we've been seeing each other."

"Edward Masen? Sounds familiar," Caius mused. "Oh, wait, I know where I've heard that name before…There was a big article in Times about your sudden departure from Cullen Enterprises."

"Yep, that's me," I said evenly.

"You really made quite a mess when you left," he informed me. "A lot of investors pulled their support of the company out of loyalty to you."

"That can happen," I said surprised, but refusing to show it. I had no idea Cullen Enterprises would lose so much from my departure, but I really didn't care either.

The nurse came back in then, and we sat there in uncomfortable silence as she checked Bella's vitals.

"Well, everything looks great. We'll have the ultrasound tech come in to check the fetus one last time before you're discharged," the nurse said.

"Thank you," Bella said quietly.

"Fetus?" Caius asked after the nurse left again.

"I'm pregnant," Bella said boldly.

"Well, that's a curious unforeseen development," Caius said impassively. "Is this Masen man the father?" he asked, as if I wasn't sitting right next to her.

"Yes," she said without hesitation.

He pressed his lips and stared for a minute, and then sighed. "Well, I suppose this will delay our wedding a bit."

_He couldn't be serious._

"Huh?" Bella asked shocked.

"You're fucking delusional," I told him irritated. "She's not going to marry you, fucking idiot."

"I really don't see why immature name calling is necessary," he said calmly. "We can discuss the terms calmly like adults."

"Terms?" Bella asked confused.

"This doesn't change anything really, Isabella. I still want you to be my wife, and like before, what you do in your own time is up to you. Naturally you'll have to refrain from public appearances until after your body is back into shape, but it's nothing we can't handle."

"Hold on…You seriously expect her to spend her time between us? Being a mother when she's with me, and being your, what? Arm candy, show wife? Not going to happen, moron."

"I don't see how your opinion on the subject matters. Isabella and I have had a comfortable agreement for years, and I don't intend on letting your carelessness interfere," Caius said emotionlessly.

Since spending the day in jail and learning about James's involvement, I seriously wanted to punch someone; Caius was just an idiot, but he would certainly suffice. I went to stand up, but Bella grabbed my arm.

"Caius, our arrangement worked for what it was, but it won't work anymore. Sorry, but I won't marry you," she told him.

"I don't understand," he said vacantly.

"What don't you understand?" I asked. "She's with me, we're having a baby, and I'm not ok with sharing her."

"This is ridiculous, we had an agreement," he continued.

"Caius, I'm sorry, but it's over. I don't want that type of relationship anymore."

"You're seriously entering a monogamous relationship?" he asked her condescendingly. "You were more against that type of thing than I was."

She shrugged. "Things are different now."

"You think that just because you bring a kid into the mix that it'll be enough to sustain you? Trust me, before long you'll be fucking the pool boy and he'll be banging the babysitter. It's only a matter of time," he said, and then stood. "You just passed on the best opportunity you'll ever have." And with that, he walked out of the room.

"Sorry about that," Bella said to me after a minute.

"No, it's good that there's nothing standing in our way anymore," I assured her.

"Yeah," she said, but there was a sudden lack of confidence in her voice.

"Babe, what's wrong?" I asked.

She bit her bottom lip. "That's not going to be us, right?" she whispered.

"What do you mean?"

"What Caius was saying about getting bored and screwing other people….Edward, I don't want to have an open relationship with you…_Ever_."

"Babe, I swear to you, we could have sex the same exact way ten times a day, and I would never get bored of you….Or we could not have sex at all, and I still wouldn't want anyone else. You're all I'll ever want, and if you left me or something else happened to separate us, I'd walk around forever alone."

She stared at me for a moment, and then broke out laughing. "That was the cheesiest, most pathetically romantic thing I've ever heard."

"Well, it's true…And if _you _ever cheat, I'll hunt down both of your asses and ruin you."

She leaned into me. "You don't have to worry about that…You've already ruined me when it comes to other guys."

"Oh yeah, how so?"

"No one could ever hold a candle to you."

"You fucking know it," I agreed. And then we were making out like a couple of horny teenagers. Despite the tacky clichés, I really meant every word. I couldn't even imagine being with anyone else again, and just the thought made me want to puke. Bella and I had one of those rare types of connections that would never dwindle, that I was sure of.

….

After seeing an amazing little flickering heartbeat on the sonogram monitor, Bella was finally released, and on our way out of the building, I kept my promise and we had a much needed physical reunion in a vacant janitor's closet. Needless to say, it didn't last very long and we both ended up cumming too early…but we were in-sync, so it really didn't matter.

We decided to go straight home after that, but when we got there, it quickly became obvious that Alec was still pissed at me.

"Man, I told you it was all just a misunderstanding," I tried convincing him when Bella was in the shower.

"Whatever; you are both insane. She's engaged to someone else, and you screw other girls to make her jealous…What about any of that is just a 'misunderstanding'?"

"Well, technically both. She's not engaged to anyone else…_at least not anymore_, and I wasn't fucking anyone. It was a lie."

"So it wasn't a _misunderstanding_, it was a _lie_?"

"Look, I screwed up…we both did, but now everything is going to be better."

"Yeah, prove it," he said bitterly.

"I have no way of proving what's going to happen in the future…But I can tell you something that will be unbelievable, all you have to do is listen, and perhaps you'll have a little more faith in us," I said hesitantly. I never planned on telling him about my otherworldly trip, but he needed some kind of explanation for all the craziness of the past couple days. And for whatever reason, I suddenly knew he would believe me just as Bella did.

….

"Wow," he said after I told him everything. "You must have seriously been on one bad acid trip."

I gritted my teeth. So perhaps I was wrong in telling him….but perhaps not.

"Whatever," I said. "Regardless of whether or not my trip was drug induced, it was still a wakeup call and I'll never take my family for granted again. I've seen both sides, and let me tell you, being with you and Bella is definitely the only life worth living."

And then I had an idea.

"Hey, can you draw people?" I asked as I looked at all his sketches hanging around his room.

"I don't usually…But I have before. See," he said and then ran to his dresser before pulling out a big book. "Here." He opened the book, and flipped some pages until he reached the one he wanted to show me. It was a sketch of Pamela Anderson….and it was really good.

"Whoa, this is excellent," I said to him. "But I have to ask, why did you pick to draw _her_?"

"Are you kidding, she's a goddess."

"Yeah, for my generation she was, but for you she's just …._old._"

"Well, dad never had cable when I was growing up, so I was stuck watching old Baywatch reruns. Pamela Anderson is so fucking hot."

"I see," I said with a nod. "Well do you think you could draw a person for me."

"Who?"

"Carlie."

"How the hell am I going to do that when she isn't even born yet?"

"Well, I'll tell you what she looks like."

"But…I copied this picture of Pamela. Not traced, but still copied it. I don't think I could do it from scratch."

"Ok, well let me see what I can find," I said, which just seemed to confuse him.

I dug through some of my old boxes, and found the one that contained all of my old pictures. Luckily, when we were seniors, Bella had done a project on her family tree where she added a picture of herself as a kid, then gave it to me because I liked it so much. So I took that picture of Bella, and one of me around the same age, and brought them back to Alec.

"What's this?" he asked amused.

"She had Bella's eyes and nose, and my face shape and mouth. Long hair, and a big smile. Can you do it?"

He scratched his head while looking at the pictures. "Maybe. I can try….You're serious about this, aren't you?"

"Yes, and I want to give Bella the picture, so make it good."

"It'll take me a few days."

"Take your time, just do it the best you can….and I might just pay you with a new car."

"Seriously?" he asked enthused.

"We'll see."

"Ah man, I love you," he said without thinking.

"Well, I love you too."

….

The next few days were oddly calm and chaotic at the same time. Jackson and Alice decided to hang out for the rest of the week, so when they weren't at their hotel, they were at our place. Emmett and his family were also around, so it was very surrealistic having my two worlds collide in that way. Everyone seemed to get along very well, and even after all the misunderstandings, Alice and Bella acted like old friends.

"Ok, that's it, we need to go shopping," Alice said one day.

"Why?" Bella said with a frown knowing exactly what she was talking about.

"Bella, it's one thing to quit one of the best jobs in fashion, but it is completely different to ignore fashion altogether. Edward's old sweats have to go."

"Yeah, I have to agree," Rose chimed in. "But since you're pregnant we should go buy you some maternity clothes."

"That's a good idea," Alice concurred.

Bella and I didn't plan on telling anyone about her pregnancy, but after the stay in the hospital, it was just hard to keep it a secret.

"Look, I'll go shopping, but I'm not getting rid of Edward's sweats. I love them, and there's nothing wrong with sleeping in them."

"Yes there is, you have to wear cute little nighties to bed for your man. Burn them Bella," Alice argued.

"No way. I'll wear the nighties sometimes, but these sweats will never leave my closet."

"Great, never let them _leave the closet_," Alice said with a smile. "I'm glad we agree."

Bella rolled her eyes.

At the end of the week, Jackson and Alice were set to leave, but then they said something I was never expecting.

"We're moving to Seattle."

"Huh?" I asked Jackson in shock. "I thought you never wanted to leave New York?"

"Well, the market there is too crowded…Edward, I know you've said no in the past, but I really want you to come into business with me. My company could use a boost, and with all the investors who left Cullen Enterprises because of you on the market, we could push this thing onto the next level… I'll even give you the majority share."

"I don't need the majority share. But I think you're right, now's the time to make a move if you're going to make one…. What about Alice though, I thought she loved her job?"

"She's been talking to Bella, and I think she's really interested in doing that online thing… I just think this could be really good for us, but I need you on board."

"Let me talk to Bella…But, it sounds awesome man," I said, realizing that it was not only my best option, but it was exciting at the same time. "But I'm going to buy into the company, no freebees," I insisted.

"Man, you have yourself a deal."

….

Everything was coming together, and life seemed to finally fall into place. There were a ton of beautiful condos in Seattle just waiting for us to pick one, and we would always have the cottage to come home to. I couldn't imagine being on a better path, and there was only one thing that was left to fix.

"I am not climbing up there," Bella protested one evening.

"Come on, Alec is babysitting the McCarty kids so he won't be home for a few more hours. Lets climb up for old time's sake."

"One, we have never climbed on the cottage roof, we used to climb on my dad's; and two, I'm pregnant and falling down would be dangerous."

"This roof is less slanted than your dad's was. Besides, do you really think I would let you fall?" I asked.

"No, but….Fine, only for a little bit…and we're not having sex up there."

"Whatever you say," I said with a grin.

I helped her up to the roof, and smiled at the way she looked around completely surprised.

"You planned this," she said impressed.

"Of course I did."

I had a blanket set up, with some chilled sparkling cider and chocolate covered strawberries. Roofs were always a special for us, because no matter how chaotic our days got, we would always be able to escape it all for the few hours we were up there for. It was something neither of us had done with anyone else, and it was far time to reintroduce the tradition.

"This is really…special," she said unexpectedly. I actually thought she was going to make a joke or say something sarcastic, but she actually seemed touched.

We sat on the blanket, and then I poured us the cider as Bella laid back and watched the stars.

"Are we really here again?" she asked astonished. "After everything that's happened, are we really back on a roof with a future together laid out in front of us?"

I laid back besides her, and held her hand. "I know things got off course, but our futures have always been together. We're right where we belong, just like this," I said while squeezing her hand.

She turned her head towards me. "We're really going to be ok, _aren't we_?" she asked.

"Oh baby, we're going to be better than ok. Here, I have something for you," I said while sitting up, then pulling her up as well.

"What's this?" she asked with a smile as I pulled her gift out from under the blanket. It was a large flat manila envelope adorned with a big purple bow.

"Open it," I encouraged.

So she did…slowly, and was utterly stunned silent when she saw it.

"This is Carlie," I said with a smile as she held the picture. Alec had done an amazing job recreating Carlie's beautiful face based on the information I gave him. It was her; my little girl's perfect face glowing back at me exactly the way she was in my memory, and now Bella had a chance to see her as well. "This is our future…well, part of it," I told her.

And then she began crying.

"She's so beautiful," she murmured.

"I wanted you to have this, as my promise for our future. No matter what happens, or where we end up in this world, I am one hundred percent sure that we'll always be together. It's not going to be anything like the things I told you about the other world, because we're different people with different dreams. So our future is uncharted, but the one thing that will be the same is _us_…our family. You, me, Alec, Carlie, and someday Anthony; that's what I'm certain about, and nothing else matters."

"I love you so much," she said as she continued to cry.

"I love you too….But I'm not done with my speech yet," I said with a smile and tears pooling in my one eyes. "Isabella Swan, you are my past, my present, and most importantly, my future. I can't imagine my life without you again, and there is nothing I won't do to make you happy. Will you marry me?"

A new round of tears washed over her, but before she could lose it completely she nodded. "Yes, of course I will marry you."

It was twelve years in the making, but finally, Bella and I were engaged and ready to spend the rest of our lives together.

She kissed me passionately…and then she started unbuttoning my pants.

"Hey, I thought you said I wasn't getting laid up here?" I said with a laugh.

"When do you ever _not_ get laid?"

"True," I said, and then we continued on into the perfection of the night…

* * *

><p><strong>****Is this the end of their crazy love story? – Not just yet. The HEA epilogue is coming up next, and after that we'll see how the other version of Edward did when he woke up in New York City. I'm planning on it being a multi-chapter story, but nowhere near as long as this one. I hope you'll continue to follow through that version as well. <strong>

**Thanks for all your support so far!**

**Please Review**


	31. Epi

**~Epilogue ~**

My head was pounding.

I opened my eyes briefly, only to squeeze them back shut again. It was too fucking bright, and once again I found myself getting pissed.

"Close the blinds!" I yelled.

And then I felt something warm and moist on my neck, and my foul mood dissipated….well, most of it.

"You are so grumpy after you've been up half the night drinking," Bella mumbled against my skin as she continued to trail kisses down my body.

"It's not my fault I drank so much…I was just trying to keep up with you," I said defensively.

"Hey, you don't see me with a hangover right now. You just need to learn how to handle your liquor better."

"I bet you felt just as bad as I do when you first woke up," I argued. "What'd you do, call room service and have them bring you up a Bloody Mary?"

"Well, 'Mary' is one of my closest friends," she said with a giggle. "And, she has a twin," Bella said while handing me a tall glass of the red lifesaving drink.

"God, I love you," I said while I took the glass from her.

"Was that comment directed at me, or Mary?" Bella asked.

"Both… equally."

She smirked. "Well, I doubt Mary could do this to you," she said while slowly moving her mouth down my naked body until she reached my length.

Fuck, the woman was insatiably horny. She always made it seem like morning sex was for my benefit, but it usually turned in a way that she was sure to get off just as much, if not more. She often overlooked the fact that men physically need rest periods between orgasms, and hangover sex was just another one of those instances where I needed time to perform efficiently; time, which she refused to be patient for.

"Babe, you are going to make me spill my drink," I mumbled feebly. My head was pounding too fucking hard to enjoy her glorious mouth properly at first, but as her lips continued to slip up and down me, the only pain I felt was from deep inside my stomach, and it was definitely the blissful kind of pain.

Just as the buildup was threatening to explode, she suddenly pulled away. I was about to protest, but before I had the chance to even get a word out, she was straddling me and then she slowly sunk down so I was filling her completely.

"I knew you were fucking horny," I croaked.

"I sleep next to you every night, how can I not wake up horny?" she said with a sexy grin as she started moving on me.

"God, I love you," I huffed as her movements quickened.

"Don't ever forget it," she murmured before she was taken over the intensity of her climax.

As her inner walls clamped around me, I tensed and erupted into her. God, even at thirty seven years old, Bella was just as perfect physically as she was as a teenager.

_I was such a lucky bastard. _

"How's your head?" she asked with shallow breaths as she stilled on top of me.

"What head?" I asked absently.

She giggled. "I guess we should get ready to go."

"Or we could just stay like this all day," I suggested.

She smiled again, but then she pulled herself off of me, and I was left chilled in the moist aftermath of her warmth.

"We need to get back to Forks, I'm sure Alec has just about gone crazy by now," she said as she climbed off the bed and started dressing.

"Good, he needs a lesson in responsibility."

"Hey now, you were the one who told him to take some time off to pursue his art."

"_Some_ time…not four years," I argued. "He's twenty three years old, and we're still supporting him. I should have never let him drop out of college."

"Like you could have stopped him," she laughed. "He was an adult at the time; he didn't need your permission."

"Still, I should have put more pressure on him."

"Should've, could've, would've, there's no sense in wasting time with regret."

"Wasting time with regret was the best think I ever did," I told her with a smirk.

She walked back over to me, and crawled back on the bed slowly before kissing me gently. "Well, I don't see any magic bottles around here, do you?" she said teasingly.

"Nope…. _thank god_. I had my _one_ eye-opening trip into 'what could have been', and my life is fucking perfect now; Alec's education is definitely not worth risking _my _life over," I told her seriously.

"Exactly, so let _him_ worry about it."

"I would….except we're still paying for him."

"Oh, honey. He's an adult, so give him his inheritance from your dad, and then tell him to get a job. He certainly doesn't need to be driving that fancy car of his when he can't afford to pay for it on his own."

I nodded. "Yeah, we should definitely cut him off."

"I didn't say that," she snapped defensively like a momma bear protecting her cub. "But just talk to him and tell him he needs to get a job. Give him time to find something, but make sure he knows it's not going to last much longer."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "What happened to that _Ice Queen Bella_ I used to know?"

She kissed me again, but then deepened it by adding her tongue, which I readily accepted. "The Ice Queen melted," she mumbled against my lips. "You were just too hot to resist."

"Were?" I asked insulted by her past tense form of the word.

"_Are_," she corrected quickly. "You _are_ just too hot to resist…always." She kissed me one more time, but then she pulled back and got off the bed to finish getting dressed. "Come on, get up we still have a long trip ahead of us."

Bella and I had been spending spring break at the Crystal Mountain Ski Resort with Jackson, Alice, Emmett, and Rose, and I had the bright idea to have Alec watch all eight kids. I was even laughing as I was thinking about it. I loved my brother, but the guy just had no direction in life and it was fun to dump a truck load of responsibility on him every once in a while.

Even though we lived primarily in Seattle for our jobs, we still enjoyed coming home to the cottage whenever possible, and with so many kids for Alec to watch, everyone thought it would be best for them to stay at Emmett's place while we were away because it was still by far the largest residence between us.

As I took the exit off the highway into Forks, I couldn't help but wonder about everything that could have gone wrong during our time away. "So, how many fires do you think he started in the kitchen?" I asked Bella.

"How many _fires_ did you start during your first trip into responsibility?" she replied with a giggle.

"Touché."

"If anything serious would have happened, he would have called us. Just relax."

We pulled up to the property with the Whitmans and the McCartys in the car behind us, and when our headlights reached the main house, a tornado of kids came pouring out.

"Oh. My. God," I said to myself in horror, and I wasn't even sure if I was joking or not.

The moment we stepped out of the car, the kids automatically drowned us in hugs, words of affection, and far too much tattling than I could handle at the moment.

"Daddy, aren't you going to punish him?"

"Carlie, for the hundredth time, I'm not going to ground Alec," I told her.

"But he set my doll's hair on fire, and then he told me to roast marshmallows on it."

"Oh, it was an accident," Alec said dismissively. "And I was joking about the marshmallows."

"Any other major disasters?" I asked him. Bella had been hugging Anthony, but then she turned to listen to Alec's answer.

"Edward, everything was fine," he replied with a triumphant grin. I glanced back at Emmett, and he rolled his eyes knowing all too well that we'd be hearing about all the week's mishaps from the kids over the next few days. But the kids were all tired so for the time being, we decided to just hold off the questioning until later, and we headed home for the night.

Jackson and Alice, along with their son Jasper, lived in Seattle and didn't have a place in Forks, but they came almost as often as we did, and made a home away from home in the local bed and breakfast, which was where they were headed that night as well.

Jackson and my company had flourished since I brought in all of Cullen Enterprises' business, which caused Cullen Enterprises to go into bankruptcy. I couldn't help but laugh at that one. Fucking Carlisle deserved it. Bella and Alice had also been doing extremely well in their career endeavors as well, and the online business completely took off and was rated the top in their market.

Life wasn't exactly how I had pictured it to be after returning from my other worldly glimpse…it was better. Carlie was just about to turn seven, and even though she looked exactly the way I remembered her from the other place, I was beyond excited to see her grow past that point. It was all a surprise after that when it came to her, and I couldn't wait to see how she would grow and change.

Unlike in the other world, Bella and I didn't wait to have Anthony. He was born a year after Carlie, but it was still him. The same little face, with his same inquisitive nature. He was definitely my mini me and emulated just about everything I did. But we also had _Little Lizzy_, as the other kids called her. She was three years old, and I liked to think she was this world's version of the baby Bella was pregnant with when I spun my way back to where I belonged. I had no way of knowing what happened with all of that, but there was no point to wasting my life worrying about it either.

The cottage wasn't even a two minute drive into the property from the main house, but by the time we got there, Anthony and Lizzy were already fast asleep, so Bella and I carried them to their beds, and then went out to talk to Alec. It was still early enough for Carlie to stay up a little longer, so I thought it would be best to have her present for the debriefing just to make sure whatever Alec was going to say was accurate.

"So?" I asked him.

"So, what?" he played dumb.

"I want to know everything that happened while we were gone."

"Why? I thought you trusted me?"

"I do, but…"

"But nothing. You're coming at me like you think I robbed a bank, or something."

"He didn't rob a bank; he set my doll's hair on fire!" Carlie cut in, as if her doll being destroyed was far worse crime than a bank robbery would have been.

"It was an accident," Alec reiterated.

"Ok, how did this fire come about?" Bella asked.

Alec huffed. "I started a fire for the kids in the pit, and she left her doll on the edge, so naturally the thing caught on fire. Its hair is made of yarn - for crying out loud."

Bella pressed her lips, and then looked back at Carlie. "Sounds innocent enough, what do you say we forgive him this time?"

Carlie crossed her arms in front of her stubbornly, and the look on her face was an exact replica of the former Ice Queen's. It was fucking hysterical.

"Oh come on, I even bought you ice cream so you would forgive me," Alec whined. He then got down on his knee so he was closer to her level, and then gave her puppy eyes. "Will you ever forgive me, Spacey?"

She bit her bottom lip, just as her mother did while deep in thought, and then she sighed and finally nodded. "Ok, but you're on probation," she said sternly. "And my name is _not_ Spacey!"

Alec began calling Carlie 'Spacey' because she had been completely obsessed about aliens since she was two. We didn't exactly know how her interest in the topic came about, but I wasn't surprised. I couldn't get my mind completely wrapped around the two worlds, but the other Carlie had a thing for aliens, so it felt completely natural for this Carlie to as well. But even more curious was the fact that every once in a while, Carlie would say something that made absolutely no sense - no sense to anyone but me….

"_Dad, why don't you bowl anymore?" she asked me one day._

"_What do you mean, I don't bowl?" I semi-lied. Unlike the other world, I didn't play in a bowling league with Emmett. We didn't live in Forks full time, so it didn't make sense to get involved in such a thing. In fact, I hadn't been bowling in this world since long before Carlie was born, so her question was somewhat startling and completely fascinating at the same time._

"_Oh, I thought you did," she replied confused._

_Anytime Carlie would ask questions that pertained to the other world such as that, she would always tell me that she dreamed it, or that she had strange fuzzy memories that seemed so real. I felt bad about her confusion, and I promised myself that when she was old enough to understand, I'd explain it all to her._

_We never really asked her about her other worldly thoughts or her love of extraterrestrials, but her and I would often spend hours just watching the sky for any signs of life. It was the time when I felt most connected to the other world, as if Carlie was somehow the link to both places just as my father had been._

…_._

"We'll be right there to tuck you in!" Bella called after Carlie as she skipped off to bed.

"Damn, that girl is a hard ass," Alec muttered in response to the unforgiving glare that Carlie shot him before she went. "I'll have to be sure to warn whoever she ends up marrying."

Bella smacked him on the back of his head.

"Ow," he complained like a child while rubbing the spot she hit him, but he didn't dare asking her what it was for. Alec may not have been completely raised by Bella the way he had in the alternate life, but he knew better than to mess with her or back talk in any way.

"I'm going to go say goodnight to Carlie, and then I'm showering. You'll be here in the morning, right?" Bella asked Alec.

"Yeah, but I'm leaving early."

"Ok, well, I'll leave you boys to talk then," she said before pulling Alec down so she could kiss his temple, and then she stretched up on her toes to kiss my lips. "Be nice," she whispered to me, and then she disappeared down the back hall.

"Well, I'm beat," Alec said with a yawn. "I think I'll be heading to bed too."

"Not yet, you're not," I said evenly. "We need to talk."

"What now?" he asked with an annoyed sigh.

"I really appreciate you watching the kids this past week, I know it couldn't have been easy."

"Got that right. I really don't know how or why anyone would ever choose to have kids….But, I guess I did owe you one, you know, for supporting me for so long."

"And that's what I need to talk to you about."

"Ah, shit, I knew this was going to come back and bite me in the ass."

I ignored his comment. "You need to figure out what you want out of life. We can't support you forever."

"I am trying to figure it out. What the hell do you think I've been doing all this time, sitting on my ass and playing video games?"

"Maybe. Look, you know I want nothing more than for you to find something that you love doing in life, but…enough is enough. Before you know it, you're going to miss out on life, and you'll only have yourself to blame."

"I get that, but I still don't know what to do. I just have a very hard time staying motivated."

"I know," I sympathized. "But doing anything is better than doing nothing."

"You're right," he said quietly, and then headed towards the front door.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"Just for a walk, I need to clear my head."

"Ok."

I still had hope for the kid, but I was worried at the same time. He was so unfulfilled, and I knew better than anyone what kind of toll that could take on a person's psyche.

After saying goodnight to Carlie, Bella and I cuddled together on the living room couch and watched an old movie while we waited for Alec to come back. But when he did return, he brought something with him that nearly scared the shit out of me.

"Look what I found," he said excitedly.

"Where the hell did you get that?" I asked, more frightened than I had been in years.

"I was walking up by Coyote Bend and hiked down to where dad used to fish, and saw this just sitting there."

I was completely and utterly flabbergasted. It was the bottle of Forks Own 2000 that I had brought to that spot with the intent to throw it into the river, but that was when I saw Bella, and due to her momentary desire to end her own life, I had forgotten all about destroying the bottle.

"We have to get rid of it _now_," I said in almost a panic. I couldn't be sent anywhere - I needed to stay with my family in the _here and now_.

"Oh, come on, you can't seriously believe it's really a portal to some alternate dimension," Alec said in humorous disbelief, but I definitely wasn't laughing.

"You're damn right I'm serious. Go take that bottle back, and throw it into the river," I insisted.

"I'm not walking all the way back there," he protested, and then stretched his bottle clasped hand out towards me in a gesture for me to take it myself.

I raised my hands up in front of me in a defensive gesture. "There is no way in hell I'm touching that thing."

"Edward, it's just a bottle," Bella said soothingly.

"I thought you believed me?" I said in a wave of hurt.

She smiled reassuringly. "I do believe you…but the bottle had power because you needed it to. I really doubt anything would happen again."

"Really?" I asked skeptically. "What makes you think that?"

She shrugged. "That's just what makes sense to me. But your dad was always a little off, so who knows."

"That's reassuring."

"Don't be such a pansy and take the freaking bottle," Alec said while trying to hand it to me again.

"Not going to happen. Besides, if it wasn't still all magical, it would be dirtier. Look how clean the thing is, and it's been sitting there for almost eight years." I shook my head as a chill ran up my spine. "Get that thing out of my house," I insisted again.

"Whatever," Alec said.

And then it happened…. Alec turned to take the bottle outside, but then he tripped on one of Anthony's balls and fell to the ground sending the bottle flying across the floor. It bounced twice, and then began to spin.

I just stared at it for a moment in shock – and then I just reacted. I jumped onto the couch as if I was a panicked housewife that had just seen a rat. "I didn't do it!" I yelled, hoping god, or whoever, wouldn't punish me for my brother's clumsiness.

"Shit," Alec muttered as he collected himself and stood up.

The bottle continued to spin in a surrealistic blur, and the three of us could do nothing but stand there and watch it.

Without seeing her move, I felt Bella's small hand in mine….and then it finally stopped.

"HA!" I shouted in exuberant relief.

"What does that mean?" Alec asked anxiously.

Just like in a game of spin the bottle, somehow I knew that whoever the bottle was pointed at when it came to a rest would be the one who would be subjected to its wrath – and it was pointed right at Alec.

Without letting go of Bella's hand, I stepped off the couch, and patted Alec on the back. "Have a good night sleep, and try not to be a complete moron wherever you end up."

"What?" he asked in a panic.

"Just remember, I'll be here when you finally learn your lesson and come back," I said with a smile, and then I led Bella back to our room."

I wasn't sure why, but I wasn't worried. I knew I wasn't in any danger of losing the life that I had worked so hard to get, and whatever lied ahead for Alec was for his own good.

I made love to my wife, and then held her in my arms while we peacefully drifted off without a care in the world.

Even though I was sure I would wake up in the exact same position I had fallen asleep in, I was still anxious to get out of bed the following morning. When I returned from my trip to the other world, it was like no time had passed for everyone else, so I couldn't wait to see what had happened to Alec.

I kissed my sleeping Bella, and then checked on my kids to make sure they were all still sleeping in their beds, which they were, so I rushed out to the living room where I found Alec passed out on the couch. He looked just as he did the night before, but there was something about his face that made him appear different somehow – more mature.

"Hey," I said gently. When he didn't stir, I decided to be a little more forceful. "Alec, wake up."

He scrunched his face, but kept his eyes shut and then mumbled something incoherently.

"Alec!" I shouted, low enough as to not wake my family sleeping down the hall.

"Get the fire extinguisher!" Alec yelled, and then startled himself awake.

"Whoa, brother," I said with my hand on his shoulder, trying to calm him.

"Edward?" he said as he looked at me confused.

"Yeah….Welcome back, man," I said with a smile knowing for certain that he was just returning from a trip of a lifetime.

"Where are we?" he asked as he looked around the living room.

"The cottage….Forks."

He took in a deep breath, and then a look of understanding mixed with relief crossed his features. "Oh Edward, it was horrible. I went to college after high school and got in trouble with a fraternity gang, and then you had to come bail me out of jail and ended up getting shot when you stepped in front of a bullet to save my life. Then you died and I had to marry Bella to take care of the kids, and damn, that woman is horny."

I just stared at him in pure disgust.

"Man, I have to tell you, I love you and I'm glad you're alive and all, but I am going to miss Bella's _enthusiasm_ – if you know what I mean."

Ok, the punk was going to lose a limb.

But then he started cracking up.

"Damn, you should see your face right now. You are so fucking gullible. Like Bella would ever turn to me like that if you died…._Would she_?"

"Get the hell out of my house!" I snapped at him.

"Oh come on, it was a joke - The place I just got back from was far worse than that…." With that, Alec got up and headed for the door.

"Where are you going?" I asked him.

"I gotta fix my life. Hug the kids for me, I'll see you later."

"Wait!" I called after him. "Get rid of this please," I said, and grabbed the bottle of Forks Own 2000 to hand to him.

"Hey-ya, Edward," he said as he readily took the bottle from me.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you….for everything." And then he reached for me and unexpectedly hugged me tightly. "I love you, man."

"I love you too, and I'm glad to have you back."

I had no idea what really happened to Alec and where he had been, but that was ok, it wasn't my story. My story was Bella and our three children sleeping soundly in the rooms behind me, and I would be forever grateful for the gift of knowledge my father forced me to live through in order to get on the right path towards them.

Our lives were definitely full of chaos and so much more happiness than I ever imagined possible, but the best part of it all was the fact that it was _my_ life. Bella and I had fought through our inner demons and made it out stronger than ever before. There were no easy roads, and every laugh, every embrace, ever smile on our children's faces were all proof that we were exactly where we belonged.

**The End….**_**For now!**_

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><p><strong>***AN: Thank you so much for reading, and reviewing when you were able, I really appreciate the support. **

**UPDATE – I was planning to write the other version of this story (Fork's Edward gets thrust into the life he would have had if he went to New York) but unfortunately, I just can't seem to get motivated for it. I had the first chapter finished and posted, but I decided to remove it because I hate leaving stories incomplete. I will, however, repost the chapter, along with a few more to finish that version in a form of OUTAKES at a later time. I'm sorry for disappointing you, but right now trying to write for this when I really don't feel it is just going to end up being a pathetic story. **

**Thanks again, and I hope you enjoyed the story!**


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